Metal-Archives review of Razormaze[views:29443][posts:151]__________________________________ [May 24,2010 8:53pm - Vinny T ""] :( 10% '87-'89 was a period in Thrash time when all the great Thrash bands were starting to loose their edge, and waves of generic, rip-off Thrash bands started hitting the scene. Well, in '09 and '10 it's happening again, and the pinnacle of bad, generic Thrash bands, Razormaze, released "The True Speed of Steel". "The True Speed of Steel" is by far the worst Retro-Thrash album out. The vocals sound horrible, and the same throughout every song, the riffs are boring and EXTREMELY forgettable, and the song writing is a terrible attempt at humor. So, now I ask myself, "where to start?" I guess I'll start with the vocals. The vocals are the worst part, they sound like a child is singing, a child trying to sound heavy. The lyrics are suppose to be humorous, but the vocals are so bad that I wind up laughing at the singing instead. And the gang chants, seriously? That is the most overused gimmick in Retro-Thrash, and so far only Municipal Waste has been able to do it right. Gang chants are supposed to be powerful, and slam the chorus into your brain, instead, Razormaze's chants come off sounding like three dudes, bored in room, half-assing the chants. And Razormaze overuse the chants to an extreme. I could go on all day about the terrible vocals, but I think the song "Slaughterotica" sums up everything I could say about the vocals. And now the bass. What bass? I didn't hear a single bass note in this entire album. Moving on, the drums. The drumming ranges from pretty bad to decent. There are a few moments where the drummer sounds like he has some talent, but is just too uninspired to attempt anything good. These occasions; however, are few and far between. A majority of the time, the drummer just plays simplistic drum patterns, much in the same way as Lars Ulrich. If the album is so bad, why 10%? That 10% comes from the guitar, but not the riffs, the solos. I'll talk about the riffs first. The riffs are boring, and forgettable. I don't remember half of the riffs, and the ones I do remember are lame Rock, Metal and Thrash combinations that sound like an amateur attempt at combination Motorhead with Metallica. The guitar player does however whip up some decent solos as if from nowhere. I'm not saying their amazing, but they are decent solos. In conclusion, avoid this album. This is the reason why people hate Retro-Thrash. Clearly the band are just trying to capitalize on the Thrash movement, as many bands did in the '80s. Don't buy it, don't download it, don't waste time on this band. |
| ______________________________________ [May 24,2010 9:21pm - deadlikemurf ""] :NEWHORNS: |
| _______________________________ [May 24,2010 9:39pm - alexc ""] well its obvious that this guy is simply trying to be an asshole. the album isnt THAT bad, jesus. |
| ___________________________________ [May 24,2010 9:46pm - Lich_King ""] A metal-archives reviewer "trying to be an asshole"? Come on, that's crazy. |
| _________________________________________ [May 24,2010 10:12pm - AndrewBastard ""] alex, you could sign up right now and write a 100% positive review your your own album...metal archive reviews are BS. |
| ___________________________________ [May 25,2010 7:20am - demondave ""] Vinny%20T said::( 10% And now the bass. What bass? I didn't hear a single bass note in this entire album. That's the best line. The bass is loud and clear. Such blatant 'I have something funny to say even if its wrong' metallum reviewing. |
| _____________________________ [May 25,2010 8:51am - htr ""] Maybe he wrote the review while in kindergarten on opposite day? |
| _____________________________________________ [May 25,2010 9:27am - Woah!_Shut_It_Down! ""] Meh, Metal Archives reviews are to be taken with a grain fo salt anyway, seeing as most people on there are a) elitists or b) people who think their views are life-changing and everyone should think like them or c) assholes with too much time to waste and writing blatantly wrong things(Necrophagist has no riffs? WHAT?). In reality most negative MA reviews are the result of internet roid rage, seeing as few metal albums or bands are truly bad except Jugulator(Judas Priest tried to go HEVY AZ FUKK) and Manowar(the whole thing). I've only written 4 reviews for that site, two of which didn't get accepted and one of those wouldn't be up today anyway because it was for BMTH. I gave 'em a 70 because I'm nice like that. Respek. |
| ___________________________________ [May 25,2010 9:41am - Lich_King ""] In our second album we had a song called BLACK METAL SUCKS. It got us a lot of exposure but the rage from the black metal kids all over was thunderous, and on metal-archives, they mounted their counterattack. Add in that a lot of people automatically despise the new wave of thrash out of hand and the reviews aren't always that fair. ALSO also, a good number of music snobs haaate humor in metal and think it automatically makes you a "joke band." That last one drives me nuts. Some quotes from our reviews there: "pre-pubescent He-Man worshipping kiddie thrash from the 21st century... On the next album they’ll be singing about pooh and start giggling." "IF you were just lifted from Evanescence and Korn's universe and you need a good introduction to thrash, for example, this album will do its best to fuck you over with its massive chunks of monotony, and if you are a thrash devotee, you will only be able to sigh in front of this sad depiction of your fave genre." "Lich King give 21st century thrash a bad name." The reviews are supposed to be objective. I've had fans that tell me that they submitted positive reviews that were rejected for seeming biased. That's fine if the same standard is held to the negative reviews, but it's not. In a thread about that BLACK METAL SUCKS song, a hater was railing against us for writing the song and then said "fuck you, I'm going to write a review of this album." That review was approved. Niiiice. |
| ____________________________________ [May 25,2010 9:48am - arilliusbm ""] WoW sucks even more. |
| ___________________________________ [May 25,2010 9:50am - Lich_King ""] In case that's aimed at us, we didn't get our name from WoW... and I agree. |
| ____________________________________ [May 25,2010 9:50am - arilliusbm ""] + 50 HP for agreeing |
| ________________________________________ [May 25,2010 9:58am - DestroyYouAlot ""] Woah!_Shut_It_Down! said:seeing as few metal albums or bands are truly bad LOL |
| ______________________________________________ [May 25,2010 10:03am - Woah!_Shut_It_Down! ""] Lich_King said:we didn't get our name from WoW Well then you can sue their asses. :doublehorns: It sucks searching "Lich King" and I shit you not, I went about 7 pages, nothing about the band... |
| _________________________________ [May 25,2010 10:10am - xmikex ""] Some German blog reviewed the In the Shit demo. I just put it through the dictionary.com translator. Some notable lines include: Even if the music is cool, but it remains no more than a fly on shit hot stone. and I can recommend this band to all those who tilt with a star and wake up with Burger Sangria back to bed. The point being, reviews are weird. |
| ______________________________________________ [May 25,2010 10:12am - MarkFuckingRichards ""] Burger Sangria. |
| _________________________________________ [May 25,2010 10:15am - AndrewBastard ""] overnight metalheads have no business writing reviews...hows that for elitest? Also people that suck at the english language shouldnt write them either... |
| _____________________________________ [May 25,2010 10:17am - arilliusbm ""] most metal archives reviews are done by 16 year olds now. also, the whoring of the "point" system is putting the kids in charge. |
| ____________________________________ [May 25,2010 10:19am - arktouros ""] That site is useful for everything except reviews. I can only read so many different adjectives to describe sounds. DestroyYouAlot said: Woah!_Shut_It_Down! said:seeing as few metal albums or bands are truly bad LOL x2 |
| ________________________________________ [May 25,2010 10:21am - boblovesmusic ""] for the record, I was the first person to review Revocation on the metal archives! |
| __________________________________ [May 25,2010 10:22am - C.dEaD ""] AndrewBastard said:overnight metalheads have no business writing reviews...hows that for elitest? Also people that suck at the english language shouldnt write them either... Lern 2 spell fagot. |
| _____________________________________ [May 25,2010 10:29am - arilliusbm ""] Revocations video is on concast on demand now |
| _________________________________________ [May 25,2010 10:58am - AndrewBastard ""] i need to learn to text better...that was from my phone. |
| ______________________________________________ [May 25,2010 10:59am - Woah!_Shut_It_Down! ""] DestroyYouAlot said: Woah!_Shut_It_Down! said:seeing as few metal albums or bands are truly bad LOL The way I look at it, metal's like pizza(in before "you stole that"), if it's great, awesome. If it's okay, then it's pretty good. If it's mediocre, at least it's pizza. But there's some stuff that's just plain ew. If it's "meh", then I'll still give it a try here and then, like Meh-suggah. I appreciate what they do, they just beat around the bush too much for me. |
| __________________________________ [May 25,2010 11:01am - C.dEaD ""] AndrewBastard said:i need to learn to text better...that was from my phone. LYES! |
| __________________________________________ [May 25,2010 11:41am - bloblovesmusic ""] Woah!_Shut_It_Down! said: DestroyYouAlot said: Woah!_Shut_It_Down! said:seeing as few metal albums or bands are truly bad LOL The way I look at it, metal's like pizza(in before "you stole that"), if it's great, awesome. If it's okay, then it's pretty good. If it's mediocre, at least it's pizza. But there's some stuff that's just plain ew. If it's "meh", then I'll still give it a try here and then, like Meh-suggah. I appreciate what they do, they just beat around the bush too much for me. This is kinda my stance on metal. Hence my "liking everything." |
| _____________________________________ [May 25,2010 11:50am - arilliusbm ""] that goes for all types of music.. |
| _________________________________________ [May 25,2010 12:02pm - love_is_a_fist ""] Vinny%20T said: And now the bass. What bass? I didn't hear a single bass note in this entire album. hahahaha apparently this kid doesn't know what a bass sounds like |
| ____________________________________________ [May 25,2010 12:03pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] does it sound like a fist? |
| _________________________________________ [May 25,2010 12:07pm - AndrewBastard ""] C.dEaD said: AndrewBastard said:i need to learn to text better...that was from my phone. LYES! yer rite...im NOT texting at 70mph on 95 north... |
| _________________________________________ [May 25,2010 12:07pm - love_is_a_fist ""] EXACTLY like a fist |
| __________________________________________ [May 25,2010 12:09pm - bloblovesmusic ""] love_is_a_fist said: Vinny%20T said: And now the bass. What bass? I didn't hear a single bass note in this entire album. hahahaha apparently this kid doesn't know what a bass sounds like the albums starts off with a frickin awesome bass line! (that I use as a ringtone btw!) |
| _________________________________________ [May 25,2010 12:11pm - love_is_a_fist ""] hell yea wren! |
| __________________________________________ [May 25,2010 12:15pm - bloblovesmusic ""] I often use it as a wakeup alarm. Best wake up ever! |
| ______________________________________________ [May 25,2010 12:16pm - Woah!_Shut_It_Down! ""] bloblovesmusic said: Woah!_Shut_It_Down! said: DestroyYouAlot said: Woah!_Shut_It_Down! said:seeing as few metal albums or bands are truly bad LOL The way I look at it, metal's like pizza(in before "you stole that"), if it's great, awesome. If it's okay, then it's pretty good. If it's mediocre, at least it's pizza. But there's some stuff that's just plain ew. If it's "meh", then I'll still give it a try here and then, like Meh-suggah. I appreciate what they do, they just beat around the bush too much for me. This is kinda my stance on metal. Hence my "liking everything." Like Ari said, that can apply for all types. Even pop and rap, but pop keeps making Hawaiian pizza. That shit's disgusting. |
| ______________________________ [May 25,2010 1:03pm - Yeti ""] metal-archives reviews are rancid tripe. so many reviews start with "i'm not a fan of black metal at all, but this album sucks blah blah blah". why review it? reviews are beefaroni anyways. unleash the Review Tarrasque. [img] |
| ________________________________________ [May 25,2010 1:05pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] Woah!_Shut_It_Down! said: DestroyYouAlot said: Woah!_Shut_It_Down! said:seeing as few metal albums or bands are truly bad LOL The way I look at it, metal's like pizza(in before "you stole that"), if it's great, awesome. If it's okay, then it's pretty good. If it's mediocre, at least it's pizza. But there's some stuff that's just plain ew. If it's "meh", then I'll still give it a try here and then, like Meh-suggah. I appreciate what they do, they just beat around the bush too much for me. life is too short to listen to shitty metal. |
| ___________________________________ [May 25,2010 1:08pm - Lich_King ""] The Tarrasque! |
| ______________________________ [May 25,2010 1:13pm - Yeti ""] it has been unleashed to scour and rid the Earth of album reviewers. |
| ___________________________________________ [May 25,2010 1:15pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] i dont know much about the Tarrasque...but it sucks! |
| ________________________________________ [May 25,2010 1:21pm - eyehatehippies ""] I review albums. Send it to me. |
| ___________________________________ [May 25,2010 1:32pm - Lich_King ""] The tarrasque does not suck, you don't want your adventuring party to go up against one until MAYBE the end of a high-level campaign. Roll crits all you want, it just keeps coming. |
| ______________________________ [May 25,2010 1:36pm - Yeti ""] "The tarrasque is a greatly feared creature. However, it spends most of its time dormant, sleeping deep in an underground lair . Its sleeping periods range between two to four months, to up to sixteen years. After these periods, the tarrasque awakes. Erupting from its underground lair, the behemoth starts on a rampage, terrorizing the nearby area, smashing every structure, devouring both plant and meat alike, killing anyone who opposes it, and ultimately turning the area into a barren wasteland. Only when the Tarrasque has been killed, or once it returns to its lair to sleep, is the land safe again." |
| ___________________________________________ [May 25,2010 1:51pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] excellent review.. i think i will purchase this animal immediately. |
| ___________________________________ [May 25,2010 2:43pm - Lich_King ""] I don't believe there's a GP value listed in the Monster Manual for such a transaction. |
| ________________________________________ [May 25,2010 4:39pm - DestroyYouAlot ""] Pretty sure I saw it listed as "1 6-pack of Mt. Dew and a handjob for the DM" somewhere. Probably the 1e DMG. |
| ________________________________________ [May 25,2010 5:28pm - AndrewBastard ""] DestroyYouAlot said: life is too short to listen to shitty metal. tell this to Wren...he's still learning, it's okay. |
| _____________________________________ [May 26,2010 5:11pm - Clown_Fist ""] Vinny T here can't differentiate a review and abuse because he's too busy operating his very own chain of Italian-themed casual-dining family restaurants! [img] |
| _____________________________________________ [May 26,2010 5:15pm - Woah!_Shut_It_Down! ""] Ah Vinny T's. I remember going there after the Anime Convention. Those Inuyasha cosplayers are quite the drunks. |
| _____________________________________ [May 26,2010 5:33pm - Clown_Fist ""] Ugh god |