An open letter to that dumb cunt Dr. Laura[views:10048][posts:53]_____________________________________ [Jun 29,2006 1:20pm - HailTheLeaf ""] Recently Dr. Laura said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them. 1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord -Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual impurity - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence. 4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexican illegals, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I buy Canadians? 5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? 6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? 7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die? 9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? 10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (a cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. |
| ____________________________________ [Jun 29,2006 1:43pm - anonymous ""] nobody cares about your stupid propaganda |
| ________________________________________________ [Jun 29,2006 1:49pm - whiskey_weed_and_women ""] the best advice that i can give you dr. laura, yeah ill ignore her |
| ________________________________________ [Jun 29,2006 1:51pm - Josh_hates_you ""] actually this is the best thing the waste of cyberspace known as hailtheleaf has ever posted. |
| __________________________________ [Jun 29,2006 2:06pm - brian_dc ""] this was a fun read. I think a lot of people who normally disagree with her here will like this. |
| __________________________________ [Jun 29,2006 2:07pm - brian_dc ""] by "her" I mean HTL, obviously. |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 29,2006 2:08pm - Joe/NotCommon ""] Jesus W. Bush hates gays, so support our troops, and hate them too. Goddamn democrats. |
| ________________________________________________ [Jun 29,2006 2:12pm - whiskey_weed_and_women ""] Joe/NotCommon said:Goddamn democrats. all those ones from the south, right Joe. |
| _______________________________________ [Jun 29,2006 2:13pm - Joe/NotCommon ""] Yes, exactly. |
| ________________________________________ [Jun 29,2006 2:25pm - voidexpression ""] Ah, Levitical Law is always a good time. Christians can get away with ignoring the edicts set forth in the Old Testament due to the new covenant of the New Testament, which is why I always get a kick out of Christians who follow the OT. I've always kind of wondering how Jews can ignore stuff like those listed above on a consistent basis, but can be legalistic to the point of absurdity on others. |
| ____________________________________________ [Jun 29,2006 4:38pm - ConquerTheBaphomet ""] First of all, the Old Testament is exactly what it is. Old. The old "laws" were laws of the Jews not of God. Those stupid man-made "laws" are just stupid and no one expects them to be followed. |
| ____________________________________ [Jun 29,2006 5:04pm - hungtaNLI ""] HailTheLeaf said:Recently Dr. Laura said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them. 1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord -Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual impurity - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence. 4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexican illegals, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I buy Canadians? 5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? 6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? 7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die? 9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? 10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (a cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. This bitch is the champion of cutting and pasting. You should try coming up with your own ideas sometime. |
| ________________________________________ [Jun 29,2006 5:22pm - VoidExpression ""] ConquerTheBaphomet said:First of all, the Old Testament is exactly what it is. Old. The old "laws" were laws of the Jews not of God. Those stupid man-made "laws" are just stupid and no one expects them to be followed. They are the laws of their God though if they actually follow the Pentateuch, which all Jews should. I just think it's funny that people always seem to pick and choose what rules to follow. Most somewhat religious Jews will be be kosher to the letter, but pretty much ignore everything else in the OT, when being kosher is just as much out of date as avoiding women during their menstrual cycle. |
| _____________________________________ [Jun 29,2006 5:25pm - Scoracrasia ""] hungtaNLI said:HailTheLeaf said:Recently Dr. Laura said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them. 1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord -Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual impurity - Lev.15:19-24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence. 4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexican illegals, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I buy Canadians? 5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? 6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? 7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die? 9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? 10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (a cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. This bitch is the champion of cutting and pasting. You should try coming up with your own ideas sometime. Haha, no shit. This dumb dyke cunt HTL does not know when to shutup. |
| ________________________________________________ [Jun 29,2006 5:26pm - whiskey_weed_and_women ""] Scoracrasia said:Haha, no shit. This dumb dyke cunt HTL does not know when to shutup. clearly you have all the ways with the ladies huh |
| _____________________________________ [Jun 29,2006 5:27pm - Scoracrasia ""] whiskey_weed_and_women said:Scoracrasia said:Haha, no shit. This dumb dyke cunt HTL does not know when to shutup. clearly you have all the ways with the ladies huh Damn I'm smooth. Not with dykes anyway. |
| ________________________________________________ [Jun 29,2006 5:30pm - whiskey_weed_and_women ""] or anyone else |
| ___________________________________ [Jun 30,2006 1:10pm - ShadowSD ""] Scoracrasia said:hungtaNLI said:This bitch is the champion of cutting and pasting. You should try coming up with your own ideas sometime. Haha, no shit. This dumb dyke cunt HTL does not know when to shutup. So are you guys... 1. Sticking up for Dr. Laura 2. Sticking up for The Old Testament 3. Too lazy to even read the post without insulting it first HTL could post her bank information for you, and you guys still would tell her to shutup. |
| _________________________________________ [Jun 30,2006 1:25pm - dreadedsilence ""] http://www.whosoever.org/bible/lev18.html pretty cool website. interprets this part of the OT and makes some interesting points |
| _________________________________________ [Jun 30,2006 1:28pm - dreadedsilence ""] i just realized that the link is from a gay online magazine....oops |
| ____________________________________________ [Jun 30,2006 1:38pm - Man_of_the_Century ""] If you want to get more laughs due to Christians, just go here: http://www.christiananswers.net/ |
| ________________________________________________ [Jun 30,2006 1:45pm - whiskey_weed_and_women ""] there's no need for a website to laugh at christians...i mean theyre real and out there in the world. it's enough to get me to laugh daily. |
| ____________________________________ [Jun 30,2006 1:48pm - RichHorror ""] That thing HTL pasted is a million years old. I think it's actually the first "oh isn't this funny!" e-mail I got after getting on the internet in the first place. I can't believe so many people've never seen it before. |
| ___________________________________ [Jun 30,2006 2:08pm - ShadowSD ""] dreadedsilence said:http://www.whosoever.org/bible/lev18.html pretty cool website. interprets this part of the OT and makes some interesting points This is the quote in it that really struck me: "Women were second class citizens in the Hebrew culture and were generally treated as property. If a man was penetrated in sexual intercourse he was being treated like a woman and so was degraded in the Hebrew mind. The offense was not that this was a homosexual act, the offense was that a MAN was treated like a WOMAN. If this line of thinking is correct it would serve to explain why there is no prohibition against female homosexual acts in the Old Testament. Women could not be degraded by such an act as they were already not held in high esteem." Compare this to the Ancient Greeks, who saw only men as worthy of giving sexual pleasure to each other, and saw women as non-sexual second class citizens who were no more than baby incubators. Isn't it amazing what two such seemingly opposite societies have in common when it comes to their concepts of inferiority regarding men and women? It just goes to show you, whether a society abhors gay behavior or condones it, elevating the male figure to a higher position and enforcing the concept of female inferiority creates an uncurrent of gayness. Why? Because humans are animals and driven by sex. Constructing a patriarchal society that covets masculine idols and embraces male superiority attempts to redirect that drive away from its natural target. That's why if I'm going to put anyone on a pedestal, it's going to be the female form. It's less gay than staring at Jesus' abs every day or assuming that deity implies dick. |
| ______________________________________ [Jun 30,2006 2:41pm - hungtableed ""] ShadowSD said:Scoracrasia said:hungtaNLI said:This bitch is the champion of cutting and pasting. You should try coming up with your own ideas sometime. Haha, no shit. This dumb dyke cunt HTL does not know when to shutup. So are you guys... 1. Sticking up for Dr. Laura 2. Sticking up for The Old Testament 3. Too lazy to even read the post without insulting it first HTL could post her bank information for you, and you guys still would tell her to shutup. I pick #3 - and I greatly disagree with you about her 'banking her own information" - the point is essentially that she lacks her own information and never has anything to say that wasn't cut and pasted from some whackjob moveon.org'ish type commie leftist website. |
| ___________________________________ [Jun 30,2006 4:11pm - ShadowSD ""] hungtableed said:HTL could post her bank information for you, and you guys still would tell her to shutup. I pick #3 - and I greatly disagree with you about her 'banking her own information" - the point is essentially that she lacks her own information Dude, I didn't say her "bank of information", I meant her bank information. The $ kind. |
| _______________________________ [Jun 30,2006 4:17pm - Murph ""] all I gots to say is Simon Magus > Jesus |
| ________________________________________________ [Jun 30,2006 4:34pm - whiskey_weed_and_women ""] ShadowSD said:hungtableed said:HTL could post her bank information for you, and you guys still would tell her to shutup. I pick #3 - and I greatly disagree with you about her 'banking her own information" - the point is essentially that she lacks her own information Dude, I didn't say her "bank of information", I meant her bank information. The $ kind. wow how could he not tell the difference. |
| _____________________________________ [Jun 30,2006 7:54pm - HailTheLeaf ""] ShadowSD said: HTL could post her bank information for you, and you guys still would tell her to shutup. haha, it's true, but you're giving them too much credit, you assume they can actually read. |
| _______________________________ [Jun 30,2006 8:45pm - hoser ""] ShadowSD said:Scoracrasia said:hungtaNLI said:This bitch is the champion of cutting and pasting. You should try coming up with your own ideas sometime. Haha, no shit. This dumb dyke cunt HTL does not know when to shutup. So are you guys... 1. Sticking up for Dr. Laura 2. Sticking up for The Old Testament 3. Too lazy to even read the post without insulting it first HTL could post her bank information for you, and you guys still would tell her to shutup. Hahahahahahahahahahaha....so true....she just sucks. |
| _______________________________ [Jun 30,2006 8:46pm - hoser ""] HTL is a second class citizen. |
| ___________________________________ [Jun 30,2006 8:56pm - ShadowSD ""] HailTheLeaf said:haha, it's true, but you're giving them too much credit, you assume they can actually read. Oh, they can read (when they choose to), but don't worry; as long as they don't know what a bank is, your money is safe. |
| ________________________________ [Jun 30,2006 10:36pm - eddie ""] 1. who is dr laura? 2. why should i care what she thinks? 3. why should i care what you think of her? |
| ____________________________________ [Jul 2,2006 6:49pm - Scoracrasia ""] whiskey_weed_and_women said:or anyone else heh, you tried to make a funny. Look he thinks he's people. |
| __________________________________ [Jul 3,2006 8:44pm - mornalin ""] um, i don't know if anyone caught this, but did shadow just convincingly prove that patriarchal society is inherently gay? |
| _______________________________________________ [Jul 3,2006 9:21pm - whiskey_weed_and_women ""] Scoracrasia said:whiskey_weed_and_women said:or anyone else heh, you tried to make a funny. Look he thinks he's people. please read your own statement, look in the mirror. now take a deep breath and put the shotgun in your mouth. take 1,2 seconds then pull trigger. i'd never group myself in with humanity thanks. |
| ____________________________________ [Jul 4,2006 12:01am - PatMeebles ""] Is this Dr. Laura the same as Laura Ingrahm? |
| __________________________________________ [Jul 4,2006 12:22am - Josh Martin NLI ""] eddie said:1. who is dr laura? 2. why should i care what she thinks? 3. why should i care what you think of her? 1. Some right wing cunt who gives sex/relationship advice and goes by what the Bible says. She's right down there with Jimmy Swaggert and other christian extremists. 2. Because unfortunately, millions of people in this country take her seriously. We don't see it too much around these parts, most people around here can think without having some made-up deity tell them what to do. But the "red states" are chock full of people who actually believe this shit, and they're allowed to fucking VOTE. The 3,000 people killed on 9/11 pales in comparison with all the damage christians have done to this country. 3. Form your own opinion. |
| __________________________________ [Jul 6,2006 10:59am - ShadowSD ""] PatMeebles said:Is this Dr. Laura the same as Laura Ingrahm? No, Laura Ingraham until recently had long blond hair and cut it wicked short, whereas Dr. Laura has always fairly short blond hair (but not dyke short), and is also shorter in stature. In addition, she is more focused on morality than politics... well, from her perspective anyway. |
| _________________________________ [Jul 6,2006 1:52pm - ShadowSD ""] mornalin said:um, i don't know if anyone caught this, but did shadow just convincingly prove that patriarchal society is inherently gay? Heh, I'm surprised that no one even attempted to argue with that post... for some reason, the opinions I assert that are the most novel and controversial are ironically the least likely to meet resistance. |
| _________________________________ [Jul 6,2006 6:25pm - ShadowSD ""] Perhaps certain people are biased against the standard progressive arguments they've already heard because they were originally explained inadequately to them, so coming up with something brand new, even if it's revolutionary, meets less resistance than those less controversial arguments with which they're already familiar. |
| ___________________________________________ [Jul 7,2006 7:40pm - ConquerTheBaphomet ""] Not every Christian is a piece of crap, you know. There are a lot of them who portray themselves differently and some don't like it. But don't judge every Christian in the world cause you don't know them. |
| _________________________________________ [Jul 7,2006 9:07pm - Josh Martin NLI ""] ConquerTheBaphomet said:Not every Christian is a piece of crap, you know. There are a lot of them who portray themselves differently and some don't like it. But don't judge every Christian in the world cause you don't know them. Not every communist was a piece of crap either, but I'm still going to make fun of them for following an idiotic belief system. My family is full of Christians. They are mostly good people. Doesn't mean I don't wish they weren't so gullible though. |
| __________________________________ [Jul 8,2006 10:59am - ShadowSD ""] I judge no one, that's why I can't stand people of any religion who do (especially in a religion that tells them not to). But it's important to remember that many of the people in any religion do not judge and condemn those who have different beliefs. Josh has it exactly right. |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 8,2006 1:33pm - anonymous ""] ShadowSD said:PatMeebles said:Is this Dr. Laura the same as Laura Ingrahm? No, Laura Ingraham until recently had long blond hair and cut it wicked short, whereas Dr. Laura has always fairly short blond hair (but not dyke short), and is also shorter in stature. In addition, she is more focused on morality than politics... well, from her perspective anyway. Ingrahm had cancer, so it's just growing back from the Chemo. |
| _________________________________ [Jul 8,2006 1:46pm - niccolai ""] Did Dr Laura respond to this? I would like to see the response. |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 8,2006 2:50pm - PatMeebles ""] niccolai said:Did Dr Laura respond to this? I would like to see the response. No, because this same letter is addressed to Bush, Dr. Laura, etc. They just start out the beginning of the letter differently in order to make it sound original. |
| ______________________________________ [Jul 8,2006 7:16pm - Y Draig Goch ""] and this is why I am a viking, so I can kill, raid, fuck, and have DEATH IN FIRE |
| ___________________________________________ [Jul 9,2006 3:09pm - ConquerTheBaphomet ""] Josh Martin NLI said:ConquerTheBaphomet said:Not every Christian is a piece of crap, you know. There are a lot of them who portray themselves differently and some don't like it. But don't judge every Christian in the world cause you don't know them. Not every communist was a piece of crap either, but I'm still going to make fun of them for following an idiotic belief system. My family is full of Christians. They are mostly good people. Doesn't mean I don't wish they weren't so gullible though. Well, to be honest, you don't know me OR what I believe in. I have different beliefs than most people. You are judging me based off the simple phrase, "I'm a Christian". You don't know the specifics of what I personally believe. Plus, I hate religion anyway because it's not real in the sense that people don't relate to religion. What I believe in is much more than that. |
| _________________________________________ [Jul 9,2006 5:38pm - Josh Martin NLI ""] ConquerTheBaphomet said:Josh Martin NLI said:ConquerTheBaphomet said:Not every Christian is a piece of crap, you know. There are a lot of them who portray themselves differently and some don't like it. But don't judge every Christian in the world cause you don't know them. Not every communist was a piece of crap either, but I'm still going to make fun of them for following an idiotic belief system. My family is full of Christians. They are mostly good people. Doesn't mean I don't wish they weren't so gullible though. Well, to be honest, you don't know me OR what I believe in. I have different beliefs than most people. You are judging me based off the simple phrase, "I'm a Christian". You don't know the specifics of what I personally believe. Plus, I hate religion anyway because it's not real in the sense that people don't relate to religion. What I believe in is much more than that. When did I mention YOU?? I was talking about christianity and what a stupid thing it is. If you believe in it, that's your problem. But, by definition, if you are a christian, you believe that Jesus rose from the dead. I don't believe in zombies myself and find it rather ridiculous. |
| ______________________________________ [Jul 10,2006 11:03am - HailTheLeaf ""] Come on, lots of Christians believe in angels, why not zombies, goblins, elves, and the tooth fairy? |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 10,2006 12:06pm - ShadowSD ""] "Zombie eat brains, but even zombie cannot swallow this injustice" |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 10,2006 12:16pm - ShadowSD ""] Josh Martin NLI said:But, by definition, if you are a christian, you believe that Jesus rose from the dead. I don't believe in zombies myself and find it rather ridiculous. There are some benefits... only a Christian would find The Night of The Living Dead to be an uplifting parable. |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 10,2006 12:19pm - ShadowSD ""] On another note, I wonder whether or not they believe Christ stank when he rose from the dead. After all, with all the maggots, worms, and parasites consuming his rotting flesh, how could he not? What's the explanation - emaculate consumption? You keep your smelly savior to yourself. |