Attention Marge Simpson, your son has been arrested.[views:7980][posts:80]_______________________________ [Jul 16,2008 10:45am - Yeti ""] Attention Marge Simpson, we've also arrested your older, balder, fatter son. Simpsons quotes time. go! |
| ________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 10:54am - aril ""] "Press any key." "Where's the Any Key?" |
| _________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 10:56am - xmikex ""] Oh I'm not a doctor. |
| __________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 11:05am - c.DeAd ""] "Owwww, OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, the bees are defending themselves somehow!" |
| ____________________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 11:06am - FuckIsMySignature ""] Mr. Simpson are you wearing a garbage bag? -I have misplaced my pants. |
| _______________________________ [Jul 16,2008 11:15am - guy ""] im kinda like jesus but not in a sacreligous way |
| _________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 11:18am - xmikex ""] Thanks to this fiesty feline. |
| ____________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 11:21am - dreadkill ""] bake 'em away, toys |
| ____________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 11:23am - dreadkill ""] And you took the Hamburglar's birthday off last Monday and Wednesday! Which is it? |
| ____________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 11:23am - demondave ""] "My eyes! The goggles! They do nothing! |
| ____________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 11:24am - demondave ""] “Take that, space coyote!” "space coyote?" |
| _________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 11:24am - xmikex ""] I'm Mr. Snnnnnrub. Yes, that'll do. |
| _______________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 11:25am - the_reverend ""] "When a woman says nothing’s wrong, everything is wrong. And when a woman says everything’s wrong, EVERYTHING is wrong. And when a woman says something’s not funny, you better not laugh your ass off!" |
| ____________________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 11:37am - FuckIsMySignature ""] more testicles mean more iron. |
| _______________________________ [Jul 16,2008 12:14pm - guy ""] it tastes like burning |
| __________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 12:16pm - c.DeAd ""] "My cats breath smells like cat food." |
| _____________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 12:17pm - anonymous ""] "you'll have to speak up, i'm wearing a towel" |
| __________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 12:17pm - c.DeAd ""] the_reverend said:"When a woman says nothing’s wrong, everything is wrong. And when a woman says everything’s wrong, EVERYTHING is wrong. And when a woman says something’s not funny, you better not laugh your ass off!" Thats a good one, especially the end. |
| __________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 12:17pm - c.DeAd ""] anonymous said:"you'll have to speak up, i'm wearing a towel" YES! |
| _________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 12:50pm - xmikex ""] Rancho Relaxo. |
| ____________________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 12:59pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] -Daaad..your half-assed underparenting was a lot better than your half-assed overprenting. -Aww.. But I'm using my whole ass. |
| _______________________________ [Jul 16,2008 1:21pm - aril ""] here's an old one for you: owww, quit it. owww, quit it. owwww, quit it. owwwwwwwww, quit it. |
| ___________________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 1:31pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] MOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!! |
| ________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 1:42pm - xmikex ""] You were not, you were just eatin that DAMN orange! |
| ________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 1:42pm - xmikex ""] The finger thing means the taxes |
| ________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 1:42pm - xmikex ""] THIS ENORMOUS WOMAN WILL DEVOUR US ALL! |
| __________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 2:09pm - Szyslak ""] Immigants! I knew it was them. Even when I thought it was the bears, I knew it was them. |
| __________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 2:37pm - powerkok ""] i drink blue juice from under the sink. |
| ___________________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 2:40pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] - Do you have any fruit? - This has purple in it... purple is a fruit. |
| ________________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 2:41pm - josh_hates_you ""] it smells like otto's jacket. |
| ______________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 2:44pm - Whoremastery ""] I'm somewhere where I don't know where I am! |
| ____________________________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 2:46pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""] HAMBURGER EARMUFFS |
| ___________________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 2:56pm - FuckIsMySignature ""] Alright just stay calm Frinky. These babies will be in the stores while he's still grappling with the pickle matrix hooo hay vnn!! |
| ________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 3:02pm - xmikex ""] I wash myself with a rag on a stick. |
| ______________________________ [Jul 16,2008 3:15pm - Yeti ""] Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. i believe you have a letter for me. ok Mr. Burns, whats your first name? i don't know. |
| ____________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 3:22pm - anonymous ""] homer had a piece of food stuck on his face for 3 days...and it wasn't little either, it was a chicken wing. |
| _______________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 3:32pm - dr. sphincto ""] why you're the fattest thing i've ever seen, and i've been on safari |
| ____________________________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 3:32pm - menstrual_sweatpants_disco ""] "Marge, how could you let me let myself go like this?" "Me? I'm not the one who puts butter in your coffee!" |
| _______________________________ [Jul 16,2008 3:33pm - aril ""] DOH!nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuutttttttttttttttttttttt! |
| ______________________________ [Jul 16,2008 3:36pm - Yeti ""] i heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate all the food in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant. my dad may be overweight but he's not some food-crazed maniac. oh thats raspberry. |
| ________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 4:02pm - xmikex ""] Hey Beardo, vote Quimby. |
| _______________________________ [Jul 16,2008 4:19pm - aril ""] I choo choo choooose you. |
| _________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 4:22pm - sxealex ""] BOO DOO DEE The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. |
| ________________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 4:22pm - josh_hates_you ""] Ooooh. The walls are melting again. |
| _________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 4:34pm - oscarct ""] I was saying BOOUURRNS |
| ________________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 4:58pm - anon is mouse ""] don't you just hate pants? |
| _______________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 5:26pm - Nocuous_Fumes ""] they call em fingers but I've never seen em' fing, ....oh there they go |
| _______________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 6:23pm - lsd shroomer ""] "there's very little meat in these gym mats" |
| __________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 6:39pm - Aegathis ""] “I know you're not a deaf-mute, Mr. Simpson. We've been talking for the last 20 minutes.” |
| ______________________________ [Jul 16,2008 6:54pm - p79 ""] The Germans are after me, I'm so scared, oooh the Germans! |
| __________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 7:19pm - Dankill ""] YOU ARE NOW DEAF |
| _______________________________ [Jul 16,2008 8:19pm - Pires ""] FBI Agent- "When I tap your foot, and I say hello Mr. Thompson, you nod. Hello Mr. Thompson." Homer(perplexed, and whispers to FBI Agent #2)- "I think he's talking to you." ------------------------------------------------------------------ Homer- "Lisa, am I wearing pants?!" ------------------------------------------------------------------ Loudspeaker at the Power Plant-"The following employees have been fired. Simpson, Homer. That is all." ------------------------------------------------------------------ Homer-"MMMMMM, Gummy venus. *drools* ------------------------------------------------------------------ Bart-"Who the hell names their kid Bort?" Mother-"Get over here Bort." Guy-"Were you talking to me?" Mother-"No, my son is also named Bort!" Later, when Homer and Bart are going through the detention center: Guard-"ATTENTION! We are OUT of Bort license plates! I repeat, we are OUT of Bort license plates!" ----------------------------------------------------------------- I really could go on all day. Great thread! |
| __________________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 9:05pm - fuck logging in ""] I want to see my face in that horse's ass. |
| ___________________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 10:06pm - DaveFromTheGrave ""] Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns? Moe: No. [buzz] Moe: All right, maybe I did. But I didn't shoot him. [ding] Eddie: Checks out. Okay, sir. You're free to go. Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. [buzz] Moe: A date. [buzz] Moe: Dinner with friends. [buzz] Moe: Dinner alone. [buzz] Moe: Watching TV alone. [buzz] Moe: All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog. [buzz] Moe: Sears catalog. [ding] Moe: Now would you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment. [buzz] |
| ________________________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 10:33pm - IllinoisEnemaBradness ""] i'll have these babies on the market while he's still grappling with the pickle matrix, GOIVIN GLAVIN! |
| ____________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 11:28pm - demondave ""] [img] |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 11:57pm - Dankill ""] Bart: Otto, you gotta do something! There's a gremlin on the side of the bus! Otto: (Otto spots Hans Moleman driving an AMC Gremlin in the next lane) Eh, no problemo, Bart dude. I'll get rid of it. (Otto rams Molemen off the road) Moleman: Oh, I only had two more payments left. (Car hits tree and blows up) |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 12:12am - Dankill ""] Otto: "What am I smoking? Oh yeah... pot" Fat Tony: You guys have blundered into our secret tobacky patch. Lenny: Wow! Is that wacky tobacky? Fat Tony: The wackiest. Wiggum: "All our founding fathers, astronauts, and World Series heroes have been either drunk or on cocaine." Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand? Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up) Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl. Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy. Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up. Ralph: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers! Homer: Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs. Bart: b-6 Homer: you sunk my scrabbleship! Lisa: this game makes no sense. Homer: tell that to the good men who just lost their lives... SEMPER-FI! Marge: This is the worst thing you've ever done. Homer: You say that so often that it lost its meaning. Homer: Okay Marge, its your child against my child. The winner will be showered with praise. The loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore. Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? Marge: Homer, is this how you pictured married life? Homer: Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries. Homer: I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead. Bart: I am through with working. Working is for chumps. Homer: Son, I'm proud of you! I was twice your age when I figured that out. |
| _______________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 6:43am - lsd shroomer ""] Nelson: Your manager says to shut up! Robert Goulet: Vera said that? |
| ________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 8:13am - xmikex ""] Marge, do you have other men in the house? Radioactive men?? |
| _______________________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 8:35am - IllinoisEnemaBradness ""] what did i tell you, about the SKOOching! |
| _________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 8:59am - oscarct ""] "I accidently ran over his dog" "Really?" "yeah, but replace the word accidently with repeately and the word dog with son" |
| _________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 9:44am - c.DeAd ""] Homer-"Otto spelled backwards, is Otto, haha." Otto-"Now I'm scared." |
| _______________________________ [Jul 17,2008 9:46am - aril ""] Ralph: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers! hahahaha I forgot about that |
| _________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 9:48am - c.DeAd ""] Lisa-"Well you're gay for Moleman!" Bart-"No, you're gay for Moleman!" Moleman-"No one's gay for moleman." |
| _________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 10:15am - xmikex ""] Well I have some news for you sir..... something that may shock and discredit you.............I'M NOT WEARING A TIE |
| _______________________________ [Jul 17,2008 10:34am - Yeti ""] Homer i don't want you stalking anymore. its so illegal. where are you going? i'm going outside to......stalk....Lenny and Karl. |
| _______________________________ [Jul 17,2008 10:34am - Yeti ""] Lenny and...........Karl dah nuts. i mean.....dah nuts. |
| _________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 11:12am - xmikex ""] Every muscle in my body is gettin a workout... especially my big fat mouth! |
| ________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 11:53am - aril ""] Krusty: A man walks into a bar with a tiny piano and a ten inch pianist. |
| _______________________________ [Jul 17,2008 12:45pm - Yeti ""] lets just say it moved me...TO A BIGGER HOUSE! uuuh i said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet. |
| _________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 12:47pm - xmikex ""] Ahoy hoy! |
| _________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 1:06pm - RustyPS ""] Homer; It feels good to tell the truth........no, I'm lying again, it feels baaad |
| ______________________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 2:53pm - BobNOMAAMRooney nli ""] See, I got this friend named... Joey Jo Jo... Junior... Shabadoo. |
| ______________________________ [Jul 17,2008 3:16pm - Yeti ""] thats the worst name i've ever heard. JOEY JO JO! |
| ______________________________ [Jul 17,2008 3:17pm - Yeti ""] Marge do you think i'm stupid? ................................................no ok! wait a minute, why did it take you so long to answer? ....................................................no reason ok! wait a minute, are you humoring me? .............................yes ok! wait a minute, thats bad! |
| __________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 8:00pm - Dankill ""] aril said:Ralph: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers! hahahaha I forgot about that Hahaha, yeah, I had to drag that one out. One of my all-time favs. |
| _______________________________ [Jul 18,2008 10:42am - Yeti ""] "man i could really go for a hot dog" "Homer this is a cemetery" "HOT DOGS! GET YOUR HOT DOGS HERE!" "do you just follow my husband around?" "lady he's putting my kids through college" |
| _____________________________________ [Jul 18,2008 11:09am - anonymous ""] so i said to him, listen buddy...your car was upside down when we got here..and as for your grandma, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that. |
| _________________________________ [Jul 18,2008 11:18am - xmikex ""] The new issue of Gigantic Asses is in. |
| _______________________________ [Jul 18,2008 12:44pm - Yeti ""] hahahahahahahahahahaha i can hear Apu's voice saying "Gigantic Asses". yeah give me a large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, a panty shield, someillegalfireworks aaaand, one of those disposable enemas. eh better make it two. i'm sorry sir but the sale of fireworks is illegal in- follow me. |