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[QUOTE]blah blah blah[/QUOTE] to reply to DestroyYouAlot.
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[QUOTE="DestroyYouAlot:886570"]AN INTERVIEW WITH THE BERZERKER GRANDMASTER This is an interview with the last BERZERKER™ Viking Fighting Supreme Grandmaster and Inheritor of the Horned Helmet, Grandmaster Sven S. Svensson. The interview was conducted by Leif "Mad Moose" Svensson in January, 2005. Leif "Mad Moose" Svensson (LS): Hello, Grandmaster Sven! Grandmaster Sven S. Svensson (SS): Hello everybody – and Hail Thor! LS: First of all, thank you so much for letting us interview you! Could you please start by telling us a little about the BERZERKER™ Viking Fighting Arts? What is it exactly? SS: No problem! BERZERKER™ Viking Fighting is the best combat system in the world! I don't think there's any other martial art or combat system more violent and brutally effective than Viking Fighting. The system comes directly from the ancient Scandinavian Viking Berzerkers and it covers both armed and unarmed fighting. It's a complete system – and it teaches you to win in ANY situation and against ANY opponent! LS: That sounds great! What are the basic ideas and principles behind the system? SS: Viking Fighting is basically a very, very violent and very, very dirty style of fighting. The core principles are violence, ruthlessness, surprise, anger, cheating, deception, brutality and pre-emptive action. Everything we do is based on the old Viking saying that "it's better to stand and fight because if you run, you'll only die tired". LS: OK. What exactly does that mean? SS: That we don't run... And that we stand and fight. Viking Fighting is 70% attack, 25% counter-attack, and maybe 15% defense. My old father, Thor Svensson, used to say that "defense is what happens when you're about to die". This is very true! The BERZERKER™ mentality is to attack the attacker, kill the killer, mug the mugger, and rape the rapist – so to speak. LS: So, what categories are taught in the BERZERKER™ Viking Fighting system? SS: Well, students usually start by learning the warhammer curriculum, because this also teaches you a lot about the principles behind the Viking Fighting Arts. It teaches you the correct body mechanics and the right BERZERKER™ mentality. In parallel with this, you also do a lot of unarmed training, what we usually call "Viking Combatives". You know, punching, kicking, throwing, grappling, breaking bones, biting, headbutting etcetera, etcetera. Later on, you learn how to use knives, blades and throwing weapons, and sticks and swords. And we do a lot of training with improvised weapons. A lot! LS: Improvised weapons? What is that exactly? SS: Improvised weapons are common objects that you use as weapons. Golf clubs, pencils, belts, coins, mobile phones, hats, bandanas, chains... You name it. If you knew what I could do to you with a frozen carrot, you'd be very afraid right now. By the way, I almost forgot to mention that we also study a lot of fight psychology in the BERZERKER™ arts. You know, the psychological aspects of combat, like fear, stress, panic, anger and frenzy. And we also do a lot of training in battlefield and raiding tactics. LS: Battlefield and raiding tactics? When would that be useful in today's modern world? SS: All the time! Trust me. Have you never seen a riot or a gang of soccer hooligans at work? Have you never seen a fight between two gangs? And have you never wanted to bring your friends to beat someone up? Raiding tactics is all about beating people up together with your friends. Hmmm... Maybe that came out a little wrong. Hahaha... Well, you know what I mean! LS: Yes, OK. Speaking of beating people up – you say you can defeat anyone with BERZERKER™ Viking Fighting. Do you really think you can beat any of the professional fighters in the UFC, Pride and K1? SS: Yes – by Thor! Those guys are just pretty boys in spandex hot pants... They don't know anything about real combat!! In the old days, the berzerkers used to rape guys like that just for fun... I'm joking, but what I really mean is – when was the last time you were attacked by someone dressed in hot pants, wearing leather gloves? And I'm not talking about your wife here! Hahaha... LS: Well, it hasn't happened yet. So how would you fight a UFC fighter then? SS: On the street, I'd smash his head in with my warhammer. Or maybe just have my friends surround him and then windmill and stomp him to death. In a ring, I would cheat. You know – eye gouge, fish hook, hit the throat, bite the groin, stuff like that. A lot of people say that biting doesn't work in combat. Well, ask them again after I've bitten their nuts off! The Vikings used biting a lot – and trust me, it works! I'd also do a lot of "psychological" stuff. You know – simple mind tricks and "psyching". Fighting him mentally... LS: You do a lot of training with weapons, like knives, sticks and projectiles. What do you think about the other weapons-based martial arts out there, for example the Filipino fighting systems? SS: My friend – the only reason the Filipino systems are alive today is because the Vikings never went to the Philippines in the old days. Otherwise they would've been extinct! Don't get me wrong, I've seen some very impressive Filipino stuff out there, but mostly it's just a lot of useless stick twirling! You know, just like those cheerleading girls... LS: And what about the Japanese styles, such as Ninjutsu or kendo? SS: Well, the ninjutsu guys I've seen here in Scandinavia probably couldn't even fight their way out of a wet paper bag if their lives depended on it. I like their black pyjamas, though... They look really comfy. Hahaha... But there are some very good ninja guys out there. A very good friend of mine in the United States – we call him "Black Sheep Ninja" – is very, very good! He's also a BERZERKER™ practitioner, by the way. And what can I say about kendo? Well, nothing good... If I ever get attacked by a screaming guy dressed in a skirt and swinging a bamboo stick, I'll take his head clean off with my warhammer - before he even has time to say "bonsai". LS: OK. And the Chinese weapon styles? SS: Man, don't even get me started... The only useful thing invented in China is probably the spring roll. And gunpowder, of course. LS: You don't seem to think too highly of the other martial arts out there. Is there ANY art – except Viking Fighting – that you actually like? SS: No, not really... Well, maybe tae kwon do... I like the fact that they’re training so hard to become losers. You know, training how to lose a fight as quickly as possible. That makes it much easier for me, if I ever have to fight one of those clowns. Hahaha... LS: OK. Could you instead tell us a little about your "modernization" of the Viking Fighting Arts. I'm primarily thinking of your two new courses – the "Tactical Warhammer" and the "Rape the Rapist" course. SS: Yes. Well, my old father and I have spent a lot of time modernizing the Viking Fighting Arts curriculum – basically adding and updating material for the 21st century. Don't get me wrong, though. Most of the techniques, tactics, strategies and principles in Viking Fighting are timeless. They are the same today as they were in the Viking Age. But some things have changed, obviously. Today we have firearms, we have a police force that can't use "excessive force", we have a need for so-called "rape prevention" etcetera, etcetera. To meet these demands, we had to update and modernize the system and add a couple of new modules to the curriculum. The "Tactical Warhammer" and the "Rape the Rapist" are two of the new modules. "Viking Gun Fighting", "Viking Gun Defense" and "Mug the Mugger" are also new. My father also introduced a "Tactical Spear" course, but, unfortunately, the interest hasn't been that great for that course. It's very good, though. LS: So tell us a little about the "Tactical Warhammer" module? You’ve been very busy teaching this module at seminars lately. What is it exactly? SS: The "Tactical Warhammer" curriculum is a modernized version of our warhammer and battle axe curriculum specifically aimed at law enforcement, correctional facilities and the military. It teaches you how to use a warhammer – or a sledgehammer, hammer or even a short golf club – for self-defense and for tactical purposes. In Viking Fighting we have a saying that "there's no such thing as excessive force". Excessive force is a good thing! But, unfortunately, we can't teach this to law enforcement officers and security guards. Well, at least not here in Sweden... But you should've seen some of the stuff my father taught to the Iraqi Police force in the eighties! Don't tell Amnesty International about it, but that stuff was pretty damned brutal. If the Swedish police force got that kind of training, then we'd have no crime whatsover! Well, anyway, for the more civilized parts of the world, we've designed a "friendlier" version of our warhammer course, where we have limited the amount of force used. It is also specifically designed with law enforcement scenarios in mind. You know, things like riot control, handcuffing, defending against the knife etcetera, etcetera. LS: OK. That sounds like an awesome course! Well, thank you for letting us talk to you, Grandmaster Sven! SS: I'd just like to say a few words about our "Rape the Rapist" program too, if I may. LS: Please do. SS: The "Rape the Rapist" course is probably the best rape prevention course in the world today. At least I've never seen anything better. It's based on the BERZERKER™ concept to "attack the attacker" – hence the name – and, by Thor, it's pretty damned hardcore! I actually feel sorry for any rapist who'd experience the stuff we teach in this module! You know, we've included a lot of eye gouging, biting, finger breaking, fish hooking in this course. And a lot of improvised weapons too. You know, it's pretty damned difficult to rape someone when your nuts have just been skewered by a pencil... That's a pretty strong turn-off in my world – even for a Viking! Hahaha... People often say that "to teach knife defense, you must first know how to use a knife". It's the same with rape; to defeat the rapist, you must first learn to think and act like a rapist. And if you know anything about the Vikings you know that they did A LOT of raping and pillaging in the old days. This is, of course, not something we're proud of - but now we've been able to turn this into something good. So, any woman – or man, for that matter – who worries about getting raped, come to our seminars or buy our forthcoming DVD! You'll never be afraid of rape again. You can put that in your Viking pipe and smoke it! Hahaha... LS: OK. Thank you very much for the interview, Grandmaster Sven! Now we know a little more about the BERZERKER™ Viking Fighting Arts. SS: Thank you, my BERZERKER™ friend! I hope to see you all at my next seminar! And Hail Thor! To contact Grandmaster Sven S. Svensson, please mail us! [/QUOTE]
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