Attention Marge Simpson, your son has been arrested.[views:8018][posts:80]__________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 7:19pm - Dankill ""] YOU ARE NOW DEAF |
| _______________________________ [Jul 16,2008 8:19pm - Pires ""] FBI Agent- "When I tap your foot, and I say hello Mr. Thompson, you nod. Hello Mr. Thompson." Homer(perplexed, and whispers to FBI Agent #2)- "I think he's talking to you." ------------------------------------------------------------------ Homer- "Lisa, am I wearing pants?!" ------------------------------------------------------------------ Loudspeaker at the Power Plant-"The following employees have been fired. Simpson, Homer. That is all." ------------------------------------------------------------------ Homer-"MMMMMM, Gummy venus. *drools* ------------------------------------------------------------------ Bart-"Who the hell names their kid Bort?" Mother-"Get over here Bort." Guy-"Were you talking to me?" Mother-"No, my son is also named Bort!" Later, when Homer and Bart are going through the detention center: Guard-"ATTENTION! We are OUT of Bort license plates! I repeat, we are OUT of Bort license plates!" ----------------------------------------------------------------- I really could go on all day. Great thread! |
| __________________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 9:05pm - fuck logging in ""] I want to see my face in that horse's ass. |
| ___________________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 10:06pm - DaveFromTheGrave ""] Do you hold a grudge against Montgomery Burns? Moe: No. [buzz] Moe: All right, maybe I did. But I didn't shoot him. [ding] Eddie: Checks out. Okay, sir. You're free to go. Moe: Good, 'cause I got a hot date tonight. [buzz] Moe: A date. [buzz] Moe: Dinner with friends. [buzz] Moe: Dinner alone. [buzz] Moe: Watching TV alone. [buzz] Moe: All right! I'm going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog. [buzz] Moe: Sears catalog. [ding] Moe: Now would you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment. [buzz] |
| ________________________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 10:33pm - IllinoisEnemaBradness ""] i'll have these babies on the market while he's still grappling with the pickle matrix, GOIVIN GLAVIN! |
| ____________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 11:28pm - demondave ""] [img] |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 16,2008 11:57pm - Dankill ""] Bart: Otto, you gotta do something! There's a gremlin on the side of the bus! Otto: (Otto spots Hans Moleman driving an AMC Gremlin in the next lane) Eh, no problemo, Bart dude. I'll get rid of it. (Otto rams Molemen off the road) Moleman: Oh, I only had two more payments left. (Car hits tree and blows up) |
| ___________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 12:12am - Dankill ""] Otto: "What am I smoking? Oh yeah... pot" Fat Tony: You guys have blundered into our secret tobacky patch. Lenny: Wow! Is that wacky tobacky? Fat Tony: The wackiest. Wiggum: "All our founding fathers, astronauts, and World Series heroes have been either drunk or on cocaine." Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand? Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up) Homer: There's your giraffe, little girl. Ralph Wiggum: I'm a boy. Homer: That's the spirit. Never give up. Ralph: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers! Homer: Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug were the drugs. Bart: b-6 Homer: you sunk my scrabbleship! Lisa: this game makes no sense. Homer: tell that to the good men who just lost their lives... SEMPER-FI! Marge: This is the worst thing you've ever done. Homer: You say that so often that it lost its meaning. Homer: Okay Marge, its your child against my child. The winner will be showered with praise. The loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore. Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive? Marge: Homer, is this how you pictured married life? Homer: Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries. Homer: I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead. Bart: I am through with working. Working is for chumps. Homer: Son, I'm proud of you! I was twice your age when I figured that out. |
| _______________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 6:43am - lsd shroomer ""] Nelson: Your manager says to shut up! Robert Goulet: Vera said that? |
| ________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 8:13am - xmikex ""] Marge, do you have other men in the house? Radioactive men?? |
| _______________________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 8:35am - IllinoisEnemaBradness ""] what did i tell you, about the SKOOching! |
| _________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 8:59am - oscarct ""] "I accidently ran over his dog" "Really?" "yeah, but replace the word accidently with repeately and the word dog with son" |
| _________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 9:44am - c.DeAd ""] Homer-"Otto spelled backwards, is Otto, haha." Otto-"Now I'm scared." |
| _______________________________ [Jul 17,2008 9:46am - aril ""] Ralph: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers! hahahaha I forgot about that |
| _________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 9:48am - c.DeAd ""] Lisa-"Well you're gay for Moleman!" Bart-"No, you're gay for Moleman!" Moleman-"No one's gay for moleman." |
| _________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 10:15am - xmikex ""] Well I have some news for you sir..... something that may shock and discredit you.............I'M NOT WEARING A TIE |
| _______________________________ [Jul 17,2008 10:34am - Yeti ""] Homer i don't want you stalking anymore. its so illegal. where are you going? i'm going outside to......stalk....Lenny and Karl. |
| _______________________________ [Jul 17,2008 10:34am - Yeti ""] Lenny and...........Karl dah nuts. i mean.....dah nuts. |
| _________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 11:12am - xmikex ""] Every muscle in my body is gettin a workout... especially my big fat mouth! |
| ________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 11:53am - aril ""] Krusty: A man walks into a bar with a tiny piano and a ten inch pianist. |
| _______________________________ [Jul 17,2008 12:45pm - Yeti ""] lets just say it moved me...TO A BIGGER HOUSE! uuuh i said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet. |
| _________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 12:47pm - xmikex ""] Ahoy hoy! |
| _________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 1:06pm - RustyPS ""] Homer; It feels good to tell the truth........no, I'm lying again, it feels baaad |
| ______________________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 2:53pm - BobNOMAAMRooney nli ""] See, I got this friend named... Joey Jo Jo... Junior... Shabadoo. |
| ______________________________ [Jul 17,2008 3:16pm - Yeti ""] thats the worst name i've ever heard. JOEY JO JO! |
| ______________________________ [Jul 17,2008 3:17pm - Yeti ""] Marge do you think i'm stupid? ................................................no ok! wait a minute, why did it take you so long to answer? ....................................................no reason ok! wait a minute, are you humoring me? .............................yes ok! wait a minute, thats bad! |
| __________________________________ [Jul 17,2008 8:00pm - Dankill ""] aril said:Ralph: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers! hahahaha I forgot about that Hahaha, yeah, I had to drag that one out. One of my all-time favs. |
| _______________________________ [Jul 18,2008 10:42am - Yeti ""] "man i could really go for a hot dog" "Homer this is a cemetery" "HOT DOGS! GET YOUR HOT DOGS HERE!" "do you just follow my husband around?" "lady he's putting my kids through college" |
| _____________________________________ [Jul 18,2008 11:09am - anonymous ""] so i said to him, listen buddy...your car was upside down when we got here..and as for your grandma, she shouldn't have mouthed off like that. |
| _________________________________ [Jul 18,2008 11:18am - xmikex ""] The new issue of Gigantic Asses is in. |
| _______________________________ [Jul 18,2008 12:44pm - Yeti ""] hahahahahahahahahahaha i can hear Apu's voice saying "Gigantic Asses". yeah give me a large box of condoms, a bottle of Old Harper, a panty shield, someillegalfireworks aaaand, one of those disposable enemas. eh better make it two. i'm sorry sir but the sale of fireworks is illegal in- follow me. |