Selfish retarded drivers
[views:6041][posts:63]_________________________________
[Jun 8,2007 8:27am - succubus ""]
this morning
more than usual
people stopped at green lights while other honk and they look at their cell phone causing traffic on a main road...people driving through RED lights, not stopping at stop signs, cutting in front of you as they merge causing you to break despite NO ONE being behind you and so they could have just waited for you to go by.
and i live AND work in portsmouth NH so my commute is short.
yay to moron drivers
[Jun 8,2007 8:31am - largefreakatzero ""]
Booo moron drivers. Yay road rage!
[Jun 8,2007 8:50am - succubus ""]
yeah i was good about road rage...i just held it in..i already know i'm dying young anyhow since it runs in my family
[Jun 8,2007 9:04am - largefreakatzero ""]
That is good that you have self-control. I will be killed or arrested for road rage some day. There is a certain joy that I receive by throwing a pro-wrestling-grade fit and intimidating some fag in a BMW who cut me off while talking on his cell phone. The terrified look on the fag's face is, well, priceless.
[Jun 8,2007 9:07am - the_reverend ""]
when homer held it in, he got those rage bumps. carina's commute is only 2 1/2 miles.
[Jun 8,2007 9:25am - largefreakatzero ""]
My drive to/from work is fine -- it's about 25 miles, but it's Route 89, so not a big deal. It's the trips to MA that make me insane. Oh, and now we have the weekend tourists -- some are fine, others think that NH is their fucking playground.
[Jun 8,2007 9:30am - Jared_The_zompire ""]
BOO URNS!!!!!!!!!!!
[Jun 8,2007 9:30am - succubus ""]
Aaron has witnessed my road rage at time though I cannot compare to my brother. My dad was best though...he would have a stainless steel baseball in full view and played the best mind game on the road
hah
RIP
[Jun 8,2007 9:32am - Jared_The_zompire ""]
I am a weekend tourist but soon shall live in NH. Love the state. I just need the money to move there. Anyway, I live in Tewksbury, MA and work in Woburn. My commute is 40-45min mon-fri. Traffic sucks almost all the time. Just people not giving a fuck about anything. 93 south suuuuuuuuuuuucks!
[Jun 8,2007 9:34am - Jared_The_zompire ""]
...I kinda just wanna buy a Canyonero. YA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Even though I already drive a full size pick up.
[Jun 8,2007 9:37am - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]
The other day some asshole was mad at me for no reason (he was confused and thought I had did something illegal). He was waving his hands around and honking at me, so I just stared back at his wife in the passenger seat and just started waving my tounge around at her. This of course only infuriated this guy further. I've also done this to school children when they're all making faces at you and shit when you're stuck behind a bus.
My Dad has some hilarious road rage stories. If somebody pulls up next to him and starts yelling he will just pretend he's retarded or deaf.
[Jun 8,2007 9:38am - DaveFromTheGrave ""]
succubus said:Aaron has witnessed my road rage at time though I cannot compare to my brother. My dad was best though...he would have a stainless steel baseball in full view and played the best mind game on the road
hah
RIP
stainless steel baseball?
[Jun 8,2007 9:39am - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]
DaveFromTheGrave said:stainless steel baseball?
Those fuckers hurt when when gets tossed your way. Nigga don't fuck aroun' wit dat shyt.
[Jun 8,2007 9:39am - FuckIsMySignature ""]
succubus said:this morning
more than usual
people stopped at green lights while other honk and they look at their cell phone causing traffic on a main road...people driving through RED lights, not stopping at stop signs, cutting in front of you as they merge causing you to break despite NO ONE being behind you and so they could have just waited for you to go by.
and i live AND work in portsmouth NH so my commute is short.
yay to moron drivers
that sounds like my normal daily commute. fuck Rt 9.
[Jun 8,2007 9:43am - the_reverend ""]
I think she means bat, DFTG. Wops get them when they get off the boat. it's some financial incentive program.
[Jun 8,2007 10:02am - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]
heeeeeey, Imma bash-a ayou brains in!
[Jun 8,2007 10:12am - the_reverend ""]
carina used to be horrible in the car with road rage. seriously, anyone that even changed lanes anywhere near her would throw her into a swearing tirade that would make even the pope's nazi heart explode. I learn a lot of italian swears in those days.
since then she has calmed down a lot and just yells at me now for looking at my cellphone.
[Jun 8,2007 10:34am - largefreakatzero ""]
the_reverend said:carina used to be horrible in the car with road rage. seriously, anyone that even changed lanes anywhere near her would throw her into a swearing tirade that would make even the pope's nazi heart explode. I learn a lot of italian swears in those days.
since then she has calmed down a lot and just yells at me now for looking at my cellphone.
Haha -- I knew I liked your woman.
[Jun 8,2007 10:37am - RichHorror ""]
I know all about retarded drivers. Yesterday I got rear-ended by a tractor trailer. He hit e so hard I went flying into the car in front of me. Thank God I drive an Abrams tank.
[Jun 8,2007 10:44am - ariavette ""]
this morning i saw two ppl not able to turn the wheel properly almost hitting ppl on the other side b/c the other hand was holding a cell phone.
[Jun 8,2007 10:59am - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]
RichHorror said:I know all about retarded drivers. Yesterday I got rear-ended by a tractor trailer. He hit e so hard I went flying into the car in front of me. Thank God I drive an Abrams tank.
Holy shit, make sure you get on that crap right away though and report it. Family of mine have been in the middle in 3-car crashes and the asshole way in the front always ends up trying to sue the car in the middle at some point.
[Jun 8,2007 11:01am - RichHorror ""]
Yeah, I called the cops and had everything done. I just got off the phone with my insurance. I'm probably going to the ER because I felt fine all yesterday but now my neck is pretty sore.
[Jun 8,2007 11:12am - the_reverend ""]
I'm just glad that I've never seen rich behind the wheel.
[Jun 8,2007 11:16am - xmikex ""]
My rule for dealing with people acting dumb on the road is you hold down the horn until they're done acting stupid. The key to it is commitment. Like if they're pulling off a turn that they shouldn't be, or taking forever to merge into traffic, or even driving 10 miles an hour down a busy street you keep your goddamn hand on that horn the whole time. It gets results.
[Jun 8,2007 11:18am - RichHorror ""]
The best part that is was 93 South around 6 pm in Cambridge and he claimed I made a random lane change and he couldn't stop in time. This is awesome because if you've ever been on that part of the highway at that time of day you know a random lane change is FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE.
[Jun 8,2007 11:24am - xmikex ""]
there's always that classic moment from when you merge onto 95 from rt 24 north, and you need to get over 3 lanes to get on I-93 towards Boston. But it's rush hour, there are 3,000 cars flying by 30 mph over the speed limit and you've got about 2 minutes until you miss the exit. That's when you just shut your eyes and pretend you're an F-16 pilot as you roll left.
[Jun 8,2007 11:24am - the_reverend ""]
someone was looking at their blackberry today and swerved their ugly SUV/pick-up thing into me. I laid on the horn.
[Jun 8,2007 11:25am - RichHorror ""]
My best line from the entire ordeal was 'Say goodbye to your job and say hello to digging ditches in Tijuana you faggot'.
[Jun 8,2007 11:36am - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]
RichHorror said:Yeah, I called the cops and had everything done. I just got off the phone with my insurance. I'm probably going to the ER because I felt fine all yesterday but now my neck is pretty sore.
I was expecting to be sore the day after I passed out, hit the telephone pole, and rolled my truck over but I was fine and dandy. I am fucking indestructible.
[Jun 8,2007 11:37am - RichHorror ""]
Yeah, being a giant rules. I got rear-ended by a huge truck and I have the same soreness in my neck as if I just slept in a weird position.
[Jun 8,2007 11:40am - largefreakatzero ""]
RichHorror said:My best line from the entire ordeal was 'Say goodbye to your job and say hello to digging ditches in Tijuana you faggot'.
Ha -- well done.
[Jun 8,2007 11:49am - HailAtWork ""]
95 in Providence is a fucking death trap, people here don't know how to merge or what a fucking turn signal is. I wish it were legal to slam into assholes who cut you off without signaling. Everytime someone makes me hit my brakes on the highway I wonder why I can't beat them with a large stick...it's only fair.
[Jun 8,2007 12:43pm - Yeti ""]
the best thing of all is that there are countless shitty drivers, yet every single person you talk to about shitty drivers says "i know, i am such a good driver, they piss me off so much".
[Jun 8,2007 1:00pm - Raycm ""]
I whipped my van into the left hand lane on I-95 and the Vet that was tailgateing me hit the car infront of me, all I saw was glass and plastic flying. ooops!
[Jun 8,2007 1:26pm - DaveFromTheGrave ""]
xmikex said:My rule for dealing with people acting dumb on the road is you hold down the horn until they're done acting stupid. The key to it is commitment. Like if they're pulling off a turn that they shouldn't be, or taking forever to merge into traffic, or even driving 10 miles an hour down a busy street you keep your goddamn hand on that horn the whole time. It gets results.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=FONe--EjCpc
[Jun 8,2007 1:39pm - largefreakatzero ""]
HailAtWork said:95 in Providence is a fucking death trap, people here don't know how to merge or what a fucking turn signal is. I wish it were legal to slam into assholes who cut you off without signaling. Everytime someone makes me hit my brakes on the highway I wonder why I can't beat them with a large stick...it's only fair.
No one uses a turn signal in RI ever.
[Jun 8,2007 1:51pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]
Yeti said:the best thing of all is that there are countless shitty drivers, yet every single person you talk to about shitty drivers says "i know, i am such a good driver, they piss me off so much".
I'm honestly a very good driver when I'm awake. Not so much otherwise.
[Jun 8,2007 2:16pm - xmikex ""]
You know what makes me absolutely irate? When you're trying to get home from Boston on a weekend night and the streets (not the sidewalks, the middle of the street) are full with dorks and dudeguys. I have to wait until 2 grown men dressed like 13 year olds stop chest bumping until I can drive. Like a month ago some guy was trying to flag me down like I was a taxi (I drive a silver Corolla) and was legitimately mad when I didn't stop.
[Jun 8,2007 2:20pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""]
i don't even know where to start with this shit, haha. a priceless moment in CT a month or so ago comes to mind...
i was taking a right out of a stop and shop plaza at around 7 am on a saturday morning, so there were very few people around. i saw that the light turned green, looked to my left just to make sure no one was going to run their red light, and proceeded to take my turn. about 5 seconds later i have this fucking douchebag in a mazda tailgating me, holding down his horn, flashing his high beams and screaming. the guy was probably 50 feet from the light when my light turned green. the road splits into 2 lanes at one point, so he gets up next to me and rolls down his window, screaming his head off. when i told him "hey fuckface, i had a green light, suck my dick," he got bright red in the face and pulled his car over to the side of the road and just sat there.
just 2 nights ago i was taking a left at a light; there are 2 lanes that turn left at the light, then about 30 feet after the turn, the lanes merge. i was in the right of the 2 lanes. an old lady in a buick was in the left, and not even before the turn itself had been made, she swerved very abruptly into my lane. if i wasn't alert and didn't think that everyone around me sucks at driving, i would have gotten knocked off the fucking road. so, i honked my horn and made the "what the fuck was that?!" hand gesture and she fucking flipped me off! old people these days.
[Jun 8,2007 2:22pm - Raycm ""]
I like pushing already stressed out drivers with signs. "Does anyone know your out"....."Do you need to call mom"......"Do you need a nap" I keep them in my car and sometimes you can get them to chase you across all 4 lanes. lol
[Jun 8,2007 2:27pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""]
xmikex said:You know what makes me absolutely irate? When you're trying to get home from Boston on a weekend night and the streets (not the sidewalks, the middle of the street) are full with dorks and dudeguys. I have to wait until 2 grown men dressed like 13 year olds stop chest bumping until I can drive. Like a month ago some guy was trying to flag me down like I was a taxi (I drive a silver Corolla) and was legitimately mad when I didn't stop.
i feel like i should let go of all self-control when i'm driving on the main roads in boston because of those fucking idiots. what boggles my mind is that when your light turns green, 50 pedestrians just run right out into the street then glare at you as if you were trying to run them down.
speaking of people walking in the streets...
my girlfriend's father was driving down the street in his work truck (kind of like a small dump truck) on a narrow road one day, and 3 black kids were just walking slower than molasses in the middle of the road, acknowledging that he was driving behind them. he honked the horn, and they just looked back, didn't move. he honked the horn again, but they kept walking. this time they picked up pebbles on the road and started tossing them over their backs, hitting the truck. so, he got out of the car and grabbed all 3 of them at once and yelled in their faces, "THIS IS WHY PEOPLE CALL YOU FUCKING NIGGERS!" then they all cried and ran away, haha.
[Jun 8,2007 2:30pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""]
Raycm said:I like pushing already stressed out drivers with signs. "Does anyone know your out"....."Do you need to call mom"......"Do you need a nap" I keep them in my car and sometimes you can get them to chase you across all 4 lanes. lol
haha, if i kept signs like that in my car they would read far worse things.
one guy got pissed off at me for stopping at a yellow light...i know, it means speed up as fast as you can, not slow down, how silly of me. at the next light he pulled up next to me and told me to get off the road, learn how to drive, blah blah blah, so i just told him to get the sand out of his vagina and eat a dick. the left turn only light turned green, but this ass thought he could go straight, so he slammed on the gas and t boned some lady with 3 kids in her car. i clapped.
[Jun 8,2007 2:33pm - DaveFromTheGrave ""]
MarkFuckingRichards said:xmikex said:You know what makes me absolutely irate? When you're trying to get home from Boston on a weekend night and the streets (not the sidewalks, the middle of the street) are full with dorks and dudeguys. I have to wait until 2 grown men dressed like 13 year olds stop chest bumping until I can drive. Like a month ago some guy was trying to flag me down like I was a taxi (I drive a silver Corolla) and was legitimately mad when I didn't stop.
i feel like i should let go of all self-control when i'm driving on the main roads in boston because of those fucking idiots. what boggles my mind is that when your light turns green, 50 pedestrians just run right out into the street then glare at you as if you were trying to run them down.
speaking of people walking in the streets...
my girlfriend's father was driving down the street in his work truck (kind of like a small dump truck) on a narrow road one day, and 3 black kids were just walking slower than molasses in the middle of the road, acknowledging that he was driving behind them. he honked the horn, and they just looked back, didn't move. he honked the horn again, but they kept walking. this time they picked up pebbles on the road and started tossing them over their backs, hitting the truck. so, he got out of the car and grabbed all 3 of them at once and yelled in their faces, "THIS IS WHY PEOPLE CALL YOU FUCKING NIGGERS!" then they all cried and ran away, haha.
see, when somebody makes a decision not to get out of the way of my car, I make a decision not to slow down. simple solution.
[Jun 8,2007 2:34pm - Raycm ""]
I think guys that t-bone old ladys with kids in the car need their wallet lifted while their busy regaining conciousness. maybe leave them a note.
[Jun 8,2007 2:37pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""]
Raycm said:I think guys that t-bone old ladys with kids in the car need their wallet lifted while their busy regaining conciousness. maybe leave them a note.
fuck that, i'll shit on their chest, take polaroids, and send copies to all of their family members. then take the wallet.
[Jun 8,2007 2:38pm - Raycm ""]
LMAO..........
[Jun 8,2007 2:46pm - Raycm ""]
Mark we need to open a suicide hotline. Caller.....i'm thinking of killing myself......us.....well what do you look like....lol
[Jun 8,2007 2:50pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]
Raycm said:"Does anyone know your out"
What the hell does that mean?
[Jun 8,2007 2:57pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""]
Raycm said:Mark we need to open a suicide hotline. Caller.....i'm thinking of killing myself......us.....well what do you look like....lol
haha, i was actually thinking of how many lives i'd end up ruining if i was a suicide hotline operator. "my life sucks, everyone hates me, i have nothing to live for." response: "well what the fuck are you calling me for, end it already. stop wasting valuable air."
[Jun 8,2007 2:59pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""]
menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:Raycm said:"Does anyone know your out"
What the hell does that mean?
out of the looney bin maybe?
[Jun 8,2007 3:01pm - Raycm ""]
lol you follow my screwed up train of thought so well.
[Jun 8,2007 3:07pm - Raycm ""]
I'd like to answer the suicide hot line with: Hold Please!
[Jun 8,2007 3:11pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]
It's hard to explain, but there are some intersections on the way to my work where there is technically only 1 lane of traffic going in the direction I'm traveling. However, you can fit 2 lanes of cars IF the cars furthest to the right ride almost entirely in the breakdown lane. EVERYBODY (usually 30 cars or so) gets all the way to the right, approaching this intersection leaving the entire legal lane of traffic completely empty. They do this because up ahead they usually see 1 or 2 cars with their left turn signals on waiting at the light. Normally, getting to the right to pass people turning left would be a good idea in this situation, but this light ALWAYS has a green left arrow that lights up with our regular green. Our side of the intersection is always allowed to go first while oncoming traffic has to wait about 30 seconds. This always leaves plenty of time for everybody turning left to go. Knowing this, I always pass these stopped jackasses to my right who are practically on the sidewalk. I do this without ever having my left wheel cross the double lines. I can never figure out why people get into a quarter mile queue of cars in the breakdown lane completely stopped while the lane you're legally allowed to travel in is left completely empty.
One guy was so absolutely pissed that I got ahead of him in traffic doing this (simply getting ahead of someone in traffic no matter how legal it is, really pisses people off) that he tailgated me for several miles just pounding the steering wheel and nearly having a stroke. In a remarkable streak of luck, there was construction up ahead with loose gravel. At the next light while I was stopped I managed to gun the engine, spin the tires, and throw rocks all over his windshield. Fuck that asshole.
[Jun 8,2007 3:13pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""]
MarkFuckingRichards said:menstrual_sweatpants_disco said:Raycm said:"Does anyone know your out"
What the hell does that mean?
out of the looney bin maybe?
Ohhhhhhh "Does anyone know you're out?".
[Jun 8,2007 3:13pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""]
Raycm said:I'd like to answer the suicide hot line with: Hold Please!
haha, or tell them that it's a messaging service because all of the operators are too busy living their awesome lives.
[Jun 8,2007 3:14pm - Raycm ""]
See you like making friends too....lol way to go!
[Jun 8,2007 3:15pm - Raycm ""]
MarkFuckingRichards said:Raycm said:I'd like to answer the suicide hot line with: Hold Please!
haha, or tell them that it's a messaging service because all of the operators are too busy living their awesome lives.
LMFAO....
[Jun 8,2007 3:19pm - Raycm ""]
If you really wanna see a driver snap put 3 cans of Fix A Flat in one front tire and follow him, above 35 miles an hour the stearing wheel vibrates uncontrolably.
[Jun 8,2007 3:31pm - Josh_Martin ""]
MarkFuckingRichards said:Raycm said:I like pushing already stressed out drivers with signs. "Does anyone know your out"....."Do you need to call mom"......"Do you need a nap" I keep them in my car and sometimes you can get them to chase you across all 4 lanes. lol
haha, if i kept signs like that in my car they would read far worse things.
One time on tour we passed some guy on the highway wearing a yarmulke. You should've seen the signs we made that day.
[Jun 8,2007 3:36pm - Raycm ""]
Man I must have had too much to drink today.....How about when you pass an accident you hold up signs with numbers on them.....
[Jun 8,2007 3:38pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""]
Raycm said:Man I must have had too much to drink today.....How about when you pass an accident you hold up signs with numbers on them.....
hahahahahahahahaha! this is cruel. i love it.
[Jun 8,2007 4:50pm - hooker nibbling penis ""]
I had a "SHOW YOUR DICK" sign for a while. That was a fun one.
I remember waiting for the green line at harvard ave once. This woman was fucking BULLSHIT for some reason unbeknownst to me. Her target was this dude stopped at the light in front of her. She got out, walked up to his window and screamed for a few minutes. He said "Fuck you" and she spat on him and took off back to her car.
He undid his belt in a hurry and ran towards her car. She had already rolled her window up so he fucking punched a huge spiderweb into her windshield juuuuuust as a cop rolled by.
It was awesome.
[Jun 8,2007 5:39pm - Raycm ""]
Mark I want to hack into that site where you send in your 69 cents a day to sponcer a child over seas and when the bastards get drunk and forget to make a payment i'll send them a picture of their little girl with flys on them.
[Jun 8,2007 9:18pm - Hoser ""]
Portsmouth's population are about 90% transplants from Assholechussetts. No surprise to me.