RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES
[views:49054][posts:149]___________________________________________________
[Mar 6,2008 2:00pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES. MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T SPEND SO MUCH TIME ON LINE MAKING FUN OF BANDS THAT WORK HARD AND PUT EFFORT INTO WHAT THEY DO THEN YOUR BAND WOULD BE IN GUITAR WORLD TOO. DON'T TALK SHIT JUST TO TALK SHIT WHEN PEOPLE PUT SO MUCH WORK INTO THEIR SONGS. IF YOUR SHIT BAND GOT INTO GUITAR WORLD YOUD BE POSTING IT ON HERE TOO. AND IF I MADE FUN OF IT I WOULD GET MADE FUN OF CAUSE YOU GUYS THINK YOURE THE ONLY SCENE IN MASSACHUSETTS WELL GUESS WHAT NO ONE IN THE REAL SCENE WANTS ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU ASSHOLES. SO BACK OFF OR THERES PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
[Mar 6,2008 2:01pm - BobNOMAAMRooney nli ""]
Fag
[Mar 6,2008 2:01pm - SkinSandwich ""]
You need to loosen up. Like I said in an earlier thread, I am going on tour in the south sniffing roller coaster seats. You should tag along.
[Mar 6,2008 2:01pm - diarrhea_blumps nli ""]
my balls itch right now
[Mar 6,2008 2:05pm - contagion ""]
i cant tell if this is a joke or not
[Mar 6,2008 2:06pm - RichHorror ""]
LAFF IT UP FUNBOYS
[Mar 6,2008 2:06pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
TYPICAL IGNORANT RESPONSE FROM THE IGNORANT CLOSE MINDED DICKS ON RTTP. GO LOOK AT MORE PICTURES OF SWEATY DUDES AND THEN RESPOND WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING WORTHY TO SAY.
[Mar 6,2008 2:07pm - diarrhea_blumps nli ""]
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said: RESPOND WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING WORTHY TO SAY.
pigs can orgasm for up to 30 minutes....
[Mar 6,2008 2:07pm - pam nli ""]
Awesome.
[Mar 6,2008 2:08pm - RichHorror ""]
diarrhea_blumps%20nli said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said: RESPOND WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING WORTHY TO SAY.
pigs can orgasm for up to 30 minutes....
The diamond is the hardest substance known to man.
[Mar 6,2008 2:08pm - kadooganism ""]
diarrhea_blumps%20nli said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said: RESPOND WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING WORTHY TO SAY.
pigs can orgasm for up to 30 minutes....
No wonder bacon is so delicious.
[Mar 6,2008 2:09pm - diarrhea_blumps nli ""]
girls have penis's and boys have vaginas
[Mar 6,2008 2:09pm - SkinSandwich ""]
Coca-Cola would be green if colouring weren’t added to it.
[Mar 6,2008 2:10pm - contagion ""]
kadooganism said:
diarrhea_blumps%20nli said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said: RESPOND WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING WORTHY TO SAY.
pigs can orgasm for up to 30 minutes....
No wonder bacon is so delicious.win
[Mar 6,2008 2:11pm - SkinSandwich ""]
You can't kill yourself by holding your breath
[Mar 6,2008 2:11pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
NO One on here is man enough to say anything? You all talk shit and then spit bullshit when you get called out on it.
[Mar 6,2008 2:13pm - contagion ""]
..fuck you?
[Mar 6,2008 2:13pm - SkinSandwich ""]
I'm sorry, I did not read your post as it was all in gay caps.
Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian
[Mar 6,2008 2:14pm - the_reverend ""]
TAMPONS DOODOOHEAD DIARRHEA SODAPOP.
[Mar 6,2008 2:15pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
At least Bob Rooney has the balls to use his real name. Too bad none of you are untouchable, none of you. The internet only hides you for so long.
[Mar 6,2008 2:16pm - RichHorror ""]
FLASH
AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
[Mar 6,2008 2:16pm - the_reverend ""]
I AM SOFA KING RETARDED!
[Mar 6,2008 2:16pm - contagion ""]
i love when people get all uppidy about people posting shit and not being man enough to do shit in real life ON THE INTERNET. the irony is thicker than rosie odonnel's lesbian diarrhea.
shut up fag or YOU do something.
[Mar 6,2008 2:17pm - brian_dc ""]
Creed was a rock band from Tallahassee, Florida that became popular in the late 1990s and early 2000s. The band won a Grammy Award for Best Rock Song for the song "With Arms Wide Open" in 2001. The band broke up in 2004 after three multiplatinum albums.
Creed originally came together in Tallahassee, Florida in 1993 as Naked Toddler when Scott Stapp and guitarists Mark Tremonti and Brian Brasher, college friends, got together and started collaborating and writing songs. They soon added bassist Brian Marshall and drummer Scott Phillips. Brian Marshall came up with the band name "Creed", taken from the name of his former band, Mattox Creed.[citation needed]
Once the band was complete as a 5 piece in late 1993, (Scott Stapp, Mark Tremonti, Brian Brasher, Brian Marshall and Scott Phillips) the band was soon dominating the Tallahassee local music scene and was one of the only local bands playing all original music in a town where club owners wanted local bands to play cover songs and music that people know. The 5 members had already written and collaborated (3) three of the songs that would go on to become chart topping singles on their debut album "My Own Prison". The songs were "One", "Sister" and "What's this Life For".
They then found work at a live music bar, where they impressed promoter Jeff Hanson and Andy Levine enough to let them play at one of their bigger venues known as Floyd's Music Store on the Tennessee Street Strip in Tallahassee. Hanson and Levine liked the band so much that he convinced producer John Kurzweg to record the band.
Their debut album My Own Prison was independently released and only cost them $6,000 to produce, and distributed to Florida radio stations. This drew the attention of several labels that agreed to see the band, only to pass. Rejected, Creed was playing a small gig when Diana Meltzer from Wind-Up Records heard the group. She had heard their independent album, and after hearing them live, signed the band to her label. After a remix to make it more radio friendly, My Own Prison was re-released by Wind-up Records across the country. The album was a surprise success, reaching the Top 40 on the Billboard Top 200, and spinning off several singles ("My Own Prison," "Torn," "What's This Life For," and "One") that topped the rock radio charts. The band's hit song "My Own Prison" was also featured as a live performance on the charity album Live in the X Lounge.
Their second album, Human Clay, was released in 1999 and debuted on the Billboard 200 album chart at number one, based on the strength of its first single, "Higher", which spent several weeks on the top of the rock radio charts. It wasn't until early 2000 that the single crossed over onto pop radio going to the Top Ten on the Billboard Pop Chart, and Creed became a household name. Its follow-up, "With Arms Wide Open," also hit number one that fall.
Meanwhile, Brian Marshall particularly offended many fans when he criticized Pearl Jam on a Seattle radio station (KNDD). He was soon kicked out of the band, and Brett Hestla (Virgos Merlot, Dark New Day) took over on the Human Clay tour, and subsequent tours. Around that time, Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit bad-mouthed Stapp at New York's Krock 92.3 "Dysfunctional Family Picnic Concert" where they were both performing. In response to this, Scott Stapp invited Fred Durst to an open boxing match which Durst declined.[1]
In the fall of 2001, "My Sacrifice", the first single off of Creed's last album Weathered, was used in a series of promotional tribute videos made by World Wrestling Entertainment. They also had "Young Grow Old," a B-side to the 1999 release Human Clay, featured as the official theme song for World Wrestling Entertainment WWE's Backlash pay-per-view event in April 2002. In early 2002, "Bullets" was released as a single, along with a costly, special effects-laden video. The song and video were possibly Creed's least successful since achieving mainstream success. However, Creed rebounded quickly, with one of the summer's biggest hits, "One Last Breath". Camp left the band in 2001, and Stapp replaced him.
Stapp was involved in a car accident in April 2002 and it had seemed that the tour that they had planned was not going to happen. However, Stapp recovered in time to appear in the last few shows. "Don't Stop Dancing" was a minor hit for Creed in late 2002/early 2003.
In June 2004,Creed broke up, and Stapp began recording a solo album, The Great Divide with Roadrunner Records recording artist Goneblind. The other band members (including former bassist Brian Marshall) formed a new band, Alter Bridge, with Myles Kennedy. Touring bassist Brett Hestla has since joined the band Dark New Day. On November 22nd, 2004 they released their Greatest Hits.
Since Creed's disbanding, many fans have been waiting for a reunion. The three members currently involved in Alter Bridge have stated that Creed is solely in their past, and will not reunite any time in the future. Stapp had at times left the door open to reunite with his former band members, yet his recent claims reflect only that Creed is in the past.
Despite the band's continual dismissals of the label, Creed is sometimes labeled Christian rock due to the fact all three albums focus on questions of faith, Christianity, and eternity. The band was never signed to a Contemporary Christian music label, nor did it perform in Christian Music venues or get any widespread regular play on Christian Radio. However, the word creed itself (also the band's namesake), denotes a popularly Christian theological concept, of absolute individual belief, usually monotheistic. Also, themes within their musical titles such as Human Clay, My Sacrifice and Arms Wide Open contain allusion to Christian theology.
Creed was sued in 2003 by four concert goers who claimed Scott Stapp "was so intoxicated and/or medicated that he was unable to sing the lyrics of a single Creed song" at a December 29, 2002 concert in Chicago. The lawsuit was later dismissed and the concert goers who filed the suit were mocked in a Daily Show segment conducted by Rob Corddry.
For many years, Creed collaborated with World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) by allowing many of their songs to be played for promotions (such as a song being the soundtrack for a pay per view). In 2001, when WWE began airing videos highlighting many different wrestlers' careers as well as video highlights of the rigors of the road for wrestlers, a Creed song almost always was the background music; "My Sacrifice" being the most-used song. Even following the breakup of Creed, Scott Stapp and Alter Bridge have both contributed music to WWE.
* Scott Stapp - Vocals
* Brian Brasher - Guitar, backing vocals (departed in 1996)
* Mark Tremonti - Guitar, vocals, bass guitar on Weathered
* Scott Phillips - Drums, percussion, keyboards
* Brian Marshall (departed in 2000) - Bass guitar
[edit] Touring members
* Brett Hestla - Bass guitar (Touring member after the departure of Brian Marshall)
Albums
Album information
My Own Prison
* Released: August 26, 1997
* Label: Wind-Up Records
* Chart Positions:
#22 (Billboard 200)
#1 (Heatseekers)
* RIAA Certification: 6× Platinum
* Singles:
1. "My Own Prison"
2. "One"
3. "Torn"
4. "What's This Life For"
Album information
Human Clay
* Released: September 28, 1999
* Label: Wind-Up Records
* Chart Positions:
#1 (Billboard 200)
#29 (U.K. Albums Chart)
* RIAA Certification: 11× Platinum
* Singles:
1. " Higher"
2. "With Arms Wide Open"
3. "What If"
4. "Are You Ready?"
Album information
Weathered
* Released: November 20, 2001
* Label: Wind-Up Records
* Chart Positions:
#1 (Billboard 200)
#44 (U.K. Albums Chart)
* RIAA Certification: 6× Platinum
* Singles:
1. "My Sacrifice"
2. "Don't Stop Dancing"
3. "Weathered"
4. "Bullets"
5. "One Last Breath"
Album information
Greatest Hits
* Released: November 22, 2004
* Label: Wind-Up Records
* Chart Positions:
#15 (Billboard 200)
* RIAA Certification: Platinum
[edit] Singles
Year Title Chart positions Album
US Hot 100 US Modern Rock US Mainstream Rock UK Singles Chart
1997 "My Own Prison" - #7 #2 - My Own Prison
1997 "What's This Life For" - #10 #1 (6 Weeks) - My Own Prison
1998 "Torn" - - #3 - My Own Prison
1999 "One" #70 #2 #2 - My Own Prison
1999 "Higher" #7 #1 (3 Weeks) #1 (17 Weeks) #47 Human Clay
2000 "With Arms Wide Open" #1 (1 Week) #2 #1 (4 Weeks) #13 Human Clay
2000 "What If" - #15 #3 - Human Clay
2000 "Are You Ready?" - #37 #4 - Human Clay
2001 "Riders On The Storm" - - #28 -
1999 "Higher" (re-issue) - - - #64 Human Clay
2001 "My Sacrifice" #4 #2 #1 (9 Weeks) #18 Weathered
2002 "Bullets" - #27 #11 - Weathered
2002 "Hide" - - - - Weathered
2002 "One Last Breath" #6 #17 #5 - Weathered
2002 "One Last Breath" / "Bullets" - - - #47 Weathered
2002 "Don't Stop Dancing" - - - - Weathered
2002 "Weathered" - #30 #7 - Weathered
Billboard's Artist Chart History[1]
[edit] Milestones
[edit] Album sales
* All three studio albums released went multi-platinum.
* My Own Prison went 6× platinum in the US.
* Human Clay went 11× platinum in the US.
* Weathered went 6× platinum in the US.
* The Greatest Hits went platinum in the US.
* My Own Prison, Human Clay, and Weathered are on the list of the top 100 selling albums of all time in the US. [2]
* Creed has sold 30 million albums in the US, making them one of the top selling artists ever in the US.
[edit] In popular culture
* The song "What If" (Creed song) appeared in the Scream 3 soundtrack
* The song "Higher" was played in the theatrical trailers for Titan A.E., but the song did not appear either in the movie or on the soundtrack
* The song "What's This Life For" was in the Halloween H20: 20 Years Later soundtrack
* The song "Who's Got My Back?" appeared in the video game NHL 2003
* The song "Higher" was in the movie The Skulls
* The song "Bound & Tied" was featured in the Dragon Ball Z Movie Return of Cooler
* Creed and Robby Krieger did a song "Roadhouse Blues" for the Woodstock 1999 (album)
* The song "Wrong Way" was in the End of Days soundtrack
* The song "One Last Breath" appeared in the movie See No Evil
* The song "Pity For A Dime" was in Jailbait!
* The song "Stand Here With Me" featured in the video game Project Gotham Racing 4
* The song "My Own Prision" appeared in the movie A Man Apart
* The song "Bullets" was featured in the video game MechAssault 2: Lone Wolf
[edit] Records and accomplishments
* The song "Higher" topped the Billboard Mainstream Rock charts for 18 weeks, a record.
* Their album Weathered debuted at #1 on the Billboard charts and stayed there for eight weeks, a record which they share with The Beatles.
* The video for "With Arms Wide Open" is declared the 92nd greatest video ever by VH1.
[edit] Awards
* Billboard 'Rock Artist of the Year' (1998)
* Billboard 'Rock Artist of the Year' (1999)
* Billboard 'Rock Artist of the Year' (2000)
* Mawn Bawnd of All Time - Infinity A.D.
* Grammy for Best Rock Song "With Arms Wide Open" (2001)
* Radio Music Award for 'Rock Song of the Year' - "With Arms Wide Open" (2000)
* Radio Music Award for 'Rock Group of the Year' (2000)
* VH1 award – 'Welcome To The Big Time' (Best Newcomer) (2000)
* VH1 award – '2 for 2' (2 hit albums in a row) (2000)
* VH1 award – 'Group of the Year' (2000)
* VH1 award – 'Song of the Year' – "Higher" (2000)
* American Music award – 'Favorite Pop Album' (Human Clay) (2001)
* American Music award – 'Favorite Alternative Artist' (2001)
* American Music award – 'Favorite Alternative Artist' (2003)
* American Music award – 'Favorite Pop/Rock band/Duo/Group' (2003)
* People’s Choice award for 'Favorite Group' (2003)
* Billboard Catalog 'Artist of the Year' (2001)
* Billboard Catalog 'Album of the Year' (2001)
* Billboard 'Rock Track of the Year'- "One" (1999)
* Billboard 'Duo/Group of the Year' (2002)
* Catalog 'Artist of the Year' (2002)
* Catalog 'Album of the Year' (2002)
* VH1 Award – 'Album of the Year' (2002)
* NARM Awards – 'Best Selling Rock Records' – Human Clay album (2001)
* NARM awards – 'Best Selling Chart-making Recordings – Human Clay (2001)
[edit] References
1. ^ Rosen, Craig. "Creed's Stapp To Limp Bizkit's Durst: Get In The Ring", 2000-07-14. Retrieved on 2007-01-10.
[Mar 6,2008 2:18pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
Oh good one Bob No Maam Rooney but either thats a coincedence or you're as big a pussy as the rest of this gay board.
[Mar 6,2008 2:18pm - brian_dc ""]
that's my way of calling this thread gay
fyi
[Mar 6,2008 2:19pm - largefreakatzero ""]
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:At least Bob Rooney has the balls to use his real name. Too bad none of you are untouchable, none of you. The internet only hides you for so long.
Hi, my name is Andy and I play guitar in Life at Zero. Your internet threats were so terrifying that I really had to think twice about posting, but golly, here I am.
[Mar 6,2008 2:20pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
Ae. Creed is the level you assholes could achieve if you spent more time working on songs and playing your instruments. At least Briandc has taste and doesn't talk shit.
[Mar 6,2008 2:21pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
oH WELL FUCK YOU TOO BRINA DC
[Mar 6,2008 2:21pm - brian_dc ""]
LOL
[Mar 6,2008 2:22pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
largefreakatzero said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:At least Bob Rooney has the balls to use his real name. Too bad none of you are untouchable, none of you. The internet only hides you for so long.
Hi, my name is Andy and I play guitar in Life at Zero. Your internet threats were so terrifying that I really had to think twice about posting, but golly, here I am.
I'm not retarded I can hear your sarcasm. Unless youre a fag who uses the word golly, but idk if any of you are THAT gay.
[Mar 6,2008 2:25pm - SkinSandwich ""]
On average, the Pentagon uses 666 rolls of toilet paper in one day
[Mar 6,2008 2:28pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
HAI GUYZ WUTS GOIN ON IN DIS THREAD?!!?@!?
[Mar 6,2008 2:28pm - contagion ""]
SkinSandwich said:On average, the Pentagon uses 666 rolls of toilet paper in one dayhillary clinton uses 616 tampons a month
[Mar 6,2008 2:29pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
I don't understand why you metalfags do it.
Listening to obscure shitty music (or should I say noise) does not make you cool. You aren't impressing anyone. Maybe you just get turned on when you hear twats grumble on the mic to the tune of their bandmates having seizures on guitars and rolling their faces around drumkits. An autistic child could make more intelligible music. At least mainstream music like 50 Cent has a beat so you can dance to it.
tl;dr FUCK METAL
[Mar 6,2008 2:30pm - SkinSandwich ""]
Alcoholic beverages have all 13 minerals necessary for human life
[Mar 6,2008 2:33pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
I thinbk Destroy a lot is kidding but if youre not than youre an asshole too. I like metal but if all it is are you shit talkers then maybe I'll side with you.
[Mar 6,2008 2:35pm - largefreakatzero ""]
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:
largefreakatzero said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:At least Bob Rooney has the balls to use his real name. Too bad none of you are untouchable, none of you. The internet only hides you for so long.
Hi, my name is Andy and I play guitar in Life at Zero. Your internet threats were so terrifying that I really had to think twice about posting, but golly, here I am.
I'm not retarded I can hear your sarcasm. Unless youre a fag who uses the word golly, but idk if any of you are THAT gay.
Fag, huh? You are welcome to come track me down anytime. I'm not that hard to find.
[Mar 6,2008 2:36pm - W3 nli ""]
YOU ARE TRUEBALL LICKERS AND THE ONES WHO WILL SNIFF CROTCHES LIKE DOGS, THE DOGS THAT YOU WILL DIE LIKE.
i love rttp, thank you aaron peepeeless
[Mar 6,2008 2:36pm - markfuckingrichards ""]
Are you really going to let a fucking internet messageboard that prides itself on being as sarcastic as possible bother you that much? No one is going to feel guilty for saying anything on here, no one will have regrets and everyone will laugh because you're actually letting this get to you so much. Way to threaten people on the internet over nothing. Take it with a grain of salt and get the sand out of your tender vagina. Nothing you say will hold any water on this website. You are out of your element. And if you want to be a bitch about it, expect to be made fun of anymore. My name is Mark Richards. I play guitar in Composted and Terminally Your Aborted Ghost. If you'd like to discuss this further over yes and crumpets, come to a show. And keep in mind, I didn't say shut about whatever band is in question here. Just letting you know that you're digging yourself into a very deep hole.
And a worthwhile fact: squirrels live an average of 1 year in the wild, but up to 20 in captivity.
[Mar 6,2008 2:37pm - largefreakatzero ""]
DestroyYouAlot said:I don't understand why you metalfags do it.
Listening to obscure shitty music (or should I say noise) does not make you cool. You aren't impressing anyone. Maybe you just get turned on when you hear twats grumble on the mic to the tune of their bandmates having seizures on guitars and rolling their faces around drumkits. An autistic child could make more intelligible music. At least mainstream music like 50 Cent has a beat so you can dance to it.
tl;dr FUCK METAL
Exactly!
[Mar 6,2008 2:40pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
it doesn't get to me that bad if you guys didn't get so pissy when its you on the receiving end of the trashing.The only hole I'm gonna dig is the grave for you and your faggy bandmates. Go shove dildoes in your ass again fag.
[Mar 6,2008 2:42pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
KoЯn
The Godfathers of Nu-Metal. Inspired by 80's metal. Now copied by a bunch of poser bands. Even Metallica, a METAL band, tried to copy their sound in St. Anger with sucked horribly but Metallica is still the greatest band. Korn is one of the few bands were are not completely controlled by the record producers.
And fuck, what the hell are you guys talking about. Only goths listen to Korn? Seriously. Quote They use "studio magic" to make it sound good at all. Have you been to a live show. The effects and vocals are all done themselves and sound exactly like the CD's
They were the first band to come out with that sound and were copied by crappy bands and put in a bunch of dumb categories and had lots of good songs and albums and are now bashed by a bunch of faggots.
They have lots of respect from bands in the metal scene and you guys should fuck off.
[Mar 6,2008 2:48pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
THAT'S IT I'M DONE FOR NOW BUT DONT TALK TOO MUCH SHIT BEFORE I GET BACK HAHA
[Mar 6,2008 2:49pm - ouchdrummer ""]
you can't be serious. Lighten up. I mean if you seriously think everyone on this board is so stupid why would you post here in the first place? And once you got made fun of, why did you reply with this thread? I mean, like you said "the real scene" wants nothing to do with us, so why do you care what we think.... by the way, my name is Jim Fitzpatrick and i played in the now defunct ouch. You stink like poop.
[Mar 6,2008 2:51pm - ouchdrummer ""]
by the way, you sound like the biggest whinney bitch on the planet right now.
[Mar 6,2008 2:51pm - brian_dc ""]
everyone here is genuinely upset about this. You've made us all feel bad and we're all going to quit now.
[Mar 6,2008 2:52pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
Rule # 551: I NEVER (except once, but even that they managed to leave out the worst bits) hear of any news of any crimes committed by USA by the American news media, unless I research it through google or/and watch the history channel, which even that they imply it but NEVER directly state it, else fear of reprisal from the Pentagon, as happened to CNN, for a decade, after Gulf War I. Most current example would be Iraqis INDIRECTLY telling the USA you can have our oil, but stop bombing us, as well as the internal religious & cultural strife between the 3 different ethnic groups, same as in Yugoslavia, where it was about mineral rights by USA companies rather than about oil, allowing USA to legitimize and legalize through UN the illegal aggression against a NON-threatening nation by USA, which the USA feeds on, the old tactic of divide & conquer they learned from Britain, which divided Iraq & Kuwait, which resulted in the Gulf War I & II, which is manifested in the so-called free elections, which legitimize USA aggression of taking over a sovereign country for its oil, which few seem to notice that the Gulf War I & II was about oil & the Euro, and it NOTHING to do with WMD, since the top Iraqi scientists had IQ of someone with an Associate degree in physics, which is enough to understand the basics, but NOT enough to build all the complex parts, why Iraq needed help from the French. Most commonly used tactic of trolls is to call (a) NON-troll(s) (a) troll(s), sort of like Capitalists were calling Communists evil, when both were same: what was happening was that 2 super trolls fighting each other for supremacy. And, Negative Energy is so powerful that it takes an entire society to stop a troll, sort of like 1 bad fruit can ruin all the good fruits in a basket. And, there seems to be levels of trolls, from the most vicious to the average: society seems to be infected with them, mostly average, which seem to be controlled by the few, who are most evil & vicious. The amount of Negative Energy it takes to control society or/and escape laws of society is proportional to amount of energy needed to bypass laws of physics, in what is commonly understood as the light barrier, escaping it allows FTL, time & dimensional travel, by excessively manipulating Negative Energy, which in the/this 2nd example: I don’t mean psychology, but in manner of accumulating science TL in similar way excess greed would accumulate wealth, power, resources, & fame, which where US(A) Presidents have a nasty habit of having ulterior evil motives for their so-called good deeds, some form of imperialism.
Rule # 550: There are 5 parts to this rule. Based on my Rule # 3 & Rule # 6, this: {(0,0) END} is a human, usually a male human, at least in this rpg HYBRID, since women are too complicated to make in my rpg, since creating women in my rpg requires politically incorrect math, but to return to what I was saying before I digressed, is as follows: although I’m using the {(x,y) END} from Champions/Hero to illustrate a point that being {(0,0) END} ought to be for a human, usually a male human, at least in rpg HYBRID. The variable (y) which in Champions/Hero is/was meant to define LS in terms of “END” @ some fraction that of default LS, which its C# depends on the character, better to use C2, since it will give greater LS or Life Span, but less C2 PL or Power Level, if the original C# had been C1 in terms of C2 before using the ˝ which will then @ C2 increase PL to 98 C2 which is NOT mutant power but what C2 value for IQ, which is NOT what IQ is @ 98, but IQ is 260 @ 98 C2, which is then reduced to get mutant power(s). If the original C# had been C1 rater than C2, #s for both being different of course, then LS @ C1 would be 10 rather than 20, if starting default LS or 0 END had been @ 20 C1, then PL would increase to 20x2 = 40 C1 rather than 49x2 = 98 C2, but LS or Life Span using C1 is ˝ the C2, meaning manipulating points @ C1, gives a 10 C1 LS rather than a 49/2 = 24.5 C2, which is a 15 C1 by X^LOG10(X), where 20 C1 = 49 C2 and 15 C1 = 24 C2, approximately. The ˝ is or was supposed to be ˝ of C2 for LS or Life Span, but somewhere along the line, it seems to have gotten mistranslated into ˝ END, @ -1 limitation for default Life Span, giving a +1 advantage for Power Level for the mutant, which coincidently is similar to the way it works in my rpg HYBRID, where I’d multiply default PL by 2x, reducing LS by 2x, by multiplying LS by ˝, allowing one to multiply PL by 2x, but it is difficult to explain why it’s similar, either coincidence or/and more than a coincidence, but then again, I was thinking about END in 1987, as its important in the scheme of things, that of MU TSR rpg which, later, I made it to be @ C2, for its health stat, which is usually @ C2, a conclusion I came up with in the 1990s, which is different from the Karma stats, which usually are @ C1, although Intuition can be @ C2 if poorly defined or/and if poorly used, but Intuition that of the MU mutant humanoid female character Destiny has her Intuition @ either C2 or C1, NOT sure, since it depends on how you interpret that female character, if she’s scamming you or/and if she’s for real, although even if she’s scamming her victims @ C2, she can be or/and still is very effective, and if her Intuition is @ C1 PL, then you can interpret that character as you like, although if her psychic powers is that of the MU Purple Man, then her Intuition is @ C2, rather than C1 PL, which is more like that of Dr Doom, before I even discovered to come up with a stat called LS or Life Span, which, for this example, is ˝ C2 of original default Life Span, in order to increase PL or Power Level by factor of 2x. The reason it has to be a limitation is for PL or Power Level to have an advantage, the LS or Life Span must take on the -1 limitation, which is ˝ C2 for Life Span, which original was @ 0 END or @ default, whatever value it was @ for that mutant. In Champions/Hero rpg, END (0, ˝) USUALLY APPLIES TO MUTANTS AND means that person starts @ 0, which is NOT a value of 0, but meaning default, THEN if the character is a mutant, but he must be a mutant in order for him to have the or/and be @ ˝, which is what his mutant power level will by @ after his IQ is reduced after his IQ is increased by +1 advantage, meaning his C2 will double or increase by factor of 2x, which is then reduced to ˝ advantage or ˝ limitation from his 2nd 0 END, which is his NEW PL after having his PL increased due to his LS or Life Span decreased, such for a character such as the MU Spiderman, allowing him to increase his PL or Power Level @ C2 by factor of 2x with advantage of +1, which @ C2 for IQ is increased to which must be decreased to have mutant power(s), the more he decreases his IQ, the more power(s) he gets, and NOTE that he already starts with a larger LS or Life Span than an average adult male human, allowing him to decrease his LS to human levels, which in turn will increase his PL, and since his PL is, also, greater than average adult male human, his PL will increase even more, with his LS decreased: this all can be reversed to apply for PL (rather than LS) @ C2 of ˝ its original value @ -1 limitation, which will increase LS by a factor of 2x which is +1 advantage, to increase LS @ C2 by factor of 2 by advantage of +1, which is NOT usually done, since mutants usually crave power(s) rather than longevity or/and longer life span: this is NOT the rule itself, but a little background information on what I’m about to say after my next comment, which will also serve as a little extra background information on what I’ll say later, in a brief moment, after this brief commentary to serve as a little background information on what I’ll say later so that it’s NOT taken out of context. NOTE that default has multiple values, depending on if it’s fixed or NOT, both can take on the concept/term of 0 END, which is term from Hero & its predecessor, Champions rpg: this is a side note & NOT the rule itself: a little background information. The Psyche stat for the MU character Dark Phoenix is within a range of 30 to 40 C1 Default Psyche, with Phoenix being @ 20 to 30 C1 DP, with Jean Grey’s powers @ 20 C1 DP, although she isn’t @ that, since her COM is that of a woman & NOT a guy, but getting back to what I was saying that being Dark Phoenix’s creator, Professor X is @ 49 or 50 C1 Default Psyche. The ’86 MU TSR rpg creates an interesting paradox with the MU character Dark Phoenix which is NOT what this rule is about but serves as background to what I’ll say later. The purpose of why the ’86 MU TSR rpg killed the Dark Phoenix off, temporarily, because she maximized her stats, lowering her Life Span to increase her Power Level, besides Xaiver NO longer wanting her give Jean Grey extra powers, where she was acting as herald for Xavier, similar to way Norinn Radd acted as herald for Galacuts, but getting back to what I was saying about the Dark Phoenix getting killed off temporarily because she maximized her stats, based on combination of 3 (three) things: [{X^LOG10(X) @ C1} for X @ C2], in conjunction with Rule # 3 & Rule # 6}, meaning her unusually high stats can be explained away with the/my original equation X^LOG10(X), using Rule # 3 & Rule # 6: this will serve as background to what I’m about to say. The purpose of my grandiose statement in Part II of this rule is NOT to reveal how pretentious I seem to be, but to reveal how all rpgs can be reduced to 2 recursive equations, like the 2 blades on a helicopter: major equation being X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X for point distribution & the minor equation being X^LN(X) for some of its properties @ C# for X, although you can define the properties, using the original X^LOG10(X), without having to rely on its minor sibling equation X^LN(X), and/but relying too heavily on X^LN(X) is NOT good idea, to rely too heavily on it, that is, since you might end up with similar problem if the equation had been instead X^2, since the X is based on the equation X^LOG10(X), which is the main equation for point distribution @ C#. This equation could just as well be written as X^2, as the recursive equation, instead, for point distribution, but X^2 would NOT give the correct point distribution used by the other rpgs, except @ LOG10(100), FOR EXPONENT, = 2, although it does give some interesting results to ponder, and/but if I were to use X^2, then I’d have to rewrite most of my rules: which I don’t want to, NOR feel like it, and besides it would move me away from my main objective which is to have a 1 page rpg, which can be done with Rule # 3 & Rule # 6, & the 2 simple recursive equations just mentioned above, X^LOG10(X) & X^LN(X) @ C# for X, for point distribution. The odd thing about Part 2 of this rule is that even my favorite colors which changed over time seem to reflect comic books characters, is an example of Maxwell’s equation of time travel. There are 4 parts to this rule. The DC character Spectre is an extreme version of the 2nd part of this rule, that being Maxwell’s equation of time travel, which in terms of MU is Captain Universe, when Spiderman was taken over by Captain Universe when he was taken to the micro-verse [subatomic universe of MU] by the subatomic MU character Fear, which is what’s to come in Part 2, but I didn’t supply an/any example, which is what I just said. For Part 1, then, the first modification to make to the Fibonacci # is TO add LOG10(% of accuracy of TL). But, even before that, one must NOTE THAT THE C# has properties similar to gravity, in that both are recursive, and using the Fibonacci series on C# doesn’t always give you the correct TL # @ that C# when computing TL based on C#, since taking root Y, based on some Fibonacci #, which has to be modified, but when C# is small, that modification isn’t too great NOR too complicated. And, just like laws of physics break down when gravity is too intense inside singularity, but @ same time within some universal set of physics, similarly, if one could figure out the correct modification to the Fibonacci # that one could apply to C# to figure out Y root of C#, he could figure TL, even with a large C#, which will eventually give an even larger C#, when # in C# is very large, but both my lat former & latter comment are different, regarding #, which are of 2 types, being (# C#), which might be said or/and written as (# @ C#), in which there are 2 types of #s. And, a value of 10 C in the ’86 MU TSR rpg is 10 C0, both being @ a unitless unit, where 10 is a neutral value, until, a proper unit is assigned, same with Champions / Hero, which have inconsistent units of magnitudes, similar mistake that the ’86 MU TSR rpg make, perhaps it used Maxwell’s time travel equation to steal my ideas from the future, since it, the ’86 MU TSR rpg lacks the proper unit of magnitude, the only way that can happen is if it’s stolen my ideas, unless it is intentionally keeping out the proper units of magnitude from the public, for some unknown reason, maybe for same Reason that Nostradamas was vague, but @ same time was a fraud when it came to chemistry, but was @ same time genius when it came to predicting future events, unless it was based on some other book, that being the bible code, which IF true is based on Maxwell’s equation of time travel, same way these other rpgs are stealing my ideas before I have chance to invent it & claim it as their own even though it’s probably NOT their own, but probably mine, since fragments of many (close to all) of my ideas which I independently discover without any outside resource shows up in different rpgs, as well as in recent scientific discoveries, predicted 1st by my rpg HYBRID & its equations & algorithms, including the many recent discoveries also predicted by my rpg HYBRID & its equations & algorithms, predictions such as that of there being microscopic black-holes, is based on my recursive equation X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, IF I DO NOT SOUND PRETENTIOUS, then, also, the super computers is, also, based on my recursive equation of X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, as well as teleportation that the pentagon is researching into is based on my recursive equation X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, & creating a viable human from an egg without a sperm, is based on my recursive equation X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, my idea(s), where the sperm(s) has/have a parasitic propert(y/ies), because the male human has LESS points than the human female, is how the 2 genders operate: why, animals within the same specie look alike, and difference in appearance is between differing species is just topology, but similarities between the 2 genders within the same specie look alike for reason that since difference in points for the 2 genders are close to being similar for animals, although ratio is never @ 1:1, else THEN reproduction would be difficult @ 1:1 ratio, but NOT impossible, but possible, depending on, again, my major recursive equation X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, and its minor sibling equation X^LN(X) @ C# for X, but the female will always get more points than the male, UNLESS the male is a mutant, but he must NOT looked deformed, but he looks deformed, he (mutant) to be superior must have hidden points, to be equal to a female; while, we humans are/look different in terms of appearance, since the human female has LOT MORE points than the human male, and being humanoid in shape, also, gives us more points, by simply having that humanoid shape, where the shape or/and topology of having a humanoid shape acts to reinforce the laws of conservation of mass & energy, according to math, since physics is based on math, why math is more gibberish than physics, which according to 1 theory, the universe before it created itself, scanned alternate timelines & picked 1, and created itself, BASED ON my 2 universal recursive equations: X^LOG10(X) & X^LN(X) @ C# for X, which it seems/looks to me that in my opinion the universe, reality, & all its dimensions that we live in & don’t perceive, its rules & laws, including laws of quantum mechanics & relativity that of Einstein, IS BASED ON my 2 universal recursive equations: X^LOG10(X) & X^LN(X) @ C# for X, why all rpgs have point distribution @ C#, based on X^LOG10(X), while 2nd minor equation X^LN(X) is just an extra equation to make sure that the other 1st major equation that of X^LOG10(X) is properly & efficiently used, where even history itself is based on my 2 universal recursive equations: X^LOG10(X) & X^LN(X) @ C# for X. So, in effect reality is based on my ideas or/and my rpg, HYBRID, which is what all rpgs are based on & all science, math & engineering is based on my 2 simple recursive equations: X^LOG10(X) & X^LN(X), including useful to fractals, including physical objects that look like or/and seem to be puzzles such as a Rubik cube or/and its manifestations, and everything else, including genders, including any & all science-fiction is based on these 2 equations of mine, which is what my rpg HYBRID is based. And, perhaps the first rpg that I read, the ’86 MU TSR rpg, was (it seems or perhaps it is: all my evidence points to this) based on my future rpg, HYBRID, that I would try to create in the 1990s, but is still incomplete, but as far as C# goes, it’s % of completion is [(year – 1990)^2] = % of completion for C#, but as far as myself having all the rules for manipulating C# is incomplete, but based on the equation 2 equations, major being @ X^LOG10(X), and its minor sibling being @ X^LN(X), since I’m NOT genius, and it would take a genius to complete all the rules. So, just as gravity can take on different values, so can C#, each being different, in terms of how dense or not it is for its point distribution. I will momentary digress with this brief statement that the unit of magnitude CA in my rpg HYBRID stands for CMagic, and as for the letter “C”, by itself would be written as C0, a neutral unit of magnitude being a unitless unit, meaning undefined as of yet, same as C#, is the quantum state but defined in some specific C# for point distribution, where C1 is less dense than CA, which is usually maximum value for the MU Beyonder. And, since there isn’t any entity or/and force more powerful than the Beyonder in any science-fiction, then the maximum unit of magnitude is CA. Now, to return to the rule itself: the unit of magnitude of C1 & CA which is used in my rpg, HYBRID, is coincidently proportional or/& similar to Mega-scale of Champions/Hero rpg, depending on how you wish to define Mega-scale, which can sometimes be defined as advantage or limitation or modifier or as a # of points, similar to its Real & Active points. And, for a human, C2 or/and C1 might be considered for the same purpose of magnifying results, by simply increasing unity by 1, by “increasing”: I mean decreasing # in C#, causing an increase in C#, by 1 unit of magnitude, which sounds like a paradox, but so is reality, which is a paradox, which is my original mutant equation of transforming an adult male human into a mutant, such as by changing his C2 to C1 as his 0 END, which only the GM can do, unless given the option, if he is already a mutant, such as Dr. Banner/ HULK or Peter Parker in Part II of Spiderman movie, where he lose his powers to increase his IQ, which he then later reduce to get back his powers. NOTE that 0 END is simply default stat(s), which can vary depending on IF it has been altered in some way, based on Rule # 3 & 6, which determine how much his Life Span can be reduced, so as to increase his PL or Power Level, where # END can take on 2 types of values, either what END (in terms of LS) is reduced to or is stated in terms of advantages or/& limitations, but the END when defined/stated as characteristic in Champions/ Hero is @ 0 END, sort of like when LS @ C# is reduced to ˝, same as ˝ END, so it has multiple meanings, although LS in terms of C#, is exponential, in terms of how C# is set up for Life Span & Power Level. And, when LS is redu
post was too long read more at your own risk
[Mar 6,2008 2:54pm - brian_dc ""]
DYA broke the internet...I'm not sure this is going to even work!
[Mar 6,2008 2:55pm - aaron_michael ""]
so, I think the question to be asked now is, what member of what band could possibly be butt hurt enough to post a rant like this?
even if this thread if just for laughs, I always found it astonishing that people in bands think that EVERYONE in the world is going to like them. of course, about eighty percent of those kinds of people aren't in metal bands.
I've run into plenty of people in bands that when they're introduced as "Mike from something-something-something-or-other", when I say things like "nice to meet you *insertsmalltalk* I'm not really into your band, sorry man.", and they look like they're going to go berserk.
Or when I have something critical to say about a song or a riff, it's like their entire world has come apart because one person has been honest in that their "shredding" just isn't my cup of tea.
Anyways, I "lol'd" at work after reading the initial post, and if it's real, then whoever posted it should take a good long look in the mirror, tell himself he's not in Rush, then proceed to blow his stupid brains out for thinking that the vast majority of this message board actually gives a shit if they offended him and his(his idol's, his mother's, or his friend's) band.
there's plenty of bad music in the world, no need to cry.
[Mar 6,2008 2:58pm - SkinSandwich ""]
just before his suicide in April 1945, Adolf Hitler donated two dirty bombs, functional atomic bombs, to Japan. The two bombs were loaded on a German submarine en route to Japan but the submarine (U-234) was intercepted by a US destroyer which found uranium oxide on it A giant Japanese submarine was waiting for the two bombs, one of which was scheduled to be detonated over San Francisco on August 17, 1945, only 11 days after this little boy was dropped over Hiroshima.
[Mar 6,2008 3:06pm - kadooganism ""]
DESTROYYOUALOTSAID I BROKE DA INTERNET
[Mar 6,2008 3:07pm - kadooganism ""]
HAHAHA I TRICKED YOU ALL I AM THE MOST CONVINCING FAKE POSTER EVER AND YOU WILL NEVER KNOW BECAUSE NO ONE CAN READ THIS BAHAHAHAHAHA
But in case it gets fixed, I OWN YOUR SOULS.
[Mar 6,2008 3:26pm - PeteovDom ""]
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:NO One on here is man enough to say anything? You all talk shit and then spit bullshit when you get called out on it.
this is probably KarmaEnema.
[Mar 6,2008 3:30pm - brian_dc ""]
I await the day that I can be seen
[Mar 6,2008 3:32pm - brian_dc ""]
password for the_reverend: filliecheizstakes
[Mar 6,2008 3:32pm - DrewBlood ""]
i love this thread
[Mar 6,2008 3:32pm - brian_dc ""]
:NEWHORNS::middlefinger::shocker::shocked::spineyes::satancross::skull::happymac::bartnormal::duffbeer::gun::bartmoon::radio::yoda::nuke::cd::point::thescream::tightiewhities::tmnt1::tmnt2::tmnt3::tmnt4::swedenflag::moe::wiggam::stupidflanders::ralphie::itchy::sctachy::krusty::doublehorns:8^(>:]
:bow::whipper::pukeface::HUMP::LOL::D[Mar 6,2008 3:33pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
NO U
[Mar 6,2008 3:33pm - largefreakatzero ""]
brian_dc said:everyone here is genuinely upset about this. You've made us all feel bad and we're all going to quit now.
Wanted to see if the quote thing worked.
[Mar 6,2008 3:34pm - Archaeon ""]
RichHorror said:
diarrhea_blumps%20nli said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said: RESPOND WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING WORTHY TO SAY.
pigs can orgasm for up to 30 minutes....
The diamond is the hardest substance known to man.
Wrong. that would be MSD's penis at a playground.
[Mar 6,2008 3:41pm - DrewBlood ""]
[img]
have you seen him?
[Mar 6,2008 3:42pm - brian_dc ""]
I agree with Drew
whatever he said
I agree
[Mar 6,2008 3:43pm - Mucko ""]
Fantastic.
[Mar 6,2008 3:44pm - brian_dc ""]
what phenomenal timing
[Mar 6,2008 3:45pm - brian_dc ""]
uhhh...LOL at the post that crippled the thread
[Mar 6,2008 3:48pm - the_reverend ""]
http://consumerist.com/364563/complaint-re...of-negative-links-including-lolcats
[Mar 6,2008 3:51pm - largefreakatzero ""]
"RULE # 220: Based on the Rasolon episode of Dr Who, it is possible that the TARDIS’s source of energy is anti-matter emanating from either a black hole somewhere in the galaxy or the black hole @ the center of the galaxy."
Haha -- what the fuck is this???
[Mar 6,2008 3:54pm - ouchdrummer ""]
diarrhea_blumps%20nli said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said: RESPOND WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING WORTHY TO SAY.
pigs can orgasm for up to 30 minutes....
I am not sure about the pigs orgasming for 30 minutes, but i am sure that their vaginas are great because they feel most like a humans.... very moist
[Mar 6,2008 3:55pm - deadlikemurf ""]
"THE STACKHOUSE FILIBUSTER"
TELEPLAY BY: AARON SORKIN
STORY BY: PETE MCCABE
DIRECTED BY: BRYAN GORDON
TEASER
FADE IN: EXT. WASHINGTON, D.C. - NIGHT
C.J. [VO]
Dear Dad. First of all, Happy Birthday. Second of all, let me explain why I'm not on my
way there right now. You're not going to believe this, but it's because of a filibuster.
A filibuster that no one ever saw coming. Not the Senate leadership. Not the Party
leadership. And not me.
CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - NIGHT
C.J. is sitting at her computer typing an email to her father. A television is on in the
background.
C.J. [VO]
And if you're angry at me, well, you've got a lot of company. I'm going to explain all
this. Right now, it's Friday night and everyone is trying to get out the door - only I
won't let them.
CUT TO: INT. SAM'S OFFICE - NIGHT
A television is shown to be on C-SPAN2, broadcasting the U.S. Senate Live. A Democratic
Senator from Minnesota, HOWARD STACKHOUSE, has the floor and is reading from a recipe book.
HOWARD STACKHOUSE
...non absorbent paper. Yields approximately four servings.
Sam is watching the television, looking quite dismayed.
SAM
[to himself] This isn't happening.
Sam looks at his watch as STACKHOUSE continues to read.
STACKHOUSE
...sauce, or chili sauce...
Sam spots C.J. in the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE.
SAM
C.J.!
C.J.
Yeah.
SAM
What the hell is he doing?
Sam and C.J. walk through into the CORRIDOR.
C.J.
It's a recipe for deep fried fantail shrimp.
SAM
Yeah. But, what's he still doing up there?
C.J.
He's got a recipe book.
SAM
How long will it go?
C.J.
I don't know.
SAM
I'm saying how many recipes are there?
C.J.
Altogether?
SAM
Yeah.
C.J.
I can't cook, but I think there are probably like 20 or 30.
SAM
You're screwing around with me.
C.J.
Oh, yeah.
SAM
I'm about to miss the 7:30 shuttle. If I miss the 8:30, I miss the last train to
Sag Harbor.
C.J. is handed a piece of paper by a staffer.
C.J.
You can spend the night in New York.
SAM
I've only got two nights. And you've gotta see this house.
C.J.
It's cool?
SAM
It's a Frank Lloyd Wright.
C.J.
Isn't it cold in Sag Harbor right now?
SAM
We wear sweaters. It's a Tommy Hilfiger ad.
C.J.
It can't last forever.
SAM
He's got 20 to 30 recipes he can still read.
Sam stops walking while C.J. continues through swinging doors into the JOSH'S BULLPEN,
still talking to Sam.
C.J.
Sam, seriously, there are more recipes than that.
SAM
Who cares? He's blowing my weekend in the Hamptons.
C.J.
Maybe he doesn't know about the sweaters.
Sam turns around and walks away.
C.J. [VO]
The reason they needed to stick around was that the moment the filibuster's over, there
will be a vote and once they vote, I need my spin boys.
C.J. is walking through JOSH'S BULLPEN.
JOSH
C.J....
C.J.
I know!
Josh jumps up from his chair and walks with C.J. through the bullpen.
JOSH
Who gave him the recipe book?
C.J.
I really don't think we can blame this on the recipe book. Plus, I now know the secret to
cold asparagus chantilly is a quarter cup whipped cream.
JOSH
I'm going to Port Saint Lucie, which may not mean anything to you, but happens to be the
spring training home of the...
C.J.
New York Jets. Yes, you've told me. Josh, you can watch basketball on T.V.
JOSH
Yes, except the New York Knicks are a basketball team, the New York Jets are a football
team, and Port Saint Lucie is the spring training home of the New York...
C.J.
[exasperated] Mets! Yes. Dammit, I'm inadequate.
Josh stops at the bottom of a small staircase that leads to the Briefing Room, while C.J.
continues. C.J. stops at the top to listen to Josh.
JOSH
A weekend at spring training. Mike Piazza is going to be standing in the batting cage.
[strikes a batting pose] He's going to turn and see me. He's going to say, 'Dude.'
C.J.
Well, I wouldn't want you to miss a legitimate 'dude' sighting.
JOSH
[excited] So I can take off?
C.J.
No.
C.J. walks into the PRESS BRIEFING ROOM full of reporters.
C.J. [VO]
Why do I need the spin? Because it's a bipartisan bill and I'm all for bipartisanship
as long as we get the credit. So, I've taken the press corps hostage.
The moment C.J. enters and heads for the podium, all of the reporters start calling her
name. A television in the room is tuned to Stackhouse on C-SPAN2 as he continues to talk.
C.J.
Guys, I'm sorry, but you know what? Listen, seriously, you're looking at democracy at
work, it's a beautiful thing.
REPORTER 1
And how much more beauty can we be expecting tonight, C.J.
C.J.
Well, I wouldn't think it would be that much longer.
REPORTER 2
He's got a recipe book.
C.J.
Yeah, but how many recipes can there be? 20? 30?
Another reporter, Mark, rushes up to C.J.
MARK
[in a loud whisper] C.J., it's Friday night. I'm supposed to have dinner with my
girlfriend. She's going to kill me.
C.J.
Yeah, but you know what, Mark? This is just the kind of thing that can cleanse the palate
of a relationship that's gone stale. Like a fine sorbet.
MARK
We've been going out three weeks.
C.J.
And she's already bitching about dinner?
MARK
C.J....
C.J.
Lose her.
Mark goes back to his seat as C.J. walks behind the podium. The reporters start to call
her name again.
C.J.
Listen up! Everybody, this was unforeseen. Obviously, he's got to finish sometime. When
he does, there will be a vote immediately. When it's done, the President will make his
calls, White House staff will be available for comment, and most important you will all
write about it. In the mean time, I say, pizza for everybody! Who's with me?
The room is silent.
C.J.
Excellent!
C.J. gathers her papers and leaves. Carol meets her outside the door and follows
C.J. through the HALLWAYS.
C.J.
We're going to need like a massive truckload of pizza. And, I don't know, maybe some
Cuervo 1800 if we've got it lying around.
CAROL
How much?
C.J.
Just enough for me.
Toby approaches.
TOBY
C.J., just so you know, I need to be at Telluride first thing in the morning.
C.J.
That's a rough assignment you pulled there.
TOBY
No, I'm saying, I already missed the 6:50 to Denver, but I can catch an 8:40 from
National if I change planes in Chicago.
C.J. and Toby enter C.J.'S OFFICE. Toby is bouncing his pink rubber ball.
C.J.
And as you're travel agent, it's important that you update me on that information.
TOBY
C.J....
C.J.
I'm supposed to be on my way to Napa right now for my Dad's 70th birthday. You hear me
complaining?
TOBY
You just did.
C.J.
Get out.
C.J. sits behind her desk with her computer.
TOBY
It's your dad's 70th birthday?
C.J.
Yeah.
TOBY
You doing anything?
C.J.
Yeah, we're all getting together in Napa.
TOBY
[quietly] I meant right now.
C.J.
No. I'm sitting and waiting. I'm ordering pizza. I'm catching up on e-mails.
TOBY
All right. I got a a basketball game on in my office if you want to come by?
C.J.
Is it the Jets and the Mets?
TOBY
It's the Nets and the Hawks. [with disdain] The Jets and the Mets?
C.J.
I know the teams. I'm joking when I do this. I'm joking when I do this.
TOBY
Okay.
Toby turns to leave, then turns back around.
TOBY
You know there's a 9:00 to SFO. You could drive to Napa.
C.J.
Yeah.
TOBY
All right. I'm in my office.
C.J. turns to look at the television, where Stackhouse is still speaking.
C.J.
It'll end.
TOBY
Do you have any idea how many recipes there are?
C.J.
I really don't.
Toby leaves.
STACKHOUSE [on T.V.]
...teaspoon of dry mustard...
C.J. begins to type.
C.J. [VO]
So, the press is in the briefing room. The staff is in the West Wing. And I'm right here.
I'm betting when you read this, you're going to be glad I stayed. I'm betting you're
going to end up rooting for a Minnesota Senator named Howard Stackhouse. 'Cause I gotta
tell ya, this doesn't seem like any old filibuster.
SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
END TEASER
* * *
ACT ONE
FADE IN: EXT. WASHINGTON, D.C. - NIGHT
C.J. [VO]
It's our first filibuster, and I'm not a rules expert, but the rules of a filibuster are
simple enough.
FADE TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - NIGHT
C.J. continues typing her e-mail.
C.J.
You keep the floor as long as you hold the floor. What does that mean? It means you can't
stop talking, ever. You can't eat, and you can't drink, which is fine, because you can't
leave the chamber to use the bathroom, either. But all that's nothing compared to this:
you're not allowed to sit down. You're not allowed to lean on anything or, for that matter,
anyone. It started with the bill you'll read about tomorrow morning called the Family
Wellness Act. Josh had been leading staffers from the Legislative Liaison Office in
negotiations with the conference chairman for weeks and this last Monday morning he
walked into the Roosevelt Room and said...
CUT TO: INT. THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY
Josh enters and seats himself at the table.
JOSH
We got the Family Wellness Act.
LEO
It's done?
JOSH
Yes, sir.
LEO
What'd we get, what'd we lose?
JOSH
We got most of what we wanted in Title VII.
C.J.
That's infant hearing loss?
JOSH
Yeah, we got a hearing test for every child born in the U.S.
SAM
What about...?
JOSH
We did not get mandatory tests for children not born in hospitals.
SAM
We can live with that.
LEO
The Special Needs Adoption Awareness program?
JOSH
Right, this is a national campaign to provide information to the public regarding the
adoption of special needs children.
LEO
How'd we get it?
JOSH
By agreeing to a provision that would require health care staff to give pregnant women
information about adoption on an equal basis with all other courses of action.
C.J.
National Organization for Women's gonna hate that.
JOSH
I know.
C.J.
Women seeking abortions should not be required by law to be lectured at.
JOSH
Yeah, but you're gonna help me out there, right?
C.J.
Yes, I will. I will once again and betray the sisterhood.
Josh and the other men look down with small smiles.
C.J.
[pointing to each] Okay, I saw you, you, you, and you roll your eyes.
LARRY
You weren't even looking at me.
C.J.
I felt you.
LEO
[standing with others and clapping] We're done! Josh Lyman, everybody.
They all exit. Sam leaves with Josh.
SAM
Nice job.
JOSH
I know, I'm thinking seriously about turning pro.
SAM
Yeah?
JOSH
Yeah, I got agents talking to me, telling me I could go high in the second round, maybe
low in the first if I have a good postseason.
SAM
You don't want to stay in school, get your education?
JOSH
Nah, I'm white, nobody's gonna mind.
They walk into LEO'S OFFICE.
LEO
Josh, this looks good. I mean, he stuck sunsets on a bunch of small-ticket items, but...
JOSH
That's the way it's gonna happen.
LEO
You just spent six billion dollars on health care. How do you feel?
JOSH
I'd feel better if it meant just once I could go to a doctor without filling out
something on a clipboard.
LEO
All right, what else?
TOBY
Philip Sluman, who's the chairman of the Petroleum Producers of America, testified
yesterday to the FTC that "the Bartlet administration's" - blah, blah - "relentless
pursuit of emissions standards in the form of additives like MTBE is a big reason
we've seen price hikes in some parts of the country."
LEO
The Energy Secretary's got to respond.
TOBY
The Energy Secretary's gonna respond and I'd like to mention that to the Vice President.
LEO
You want me to do it?
TOBY
I got it.
LEO
He's gonna be pretty unhappy.
TOBY
Yep.
LEO
Anything else?
TOBY
No...
C.J.
Nope.
JOSH
No sir, thank you.
They all exit.
CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - PRESENT
C.J. continues typing.
C.J. [VO]
So there it was, the Family Wellness Act, an omnibus health bill aimed at diseases that
disproportionately affect children. This was a good day, 'cause something got done. The
problem is, we only thought it was done. Dad, this would be a good time to mention that
it's possible that an Egyptian cat goddess named Bast has put an ancient curse on me.
CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY
C.J. walks through a hallway. Charlie catches up with her.
CHARLIE
C.J.!
C.J.
Charlie.
CHARLIE
Listen...
C.J.
May I call you Chip?
CHARLIE
No...
C.J.
Chipper?
CHARLIE
No...
C.J.
Gilligan?
CHARLIE
Listen...
C.J.
Yes?
CHARLIE
Hassan Ali's coming here at the end of the week.
C.J.
He's got 38 wives.
CHARLIE
Yeah.
C.J.
Imagine being the girl he dated who he didn't marry.
CHARLIE
C.J.?
C.J.
Hassan Ali is coming?
They reach C.J.'S OFFICE.
CHARLIE
Yeah, and on the President's trip to Cairo, Ali gave him a gift, a ceramic statue.
C.J.
Okay.
CHARLIE
The State Department told the Office of Protocol it is important that the gift be
displayed when Ali visits.
C.J.
Display it.
CHARLIE
Well, the Office of Protocol wasn't able to find it.
C.J.
They should talk to the gift officer.
CHARLIE
They did.
C.J.
And?
CHARLIE
They say you have it.
C.J.
I'm sorry?
CHARLIE
Sherry Halpurn, the gift officer on the trip, says she handed it to you in Cairo.
C.J.
Did you say a small, ceramic statue?
CHARLIE
Yeah, of a cat.
C.J.
Okay... [sighs] okay... okay.
CHARLIE
C.J.?
C.J.
Yes?
CHARLIE
You know anything about it?
C.J.
Well, I have to think about it, Charlie. It was a year ago, and it's not like I have
instant recall of every ceramic cat statue I've ever been handed in Cairo.
CHARLIE
Yeah, should I tell Protocol that...?
C.J.
Tell Protocol I'm searching my recollection.
CHARLIE
Protocol's recollection seemed pretty good.
C.J.
Leave me now.
CHARLIE
Sure.
C.J. spots Toby in the hallway.
C.J.
Toby.
TOBY
I'm going to see Hoynes, talk to me later.
C.J.
Okay, Carol?
CAROL
What do you need?
C.J.
Some information, possibly a disguise, and a fast getaway car. Come inside.
CUT TO: INT. THE MURAL ROOM - DAY
Hoynes is with several senior citizens standing with quilts. They are posing for pictures.
HOYNES
Tell me something, how did they not anticipate the flooding?
REPORTER
There was an unexpectedly high snowmelt.
HOYNES
The snow fell three months ago. Did they not think it was going to melt this year?
CANDY
Thank you, everybody.
Hoynes thanks the guests for coming as they exit.
HOYNES
Thank you so much. It was a pleasure. Thank you. Beautiful quilts.
WOMAN
Thank you very much, sir.
CANDY
The temperatures were unseasonably warm last month.
MAN 1
We don't know why.
HOYNES
Well, it could have been something due to the sun, though, right?
MAN 2
Sir?
HOYNES
We're done. [to man] Yeah?
MAN 2
Can you see Toby Ziegler?
HOYNES
Yeah. 25 million acre-feet of water, Candy, that's eight trillion gallons.
CANDY
Yes, sir. [exits with the other staffers]
HOYNES
[as Toby enters] Hey, Toby.
TOBY
Good morning, Mr. Vice President.
HOYNES
The California Aqueduct is twice the length of Pennsylvania. Did you know that?
TOBY
I knew it was pretty big.
HOYNES
What do you need?
TOBY
[as both sit] Philip Sluman, testifying yesterday in front of the FTC, charged that it
was the White House's pursuit of tighter emissions standards that's caused the rise
in prices...
HOYNES
Phil Sluman had a good point.
TOBY
Mr. Vice President, I don't want to go round and round with you on Sluman.
HOYNES
Okay.
TOBY
He had no point.
HOYNES
Policy forces them to use expensive additives whose benefits are questionable.
TOBY
It's price gouging...
Hoynes shrugs his shoulders.
TOBY
It costs marginally more to refine the fuel with the additives and the cost is being
passed on to the consumer at an outrageous markup.
HOYNES
Toby, if a refinery shuts down, if there's a fire, which isn't, like, out of the question
when you're dealing with petroleum, production comes to a halt, gas becomes scarce, the
prices go up, then they come back down.
TOBY
Well, it's good to know the companies can make it through the lean times.
HOYNES
Yeah.
TOBY
Anyway, sir, tomorrow night, Bill Trotter's gonna be delivering a speech to the Detroit
Economic Counsel on Energy Efficiency in the 21st century, and we're gonna rewrite the
draft to include a fairly strong rebuttal to Phillip Sluman's remarks.
HOYNES
[clears throat] You shouldn't have Bill Trotter do it.
TOBY
Why?
HOYNES
'Cause his rants against the oil companies have become familiar and the press has stopped
writing about them.
TOBY
Still...
HOYNES
It's also pretty dicey political terrain for the Energy Secretary.
TOBY
Who would you send?
HOYNES
To punch back? Me. [stands]
TOBY
Really?
HOYNES
I'm having a press conference tomorrow afternoon to announce an advisory group for the
antitrust policy. I'll take questions at the end, I'll open it up for anything, and they
will ask me about Sluman and oil.
TOBY
Mr. Vice President...
HOYNES
Toby, if you think I'll be too soft on him, stand in the back of the room... if you don't
like what I say, call Bill Trotter and say, "You're on for tomorrow night."
TOBY
[standing] Would you mind if I prepared some notes for you?
HOYNES
[chuckling lightly] Oh, not at all... Would you mind if I shoved them up your ass?
TOBY
[laughing] No, sir... well, thank you, sir, we appreciate it.
HOYNES
I heard you got the Family Wellness Act.
TOBY
We scheduled the vote for Friday at noon.
HOYNES
You'll have the bill by 12:05.
The filibuster continues in the background.
STACKHOUSE [VO]
...six egg yolks, three cups of heavy cream, six tablespoons of sugar, two tablespoons...
TOBY
Thank you, Mr. Vice President. [exits]
CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - PRESENT
C.J. [VO]
I'll get back to the cat story in a second, 'cause I have to interrupt to say this: if
you ever have a free two hours and are so inclined, try standing up without leaning on
anything and talking the whole time. You won't make it. I wouldn't make it. Stackhouse
wasn't supposed to last 15 minutes. He's 78 years old. He has a head cold. This bill is
going to pass. He has no hope, to say nothing of I can't imagine what the hell it is
he's fighting for. Stackhouse wasn't supposed to last 15 minutes.
STACKHOUSE [on T.V.]
That is how you prepare Virginia Green apple pie. Let's turn now to David Copperfield...
C.J.
[still typing] Well, somebody forgot to tell Stackhouse, Dad, cause he just went into
hour number eight.
STACKHOUSE [on T.V.]
...1870, began this great work...
FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE
* * *
ACT TWO
FADE IN: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - NIGHT
STACKHOUSE [VO]
...whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show...
CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE MESS - CONTINUOUS
Sam is sitting by the T.V. in front of his laptop computer. Stackhouse is still on
T.V. reading "David Copperfield."
STACKHOUSE [on T.V.]
...To begin my life with the beginning of my life, I record I was born, as I have
been informed and believe on a Friday at 12:00 at night. It was remarked that the
clock began to strike...
C.J. walks in to grab some coffee.
STACKHOUSE [on T.V.]
...and I began to cry simultaneously...
C.J.
Hey.
SAM
Hey.
C.J.
What are you doing?
SAM
Well, it's a little complicated and indeed difficult to explain in layman's terms.
Sam is playing solitaire on the computer.
C.J.
You can put the black seven on the red eight.
Sam realizes that C.J. can see the computer screen from the glass behind him.
SAM
Thanks.
C.J.
Hey Sam, who's your favorite writer?
SAM
Toby.
C.J.
Who's your favorite fiction writer?
SAM
You're listening to him right now.
C.J.
You like Dickens?
SAM
Yeah.
C.J.
You know I never got a chance to say... I mean, I feel bad about your dad and
everything.
SAM
Yeah. We're doing better. You know, the ice is starting to thaw.
C.J.
I'm in the middle of an e-mail to my father.
SAM
Do you talk to him a lot?
C.J.
Not enough. You're gonna miss the last plane.
SAM
I'll take Amtrak to Penn Station and rent a car.
C.J.
Okay. Well, I just came down to get this coffee.
SAM
Go back to your e-mail.
C.J. walks away but turns back.
C.J.
Hey, did I hear you got spanked by some 14-year-old kid interning at the GAO?
SAM
I did not get spanked. And she was 19 years old, and I demonstrated once again that I
am open to all forms of debate.
C.J.
With an intern.
SAM
If need be.
C.J.
Okay.
C.J. walks back to the coffee machine.
SAM
She was very crafty.
C.J.
Who?
SAM
The intern from the GAO.
C.J.
Yeah.
SAM
Go back to your e-mail.
C.J.
I am.
SAM
Okay.
C.J.
I'm taking my coffee with me.
SAM
I'll see you upstairs.
C.J. exits.
STACKHOUSE [on T.V.]
...[coughs] then she made a frown and a gesture to my mother like one who was accustomed
to be obeyed, to come open the door...
Sam closes his solitaire game and begins typing an e-mail.
SAM [VO]
Dear Jackass... [sips some coffee]
STACKHOUSE [on T.V.]
..."Mrs. David Copperfield, I think," said Miss Betsey. The emphasis referring perhaps
to my mother's mourning weeds and her condition not having been lighted, indeed, since
my father's funeral.
SAM [VO]
[smiles] Dear Dad, C.J. Cregg is writing an e-mail to her father to kill time during
the filibuster, and it reminded me I haven't told you any tales from the White House
in the last few weeks...
CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - DAY
Sam comes out of a door and walks.
SAM [VO]
Let's start again, okay. Here's one about how I got yelled at by a 19-year-old intern
from the General Accounting Office.
Sam continues to JOSH'S OFFICE.
SAM [VO]
Josh was having his twice weekly meeting with assistant deputies. He was basically
staffing out inbox material for the next few days. I was looking for a good piece of
fruit.
Sam quietly sneaks in Josh's meeting and spies some fruit on the table.
JOSH
Write this down. I need to find out if sufficient funds have been appropriated to the
FAA to begin work on data-link communications.
Sam picks up an orange.
STAFFER 1
They're gonna ask me what sufficient funds mean.
JOSH
That's when you get me on the phone. Sam...
Sam looks.
JOSH
What are you doing?
SAM
I'm looking for a piece of fruit.
JOSH
Can we show you something from the back, or...?
SAM
I'm fine.
JOSH
Okay, here's one. Uh... the White House has been instructed by Congress to compile a
list of 400 government reports that should be eliminated as they serve little purpose
and cost taxpayers hundreds of millions of dollars.
Sam is now peeling a banana.
JOSH [cont.]
We'll assume, though, the modifier was dangling, they mean the reports serve little
purpose, not Congress itself. Who wants to lead it?
SAM
[raises a finger] I will.
JOSH
Right. You're not in this meeting. You're shopping for fruit.
SAM
I'm done with the fruit. I was listening to what you were saying.
JOSH
You want to do this?
SAM
Absolutely.
JOSH
Why?
SAM
Because it's insane! We got over 3,000 reports from federal agencies last year.
Agriculture spent $40 million producing 280 reports. Four years of college, three
years of law school, I spent 30 bucks at Kinko's. Give me the thing.
JOSH
All right. We're done.
All the staffers begin to exit the room.
SAM
[to the staffers] Let me tell you people something. The GAO needs a little housekeeping,
and that's my nickname, okay? I'm "The Housekeeper."
Toby peeks in from another door.
TOBY
Hey.
SAM
God, that's a terrible nickname.
JOSH
Well, start getting used to it for a while.
TOBY
Let me talk to you for a second.
SAM
[to Josh] I'm not going with that nickname anymore. [to Toby] What's going on?
TOBY
I was just with Hoynes.
JOSH
About Sluman's testimony?
TOBY
Yeah.
JOSH
What did he say?
TOBY
He defended it.
SAM
Isn't that what you expected?
TOBY
Yeah.
SAM
Did you tell him Bill Trotter was gonna be...?
TOBY
Yeah.
JOSH
What did he say?
TOBY
He said he wanted to do it himself.
A pause. Sam looks at Josh.
JOSH
Really?
TOBY
Yeah.
SAM
I don't understand.
TOBY
He said he's doing a press conference tomorrow on...
SAM
Antitrust.
TOBY
Yeah, and he'll take questions at the end. And they'll ask about the Sluman testimony,
and he'll step up.
JOSH
Well, somebody's got to be there.
TOBY
Oh, I'm gonna be there. If he ducks, Trotter goes on in Detroit. But, still, is it
clear to you what he's doing?
SAM
No.
TOBY
Me neither. [exits]
CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE MESS - PRESENT
SAM [VO]
Okay, so I got a team together and I went about the task of recommending 400
government reports for elimination.
CUT TO: INT. THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY
A meeting with Sam and others.
LARRY
Report on use of Pell Grants for the incarcerated.
SAM
What's that?
LARRY
Education scholarships for prisoners.
SAM
Wasn't that program terminated?
LARRY
Yeah.
SAM
But we write the reports anyway.
ED
Yeah.
SAM
Lose it.
ED
Report on study of Route 66.
SAM
Which tells us?
A female intern pushing a cart behind Ed and Larry drops a file between them.
LARRY
Condition and traffic flow of America's oldest trans-continental highway.
SAM
Anything in there I don't get from the song?
LARRY
Nope.
SAM
Lose it.
The young intern breathes out a very audible sigh. Sam looks.
SAM
Excuse me?
INTERN
I didn't say anything.
SAM
You made a little sound there.
INTERN
Sorry. I'll be out of your way in just a moment. [continues to put files down]
SAM
Okay.
LARRY
Apparently, there are these tiny clams of mussels that are taking over the Great Lakes.
SAM
Lose it.
The interns makes the sound again.
SAM
Can I help you?
INTERN
No, you seem to be screwing the world up all by yourself.
SAM
Who are you?
INTERN
I'm an intern at the GAO.
LARRY
Sam, it's almost noon. They're gonna be starting the vote.
SAM
Let's go watch.
LARRY
Yeah.
Everybody gets up and turns to leave. The intern pushes the cart to leave as well.
SAM
[to the intern] You stay a second. You're an intern.
INTERN
Yes.
SAM
What are you, 14 years old?
INTERN
[defensively] I'm 19 years old.
SAM
And what's your problem with my cutting reports?
INTERN
Nothing. Other than it being utterly bogus.
SAM
What's your name?
INTERN
Winnifred Hooper.
SAM
Should I call you Winnie?
WINNIFRED
Not unless you want me to spit at you.
SAM
And I don't.
WINNIFRED
Okay.
SAM
Winnifred, the accounting office tells me I can save the taxpayers $3 million by
cutting 400 reports.
WINNIFRED
Now, every American family can realize their dream of a college education for their
children with the penny and a half you just saved them.
SAM
Okay, you know what...
WINNIFRED
You blow through these things like they don't mean anything.
SAM
They don't mean anything.
WINNIFRED
You're an idiot!
SAM
Hey-hey, you're talking to senior staff.
WINNIFRED
Gee, genuflect when you say that, fella.
SAM
[picks up a random file] Report on the Obstacles to State and Local Training Needs in
the Solid Waste Management and Resource Recovery. You know what this is?
WINNIFRED
Yes.
SAM
It's about career opportunities for garbage men.
WINNIFRED
And what's wrong with that?
SAM
I think it's a tough sell, and I don't need a report to tell me that.
WINNIFRED
Do you have any idea how much MSW this country generates in a single year?
SAM
That's...
WINNIFRED
Municipal solid waste.
SAM
I knew that.
WINNIFRED
209 million tons of MSW or 4.3 pounds per person per day. And the kicker is, we only
have hard data available from five years ago.
SAM
So, the numbers would be even higher today.
WINNIFRED
You bet your boots they would. Trash collectors play an incredibly important role in
our society. They start work at 4 a.m. I mean a three-person crew could service 1200
homes in six hours, collecting 50,000 pounds of garbage.
SAM
How do you know all that?
WINNIFRED
I've read the report.
SAM
You've read the report?
WINNIFRED
Yes.
SAM
Why?
WINNIFRED
I'm allowed. Anybody's allowed.
SAM
No, I-I mean, why?
WINNIFRED
Well, they're all sitting in the office I work in.
SAM
So, it just happens you read the report I pulled off the top?
WINNIFRED
I've read them all.
SAM
You've read them all.
WINNIFRED
I-I like to read. They let me come early and stay after. [exhales] Mr. Seaborn, the
bottom line is because of the low rate of unemployment, people can be a lot more
choosy, and the municipal sanitation departments are having trouble hiring qualified
trash collectors, which I think you'll agree we need.
SAM
Yes.
WINNIFRED
Okay. I have to go back to my room.
Winnifred pushes his cart to leave.
SAM
Winnie.
She turns around.
SAM
Yeah, I said it. Listen, you're talented. When you get out of school, you should come
see me for a job.
WINNIFRED
I-I suppose you're not a complete loser... and you write very well... So when I get
out of school, you should come see me for a job. [exits]
CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - PRESENT
C.J. continues with her e-mail.
C.J.
Back to the cat story dad, I've done my research, and sure enough, I was quite screwed.
I was in trouble, and I needed to tell someone, a cohort. Someone whose criminal mind
is equal to my own.
CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY
C.J. catches up with Donna, who is carrying a bunch of files.
C.J.
Donna, I need to talk to you right now.
DONNA
I have to get these to people.
C.J.
So, we went to Cairo last year.
DONNA
Not me.
C.J.
Right.
DONNA
I had strep.
C.J.
I didn't which is sad for me.
DONNA
Are you in trouble?
C.J.
I may be in a spot of trouble, yes.
DONNA
What happened?
C.J.
Hassan Ali gave the President a gift, a small ceramic statue of Bast.
DONNA
Bast?
C.J.
Bast. A cat goddess. She was...
STAFFER
[holding a phone] Donna, did Josh leave?
DONNA
He went to lunch.
C.J.
She was the patron saint of Bubastis and rose to prominence during the period of the
22nd Dynasty.
DONNA
How do you know all this?
C.J.
I looked it up. The cats in the temple...
DONNA
What temple?
C.J.
The temple of Bubastis, maybe, I don't know. The cats in the temple wore jeweled
collars. They were treated royally. They thought cats controlled the movement of
the moon. They had total authority over royal houses because of their ability to
see in the dark. Anyone who killed a cat was put to death.
DONNA
I'm sorry, C.J. I'm not...
C.J. stops walking and so does Donna.
C.J.
I broke the damn statue. Not badly, but you know, in several pieces. And since it came
out of his own collection, breaking the figurine would amount to a personal affront
implying he had bad taste, and that the object was of little personal value to the
President.
STAFFER 2
[walking by] Donna, they're asking for you back at your desk.
DONNA
How did you break it?
C.J.
The gift officer handed it to me. I tossed it in my suitcase.
DONNA
You tossed it in your suitcase?
C.J.
Do you have any idea how many pieces of crap gets stuck in the President's hands every
time he leaves the building?
DONNA
Didn't the gift officer know it was a priceless relic?
C.J.
Well, apparently not, because she handed it to me with a couple of T-shirts and a box of
baklava.
STAFFER 3 [OS]
Donna!
DONNA
Yeah. [to C.J.] Why are you telling me this?
C.J.
I thought maybe you'd have an idea.
DONNA
Well, there's nothing really I can think of right now, except agree that you're
monumentally screwed. I mean I hate to leave it at that.
C.J.
But you're gonna.
DONNA
Yeah.
C.J. walks off. Donna meets a staffer.
DONNA
What's going on?
STAFFER 3
It's this phone message for Josh.
DONNA
Who's it from?
STAFFER 3
Howard Stackhouse.
JOSH
[walking by] Who has my wallet?
Someone tosses him his wallet.
JOSH
Thank you.
DONNA
Josh. Did Senator Stackhouse ask you to meet with one of his aides?
JOSH
Yeah.
DONNA
'Cause I don't have it down.
JOSH
Yeah, I'm not taking it.
DONNA
Why?
JOSH
He wants an amendment added to the Family Wellness Act that'll allocate money for
autism care and research.
DONNA
And we don't want to?
JOSH
This is what's called a "Christmas tree bill." Everyone hangs amendments on it. We just
closed it this morning. We try to hang a star on top...
DONNA
The tree topples over, and it doesn't pass.
JOSH
Yeah, Stackhouse isn't really someone who has a lot of muscle on this, so...
DONNA
You got this phone message. [shows him a note]
JOSH
From his office?
DONNA
From him. [reading the note] "You're gonna meet with me or there's not gonna be a vote
while I'm alive. Stackhouse."
Josh takes and note from Donna and walks off.
STACKHOUSE [VO]
...as if it were her fault, poor thing, and said, sobbing, that indeed, she was afraid
that she was but a childish widow...
C.J. [VO]
So maybe it was the curse of Bast that made us not take the Stackhouse threat seriously,
but whatever the reason, it's time to take it seriously 'cause he's gassing me out of
time. Still, I've got two hours till the 11:00 print deadline, and there's no way,
there's no way, he goes another two hours.
She looks at the T.V.
STACKHOUSE [on T.V.]
Let's move on to the rules of cards...
C.J.
There's no way.
FADE OUT.
END ACT TWO
* * *
ACT THREE
FADE IN: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - DAY
The camera tracks the halls of the West Wing. As it approaches LEO'S OFFICE, we hear Josh.
JOSH [VO]
The message was pretty cryptic... like something you'd slip to a bank teller. And it was
unusual to get it directly from a Senator, who'd normally dispatch an aide. Leo agreed,
but was in no way concerned. He told me to go ahead, take the meeting, and not to sweat
it, and under no circumstances give anything away.
During the voiceover, we see Leo and Josh talk. Josh takes the memo from Leo and exits.
CUT TO: EXT. THE CAPITOL HILL - DAY
JOSH [VO]
So I headed up to the Hill... wearing, by the way, the new shoes you bought me, which I'd
never worn before.
CUT TO: INT. CAPITOL BUILDING HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS
Josh slides in from camera left and falls on his butt.
JOSH [VO]
Since Dad's not here to do it, I think it's my job to bore you with history now. The
filibuster has been part of parliamentary strategy in this country for over a hundred
and fifty years. Now, the reason we weren't sweating Stackhouse is that Stackhouse isn't
someone you sweat. He's been around forever, but he has little influence, little power,
and few friends. So, Dad would want me to tell you where the word 'filibuster' comes
from. It's from the Dutch "vrijbuiter," which translated literally means "freebooter."
But what they meant was, "buccaneer."
During the voiceover, we see Josh walk to SENATOR STACKHOUSE'S OFFICE. He removes his
coat as the Senator beckons him in.
JOSH
Afternoon, Senator.
STACKHOUSE
Good afternoon. [coughs]
JOSH
Sounds like a bad cold.
STACKHOUSE
It's fine.
JOSH
You taking anything?
STACKHOUSE
I don't want to talk about my cold. I want 47 million dollars to fight autism.
JOSH
Sir...
STACKHOUSE
Five "Centers of Excellence" in universities around the country to help scientists
coordinate their research, three special units for autism epidemeilogy at the CDC,
and a centralized facility for gene and brain banking. That's 43 million.
JOSH
Senator...
STACKHOUSE
Uh, the other four million is for a federal program to educate doctors in order to reduce
the staggeringly high percentage of cases in which autism is misdiagnosed.
JOSH
We can't do it.
STACKHOUSE
Of course you can. You simply pick up the phone, you call the Conference Chairman, and...
JOSH
The bill started out at two billion. It's six billion now.
STACKHOUSE
That's right. So another forty seven million hurts you how?
JOSH
Sir...
STACKHOUSE
It's eight tenths of one percent of a bill aimed at the health issues affecting children,
which is roughly the same as the percentage of children affected by autism.
JOSH
I don't need to tell you that in these negotiations...
STACKHOUSE
In these negotiations about a bill aimed at health issues affecting children, we've
allocated funds for Alzheimer's, glaucoma, and erectile dysfunction.
JOSH
Sir...
STACKHOUSE
You know a lot of two year olds afflicted with that horrific condition, do you?
JOSH
[smiling] There's no doubt that that's a good point, but in order for us to ensure that
more important things were in the bill...
STACKHOUSE
So there was a determination made.
JOSH
I'm sorry?
STACKHOUSE
A determination was made, an order of priorities.
JOSH
Senator, there's going to be a vote. The bill's closed.
STACKHOUSE
Open it back up again.
JOSH
To do that would mean to postpone the vote, and everyone's breaking for the recess, and...
STACKHOUSE
And you want the story before everyone goes home.
JOSH
Yeah.
STACKHOUSE
Okay. [gets up and walks to the door]
JOSH
Sir, the next time around, and there will be a next time around...
STACKHOUSE
That's all. I'm done with you now.
He waves his hand dismissively at Josh and walks out.
JOSH [VO]
And that was that.
CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - NIGHT
The camera focuses on the three T.V.s on the shelves.
NEWSCASTER [on T.V.]
Also in the news at this hour, parliamentary procedure in all of its glory, as a Senate
filibuster watches day turn to night, and possibly back into day again. 78-year-old
Minnesota Senator Howard Stackhouse stands alone tonight in the well of the Senate
chamber as his colleagues somewhat impatiently wait for a vote that was scheduled
to take place more than nine hours ago. Stackhouse, a five-term senator who once...
During the commentary, we pan to Donna watching the coverage.
DONNA
Hey, Zach.
ZACH
Yeah?
DONNA
You guys record the news feeds coming in, right?
ZACH
Yeah.
DONNA
Could I get a dub of the B-roll they're showing on the Stackhouse story? It's three or
four seconds, it's a campaign stop, and his grandchildren were with him. The voiceover's
talking about his seven grandchildren.
ZACH
Sure. What's the problem?
DONNA
It's nothing.
ZACH
I'll have it sent up in a few minutes.
DONNA
Thanks.
Josh enters. He and Donna start a walk and talk to JOSH'S OFFICE.
JOSH
Donna.
DONNA
You're booked tomorrow morning, 8:55, United, direct to West Palm Beach.
JOSH
Which gets in at?
DONNA
12:58.
JOSH
It's still a seventy mile drive to Port St. Lucie. I'll miss the game.
DONNA
I thought they weren't playing yet.
JOSH
It's an exhibition game.
DONNA
You're flying to Florida to see the Mets play another team in a game that doesn't count?
JOSH
Actually, it's an intrasquad game.
DONNA
So you're flying to Florida to see the Mets play each other in a game that doesn't count.
JOSH
Yeah.
DONNA
Okay. Uh... there's a Continental flight out of Dulles at seven A.M., you change planes
in Newark.
JOSH
I gotta fly to New Jersey to get to Palm Beach?
DONNA
Look...
JOSH
Whatever. Just make sure that tomorrow morning...
DONNA
Mike Piazza calls you "dude."
JOSH
Yes.
Josh starts typing.
DONNA
What are you doing?
JOSH
I'm writing an e-mail to my mother.
DONNA
Why?
JOSH
To thank her for a pair of shoes she sent me.
DONNA
Your mother sent you shoes?
JOSH
Donna, please try and keep it...
DONNA
That is the sweetest thing I...
JOSH
Donna?
DONNA
Okay.
Donna exits. Josh turns back to the computer.
JOSH [VO]
Donna says hi, Mom. Anyway, I didn't think much about the meeting with Stackhouse
afterward. There are always going to be people who don't get what they want. I was
thinking about other things.
CUT TO: INT. BRIEFING ROOM - NIGHT
Hoynes is having a press conference. Toby is watching from the back of the room.
JOSH [VO]
Like Toby, I was puzzled as to why the Vice President, who made his money from the oil
industry, who champions the oil industry, volunteered to admonish the oil industry.
STEVE
Sir, I'm sure you're aware that Phillip Sluman testified before the FTC that the
Bartlet administration's relentless pursuit of stricter emissions standards in the
form of additives is why we're seeing price spikes.
HOYNES
Yeah.
STEVE
Would you comment on that?
HOYNES
Yeah. Our relentless pursuit of cleaner air standards has resulted in lower asthma rates
and the cleanest air in California in 50 years. It costs marginally more to refine fuel
with additives, but the costs are being passed on to consumers at an outrageous price.
CHRIS
Mr. Vice President.
HOYNES
Uh, yeah, Chris.
CHRIS
Are you accusing members of the PPA of price gouging?
HOYNES
Well, some of these CEOs are old friends of mine. But, uh, I can tell you they do know
how to turn a profit. Now, they'll claim that prices will go back down after production
increases...
JOSH [VO]
Hoynes just kept hammering away, and I was reminded for a minute how close he came to
being elected President.
HOYNES
...have created a new bottom line...
JOSH [VO]
Toby said it was an impressive display from Hoynes, but couldn't get past the question
of why he volunteered to do it.
CUT TO: INT. JOSH'S OFFICE - NIGHT
JOSH [VO]
And if you're wondering what the President does during a filibuster, I don't know 'cause
this is our first. But at the moment, he's in his private dining room having dinner.
There's a famous French chef visiting, and every time he comes he cooks for the President.
CUT TO: INT. LEO'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Bartlet walks in.
BARTLET
Leo.
LEO
Good evening, sir.
BARTLET
You busy?
LEO
What do you need?
BARTLET
Come have dinner with me.
LEO
Why?
BARTLET
Pierre Boileau is cooking tonight. You want to have dinner?
LEO
What's he serving?
BARTLET
That's your answer?
LEO
I'm just asking.
BARTLET
Well, I can tell you that the man specializes in a reinterpretation of classic Provençale
cuisine. Cassoulet, duck with green olives...
LEO
Yeah...
BARTLET
...saffron chicken...
LEO
I haven't had a good saffron chicken in quite some time.
BARTLET
Well, don't you think you deserve one?
LEO
Yes.
BARTLET
His specialty is his dessert, tomate du saltambique.
LEO
That's gonna be a big, seedless beefsteak tomato stweed for three hours in creme de
caramel and stuffed with...
BARTLET
Passion fruit, kiwi and hazelnuts, and...
LEO
...served on a pomegranate reduction, yes.
BARTLET
Let's go. Leave the cell phone.
LEO
I'm taking my phone.
BARTLET
We're not leaving the building. People can find you.
LEO
Let's go.
Bartlet and Leo head outside.
BARTLET
What's he on to now?
LEO
He's reading the rules of cards.
BARTLET
Oh, brother.
LEO
Don't worry about it.
BARTLET
Could Howard Stackhouse possibly be a bigger horse's patoot?
LEO
I don't know what part of a horse that is, exactly, but I've always thought he was a
decent guy.
BARTLET
He's a curmudgeon, a grouchy old crank.
LEO
So are we.
BARTLET
You are. I am full of mirth.
LEO
Okay.
BARTLET
He was all over me the first year. He called me, "Bartlet the Inert."
LEO
That was pretty funny.
BARTLET
I'm a reformer. I'm the most liberal President he's ever served under. His hero, Hubert
Humphrey, once, you know...
LEO
Shook your hand.
BARTLET
That's right. [silence] I feel bad.
LEO
Why?
BARTLET
His wife died a few years ago. I didn't go to the funeral.
LEO
Why?
BARTLET
I was kind of busy running for President, Leo.
LEO
That's right.
BARTLET
Tomate du Saltambique, my friend.
LEO
Yes, indeed.
They reach the DINING ROOM, which is lit by candlelight.
BUTLER
Good evening.
BARTLET
Hi. Hang on. [to Leo] They thought I was going to be eating with Abbey, so...
LEO
Hmm...
BARTLET
We'll just, you know, pretend there's no candlelight.
LEO
And that we're not paranoid homophobes in any way.
BARTLET
Yeah.
Leo's cell phone rings.
LEO
Yeah.
BARTLET
Leo, you have a deputy who's, frankly, a lot smarter than you are. Whatever it is, let
him handle it. Who are you talking to?
LEO
My deputy. [into phone] Yeah.
BARTLET
What did he say?
LEO
He says there's no end in sight.
BARTLET
Okay. Let's eat.
FADE OUT.
END ACT THREE
* **
ACT FOUR
FADE IN: INT. JOSH'S BULLPEN AREA - NIGHT
STACKHOUSE [V.O.]
To get cash for chips you have to go to the cashier's cage of the casino...
DONNA
C.J.?
C.J.
Yeah.
DONNA
Listen, I was looking at the B-roll they're showing on the Stackhouse story and there's
something that struck me as odd.
C.J.
What?
DONNA
They show two different events during his last campaign and his grandchildren are next
to him on stage. He's got seven of them.
C.J.
What's the problem?
DONNA
There are only six in the shot. I don't think this is what we think it is. I don't think
he's just being ornery. I think he's got a grandson who's autistic.
C.J.
Oh, holy hell. Tell Josh. Find out for sure.
DONNA
Yeah.
CUT TO: INT. THE PRESIDENT'S DINING ROOM - NIGHT
Bartlet and Leo are having dinner. The steward is with them, while Leo talks on the phone.
STEWARD
More brandy, sir?
BARTLET
Nah, I'm fine.
STEWARD
I hope the First Lady's not feeling ill this evening.
BARTLET
No, she's up at the Manchester house.
STEWARD
Very good, sir.
BARTLET
No, it really sucks, but thanks.
STEWARD
Yes, sir. [walks off]
BARTLET
Did you hear that? He said, "Very good, sir". Where do they learn that?
LEO
Yeah. [to Bartlet] I'm sorry?
BARTLET
Nothing.
LEO
[into phone] I'm sure that was moved for a reason. We're prepping for a G-8 with Barney,
and we're going to Tel Aviv.
BARTLET
I just feel like we don't talk anymore.
LEO
[into phone] Tel Aviv's the week after. [to Bartlet] What?
BARTLET
See you're not even listing.
LEO
[into phone] Ben, let me call you back. What's your problem?
BARTLET
I'm just saying we work all day, and then the day's over, and we go out to dinner and
you're still working, and you know, I'm sitting here. No time to talk.
LEO
You know, conversations like this, are the reason I got divorced.
BARTLET
No, it's not. [clears his throat]
LEO
[whispering] Sir... what's wrong?
BARTLET
I made...
The steward enters.
LEO
Uh... I'm fine, Billy.
The steward turns and exits.
BARTLET
I made a deal with Abbey... 'cause of my thing.
LEO
One term?
BARTLET
[nods] My thing, by the way, is the reason that Hoynes stepped up on oil.
LEO
'Cause he thinks maybe...
BARTLET
Yeah.
LEO
It was three years ago. She can't expect...
His cell phone rings.
LEO
[into phone] Yeah. Yeah. [to Bartlet] It's C.J. Stackhouse has an autistic grandson.
BARTLET
[sighs] Let's go.
LEO
[into phone] C.J., we're coming up.
CUT TO: INT. OUTER OVAL OFFICE - NIGHT
C.J. and Donna enter.
C.J.
Charlie?
CHARLIE
He's just coming over.
C.J.
Thanks. Can we wait?
CHARLIE
Yeah. Look, C.J., one of us is going to have to tell the President that the statue's
broken.
C.J.
It's not broken.
CHARLIE
It is broken.
DONNA
She Krazy Glued it back together.
CHARLIE
You Krazy Glued it?
C.J.
I didn't know what it was. I needed a potpourri holder. I have the ancient curse of Bast
on me so get off my back, Sparky.
CHARLIE
Okay, but when you tell him I'd leave out the Krazy Glue.
C.J.
And the potpourri, right?
CHARLIE
Yeah. Here we go.
CUT TO: INT. WHITE HOUSE PORTICO - CONTINUOUS
BARTLET
How does he not just tell me?
LEO
Sir...
Bartlet and Leo enter THE OVAL OFFICE.
BARTLET
How does he not come to me and say "Jed, this is my grandson and there are lots more like
him and there are lots more to come. Can you help us out?"
LEO
Because he...
BARTLET
Damn it. He knows we would have gotten it done. Why doesn't he tell me?
LEO
Because he doesn't want to make political hay out of his grandson, which is commendable.
BARTLET
Nah, he's a crank.
C.J.
Good evening, Mr. President.
BARTLET
Hey. Hey Donna, you need something?
C.J.
Donna's the one who started sniffing around it.
BARTLET
C.J., that phone message was for real. He's not going to stop till he drops.
C.J.
He might.
BARTLET
C.J., let me tell you something. Don't ever, ever underestimate the will of a
grandfather. We're mad men. We don't give a damn. We got here before you and they'll
be here after. We'll make enemies, we'll break laws, we'll break bones but you will
not mess with the grandchildren.
LEO
There was quite a bit of sugar in the crčme de caramel.
C.J.
Yeah.
BARTLET
C.J.... If I told you to screw the print deadline what would you want to do right now?
C.J.
I'd want to see if there's a way I could help him out.
BARTLET
Give him some dignity right? And give him a rest. The guy's going to collapse out there.
C.J.
Yes, sir.
BARTLET
Screw the print deadline. Leo?
LEO
Look...
BARTLET
We will talk about the other thing later.
LEO
I'm just asking how we're going to do this.
DONNA
Excuse me?
LEO
The Chairman's going to gavel him off if he stops talking or sits.
Donna, holds up her hand, like in school.
DONNA
Excuse me?
LEO
[amazed] What are you doing?
DONNA
I didn't know if I'm supposed to...
LEO
We usually don't raise our hands.
BARTLET
Though it's not the worst idea in the world.
DONNA
The Senator's allowed to yield for a question without yielding the floor.
LEO
What do you mean?
DONNA
He's allowed to yield for a question without yielding the floor.
C.J. and Leo turn to Bartlet.
BARTLET
I was in the House. I know nothing about Senate rules.
DONNA
Yes sir, but Josh does, and he likes to explain things, and, well, I let him.
C.J.
I'm pretty sure it's true, sir.
BARTLET
What time is it? Let's wake up a parliamentarian.
LEO
Yeah, but the problem is the only people who ask questions are Senators.
BARTLET
We're going to get one of them to walk in there. Charlie!
LEO
The Senate wants to go home. They want a vote.
CHARLIE
Yes, sir?
BARTLET
I want to call Senators. We'll start with our friends. When we're done with those two,
we'll go on to the other 98.
CHARLIE
Yes, sir.
C.J.
Charlie!
CHARLIE
Yes, ma'am.
C.J.
Start with the grandfathers.
CHARLIE
Yes, ma'am.
BARTLET
There's no damn holiday for us either.
LEO
We'll be in the dining room.
BARTLET
C.J., no kidding, make this happen.
C.J.
Yes, sir. [quietly] Oh and, I broke you're statue.
DONNA
I don't think he heard you.
C.J.
No.
CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - NIGHT
Hoynes and his staff walking through the hall.
STAFFER
The water peaked at 3690 feet last month because of an uncontrolled release from Lake
Powell.
HOYNES
You mean the uncontrolled release of Lake Powell.
STAFFER
I suppose.
HOYNES
I am going home.
STAFFER
Good night, sir.
HOYNES
Good night.
TOBY
[walks up] Mr. Vice President?
HOYNES
Didn't I do it right?
TOBY
No, sir, you did it very well. I appreciate it.
HOYNES
Yeah.
TOBY
I'm sure you know I was curious about why you'd volunteer for something like that.
HOYNES
Yeah.
TOBY
So I got ahold of some private polling you've had done.
HOYNES
Oh. Yeah?
TOBY
A significant number of people are concerned over your close ties to big oil.
HOYNES
Well, not anymore.
TOBY
Yeah, but what I was wondering was why did you put the poll in the field at all?
Mr. Vice President, what do you know that I don't?
HOYNES
Toby, the total tonnage of what I know that you don't could stun a team of oxen in its
tracks. Good night.
Hoynes steps into his car, and leaves Toby standing.
C.J. [VO]
And then came the big moment, Dad. Everyone...
CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE - NIGHT
The staff throughout the building are frantically calling Senators.
JOSH [VO]
Everyone was enlisted. You called whoever you had a relationship with...
SAM [VO]
...with and if you didn't get anywhere, they got a call from the President.
C.J.
[on phone] Do I have your word on that, Sarah?
JOSH [VO]
We'd been at it 20 minutes and we were coming up with...
SAM [VO]
...nothing, until...
C.J.
Got it!
Everybody gathers into the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE to watch the television.
SAM [VO]
Senator Tom Grissom of Washington State was headed from his office...
C.J. [VO]
...to the Chamber and everybody started flooding into the Communications Bullpen to see
what would happen, the problem being of course...
SAM [VO]
...that Stackhouse would have to know as much about rules and procedures as Donna had
and not think we were trying to screw him.
JOSH [VO]
We stared at 14 different television sets while calculating in our heads the time it
would take Grissom to walk from his office...
C.J. [VO]
...to the floor and we were in frozen silence while we listened to the rules of blackjack.
STACKHOUSE [on T.V.]
...unless you are counting cards.
C.J. [VO]
And then it happened.
TOM GRISSOM [on T.V.]
Point of order, Mr. Chairman.
CHAIRMAN [on T.V.]
Mr. Grissom?
GRISSOM [on T.V.]
Will the Senator yield for a question?
SAM
Come on.
CHAIRMAN [on T.V.]
Mr. Stackhouse?
JOSH
Come on.
BARTLET
Trust me just this once, you grouchy old son of a bitch.
STACKHOUSE [on T.V.]
Mr. Chairman, I yield to the Senator from Washington for a question.
GRISSOM [on T.V.]
My question is in 22 parts and might take quite a while. Perhaps you'd like to sit and
have some water while I ask it.
The place explodes with cheers. C.J. makes her way to the HALLWAY.
C.J. [VO]
And that was it. Grissom gave him a rest and an opportunity to answer some real questions
about autism, and when Grissom was done, McNamara took over, and after McNamara came
Gianelli, grandfathers all. I'm going to have to finish this up now and go into the
press room and explain what happened...
In the PRESS BRIEFING ROOM, C.J. steps to the podium to answer questions.
C.J. [VO]
There'll be no vote tonight and the Senate will go home...
JOSH [VO]
...for the week. And since Stackhouse, with our help, blew the print deadline anyway,
there's really no reason...
SAM [VO]
...for Josh not to go back to the Conference Chairman and reopen the bill.
C.J. [VO]
There are so many days here where you can't imagine that anything good will ever happen.
You're...
Later, C.J. walks to her OFFICE and gets a high five from Carol.
JOSH [VO]
You're buried under a black fog of partisanship and self promotion and...
Josh and Donna sit in JOSH'S OFFICE sharing a beer. While Toby sits alone in his OFFICE
bouncing his rubber ball on the wall.
SAM [VO]
...stupidity and a brand of politics that's just plain mean...
Bartlet and Leo sit and talk in the OVAL OFFICE before we cut to C.J. wrapping up her
e-mail in her OFFICE.
C.J. [VO]
Yes, Hoynes had us nervous with his admonishment of big oil and yes, the President was
making us nervous too, but that's for tomorrow 'cause tonight I've seen a man with no
legs stay standing, Dad, and a guy with no voice keep shouting and if politics brings out
the worst in people then maybe people bring out the best 'cause I'm looking at the T.V.
right now and damned if 28 U.S. Senators haven't just walked onto the floor to help. I'll
catch the first plane out in the morning and if you wouldn't mind not turning 70 until
tomorrow that'd be great. In the meantime, I love you so much. Your daughter, Claudia.
DISSOLVE TO: END TITLES.
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END
* * *
The West Wing and all its characters are properties of Aaron Sorkin, John Wells
Production, Warner Brothers Television, and NBC. No copyright infringement is intended.
Episode 2.17 -- "The Stackhouse Filibuster"
Original Airdate: March 14, 2001, 9:00 P.M. EST
[Mar 6,2008 4:11pm - thegreatspaldino ""]
the only way i can do sit ups is if some sweaty guy bends over in front of me
[Mar 6,2008 4:12pm - the_reverend ""]
RULE # 34: For the Soul Equation, which works similar to relativity or/and pressure or/and resistance to pressure, in computing STR of NEW (compressed) soul in terms of # of souls; but, first, note that Palestinians, who would get C3, which is a unit that is 1 less than that of the Israelis, who would get C2. So, if an average Israeli would get a 10 to 20 C2, {C3 for the aged}, then an average Palestinian would get a 5 to 20 {C3 to C4}, C3 for the elite such as elite soldiers & scientists & engineers, and C4 for non-elite (lower class: C4 to C5 for the aged). Note that C3 = C2^LOG10(C2) = C3. So, then, the for # of workers needed to make a nuclear bomb: (Human) soul vs. (another human) soul: Z^[-X + (((C2, larger value) - (C2, smaller value))^(1/{D=2}))] @ DP, where D = dimension, such as D = 2 for parts of surface area of a planet, which the above equation would have effect on, which changes to D = 3 for parts of entire planet on a 3 dimensional scale for a planet rather than its surface area, where D = 2, and where base = Z = # of stats = 10 represents Binary Logic of TL, while base = 2.72 represents Fuzzy Logic of mutant power(s), in computing STR of NEW (compressed) soul in terms of # of souls, and where X = 1 = LOG10(Y), where Y = 10% uncertainty. This equation should only be used @ C2 DP; if it’s used @ C1 DP, this equation changes to cloning equation; and, if it’s used @ C3 DP, it becomes a death-reincarnation equation. This equation is meant be used only @ C2 DP to measure # of lesser souls occupying a greater soul, manifesting as a body, sort of like in the movie series, “Nightmare on Elm Street”. A male Israeli @ 20.5878 C2 = 14 C1 DP & a Palestinian @ 14.6094 C2 = 12 C1 DP, the male Israeli’s soul would be @ 10^[-1 + 2.445] =10^1.445 = 27.8x that of his foe’s soul, sort of like [similar to relativity, such where gravity being +/-[5^2]x more for every 5 C1 increment or/and decrement WHEN C1 = OR GREATER THAN 60, while +/-[5]x for every 5 C1 increment or/and decrement WHEN C1 LESS THAN 60], using binary logic. On C1 scale, it’s 10^[-1 + (((C1, larger value) - (C1, smaller value))^(1/2))] @ DP = 10^[-1 + 1.414] = 2.6x that of his foe’s soul for the average male Israeli. You can use this equation to figure out # of men or persons needed to construct an A-bomb, assuming they are @ uniform skill(s). You can, also, use it for the fictional character GLOVE in the ‘80s cartoon series “Bionic Six”, where you’d put GLOVE @ 16 to 25 C1 DP, while, Glove’s boss & leader, Scarab is @ 25 to 36 C1 DP, where Scarab would be @ 18 CA DP = 37.65 C1 DP = 304 C2 DP; each member of the Bionic Six would be @ between 36 C2 DP < 6 AMBS > & 49 C2 DP < 7 AMBS >; while, the Professor would be @ = 25 C1 DP = 90 C2 DP = 6,592 C3 DP. But, there seems to be some discrepancies by or according to RULE # 28. Look @ RULE # 69, # 97, # 174, # 203, & # 350.
[Mar 6,2008 4:21pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
Clearly this is vital to understanding the rest of it.
[Mar 6,2008 4:27pm - diarrhea_blumpkin ""]
my vagina smells like a penis
[Mar 6,2008 4:50pm - the_reverend ""]
rule #34 was different last time I looked at it.
[Mar 6,2008 5:15pm - DomesticTerror ""]
who's in guitar world, and where's the thread that cheesed junior off?
[Mar 6,2008 5:18pm - SkinSandwich ""]
In 1938, Hitler was chosen as Time Magazines "Man of the year"
[Mar 6,2008 5:20pm - brian_dc ""]
who cares...it's a fucking huge c+p party in here!
[Mar 6,2008 5:39pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""]
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:it doesn't get to me that bad if you guys didn't get so pissy when its you on the receiving end of the trashing.The only hole I'm gonna dig is the grave for you and your faggy bandmates. Go shove dildoes in your ass again fag.
That was Rich Horror's ass, not mine. But if you don't put dildos in your ass you're a faggot, faggot. I hope you're digging my grave free of charge, because I don't believe in paying for funerals.
[Mar 6,2008 6:18pm - diarrhea_blumpkin ""]
if i shove a tampon in my ass and then go swimming it feels like my uncle
[Mar 6,2008 7:14pm - kadooganism ""]
hahaha yes no one pays attention
[Mar 6,2008 7:15pm - diarrhea_blumpkin ""]
im in photoshop class,,,,
my bung needs tonguing
[Mar 6,2008 7:38pm - kadooganism ""]
I'm just gonna let this keep going 'til someone notices...
[Mar 6,2008 7:45pm - diarrhea_blumpkin ""]
i did...
[Mar 6,2008 7:47pm - kadooganism ""]
if an average black man is @ 30 C3 DP = 16.42 C2 DP, then the Confederate States be @ 900 C3 DP
[Mar 7,2008 4:21am - DaveFromTheGrave ""]
[QUOTE="DestroyYouAlot:730920"]Rule # 551: I NEVER (except once, but even that they managed to leave out the worst bits) hear of any news of any crimes committed by USA by the American news media, unless I research it through google or/and watch the history channel, which even that they imply it but NEVER directly state it, else fear of reprisal from the Pentagon, as happened to CNN, for a decade, after Gulf War I. Most current example would be Iraqis INDIRECTLY telling the USA you can have our oil, but stop bombing us, as well as the internal religious & cultural strife between the 3 different ethnic groups, same as in Yugoslavia, where it was about mineral rights by USA companies rather than about oil, allowing USA to legitimize and legalize through UN the illegal aggression against a NON-threatening nation by USA, which the USA feeds on, the old tactic of divide & conquer they learned from Britain, which divided Iraq & Kuwait, which resulted in the Gulf War I & II, which is manifested in the so-called free elections, which legitimize USA aggression of taking over a sovereign country for its oil, which few seem to notice that the Gulf War I & II was about oil & the Euro, and it NOTHING to do with WMD, since the top Iraqi scientists had IQ of someone with an Associate degree in physics, which is enough to understand the basics, but NOT enough to build all the complex parts, why Iraq needed help from the French. Most commonly used tactic of trolls is to call (a) NON-troll(s) (a) troll(s), sort of like Capitalists were calling Communists evil, when both were same: what was happening was that 2 super trolls fighting each other for supremacy. And, Negative Energy is so powerful that it takes an entire society to stop a troll, sort of like 1 bad fruit can ruin all the good fruits in a basket. And, there seems to be levels of trolls, from the most vicious to the average: society seems to be infected with them, mostly average, which seem to be controlled by the few, who are most evil & vicious. The amount of Negative Energy it takes to control society or/and escape laws of society is proportional to amount of energy needed to bypass laws of physics, in what is commonly understood as the light barrier, escaping it allows FTL, time & dimensional travel, by excessively manipulating Negative Energy, which in the/this 2nd example: I don’t mean psychology, but in manner of accumulating science TL in similar way excess greed would accumulate wealth, power, resources, & fame, which where US(A) Presidents have a nasty habit of having ulterior evil motives for their so-called good deeds, some form of imperialism.
Rule # 550: There are 5 parts to this rule. Based on my Rule # 3 & Rule # 6, this: {(0,0) END} is a human, usually a male human, at least in this rpg HYBRID, since women are too complicated to make in my rpg, since creating women in my rpg requires politically incorrect math, but to return to what I was saying before I digressed, is as follows: although I’m using the {(x,y) END} from Champions/Hero to illustrate a point that being {(0,0) END} ought to be for a human, usually a male human, at least in rpg HYBRID. The variable (y) which in Champions/Hero is/was meant to define LS in terms of “END” @ some fraction that of default LS, which its C# depends on the character, better to use C2, since it will give greater LS or Life Span, but less C2 PL or Power Level, if the original C# had been C1 in terms of C2 before using the ˝ which will then @ C2 increase PL to 98 C2 which is NOT mutant power but what C2 value for IQ, which is NOT what IQ is @ 98, but IQ is 260 @ 98 C2, which is then reduced to get mutant power(s). If the original C# had been C1 rater than C2, #s for both being different of course, then LS @ C1 would be 10 rather than 20, if starting default LS or 0 END had been @ 20 C1, then PL would increase to 20x2 = 40 C1 rather than 49x2 = 98 C2, but LS or Life Span using C1 is ˝ the C2, meaning manipulating points @ C1, gives a 10 C1 LS rather than a 49/2 = 24.5 C2, which is a 15 C1 by X^LOG10(X), where 20 C1 = 49 C2 and 15 C1 = 24 C2, approximately. The ˝ is or was supposed to be ˝ of C2 for LS or Life Span, but somewhere along the line, it seems to have gotten mistranslated into ˝ END, @ -1 limitation for default Life Span, giving a +1 advantage for Power Level for the mutant, which coincidently is similar to the way it works in my rpg HYBRID, where I’d multiply default PL by 2x, reducing LS by 2x, by multiplying LS by ˝, allowing one to multiply PL by 2x, but it is difficult to explain why it’s similar, either coincidence or/and more than a coincidence, but then again, I was thinking about END in 1987, as its important in the scheme of things, that of MU TSR rpg which, later, I made it to be @ C2, for its health stat, which is usually @ C2, a conclusion I came up with in the 1990s, which is different from the Karma stats, which usually are @ C1, although Intuition can be @ C2 if poorly defined or/and if poorly used, but Intuition that of the MU mutant humanoid female character Destiny has her Intuition @ either C2 or C1, NOT sure, since it depends on how you interpret that female character, if she’s scamming you or/and if she’s for real, although even if she’s scamming her victims @ C2, she can be or/and still is very effective, and if her Intuition is @ C1 PL, then you can interpret that character as you like, although if her psychic powers is that of the MU Purple Man, then her Intuition is @ C2, rather than C1 PL, which is more like that of Dr Doom, before I even discovered to come up with a stat called LS or Life Span, which, for this example, is ˝ C2 of original default Life Span, in order to increase PL or Power Level by factor of 2x. The reason it has to be a limitation is for PL or Power Level to have an advantage, the LS or Life Span must take on the -1 limitation, which is ˝ C2 for Life Span, which original was @ 0 END or @ default, whatever value it was @ for that mutant. In Champions/Hero rpg, END (0, ˝) USUALLY APPLIES TO MUTANTS AND means that person starts @ 0, which is NOT a value of 0, but meaning default, THEN if the character is a mutant, but he must be a mutant in order for him to have the or/and be @ ˝, which is what his mutant power level will by @ after his IQ is reduced after his IQ is increased by +1 advantage, meaning his C2 will double or increase by factor of 2x, which is then reduced to ˝ advantage or ˝ limitation from his 2nd 0 END, which is his NEW PL after having his PL increased due to his LS or Life Span decreased, such for a character such as the MU Spiderman, allowing him to increase his PL or Power Level @ C2 by factor of 2x with advantage of +1, which @ C2 for IQ is increased to which must be decreased to have mutant power(s), the more he decreases his IQ, the more power(s) he gets, and NOTE that he already starts with a larger LS or Life Span than an average adult male human, allowing him to decrease his LS to human levels, which in turn will increase his PL, and since his PL is, also, greater than average adult male human, his PL will increase even more, with his LS decreased: this all can be reversed to apply for PL (rather than LS) @ C2 of ˝ its original value @ -1 limitation, which will increase LS by a factor of 2x which is +1 advantage, to increase LS @ C2 by factor of 2 by advantage of +1, which is NOT usually done, since mutants usually crave power(s) rather than longevity or/and longer life span: this is NOT the rule itself, but a little background information on what I’m about to say after my next comment, which will also serve as a little extra background information on what I’ll say later, in a brief moment, after this brief commentary to serve as a little background information on what I’ll say later so that it’s NOT taken out of context. NOTE that default has multiple values, depending on if it’s fixed or NOT, both can take on the concept/term of 0 END, which is term from Hero & its predecessor, Champions rpg: this is a side note & NOT the rule itself: a little background information. The Psyche stat for the MU character Dark Phoenix is within a range of 30 to 40 C1 Default Psyche, with Phoenix being @ 20 to 30 C1 DP, with Jean Grey’s powers @ 20 C1 DP, although she isn’t @ that, since her COM is that of a woman & NOT a guy, but getting back to what I was saying that being Dark Phoenix’s creator, Professor X is @ 49 or 50 C1 Default Psyche. The ’86 MU TSR rpg creates an interesting paradox with the MU character Dark Phoenix which is NOT what this rule is about but serves as background to what I’ll say later. The purpose of why the ’86 MU TSR rpg killed the Dark Phoenix off, temporarily, because she maximized her stats, lowering her Life Span to increase her Power Level, besides Xaiver NO longer wanting her give Jean Grey extra powers, where she was acting as herald for Xavier, similar to way Norinn Radd acted as herald for Galacuts, but getting back to what I was saying about the Dark Phoenix getting killed off temporarily because she maximized her stats, based on combination of 3 (three) things: [{X^LOG10(X) @ C1} for X @ C2], in conjunction with Rule # 3 & Rule # 6}, meaning her unusually high stats can be explained away with the/my original equation X^LOG10(X), using Rule # 3 & Rule # 6: this will serve as background to what I’m about to say. The purpose of my grandiose statement in Part II of this rule is NOT to reveal how pretentious I seem to be, but to reveal how all rpgs can be reduced to 2 recursive equations, like the 2 blades on a helicopter: major equation being X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X for point distribution & the minor equation being X^LN(X) for some of its properties @ C# for X, although you can define the properties, using the original X^LOG10(X), without having to rely on its minor sibling equation X^LN(X), and/but relying too heavily on X^LN(X) is NOT good idea, to rely too heavily on it, that is, since you might end up with similar problem if the equation had been instead X^2, since the X is based on the equation X^LOG10(X), which is the main equation for point distribution @ C#. This equation could just as well be written as X^2, as the recursive equation, instead, for point distribution, but X^2 would NOT give the correct point distribution used by the other rpgs, except @ LOG10(100), FOR EXPONENT, = 2, although it does give some interesting results to ponder, and/but if I were to use X^2, then I’d have to rewrite most of my rules: which I don’t want to, NOR feel like it, and besides it would move me away from my main objective which is to have a 1 page rpg, which can be done with Rule # 3 & Rule # 6, & the 2 simple recursive equations just mentioned above, X^LOG10(X) & X^LN(X) @ C# for X, for point distribution. The odd thing about Part 2 of this rule is that even my favorite colors which changed over time seem to reflect comic books characters, is an example of Maxwell’s equation of time travel. There are 4 parts to this rule. The DC character Spectre is an extreme version of the 2nd part of this rule, that being Maxwell’s equation of time travel, which in terms of MU is Captain Universe, when Spiderman was taken over by Captain Universe when he was taken to the micro-verse [subatomic universe of MU] by the subatomic MU character Fear, which is what’s to come in Part 2, but I didn’t supply an/any example, which is what I just said. For Part 1, then, the first modification to make to the Fibonacci # is TO add LOG10(% of accuracy of TL). But, even before that, one must NOTE THAT THE C# has properties similar to gravity, in that both are recursive, and using the Fibonacci series on C# doesn’t always give you the correct TL # @ that C# when computing TL based on C#, since taking root Y, based on some Fibonacci #, which has to be modified, but when C# is small, that modification isn’t too great NOR too complicated. And, just like laws of physics break down when gravity is too intense inside singularity, but @ same time within some universal set of physics, similarly, if one could figure out the correct modification to the Fibonacci # that one could apply to C# to figure out Y root of C#, he could figure TL, even with a large C#, which will eventually give an even larger C#, when # in C# is very large, but both my lat former & latter comment are different, regarding #, which are of 2 types, being (# C#), which might be said or/and written as (# @ C#), in which there are 2 types of #s. And, a value of 10 C in the ’86 MU TSR rpg is 10 C0, both being @ a unitless unit, where 10 is a neutral value, until, a proper unit is assigned, same with Champions / Hero, which have inconsistent units of magnitudes, similar mistake that the ’86 MU TSR rpg make, perhaps it used Maxwell’s time travel equation to steal my ideas from the future, since it, the ’86 MU TSR rpg lacks the proper unit of magnitude, the only way that can happen is if it’s stolen my ideas, unless it is intentionally keeping out the proper units of magnitude from the public, for some unknown reason, maybe for same Reason that Nostradamas was vague, but @ same time was a fraud when it came to chemistry, but was @ same time genius when it came to predicting future events, unless it was based on some other book, that being the bible code, which IF true is based on Maxwell’s equation of time travel, same way these other rpgs are stealing my ideas before I have chance to invent it & claim it as their own even though it’s probably NOT their own, but probably mine, since fragments of many (close to all) of my ideas which I independently discover without any outside resource shows up in different rpgs, as well as in recent scientific discoveries, predicted 1st by my rpg HYBRID & its equations & algorithms, including the many recent discoveries also predicted by my rpg HYBRID & its equations & algorithms, predictions such as that of there being microscopic black-holes, is based on my recursive equation X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, IF I DO NOT SOUND PRETENTIOUS, then, also, the super computers is, also, based on my recursive equation of X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, as well as teleportation that the pentagon is researching into is based on my recursive equation X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, & creating a viable human from an egg without a sperm, is based on my recursive equation X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, my idea(s), where the sperm(s) has/have a parasitic propert(y/ies), because the male human has LESS points than the human female, is how the 2 genders operate: why, animals within the same specie look alike, and difference in appearance is between differing species is just topology, but similarities between the 2 genders within the same specie look alike for reason that since difference in points for the 2 genders are close to being similar for animals, although ratio is never @ 1:1, else THEN reproduction would be difficult @ 1:1 ratio, but NOT impossible, but possible, depending on, again, my major recursive equation X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, and its minor sibling equation X^LN(X) @ C# for X, but the female will always get more points than the male, UNLESS the male is a mutant, but he must NOT looked deformed, but he looks deformed, he (mutant) to be superior must have hidden points, to be equal to a female; while, we humans are/look different in terms of appearance, since the human female has LOT MORE points than the human male, and being humanoid in shape, also, gives us more points, by simply having that humanoid shape, where the shape or/and topology of having a humanoid shape acts to reinforce the laws of conservation of mass & energy, according to math, since physics is based on math, why math is more gibberish than physics, which according to 1 theory, the universe before it created itself, scanned alternate timelines & picked 1, and created itself, BASED ON my 2 universal recursive equations: X^LOG10(X) & X^LN(X) @ C# for X, which it seems/looks to me that in my opinion the universe, reality, & all its dimensions that we live in & don’t perceive, its rules & laws, including laws of quantum mechanics & relativity that of Einstein, IS BASED ON my 2 universal recursive equations: X^LOG10(X) & X^LN(X) @ C# for X, why all rpgs have point distribution @ C#, based on X^LOG10(X), while 2nd minor equation X^LN(X) is just an extra equation to make sure that the other 1st major equation that of X^LOG10(X) is properly & efficiently used, where even history itself is based on my 2 universal recursive equations: X^LOG10(X) & X^LN(X) @ C# for X. So, in effect reality is based on my ideas or/and my rpg, HYBRID, which is what all rpgs are based on & all science, math & engineering is based on my 2 simple recursive equations: X^LOG10(X) & X^LN(X), including useful to fractals, including physical objects that look like or/and seem to be puzzles such as a Rubik cube or/and its manifestations, and everything else, including genders, including any & all science-fiction is based on these 2 equations of mine, which is what my rpg HYBRID is based. And, perhaps the first rpg that I read, the ’86 MU TSR rpg, was (it seems or perhaps it is: all my evidence points to this) based on my future rpg, HYBRID, that I would try to create in the 1990s, but is still incomplete, but as far as C# goes, it’s % of completion is [(year – 1990)^2] = % of completion for C#, but as far as myself having all the rules for manipulating C# is incomplete, but based on the equation 2 equations, major being @ X^LOG10(X), and its minor sibling being @ X^LN(X), since I’m NOT genius, and it would take a genius to complete all the rules. So, just as gravity can take on different values, so can C#, each being different, in terms of how dense or not it is for its point distribution. I will momentary digress with this brief statement that the unit of magnitude CA in my rpg HYBRID stands for CMagic, and as for the letter “C”, by itself would be written as C0, a neutral unit of magnitude being a unitless unit, meaning undefined as of yet, same as C#, is the quantum state but defined in some specific C# for point distribution, where C1 is less dense than CA, which is usually maximum value for the MU Beyonder. And, since there isn’t any entity or/and force more powerful than the Beyonder in any science-fiction, then the maximum unit of magnitude is CA. Now, to return to the rule itself: the unit of magnitude of C1 & CA which is used in my rpg, HYBRID, is coincidently proportional or/& similar to Mega-scale of Champions/Hero rpg, depending on how you wish to define Mega-scale, which can sometimes be defined as advantage or limitation or modifier or as a # of points, similar to its Real & Active points. And, for a human, C2 or/and C1 might be considered for the same purpose of magnifying results, by simply increasing unity by 1, by “increasing”: I mean decreasing # in C#, causing an increase in C#, by 1 unit of magnitude, which sounds like a paradox, but so is reality, which is a paradox, which is my original mutant equation of transforming an adult male human into a mutant, such as by changing his C2 to C1 as his 0 END, which only the GM can do, unless given the option, if he is already a mutant, such as Dr. Banner/ HULK or Peter Parker in Part II of Spiderman movie, where he lose his powers to increase his IQ, which he then later reduce to get back his powers. NOTE that 0 END is simply default stat(s), which can vary depending on IF it has been altered in some way, based on Rule # 3 & 6, which determine how much his Life Span can be reduced, so as to increase his PL or Power Level, where # END can take on 2 types of values, either what END (in terms of LS) is reduced to or is stated in terms of advantages or/& limitations, but the END when defined/stated as characteristic in Champions/ Hero is @ 0 END, sort of like when LS @ C# is reduced to ˝, same as ˝ END, so it has multiple meanings, although LS in terms of C#, is exponential, in terms of how C# is set up for Life Span & Po
post was too long read more at your own risk
[Mar 7,2008 6:33am - Troll ""]
CAPS LOCK
[Mar 7,2008 7:13am - fleshfries ""]
I felt I should post in this thread....ok all set.
[Mar 7,2008 9:47am - Karma-Enema ""]
PeteovDom said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:NO One on here is man enough to say anything? You all talk shit and then spit bullshit when you get called out on it.
this is probably KarmaEnema.
i dont fuckin think so....i will use my name if its me
i feel i've lost intelligence after reading some of this
[Mar 7,2008 10:15am - This_Is_Heresy ""]
Karma-Enema said:
PeteovDom said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:NO One on here is man enough to say anything? You all talk shit and then spit bullshit when you get called out on it.
this is probably KarmaEnema.
i dont fuckin think so....i will use my name if its me
i feel i've lost intelligence after reading some of this
Must be in the red now...
[Mar 7,2008 11:06am - DestroyYouAlot ""]
His Charisma isn't looking so hot, either.
DUMP STATS, LOL
[Mar 7,2008 11:49am - This_Is_Heresy ""]
Bet thats the last time he rolls a troll!
ZING!
[Mar 7,2008 12:18pm - infect sli sli sli ""]
none of my bands will ever be in guitar world *sigh*
[Mar 7,2008 5:04pm - yummy ""]
kadoogan, this would have been better if you kept it going longer just so everyone could cry.
[Mar 7,2008 6:27pm - make love to me ""]
HOBBY ROCKERS!!
[Mar 7,2008 9:29pm - NIGGER ""]
JEWS RUN AMERICA
RON PAUL QUIT
WHITEY'S DEAD
BLACK POWER!
[Mar 8,2008 10:48am - kadooganism ""]
yummy said:kadoogan, this would have been better if you kept it going longer just so everyone could cry.
I kinda wish I did. Oh well. Just be on yer toes, people...
[Mar 8,2008 12:41pm - immortal13 ""]
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:At least Bob Rooney has the balls to use his real name. Too bad none of you are untouchable, none of you. The internet only hides you for so long.
To do the same thing as dude from LAZ:
Hey I'm Greg. I play bass for The Summoned and I live in Merrimack, NH. I'd put my street address up but then the Reverend might come try to molest me or something. If you feel you have to let us know the internet can only hide me for so long and feel like making threats, send me a PM and I'll give you my address, and I'll just sit there waiting.
Or you can just stop being a pussy and take your lectures elsewhere to a convention of people that like lectures.
[Mar 8,2008 2:03pm - NIGGER ""]
YOU ARE ALL VERY WHITE
I MEAN WEAK
WHATEVER
BLACK POWER!
[Mar 8,2008 9:40pm - diarrhea_Blumpkin nli ""]
immortal13 said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:At least Bob Rooney has the balls to use his real name. Too bad none of you are untouchable, none of you. The internet only hides you for so long.
To do the same thing as dude from LAZ:
Hey I'm Greg. I play bass for The Summoned and I live in Merrimack, NH. I'd put my street address up but then the Reverend might come try to molest me or something. If you feel you have to let us know the internet can only hide me for so long and feel like making threats, send me a PM and I'll give you my address, and I'll just sit there waiting.
Or you can just stop being a pussy and take your lectures elsewhere to a convention of people that like lectures.
lulz...read kadoogans posts from this thread
[Mar 9,2008 11:54am - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
immortal13 said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:At least Bob Rooney has the balls to use his real name. Too bad none of you are untouchable, none of you. The internet only hides you for so long.
To do the same thing as dude from LAZ:
Hey I'm Greg. I play bass for The Summoned and I live in Merrimack, NH. I'd put my street address up but then the Reverend might come try to molest me or something. If you feel you have to let us know the internet can only hide me for so long and feel like making threats, send me a PM and I'll give you my address, and I'll just sit there waiting.
Or you can just stop being a pussy and take your lectures elsewhere to a convention of people that like lectures.
I WILL FUCK YOU UP WITH AN 8 BALL IN A SOCK 4 RLZ
[Mar 9,2008 11:59am - thuringwethil ""]
bennyhillifier
[Mar 9,2008 12:05pm - deadlikemurf ""]
rick roll'd
[Mar 9,2008 1:26pm - Karma-Enema ""]
This_Is_Heresy said:
Karma-Enema said:
PeteovDom said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:NO One on here is man enough to say anything? You all talk shit and then spit bullshit when you get called out on it.
this is probably KarmaEnema.
i dont fuckin think so....i will use my name if its me
i feel i've lost intelligence after reading some of this
Must be in the red now...
hmmmm???
in the red? maybe a little annoyed that someone so obtuse could be confused with me . but then again i have a history of saying "4 RLZ" and making internet threats .
[Mar 9,2008 2:13pm - brian_dc ""]
This was all real and not a joke
Continue fucking yourselves with sticks and crying
[Mar 9,2008 4:40pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
REAL AS I WANNA BE
[img]
[Mar 9,2008 6:19pm - deadlikemurf ""]
The first inhabitants of the Czech lands were prehistoric fish. That's because the country, at the time, was covered by a prehistoric ocean - thanks to which it is possible to find some very nice fossils of trilobytes in the Czech Republic today.
Today's Czech Republic was later populated by dinosaurs of all sorts, and later by neanderthals and even by mammoths. The prehistoric settlement of the present-day Czech Republic by people culminated in the fourth century B.C. with the arrival of the Celts, the first modern human inhabitants of this territory that we know of. In fact, the Latin name for the Czech lands, "Boiohaemum" (Bohemia), is derived from the name of the Boii Celtic tribe; and the Czech name for the Moldau River (which flows through the capital city of Prague) is Vltava - which is said to come from the Celtic "Vlt" meaning wild, and "Va" meaning water.
The Czech Celts were in part chased out of the region and in part assimilated by the next peoples to inhabit the area: the Germanic Marcomanni and Quadi tribes from the west and the Romans from the south. (The Romans didn't actually occupy Czech territory - they only got as far north as the Danube River, which flows from Germany - through Austria along its border with Slovakia - and then over to Hungary before continuing on to Yugoslavia, and so just misses the Czech lands.) During the Migration of Peoples - roughly from the 3d to the 7th centuries AD - Slav colonization spread westward from the Steppes of the East (probably from Panonia) all the way to the territory of the present-day Czech Republic and up to Poland and down again to Yugoslavia. From probably the sixth century AD on, the Slavic peoples settled, in several waves of migration, into the regions which had been conveniently abandoned by the Germanic tribes.
This is the way that it all came to be - according to popular Czech legend: Once upon a time there were three brothers: Czech, Lech and Rus. One day, they decided to find a new place to live, and so they and their tribes set out on a journey. They got as far as the Dnieper River when Rus said, "This is the place for me and my tribe!" and there the Russians stayed. Czech (who is known as "Praotec Cech," or Ancestor Czech in these parts) and Lech continued. Soon, they came upon a rich land overflowing with milk and honey and Czech climbed to the top of Rip hill in Bohemia and decided that this was the place for him and for his tribe. Lech and his people continued their journey and settled in present-day Poland. Other versions of the legend have 7 brothers in all, with the addition of other Slav nations like the Croats (who have a similar legend about 7 wandering brothers) and some others whose names are not remembered anymore. One modern interpretation of the story has the Czechs spending some time in Greece before finally heading north and settling, and this would actually conveniently explain the similarities between certain Czech legends (like that of Bruncvik's odyssey or of Sarka and her band of women warriors) with Greek ones.
Czech legend goes on to say that Cech's people were happy in the Czech lands, and after a few generations and some time had passed, the Slavs of Bohemia had a new leader - a guy by the name of Krok, who lived at Vysehrad (which means "high castle" and is today the site of the Czech National Cemetery). Probably the most important thing about Krok were his three very beautiful daughters, who were named Kazi, Teta and Libuse. The last of these, Libuse, had special powers which allowed her to see the future (Kazi, the oldest, was a healer who knew the secrets of the plants and herbs, while Teta was high priestess).
Libuse's talent came in particularly handy when it came time for her to marry. According to legend, she inherited rule over the Czech tribes from her father, Krok. As ruler of the lands, she was also the highest 'court of appeal' for disputes among the people. It is said that a guy who did not like one of her decisions as judge started a stink about the fact that the Czechs were ruled by a woman. And so Libuse had a vision - and sent her white horse, accompanied by a group of her subjects - to go out and find a guy ploughing in his field. After a journey of some days, the horse and the humans did indeed come upon just such a man (and nobody seemed surprised at all at this - neither the humans nor the horse nor even the man himself) and Przemysl Ploughman (Premysl Orac in Czech) came to Vysehrad and married Libuse and took over the job of ruling the unruly Czechs and he and Libuse together started the Przemyslid Dynasty, which ruled over the Czech lands till the 14th century.
One day, not long after the wedding, Libuse had a vision in which she foretold of the glory of the Czech capital. Standing atop Vysehrad hill, she went into a trance and told her vision to the people even as the gods sent it to her. She said that on the seven hills of Prague a fair city would grow, the fame of which would rise to the very stars. And all that she saw and all of which she foretold really came true. Of course!
Now, while Cech and Libuse are the stuff of imaginative Czech legend, it is believed that Samo - who may or may not have ruled this part of the world in the first half of the seventh century AD - was probably a real person. It's hard to tell, though, since nobody is sure of minor details like where Samo was from, where Samo lived, or where Samo ruled - if, that is, he existed at all. If he did, he is thought to have been a Frankish merchant who placed himself on the side of the Slavs against the wicked Avar tribes of Hungary. He is mentioned in early chronicles, where his address is given as Wogastisburg Fortress. Nobody today knows where this Wogastisburg Fortress was - but it's believed by Czechs to have stood on Rubin hill in Bohemia.
Wherever Samo's home base really was, his rule seems to represent the first successful attempt at uniting the Slavic tribes - and since the Slavs are not exactly known for their brotherly love for one another (then again, who in Europe is?), this was quite a feat. The reason for this unification under Samo was, predictably, quite pragmatic. The Slavic tribes cooperated in order to withstand attacks by the Avars, a powerful Asian tribe whose home was on the plains of Hungary.
At some point, Charlemagne joined in the battle against the Avars in this part of the world, cooperating either with Samo or with the state structure that came after him - the Great Moravian Empire.
Again, reports on the Great Moravian Empire are fuzzy. According to period chronicles, the people living along the Morava River at the time were already known as "Moravians," and their short-lived empire existed "somewhere" between today's Slovakia and Germany, and Poland and Austria (that is, somewhere in today's Czech Republic) in the 8th and/or 9th century. Just like Wogastisburg Fortress, it's claimed to have stood in different places by all the people who live in those different places.
At some time during the ninth century, Greater Moravia was ruled by the Moravian prince Svatopluk and had grown to include today's South Moravia, the southernmost bits of present-day Poland and Silesia, the western part of Hungary and, for a short time, the whole of Bohemia. Perhaps the most important thing about the Great Moravians is that theirs was the first legal sort of state structure in the area to accept Christianity, and the cultural development of the Greater Moravian Empire is inseparably linked to the spread of the eastern Byzantine liturgy of Sts Cyril and Methodius, who came to these parts in 863. They were invited by the Moravians - who were interested in Christianity but couldn't understand the language in which it was preached at the time. Cyril and Methodius were chosen for the mission because they understood and were able to speak in the Slavic tongue (again lending weight to the theory that the Slavs of these parts had not long before been spending some time in Greece).
Some buildings from around about this time still stand - mostly Romanesque basilicas like the one on Rip Hill (the very hill that Great-Granddad Czech liked so much!), at Vysehrad, in Prague's Old Town, and at other places. It was Cyril and Methodius, too, who brought the written word to the region (the Cyrillic alphabet is named for Cyril even though his real name was not Cyril but Constantine). The beginning of a written Slavic language was to be of enormous importance to Slavic nations in the Middle Ages. On the downside, the introduction of Christianity to this territory was so overwhelmingly successful that we know very little today about the pre-Christian religion of the pagan Slavs.
The Greater Moravian Empire disintegrated thanks to the Hungarian invasion of 903 or 904 and political intrigue in the early days of the Holy Roman Empire. After that, the Slavic mission in Moravia - which had been established by the missionaries Cyril and Methodius - collapsed, and the population reverted to tribal conditions. The Christian heritage of the Greater Moravian Empire, however, was to be preserved with the ascent of the Przemyslid dynasty to the throne of Bohemia.
The rise and fall of the Przemyslid Dynasty
With the Great Moravian Empire out of the way, the Przemyslid family succeeded in laying the foundations of a Czech state somewhere around the the end of the ninth century. They did this mostly by ridding themselves of all of the things that were standing in their way, like the Vrsovic and Slavnik clans - which the Przemyslids murdered in a particularly bloody manner. The only Vrsovec to escape the massacre of his family was Adalbert, but it didn't do him much good. Adalbert was so thankful for his salvation that he became a Christian missionary and headed northwest (to the area of today's northeast Germany) to spread the Word. No sooner did he arrive at his destination than he was brutally roasted and eaten by the inhabitants. Adalbert (or Vojtech, as he is known in Czech) is another of the Czech nation's patron saints today.
But Vojtech was not the only early Czech guy to be made a saint thanks to the Przemyslid's bloodthirstiness. On the contrary - the Przemyslid rulers were rather a mixed bag, and when they ran out of rival clans to murder, they started murdering each other - resulting in some more early saints for the Czechs.
Wenceslas I, the fourth Przemyslid Czech ruler, was made a saint soon after his murder in 929 or 935. This Wenceslas (in Czech, Vaclav) is the Good King Wenceslas of the Christmas carol, and it was during his reign that the Czech lands entered into an alliance with Saxony, thereby laying the foundations for closer relations with the restored Roman Empire.
This mischievous affability on Wenceslas' part towards the Czechs' western neighbors is a main reason that he was killed by his brother, who wasn't very good (in fact he is known as "Boleslav the Cruel.") Another reason might be that Boleslav was a pagan, and he felt that Wenceslas was frittering away too much time with this new Christian fashion he'd picked up -- though lust for power probably also played a role in Boleslav's motive for the murder, which took place at the very door of the church in Stara Boleslav, where Wenceslas was trying to seek refuge.
Incidentally, Boleslav and Wenceslas' Grandmother (on their father's side) was also murdered, and also made a saint. It is said that she was either smothered to death with a pillow or choked to death - this time, the killer was her daughter-in-law (Boleslav and Wenceslas' mother), and the motive was, again, power (Drahomira wanted to place Wenceslas on the throne.)
Things didn't get much better within the Przemyslid family, it is suspected that . Interestingly enough, the Przemyslids are remembered rather fondly in the Czech Republic today, as it seems that most people are blissfully unaware of the family's murderous streak.
Maybe that is because the Przemyslids occasionally took time off from their favorite sport to increase Bohemia's power and prestige. In typical early feudal fashion, this meant that they went out killing people in other countries instead, expanding their empire to Moravia and Silesia, as well as the upper reaches of the river Vistula and parts of western Slovakia. In Moravia, they set up a system of dukedoms, with the office of "Margrave" (ruler of Moravia) sometimes being held by the Bohemian Dauphin, sometimes by a rival for the Bohemian throne. In this way the Przemyslide dynastic killings were stayed, and both Bohemia and Moravia came to be regarded as hereditary lands of the Przemyslid dynasty. All the while, the expansion of the Przemyslid Dynasty's power went hand in hand with the spread of Christianity in the region.
This growing Przemyslide state maintained its sovereignty, though it formally recognized the feudal supremacy of the Roman-German Empire. The Czech lands ranked among the most advanced of the European feudal states, being at the forefront of economic power and cultural achievement at the time. In keeping with this growing importance, the territory was officially recognized through the granting of a royal crown to the Przemyslid Dynasty in the eleventh century (it was made hereditary in 1212 by the Golden Sicilian Bull) and the granting of the title of 'emperor' for Czech rulers.
The 1100s and 1200s were a very busy time in this part of Europe, and colonization, trade and cultural activity were steadily on the increase. Prague, which lay smack dab in the middle of several continental trade routes, flourished. Prague's Old Town was founded in 1234 as the first of Prague's five towns, and the Lesser Quarter was founded in 1257. Border forests were settled and towns and fortresses were founded and fortified. These sweeping changes literally transformed the country, and in keeping with these physical changes, the social structure of the territory also evolved. From about this time, aristocrats, burghers, and serfs were to be spotted in the Czech lands - as were German settlers, who were invited to colonize previously uninhabited (mostly border) regions of Bohemia and Moravia. The German settlers, whether burghers or peasants, did not form a homogeneous or politically separate group, and they soon became part of the local community, identifying with Czech statehood and sharing in the development of the Czech and Moravian lands as fully enfranchised members of the population, but mostly but keeping their native language (in addition to learning Czech.) Many, many, many, many centuries later, the places that they settled would come to be known as the "Sudetenland."
From the thirteenth century, the Czech kingdom was one of the most robust states in all of Europe, with a growing population and a vigorous economy. This, in turn, made the Czech nobility and rulers all the more rich and powerful, and enabled king Przemysl Otakar II to expand his territory rather extensively (if briefly). Otakar II was quite well-known in his time, and he even makes an appearance in Dante's Divine Comedy. Otokar II, also known as the "King of Gold and Iron" (because of his considerable wealth and his considerable military might) defeated the armies of the Hungarian king in 1256 and again in 1260. This military victory allowed him to annex the Alpine countries (today's Austria and beyond) - extending his territories all the way to the Adriatic Sea. Some people claim that this brief period - in which Bohemia controlled territory bordering on the sea - is the basis for Shakespeare's infamous 'Bohemian seacoast' from his play, "The Tempest."
Well, while the Czech lands were gaining power, prestige, oceanfront property and other things, a powerful rival appeared in Germany in the person of the newly-elected ruler of the Holy Roman Empire, Rudolf Habsburg - a member of a previously unimportant family from the Rhineland. This Rudolf formed an alliance of German princes and - after the Czech King Przemysl Otakar II was killed in battle in Moravia against the combined Roman and Hungarian forces on August 26, 1278 - Rudolf took possession of the abovementioned Alpine lands, which later became the basis of the Habsburgs' power - ie Austria.
The late Czech King Przemysl Otakar II was succeeded by his son, Wenceslas II (1278-1305). Under his reign, the mining of Czech silver at Kutna Hora and the minting of the Czech silver groschen - one of the hardest European currencies of the time - flourished. Wenceslas II also created a confederation between Bohemia and Poland. For a short time, Hungary - under the rule of Matthias Czak Trenciansky, who held absolute rule over most of Slovakia as well - also joined this confederation.
The Polish-Czech union was strengthened under the brief rule of Wenceslas III. Had it survived, it might have contributed to the creation of a more advanced region in Europe as the earlier Czech- Austrian union had. However, this was precluded by the death of young Wenceslas III (in 1306, when he was just 17 years old). Wenceslas III was the last male member of the Przemyslids line, and after his death the Czech-Polish union fell apart.
The Luxembourg Dynasty and
King Charles IV
With the demise of Wenceslas III, the last of the Przemyslid rulers of the Czech lands, the difficult question of who should rule next had to be answered. And answered it was - by 14-year-old John of Luxembourg, the first of the Luxembourgs to occupy the Czech throne (1310-1437). John of Luxembourg gained this position with the support of the Czech nobility by marrying 18-year-old Eliska Przemyslova, the sister of the late Wenceslas III.
Under John of Luxembourg's rule, more territories - including the regions of Cheb, Lusatia and Silesia - were joined to Bohemia. All of these regions together, under the rule of John of Luxembourg, came to be known as the "Lands of the Czech Crown." So you see, there never was an easy "one-word" way (like 'Czechia') to describe this part of the world, not even in way back in the 14th century.
John of Luxembourg was a good king, but he had a fatal weakness for chivalry, knighthood, honour - and especially, for battles. He loved to fight. When there weren't any battles in his immediate neighborhood, he went abroad to help his friends fight their battles. And so it happened that he fell at the battle of Crecy in 1346, fighting on the side of his French friend and distant relative Charles, against the Black Prince. And so he was succeeded by his young son, Charles IV.
Charles IV was just as noble - but much more practical than his caravanting father had been, and he took a keen interest in all aspects of rule over the Czech lands. Charles IV was not really named Charles. He was named Wenceslas IV - but he had been reared at the French court, and everyone there called him Charles, and so the name stuck. (His son, who succeeded him on the Czech throne, was also named Wenceslas IV, and this sometimes leads to some confusion.) When Charles IV came to power, he was still very young. Since he'd been raised in France, he didn't speak Czech. Wicked advisors surrounded the young king, and attempted to usurp the real rule of Bohemia while leaving young Charles IV in place as a figurehead.
Charles IV may have been young, but he was no dummy. He spoke 5 languages fluently (at a time when many crowned heads could not even read and write), and he was a masterful diplomat. He also had friends in high places - Pope Klement, who was elected during Charles IV's reign, had been the Czech sovereign's tutor at the court in Paris.
Young Charles IV saw through the transparent plans of the wicked advisors who surrounded him. He quickly learned Czech, and took over rule of his own land himself.
Charles IV was very clever, very devout, and very savvy. He was also a lover
post was too long read more at your own risk
[Mar 9,2008 8:26pm - Hoser ""]
Anus
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
This article needs additional citations for verification.
Please help improve this article by adding reliable references. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. (December 2007)
This article is about the bodily orifice. For other uses, see Anus (disambiguation).
Male Human Anatomy
Female Human AnatomyIn anatomy, the anus (from Latin ānus "ring (circle)[1][2], anus") is the external opening of the rectum. Closure is controlled by sphincter muscles. Feces are expelled from the body through the anus during the act of defecation, which is the primary function of the anus. Most animals — from simple worms to elephants and humans — have a tubular gut, with a mouth at one end and an anus at the other.
The anus plays a role in sexuality, though attitudes towards anal sex vary and it is even illegal in some countries. The anus is also the site of potential infections and other conditions including cancer. The subject is often considered a taboo part of the body, and is known by a large number of usually vulgar slang terms. The traditional polite synonym for anus was fundament, though this euphemism is rarely heard now that medical terms are widely acceptable.
Contents [hide]
1 Role in defecation
2 Role in sexuality
3 Puberty
4 Health
5 Cosmetics
6 Pathology
7 Additional images
8 See also
9 References
[edit] Role in defecation
Main article: Defecation
Intra-rectal pressure builds as the rectum fills with feces, pushing the feces against the walls of the anal canal. Contractions of abdominal and pelvic floor muscles can create intra-abdominal pressure which further increases intra-rectal pressure. The internal anal sphincter (an involuntary muscle) responds to the pressure by relaxing, thus allowing the feces to enter the canal. The rectum shortens as feces are pushed into the anal canal and peristaltic waves push the feces out of the rectum. Relaxation of the internal and external anal sphincters allows the feces to exit from the anus, finally, as the levator ani muscles pull the anus up over the exiting feces.
To prevent diseases of the anus[citation needed] and to promote general hygiene, humans often clean the exterior of the anus after emptying the bowels. A rinse with water from a bidet or a wipe with toilet paper are often used for this purpose.
[edit] Role in sexuality
Main article: Anal sex
The anus has a relatively high concentration of nerve endings and is an erogenous zone. Sigmund Freud's theory of psychosexual development, for example, described an anal stage, hypothesizing that toddlers derive pleasure from retaining and expelling feces. This is the source of the term "anal" and the derived, derogatory vulgarism "anal-retentive."
Anal intercourse can be pleasurable for both the insertive partner and the receptive partner. For the receptive partner, pleasure from anal intercourse is also thought to be related to the shared wall between the rectum and the vagina (for females) as well as the G-spot or prostate (for males). For the insertive partner, the tightness of the anus is often said to be a source of pleasure in penetrative anal sex. Anal intercourse, sometimes referred to as sodomy or buggery, is a human sexual activity, but is considered taboo in a number of moral systems, and it has been, and in some jurisdictions continues to be, a crime carrying severe punishment.
Anal sexual activity need not include penetration. The anus also plays an important role in facesitting, coprophilia and anilingus.
Anal stretching can stimulate the nerves around the anus and can be considered pleasurable. Care must be taken to maintain elasticity.
Lubricant is widely regarded as a necessity while performing anal sex.
[edit] Puberty
During puberty, as testosterone triggers androgenic hair growth on the body, pubic hair begins to appear around the anus. Although initially sparse, it fills out by the end of puberty, if not earlier.
[edit] Health
Human male anus.
Human female anus without pubic hair.Hygiene is important for good anal health and anal sex. Washing with a mild soap and water will keep the anus clean. Harsh soaps or wiping vigorously with toilet paper can irritate the skin around the anus, making it itchy or sore. Pinworms are sometimes the source of anal itching.
Care should be taken not to strip the anus of natural oils that keep the skin around the opening supple and elastic.
Penetration with a penis or sex toy can irritate or tear the inside of the anus. Lubrication is often recommended to ease penetration. The risk of injury to the anal sphincter should be a concern. Similarly if the anus is torn, this can occasionally cause a fistula formation which can not only cause fecal leaking, but also can be very difficult to treat.
Kegel exercises can improve the tone of the outer sphincter muscle.
[edit] Cosmetics
Shaving, trimming, depilatory (hair removal), or Brazilian waxing can clear the perineum of hair.
Anal bleaching is a process where the perineum, which darkens over the years, is lightened for a more youthful appearance. This practice has been linked to anal incontinence, and other health problems.
Anal piercing is among the more extreme piercings and usually interferes with the function of the anus.
[edit] Pathology
Diseases of the anus include anal cancer, abscess, warts, fistula, anal fissure, itching and hemorrhoid. The anus is also a frequent site of sexually transmitted infections. These benefit from medical intervention.
Birth defects of the anus include stenosis and imperforation. These benefit from surgical intervention.
Damaged anal sphincter (patulous anus in more severe cases) — caused by careless or sometimes necessarily sacrificial surgery in the perineal region or by rough/abrupt penetration in anal sex — can lead to flatus and/or fecal incontinence, chronic constipation and, ultimately, megacolon.
In psychology the Freudian term anal fixation is used.
[edit] Additional images
Muscles of male perineum.
Muscles of the female perineum.
The posterior aspect of the rectum and anus exposed by removing the lower part of the sacrum and the coccyx.
[edit] See also
Look up anus in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.Wikimedia Commons has media related to:
AnusAnal stage (Freudian psychosexual stage)
Arse
Cloaca
Digestive system
Flatulence
Hemorrhoid
Anococcygeal nerve
Coccyx
Coccydynia (coccyx pain, tailbone pain)
[Mar 9,2008 9:14pm - deadlikemurf ""]
Hoser said:
Anus
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
This article needs additional citations for verification.
Please help improve this article by adding reliable references. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. (December 2007)
This article is about the bodily orifice. For other uses, see Anus (disambiguation).
Male Human Anatomy
Female Human AnatomyIn anatomy, the anus (from Latin ānus "ring (circle)[1][2], anus") is the external opening of the rectum. Closure is controlled by sphincter muscles. Feces are expelled from the body through the anus during the act of defecation, which is the primary function of the anus. Most animals — from simple worms to elephants and humans — have a tubular gut, with a mouth at one end and an anus at the other.
The anus plays a role in sexuality, though attitudes towards anal sex vary and it is even illegal in some countries. The anus is also the site of potential infections and other conditions including cancer. The subject is often considered a taboo part of the body, and is known by a large number of usually vulgar slang terms. The traditional polite synonym for anus was fundament, though this euphemism is rarely heard now that medical terms are widely acceptable.
Contents [hide]
1 Role in defecation
2 Role in sexuality
3 Puberty
4 Health
5 Cosmetics
6 Pathology
7 Additional images
8 See also
9 References
[edit] Role in defecation
Main article: Defecation
Intra-rectal pressure builds as the rectum fills with feces, pushing the feces against the walls of the anal canal. Contractions of abdominal and pelvic floor muscles can create intra-abdominal pressure which further increases intra-rectal pressure. The internal anal sphincter (an involuntary muscle) responds to the pressure by relaxing, thus allowing the feces to enter the canal. The rectum shortens as feces are pushed into the anal canal and peristaltic waves push the feces out of the rectum. Relaxation of the internal and external anal sphincters allows the feces to exit from the anus, finally, as the levator ani muscles pull the anus up over the exiting feces.
To prevent diseases of the anus[citation needed] and to promote general hygiene, humans often clean the exterior of the anus after emptying the bowels. A rinse with water from a bidet or a wipe with toilet paper are often used for this purpose.
[edit] Role in sexuality
Main article: Anal sex
The anus has a relatively high concentration of nerve endings and is an erogenous zone. Sigmund Freud's theory of psychosexual development, for example, described an anal stage, hypothesizing that toddlers derive pleasure from retaining and expelling feces. This is the source of the term "anal" and the derived, derogatory vulgarism "anal-retentive."
Anal intercourse can be pleasurable for both the insertive partner and the receptive partner. For the receptive partner, pleasure from anal intercourse is also thought to be related to the shared wall between the rectum and the vagina (for females) as well as the G-spot or prostate (for males). For the insertive partner, the tightness of the anus is often said to be a source of pleasure in penetrative anal sex. Anal intercourse, sometimes referred to as sodomy or buggery, is a human sexual activity, but is considered taboo in a number of moral systems, and it has been, and in some jurisdictions continues to be, a crime carrying severe punishment.
Anal sexual activity need not include penetration. The anus also plays an important role in facesitting, coprophilia and anilingus.
Anal stretching can stimulate the nerves around the anus and can be considered pleasurable. Care must be taken to maintain elasticity.
Lubricant is widely regarded as a necessity while performing anal sex.
[edit] Puberty
During puberty, as testosterone triggers androgenic hair growth on the body, pubic hair begins to appear around the anus. Although initially sparse, it fills out by the end of puberty, if not earlier.
[edit] Health
Human male anus.
Human female anus without pubic hair.Hygiene is important for good anal health and anal sex. Washing with a mild soap and water will keep the anus clean. Harsh soaps or wiping vigorously with toilet paper can irritate the skin around the anus, making it itchy or sore. Pinworms are sometimes the source of anal itching.
Care should be taken not to strip the anus of natural oils that keep the skin around the opening supple and elastic.
Penetration with a penis or sex toy can irritate or tear the inside of the anus. Lubrication is often recommended to ease penetration. The risk of injury to the anal sphincter should be a concern. Similarly if the anus is torn, this can occasionally cause a fistula formation which can not only cause fecal leaking, but also can be very difficult to treat.
Kegel exercises can improve the tone of the outer sphincter muscle.
[edit] Cosmetics
Shaving, trimming, depilatory (hair removal), or Brazilian waxing can clear the perineum of hair.
Anal bleaching is a process where the perineum, which darkens over the years, is lightened for a more youthful appearance. This practice has been linked to anal incontinence, and other health problems.
Anal piercing is among the more extreme piercings and usually interferes with the function of the anus.
[edit] Pathology
Diseases of the anus include anal cancer, abscess, warts, fistula, anal fissure, itching and hemorrhoid. The anus is also a frequent site of sexually transmitted infections. These benefit from medical intervention.
Birth defects of the anus include stenosis and imperforation. These benefit from surgical intervention.
Damaged anal sphincter (patulous anus in more severe cases) — caused by careless or sometimes necessarily sacrificial surgery in the perineal region or by rough/abrupt penetration in anal sex — can lead to flatus and/or fecal incontinence, chronic constipation and, ultimately, megacolon.
In psychology the Freudian term anal fixation is used.
[edit] Additional images
Muscles of male perineum.
Muscles of the female perineum.
The posterior aspect of the rectum and anus exposed by removing the lower part of the sacrum and the coccyx.
[edit] See also
Look up anus in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.Wikimedia Commons has media related to:
AnusAnal stage (Freudian psychosexual stage)
Arse
Cloaca
Digestive system
Flatulence
Hemorrhoid
Anococcygeal nerve
Coccyx
Coccydynia (coccyx pain, tailbone pain)
[Mar 10,2008 5:59am - douchebag_patrol ""]
Karma-Enema said:
This_Is_Heresy said:
Karma-Enema said:
PeteovDom said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:NO One on here is man enough to say anything? You all talk shit and then spit bullshit when you get called out on it.
this is probably KarmaEnema.
i dont fuckin think so....i will use my name if its me
i feel i've lost intelligence after reading some of this
Must be in the red now...
hmmmm???
in the red? maybe a little annoyed that someone so obtuse could be confused with me . but then again i have a history of saying "4 RLZ" and making internet threats .
You're a big fat guy with no job who sits around whacking off to porn and playing world of warcraft and getting fatter on a steady diet of Chinese food while mommy and daddy pay the bills.
[Mar 10,2008 9:31am - DestroyYouAlot ""]
Don't forget the fursuit.
[Mar 10,2008 10:44am - immortal13 ""]
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:
immortal13 said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:At least Bob Rooney has the balls to use his real name. Too bad none of you are untouchable, none of you. The internet only hides you for so long.
To do the same thing as dude from LAZ:
Hey I'm Greg. I play bass for The Summoned and I live in Merrimack, NH. I'd put my street address up but then the Reverend might come try to molest me or something. If you feel you have to let us know the internet can only hide me for so long and feel like making threats, send me a PM and I'll give you my address, and I'll just sit there waiting.
Or you can just stop being a pussy and take your lectures elsewhere to a convention of people that like lectures.
I WILL FUCK YOU UP WITH AN 8 BALL IN A SOCK 4 RLZ
You mean serious business typing in all caps. Funniest part is I still have yet to be beaten by an 8 ball in a sock, 4 rlz. Ware u at? I's wateing yo.
[Mar 10,2008 10:46am - brian_dc ""]
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
nobody reeeeeeeads
[Mar 10,2008 11:14am - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
IT'S LOST AMIDST THE FAGGOTS WHO LOVE DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS AND WIZARD AND X-MEN
I'LL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
[Mar 10,2008 11:24am - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
RAVIOLIS IS FAGGITS
THAT WORK HARD AND PUT EFFORT INTO WHAT THEY DO
[Mar 10,2008 11:33am - poopface ""]
eata mya ballza
[Mar 10,2008 11:41am - Karma-Enema ""]
douchebag_patrol said:
Karma-Enema said:
This_Is_Heresy said:
Karma-Enema said:
PeteovDom said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:NO One on here is man enough to say anything? You all talk shit and then spit bullshit when you get called out on it.
this is probably KarmaEnema.
i dont fuckin think so....i will use my name if its me
i feel i've lost intelligence after reading some of this
Must be in the red now...
hmmmm???
in the red? maybe a little annoyed that someone so obtuse could be confused with me . but then again i have a history of saying "4 RLZ" and making internet threats .
You're a big fat guy with no job who sits around whacking off to porn and playing world of warcraft and getting fatter on a steady diet of Chinese food while mommy and daddy pay the bills.
[Mar 10,2008 11:45am - sxealex ""]
[img]
[Mar 10,2008 11:48am - brian_dc ""]
he's got a pretty nice view for a basement
[Mar 10,2008 12:31pm - KarmaEnema ""]
yaaaayyyy i LOVE blind potshots attacking my character.
it dont surprise me that ya'll cant tell the difference between me and this guy . some intelligence required .
well allow me to humor you.
i weigh 170 and am 5'9"
left the nest about 14 years ago
i support MY family , my family doesnt support me
that said "whacking off" is extracurricular at this point
other than that episode of south park i've never laid eyes on world of warcraft
and crab rangoon is the only thing i like for chinese......
douchebag you suck at this....hope you dont read palms
[Mar 10,2008 12:37pm - sxealex ""]
brian_dc said:he's got a pretty nice view for a basement
we'll say thats a poster....
[Mar 10,2008 12:48pm - KarmaEnema ""]
sxealex said:
brian_dc said:he's got a pretty nice view for a basement
we'll say thats a poster....
that came with a shade
[Mar 10,2008 2:04pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
I AM A GENIUS WHETHER YOU REALIZE OR NOT KARMAENEMA. WHATS YOUR IQ? MINE'S 187 AND THAT AIN'T NO COINCIDENCE MOTHERFUCKER. I THINK YOU JUST MADE IT TO THE TOP OF THE LIST.
[Mar 10,2008 2:08pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
AND TO EVERYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO STILL TALK SHIT I SAY BRING THE MOTHERFUCKIN RUCKUS!
BRING THE MOTHERFUCKER RUCKUS!
GHOSTFACE
CATCH THE BLAST OF A HYPE VERSE
MY GLOCK BURST
LEAVIN THE HEARSE I DID WORSE
I COME ROUGH
TOUGH LIKE AN ELEPHANT TUSK
[Mar 10,2008 2:10pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
AWWWWWWWWWWW SHIT
WU-TANG CLAN SPARK THE WICKS AND?
HOWEVER
I MASTERED THE TRICK JUST LIKE NIXON
CAUSIN TERROR
DAMAGE YA WHOLE ERA
[Mar 10,2008 2:16pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
Shame on a nigga who try to run game on a nigga
Wu buck wild with the trigger!
Shame on a nigga who try to run game on a nigga
Wu buck- I FUCK yo' ass up! What?
(HUT ONE, HUT TWO, HUT THREE, HUT!)
Ol' Dirty Bastard, live and uncut!
Styles unbreakable, shatterproof
To the young youth, ya wanna get gun? Shoot!
BLAOW! How you like me now? Don't fuck the style
Ruthless wild!
Do ya wanna getcha teeth knocked the FUCK out?
Wanna get on it like that, well then shout!
Yo RZA, yo razor!
Hit me with the major
The damage, my Clan understand it be flavor
Gunnin, hummin comin atcha
First I'm gonna getcha, once I gotcha, I gat-cha
You could never capture the Method Man's stature
For rhyme and for rapture, got niggaz resigning, now master
my style? Never! I put the fucking buck in the wild kid, I'm terror
Razor sharp, I sever
the head from the shoulders, I'm better
than my compeda, you mean competitor, whadeva!
Let's get together
(Shame on a nigga who try to run game on a nigga
Wu buckwild with the tri-BLAOW!)
I react so thick, I'm phat, and YO!
Rae came blowing and blew off ya headphones black
Rap from yo Cali to Texas
Smoother than a Lexus, now's my turn to WRECK this
Brothers approach and half step, but ain't heard
HALF of it yet, and I bet you're not a fuckin vet
So, when you see me on the real, formin like Voltron
Remember I got deep like a Navy Seal!
(Shame on a nigga who try to run game on a nigga
Wu buck wild with the trigger!
Shame on a nigga who try to run game on a nigga
I'll FUCK YOUR ASS UP!)
Yo...!
I come with that ol' loco
Style from my vocal
Couldn't peep it with a pair of bi-focals
I'm no joker! Play me as a joker
Be on you like a house on fire! Smoke ya!
Crews be actin like they gangs, anyway
Be like, "Warriors! Come out and playiyay!"
Burn me, I get into shit, I let it out like diarrhea
Got burnt once, but that was only gonorrhea
Dirty, I keep shit stinks in my drawers
So I can get fzza-funky for yah
Murder, taste the flame of the Wu-Tang RAHH!
Here comes the Tiger verse Crane!
Ow, be like wild with my style
Punk! You playing me, chump, you get DUMPED
WU! Is comin THROUGH! At a theatre near YOU!
And get funk like a SHOE!
What?!
[Mar 10,2008 2:19pm - KarmaEnema ""]
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:I AM A GENIUS WHETHER YOU REALIZE OR NOT KARMAENEMA. WHATS YOUR IQ? MINE'S 187 AND THAT AIN'T NO COINCIDENCE MOTHERFUCKER. I THINK YOU JUST MADE IT TO THE TOP OF THE LIST.
yeah your smart , kicking those memorized lyrics and thinking i was even talkin to you......
187 ? you sure its that high ?
[Mar 10,2008 2:21pm - brian_dc ""]
Karma Enema spaketh:
"
and brian ..........everyone already knows your merit so never mind"
Question mark
[Mar 11,2008 3:08am - douchebag_patrol ""]
KarmaEnema said:yaaaayyyy i LOVE blind potshots attacking my character.
it dont surprise me that ya'll cant tell the difference between me and this guy . some intelligence required .
well allow me to humor you.
i weigh 170 and am 5'9"
left the nest about 14 years ago
i support MY family , my family doesnt support me
that said "whacking off" is extracurricular at this point
other than that episode of south park i've never laid eyes on world of warcraft
and crab rangoon is the only thing i like for chinese......
douchebag you suck at this....hope you dont read palms
[img]
You support your family? OMG! You're a basement dweller and you support them? They must be mole people.
[Mar 11,2008 9:05am - DestroyYouAlot ""]
[img]
[Mar 11,2008 9:06am - DestroyYouAlot ""]
Could you get me Ben Grimm's autograph?
[Mar 11,2008 10:40am - diarrhea_blumpkin ""]
RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES came to my house the other day cause he somehow got my address and started throwing feces at my mailbox... he ran once the police came
in summation: THIS GUY IS REAL!!!!
[Mar 11,2008 11:10am - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
THAT'S RIGHT I'M REAL AND YA'LL DON'T EVEN KNOW THE KINDA FECES I THROW
COMIN FROM THE TOP AND THE BOTTOM WITH MY FLOW
BITCHES AIN'T SHIT TIL THEY EAT MY DICK
AND DIARRHEA BLUMPKIN JUST TOPPED THE LIST
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
YALL JUST GOT SERVED
[Mar 11,2008 11:15am - DestroyYouAlot ""]
OH NO YOU DI'INT!
[Feb 12,2009 7:19pm - diarrhea_blumpkin ""]
lulz
[Feb 12,2009 7:32pm - reimroc ""]
This guy strikes me as a douchebag.
[Feb 12,2009 8:47pm - the_reverend ""]
RichHorror said:
diarrhea_blumps%20nli said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said: RESPOND WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING WORTHY TO SAY.
pigs can orgasm for up to 30 minutes....
The diamond is the hardest substance known to man.
and here I thought the rock was the hardest substance known to man. my bad.
[Feb 12,2009 10:07pm - douchebag_patrol ""]
reimroc said:This guy strikes me as a douchebag.
[img]
[img]
[Feb 13,2009 8:54am - Kadooganapalm ""]
good times
[Feb 13,2009 12:05pm - brodown ""]
I saw this and just had to hit the "quote" button.
[QUOTE="deadlikemurf:732147"]The first inhabitants of the Czech lands were prehistoric fish. That's because the country, at the time, was covered by a prehistoric ocean - thanks to which it is possible to find some very nice fossils of trilobytes in the Czech Republic today.
Today's Czech Republic was later populated by dinosaurs of all sorts, and later by neanderthals and even by mammoths. The prehistoric settlement of the present-day Czech Republic by people culminated in the fourth century B.C. with the arrival of the Celts, the first modern human inhabitants of this territory that we know of. In fact, the Latin name for the Czech lands, "Boiohaemum" (Bohemia), is derived from the name of the Boii Celtic tribe; and the Czech name for the Moldau River (which flows through the capital city of Prague) is Vltava - which is said to come from the Celtic "Vlt" meaning wild, and "Va" meaning water.
The Czech Celts were in part chased out of the region and in part assimilated by the next peoples to inhabit the area: the Germanic Marcomanni and Quadi tribes from the west and the Romans from the south. (The Romans didn't actually occupy Czech territory - they only got as far north as the Danube River, which flows from Germany - through Austria along its border with Slovakia - and then over to Hungary before continuing on to Yugoslavia, and so just misses the Czech lands.) During the Migration of Peoples - roughly from the 3d to the 7th centuries AD - Slav colonization spread westward from the Steppes of the East (probably from Panonia) all the way to the territory of the present-day Czech Republic and up to Poland and down again to Yugoslavia. From probably the sixth century AD on, the Slavic peoples settled, in several waves of migration, into the regions which had been conveniently abandoned by the Germanic tribes.
This is the way that it all came to be - according to popular Czech legend: Once upon a time there were three brothers: Czech, Lech and Rus. One day, they decided to find a new place to live, and so they and their tribes set out on a journey. They got as far as the Dnieper River when Rus said, "This is the place for me and my tribe!" and there the Russians stayed. Czech (who is known as "Praotec Cech," or Ancestor Czech in these parts) and Lech continued. Soon, they came upon a rich land overflowing with milk and honey and Czech climbed to the top of Rip hill in Bohemia and decided that this was the place for him and for his tribe. Lech and his people continued their journey and settled in present-day Poland. Other versions of the legend have 7 brothers in all, with the addition of other Slav nations like the Croats (who have a similar legend about 7 wandering brothers) and some others whose names are not remembered anymore. One modern interpretation of the story has the Czechs spending some time in Greece before finally heading north and settling, and this would actually conveniently explain the similarities between certain Czech legends (like that of Bruncvik's odyssey or of Sarka and her band of women warriors) with Greek ones.
Czech legend goes on to say that Cech's people were happy in the Czech lands, and after a few generations and some time had passed, the Slavs of Bohemia had a new leader - a guy by the name of Krok, who lived at Vysehrad (which means "high castle" and is today the site of the Czech National Cemetery). Probably the most important thing about Krok were his three very beautiful daughters, who were named Kazi, Teta and Libuse. The last of these, Libuse, had special powers which allowed her to see the future (Kazi, the oldest, was a healer who knew the secrets of the plants and herbs, while Teta was high priestess).
Libuse's talent came in particularly handy when it came time for her to marry. According to legend, she inherited rule over the Czech tribes from her father, Krok. As ruler of the lands, she was also the highest 'court of appeal' for disputes among the people. It is said that a guy who did not like one of her decisions as judge started a stink about the fact that the Czechs were ruled by a woman. And so Libuse had a vision - and sent her white horse, accompanied by a group of her subjects - to go out and find a guy ploughing in his field. After a journey of some days, the horse and the humans did indeed come upon just such a man (and nobody seemed surprised at all at this - neither the humans nor the horse nor even the man himself) and Przemysl Ploughman (Premysl Orac in Czech) came to Vysehrad and married Libuse and took over the job of ruling the unruly Czechs and he and Libuse together started the Przemyslid Dynasty, which ruled over the Czech lands till the 14th century.
One day, not long after the wedding, Libuse had a vision in which she foretold of the glory of the Czech capital. Standing atop Vysehrad hill, she went into a trance and told her vision to the people even as the gods sent it to her. She said that on the seven hills of Prague a fair city would grow, the fame of which would rise to the very stars. And all that she saw and all of which she foretold really came true. Of course!
Now, while Cech and Libuse are the stuff of imaginative Czech legend, it is believed that Samo - who may or may not have ruled this part of the world in the first half of the seventh century AD - was probably a real person. It's hard to tell, though, since nobody is sure of minor details like where Samo was from, where Samo lived, or where Samo ruled - if, that is, he existed at all. If he did, he is thought to have been a Frankish merchant who placed himself on the side of the Slavs against the wicked Avar tribes of Hungary. He is mentioned in early chronicles, where his address is given as Wogastisburg Fortress. Nobody today knows where this Wogastisburg Fortress was - but it's believed by Czechs to have stood on Rubin hill in Bohemia.
Wherever Samo's home base really was, his rule seems to represent the first successful attempt at uniting the Slavic tribes - and since the Slavs are not exactly known for their brotherly love for one another (then again, who in Europe is?), this was quite a feat. The reason for this unification under Samo was, predictably, quite pragmatic. The Slavic tribes cooperated in order to withstand attacks by the Avars, a powerful Asian tribe whose home was on the plains of Hungary.
At some point, Charlemagne joined in the battle against the Avars in this part of the world, cooperating either with Samo or with the state structure that came after him - the Great Moravian Empire.
Again, reports on the Great Moravian Empire are fuzzy. According to period chronicles, the people living along the Morava River at the time were already known as "Moravians," and their short-lived empire existed "somewhere" between today's Slovakia and Germany, and Poland and Austria (that is, somewhere in today's Czech Republic) in the 8th and/or 9th century. Just like Wogastisburg Fortress, it's claimed to have stood in different places by all the people who live in those different places.
At some time during the ninth century, Greater Moravia was ruled by the Moravian prince Svatopluk and had grown to include today's South Moravia, the southernmost bits of present-day Poland and Silesia, the western part of Hungary and, for a short time, the whole of Bohemia. Perhaps the most important thing about the Great Moravians is that theirs was the first legal sort of state structure in the area to accept Christianity, and the cultural development of the Greater Moravian Empire is inseparably linked to the spread of the eastern Byzantine liturgy of Sts Cyril and Methodius, who came to these parts in 863. They were invited by the Moravians - who were interested in Christianity but couldn't understand the language in which it was preached at the time. Cyril and Methodius were chosen for the mission because they understood and were able to speak in the Slavic tongue (again lending weight to the theory that the Slavs of these parts had not long before been spending some time in Greece).
Some buildings from around about this time still stand - mostly Romanesque basilicas like the one on Rip Hill (the very hill that Great-Granddad Czech liked so much!), at Vysehrad, in Prague's Old Town, and at other places. It was Cyril and Methodius, too, who brought the written word to the region (the Cyrillic alphabet is named for Cyril even though his real name was not Cyril but Constantine). The beginning of a written Slavic language was to be of enormous importance to Slavic nations in the Middle Ages. On the downside, the introduction of Christianity to this territory was so overwhelmingly successful that we know very little today about the pre-Christian religion of the pagan Slavs.
The Greater Moravian Empire disintegrated thanks to the Hungarian invasion of 903 or 904 and political intrigue in the early days of the Holy Roman Empire. After that, the Slavic mission in Moravia - which had been established by the missionaries Cyril and Methodius - collapsed, and the population reverted to tribal conditions. The Christian heritage of the Greater Moravian Empire, however, was to be preserved with the ascent of the Przemyslid dynasty to the throne of Bohemia.
The rise and fall of the Przemyslid Dynasty
With the Great Moravian Empire out of the way, the Przemyslid family succeeded in laying the foundations of a Czech state somewhere around the the end of the ninth century. They did this mostly by ridding themselves of all of the things that were standing in their way, like the Vrsovic and Slavnik clans - which the Przemyslids murdered in a particularly bloody manner. The only Vrsovec to escape the massacre of his family was Adalbert, but it didn't do him much good. Adalbert was so thankful for his salvation that he became a Christian missionary and headed northwest (to the area of today's northeast Germany) to spread the Word. No sooner did he arrive at his destination than he was brutally roasted and eaten by the inhabitants. Adalbert (or Vojtech, as he is known in Czech) is another of the Czech nation's patron saints today.
But Vojtech was not the only early Czech guy to be made a saint thanks to the Przemyslid's bloodthirstiness. On the contrary - the Przemyslid rulers were rather a mixed bag, and when they ran out of rival clans to murder, they started murdering each other - resulting in some more early saints for the Czechs.
Wenceslas I, the fourth Przemyslid Czech ruler, was made a saint soon after his murder in 929 or 935. This Wenceslas (in Czech, Vaclav) is the Good King Wenceslas of the Christmas carol, and it was during his reign that the Czech lands entered into an alliance with Saxony, thereby laying the foundations for closer relations with the restored Roman Empire.
This mischievous affability on Wenceslas' part towards the Czechs' western neighbors is a main reason that he was killed by his brother, who wasn't very good (in fact he is known as "Boleslav the Cruel.") Another reason might be that Boleslav was a pagan, and he felt that Wenceslas was frittering away too much time with this new Christian fashion he'd picked up -- though lust for power probably also played a role in Boleslav's motive for the murder, which took place at the very door of the church in Stara Boleslav, where Wenceslas was trying to seek refuge.
Incidentally, Boleslav and Wenceslas' Grandmother (on their father's side) was also murdered, and also made a saint. It is said that she was either smothered to death with a pillow or choked to death - this time, the killer was her daughter-in-law (Boleslav and Wenceslas' mother), and the motive was, again, power (Drahomira wanted to place Wenceslas on the throne.)
Things didn't get much better within the Przemyslid family, it is suspected that . Interestingly enough, the Przemyslids are remembered rather fondly in the Czech Republic today, as it seems that most people are blissfully unaware of the family's murderous streak.
Maybe that is because the Przemyslids occasionally took time off from their favorite sport to increase Bohemia's power and prestige. In typical early feudal fashion, this meant that they went out killing people in other countries instead, expanding their empire to Moravia and Silesia, as well as the upper reaches of the river Vistula and parts of western Slovakia. In Moravia, they set up a system of dukedoms, with the office of "Margrave" (ruler of Moravia) sometimes being held by the Bohemian Dauphin, sometimes by a rival for the Bohemian throne. In this way the Przemyslide dynastic killings were stayed, and both Bohemia and Moravia came to be regarded as hereditary lands of the Przemyslid dynasty. All the while, the expansion of the Przemyslid Dynasty's power went hand in hand with the spread of Christianity in the region.
This growing Przemyslide state maintained its sovereignty, though it formally recognized the feudal supremacy of the Roman-German Empire. The Czech lands ranked among the most advanced of the European feudal states, being at the forefront of economic power and cultural achievement at the time. In keeping with this growing importance, the territory was officially recognized through the granting of a royal crown to the Przemyslid Dynasty in the eleventh century (it was made hereditary in 1212 by the Golden Sicilian Bull) and the granting of the title of 'emperor' for Czech rulers.
The 1100s and 1200s were a very busy time in this part of Europe, and colonization, trade and cultural activity were steadily on the increase. Prague, which lay smack dab in the middle of several continental trade routes, flourished. Prague's Old Town was founded in 1234 as the first of Prague's five towns, and the Lesser Quarter was founded in 1257. Border forests were settled and towns and fortresses were founded and fortified. These sweeping changes literally transformed the country, and in keeping with these physical changes, the social structure of the territory also evolved. From about this time, aristocrats, burghers, and serfs were to be spotted in the Czech lands - as were German settlers, who were invited to colonize previously uninhabited (mostly border) regions of Bohemia and Moravia. The German settlers, whether burghers or peasants, did not form a homogeneous or politically separate group, and they soon became part of the local community, identifying with Czech statehood and sharing in the development of the Czech and Moravian lands as fully enfranchised members of the population, but mostly but keeping their native language (in addition to learning Czech.) Many, many, many, many centuries later, the places that they settled would come to be known as the "Sudetenland."
From the thirteenth century, the Czech kingdom was one of the most robust states in all of Europe, with a growing population and a vigorous economy. This, in turn, made the Czech nobility and rulers all the more rich and powerful, and enabled king Przemysl Otakar II to expand his territory rather extensively (if briefly). Otakar II was quite well-known in his time, and he even makes an appearance in Dante's Divine Comedy. Otokar II, also known as the "King of Gold and Iron" (because of his considerable wealth and his considerable military might) defeated the armies of the Hungarian king in 1256 and again in 1260. This military victory allowed him to annex the Alpine countries (today's Austria and beyond) - extending his territories all the way to the Adriatic Sea. Some people claim that this brief period - in which Bohemia controlled territory bordering on the sea - is the basis for Shakespeare's infamous 'Bohemian seacoast' from his play, "The Tempest."
Well, while the Czech lands were gaining power, prestige, oceanfront property and other things, a powerful rival appeared in Germany in the person of the newly-elected ruler of the Holy Roman Empire, Rudolf Habsburg - a member of a previously unimportant family from the Rhineland. This Rudolf formed an alliance of German princes and - after the Czech King Przemysl Otakar II was killed in battle in Moravia against the combined Roman and Hungarian forces on August 26, 1278 - Rudolf took possession of the abovementioned Alpine lands, which later became the basis of the Habsburgs' power - ie Austria.
The late Czech King Przemysl Otakar II was succeeded by his son, Wenceslas II (1278-1305). Under his reign, the mining of Czech silver at Kutna Hora and the minting of the Czech silver groschen - one of the hardest European currencies of the time - flourished. Wenceslas II also created a confederation between Bohemia and Poland. For a short time, Hungary - under the rule of Matthias Czak Trenciansky, who held absolute rule over most of Slovakia as well - also joined this confederation.
The Polish-Czech union was strengthened under the brief rule of Wenceslas III. Had it survived, it might have contributed to the creation of a more advanced region in Europe as the earlier Czech- Austrian union had. However, this was precluded by the death of young Wenceslas III (in 1306, when he was just 17 years old). Wenceslas III was the last male member of the Przemyslids line, and after his death the Czech-Polish union fell apart.
The Luxembourg Dynasty and
King Charles IV
With the demise of Wenceslas III, the last of the Przemyslid rulers of the Czech lands, the difficult question of who should rule next had to be answered. And answered it was - by 14-year-old John of Luxembourg, the first of the Luxembourgs to occupy the Czech throne (1310-1437). John of Luxembourg gained this position with the support of the Czech nobility by marrying 18-year-old Eliska Przemyslova, the sister of the late Wenceslas III.
Under John of Luxembourg's rule, more territories - including the regions of Cheb, Lusatia and Silesia - were joined to Bohemia. All of these regions together, under the rule of John of Luxembourg, came to be known as the "Lands of the Czech Crown." So you see, there never was an easy "one-word" way (like 'Czechia') to describe this part of the world, not even in way back in the 14th century.
John of Luxembourg was a good king, but he had a fatal weakness for chivalry, knighthood, honour - and especially, for battles. He loved to fight. When there weren't any battles in his immediate neighborhood, he went abroad to help his friends fight their battles. And so it happened that he fell at the battle of Crecy in 1346, fighting on the side of his French friend and distant relative Charles, against the Black Prince. And so he was succeeded by his young son, Charles IV.
Charles IV was just as noble - but much more practical than his caravanting father had been, and he took a keen interest in all aspects of rule over the Czech lands. Charles IV was not really named Charles. He was named Wenceslas IV - but he had been reared at the French court, and everyone there called him Charles, and so the name stuck. (His son, who succeeded him on the Czech throne, was also named Wenceslas IV, and this sometimes leads to some confusion.) When Charles IV came to power, he was still very young. Since he'd been raised in France, he didn't speak Czech. Wicked advisors surrounded the young king, and attempted to usurp the real rule of Bohemia while leaving young Charles IV in place as a figurehead.
Charles IV may have been young, but he was no dummy. He spoke 5 languages fluently (at a time when many crowned heads could not even read and write), and he was a masterful diplomat. He also had friends in high places - Pope Klement, who was elected during Charles IV's reign, had been the Czech sovereign's tutor at the court in Paris.
Young Charles IV saw through the transparent plans of the wicked advisors who surrounded him. He quickly learned Czech, and took over rule of his own land himse
post was too long read more at your own risk
[Feb 13,2009 12:39pm - brian_dc ""]
brian_dc said:everyone here is genuinely upset about this. You've made us all feel bad and we're all going to quit now.
I'm posting in this thread
[Oct 26,2009 11:20am - DestroyYouAlot ""]
Bump for crashing your browser.
[Oct 26,2009 11:24am - brian_dc ""]
mammaries
[Oct 26,2009 11:27am - brian_dc ""]
brian_dc said:password for the_reverend: filliecheizstakes
[Oct 26,2009 11:36am - boblovesmusic ""]
that was an entertaining thread skim
[Oct 26,2009 12:50pm - the_reverend ""]
I need to fix a bug obviously.
[Oct 26,2009 1:15pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
FEATURE =/= BUG
[Feb 8,2011 1:37pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
NEVAR 4GET
[Feb 20,2012 12:28pm - kadoogler ""]
I DID IT FIRST, FUCK THAT NEW TROLL THREAD. BACK IN MY DAY, ONE THREAD COULD BREAK ALL OF RETURN TO THE PIT!
[Feb 20,2012 12:35pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
If you didn't read that ENTIRE POST, I don't really think you're qualified to argue ITT. :D