Hell Hath No Fury..........[views:5147][posts:13]__________________________________ [Jul 19,2004 9:26am - succubus ""] After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for his young secretary. His new girlfriend demanded that she wanted to live in the couple's multi-million dollar home, and since the man's lawyers were a little better, he prevailed. He gave his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out. She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning & mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit ... Repairmen refused to work in the house ... The maid quit ... Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place. The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back... Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth... But only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork. A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home ... Including the curtain rods........ |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 19,2004 9:34am - SUBJUGATE ""] when i moved out of my house in hingham i bought a large roast and tossed it into the far corner of the basement on my last day there being that my housemates(my scumbag sister and her b/f)were pack rats and litterally drove me out of the house with their junk piled from the floor to the ceiling i bet that smelled pretty nifty after a week or so hehehe |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 19,2004 9:57am - Siberian ""] Badass!! A friend of mine did a similar thing with a roast (a good 30 lb roast at that), but he left it under the front porch, he moved out in July so you could only imagine how much stench and how many rodents that thing attracted. Just a little pay back to a shitty slum lord. |
| ____________________________________ [Jul 19,2004 10:00am - SUBJUGATE ""] food as a weapon hahahahahahaha |
| ______________________________________ [Jul 19,2004 11:37am - 3rd_Knuckle ""] my brother-in-law was kicked out of a house in harwichport, so he left an open can of cat food under the beds of each of his ex-roomies |
| ____________________________________ [Jul 19,2004 11:51am - SUBJUGATE ""] nice |
| ____________________________________ [Jul 19,2004 11:54am - Dissector ""] I thought this thread was gonna be about the tv show Degrassi. Some kids in that show have a band called Hell Hath No Fury. |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 19,2004 12:17pm - powerkok ""] the real question is, could a few shrimp tails filled with caviar, really stink up a house that bad? I dont know how realistic that is, but hey u never know.... but heres a good one: find a victim u hate. if u have access to their home/car this will be easy, if u dont, its illegal. carefully break a 100w light bulb so u dont disturb the filament. ucan use a dome light if youre rigging a car. get a pleated sandwich bag and fill it with poop. (paint works too) place a pack, or a single larger firecracker in the bag of poop. thumb tack the bag around the light, so the fuse of the fire cracker is touching the undisturbed filament. you need air in there so dont pack it too tight with poop. leave. dont go back. when the victim goes home, he/she will eventually turn on the light, igniting the poop bag melee, and showering fecal matter all over. |
| _____________________________________ [Jul 19,2004 12:21pm - iamwiggins ""] hahahaha degrassi |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 19,2004 1:17pm - Dissector ""] Ever see that show? Its hilarious haha. |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 19,2004 2:06pm - Siberian ""] Considering what cavier is I'm sure it would stink pretty bad after a few days at room temperature. My question is this, I recently bought a house and one requirement of the sellers is that all window treatments must remain in place, all curtains, hanging rods and other blinds must stay in place, that's a real estate law (not sure if it differs from state to state though). |
| ____________________________________ [Jul 19,2004 2:17pm - MyDeadDoll ""] i'm sure it is different in every state... too bad i neer thought of anything like this when i left my old shitty ass apartment... |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 19,2004 2:59pm - Siberian ""] Rule is, when leaving on bad terms, always try to make them worse! |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 19,2004 4:42pm - Bradness ""] my old band moved out of our overpriced lame rehearsal place in Hanson a few years ago. We put cat food and tuna fish in the vents and pissed on the wallboard heaters it smelled pretty bad from what i hear |