I NEED JOE CHRISTIANNI FACTS![views:16576][posts:136]__________________________________ [Oct 25,2006 3:36pm - niccolai ""] I'm going to give the Joe Christianni fact gen another go. I need more JC facts And by the way, You know how in the One Step Closer video by linkin park theband flips upside down? That was Joe Christianni's idea. |
| ________________________________________ [Oct 25,2006 7:21pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] Joe Christianni is responsible for 35% of toe stubbings. |
| ____________________________________ [Oct 25,2006 7:23pm - RichHorror ""] Joe Christianni and Zakk Wylde used to date extensively in the 70's, but now they're just good friends. |
| ____________________________________ [Oct 25,2006 7:35pm - anonymous ""] i know the real joe christianni personally i ll answer any questions |
| ____________________________________ [Oct 25,2006 7:36pm - anonymous ""] one thing that is true is that joe really does like flavored water |
| ___________________________________ [Oct 25,2006 7:42pm - dreadkill ""] he also invented sheepskin condoms after his original invention, lizard skin condoms, scraped the skin off too many vaginal walls. |
| _______________________________ [Oct 25,2006 7:46pm - Hoser ""] Joe doesnt like vaginas so the previous post was a lie......Dreadkill is Joe Christianni. |
| ____________________________________ [Oct 25,2006 7:49pm - anonymous ""] Dreadkill is Joe Christianni. also true |
| ___________________________________ [Oct 25,2006 8:19pm - dreadkill ""] Hoser said:Joe doesnt like vaginas so the previous post was a lie......Dreadkill is Joe Christianni. he wasn't using the condoms. he invented them so he could fuck guys without spreading aids. other people used them in vaginas. |
| ___________________________________ [Oct 25,2006 8:20pm - dreadkill ""] anonymous said:Dreadkill is Joe Christianni. also true that was very original |
| ________________________________________ [Oct 25,2006 8:23pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] Joe Christianni is a proficient xylophone player, but he lacks flair. |
| ______________________________________ [Oct 25,2006 8:39pm - the_reverend ""] he could finish watching the latest fat albert movie cause it was to "real" for him. and here I thought he liked black people. |
| ____________________________________ [Oct 25,2006 8:40pm - RichHorror ""] He could? I couldn't. |
| ______________________________________ [Oct 25,2006 8:45pm - the_reverend ""] jeffhorror and joe showered together no fewer than 13 times even though they were on opposing JV teams |
| ____________________________________ [Oct 25,2006 8:46pm - RichHorror ""] hahahahaha |
| ______________________________________ [Oct 25,2006 8:59pm - the_reverend ""] Joey C owns one share of stock. it was purchased from an internet company called chickie to something or other. this gives in a controlling share in said company. While serving on the board of goveners, he refuses to answer unless they address him in full as Prince Mr Christianni LLC. this name came to him in a dream in which his favorite current performer, Mo-danna, tried to adopt him. Neither the one share of stock, the new name, or the adoption ever lead him to true love. |
| _______________________________ [Oct 26,2006 10:39am - Yeti ""] Joe Christianni started the Sacreligion fan club. he's not just the president, he is also a client. |
| _________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 11:52am - xmikex ""] Joe Christianni's girlfriend once put out a grease fire with her camel toe |
| _________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 11:55am - xmikex ""] Joe Christianni bought Fear Factory "Remanufacture" and didn't return it. |
| _________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 11:57am - xmikex ""] Feminists actually protested Joe Christianni's synonymity with the word PUSSY. |
| _______________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 12:01pm - Anthony nli ""] When Joe was a child, the Christianis forbade him from watching any more moustache-era Queen videos. They had cleaned up after enough "accidents" already. |
| _________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 12:02pm - xmikex ""] Joe Christianni once got a boner during an episode of Malcolm in the Middle |
| _________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 12:03pm - xmikex ""] Joe Christianni has a WWFMD (What Would Freddy Mercury Do?) bracelet. |
| _________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 12:07pm - xmikex ""] Joe Christianni gets depressed sometimes and complains he'll never be good enough to work at the Route 1 Sunoco station. |
| ___________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 12:11pm - niccolai ""] Haha awsome. I Need WAYYY more though. I'm only up to like 30. FACT: The movie labyrinth was loosely based on Joe Christianni's early career as a petrolium transfer technician. FACT: Joe Christianni invented bell-bottoms. Q: What's the difference between Joe Christianni and a refridgerator? A: Refridgerators don't far when you pull your meat out. FACT: Joe Christianni thinks your hair would look SOOOO much beter with highlights. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 12:19pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] Joe Christianni has rabies |
| ______________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 12:25pm - skullfucked ""] joe christianni's monthly periods can produce as much as 2 litres of blood. |
| ___________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 12:29pm - niccolai ""] I have 35 now. keep em coming. |
| ______________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 12:37pm - skullfucked ""] joe christianni thinks axl rose would look "scrumptious" if he just wore more spandex. |
| _______________________________ [Oct 26,2006 12:38pm - Yeti ""] xmikex said:Joe Christianni bought Fear Factory "Remanufacture" and didn't return it. thats probably the most random one. |
| _________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 12:41pm - xmikex ""] haha back in the day you could tell if someone was a poser instantly if they owned Remanufacture instead of Demanufacture. |
| _________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 12:44pm - xmikex ""] Joe Christianni says stays in Tuesday nights to practice Tae Kwan Do, but he really watches Judging Amy. |
| ______________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 12:50pm - skullfucked ""] joe christianni uses playboys as a decoy to hide his impressive stack of tiger beat magazines. |
| ______________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 12:58pm - DrinkHardThrashHard ""] Scientology was created to explain Joe Christianni. Somewhere down the line, those damned impressionable celebrities misunderstood. |
| __________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 1:12pm - niccolai ""] 6 more facts and I will have 50, which is enough for me to post the link to the long awaited Joe Christianni Random facts generator v2.0 |
| __________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 1:16pm - niccolai ""] 3 more. |
| __________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 1:22pm - niccolai ""] 1 more. Mike, don't fail me now. |
| __________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 1:30pm - niccolai ""] vuala! 50 facts http://www.freewebs.com/automata/2jcfacts.html |
| __________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 1:32pm - niccolai ""] I'm still looking for more facts though. Once I get a dickload of them I'm going to try and bother Aaron to the point where he adds it to RTTP. |
| _________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 2:11pm - CaptainCleanoff ""] Joe Christianni once masturbated in a sea of men. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 2:30pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] The word "queef" was actually created upon Joe Christianni's birth by his mother, intended to mean "the act of birthing arguably the world's most impressive faggot," or in its verb form, "to birth arguably the world's most impressive faggot." The word's true meaning has clearly been lost in translation from generation to generation. |
| ______________________________ [Oct 26,2006 2:33pm - Lamp ""] On cold winter nights, Joe Christianni can be seen snuggling on the couch in front of the fireplace with a big bowl of popcorn watching the Gilmore Girls on DVD. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 2:34pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni to this day believes that the real meaning for the word "masturbation" is crying over a half-gallon of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia Low-Fat Frozen Yogurt while watching "The Notebook" in his ALF pajamas, worrying about how fat his thighs look. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 2:37pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni fellates cadavers. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 2:41pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] The first time Joe Christianni engaged in sexual intercourse, his first impulse was to put the condom in his ass. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 2:59pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Joe Christianni's porn collection is, in reality, the first 3 seasons of "The Golden Girls," and a bag of old Gummi Bears autographed by Richard Grico of "21 Jump Street" fame. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:00pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Having safe sex with Joe Christianni is not having sex at all. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:02pm - DrinkHardThrashHard ""] MarkFuckingRichards said:Joe Christianni's porn collection is, in reality, the first 3 seasons of "The Golden Girls," and a bag of old Gummi Bears autographed by Richard Grico of "21 Jump Street" fame. Fuck, that's MY porn collection too. |
| _____________________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:03pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Every year on Halloween, Joe Christianni dresses up as the Snuggle bear and creeps into every house in his neighborhood to make their clothes Snuggles Soft. |
| _____________________________________ [Oct 26,2006 3:04pm - skullfucked ""] joe christianni is in a substance free break dancing group called "the floor lords", whose members include himself and a rainbow brite doll. |