RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES
[views:49365][posts:149]___________________________________________________
[Mar 6,2008 2:00pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES. MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T SPEND SO MUCH TIME ON LINE MAKING FUN OF BANDS THAT WORK HARD AND PUT EFFORT INTO WHAT THEY DO THEN YOUR BAND WOULD BE IN GUITAR WORLD TOO. DON'T TALK SHIT JUST TO TALK SHIT WHEN PEOPLE PUT SO MUCH WORK INTO THEIR SONGS. IF YOUR SHIT BAND GOT INTO GUITAR WORLD YOUD BE POSTING IT ON HERE TOO. AND IF I MADE FUN OF IT I WOULD GET MADE FUN OF CAUSE YOU GUYS THINK YOURE THE ONLY SCENE IN MASSACHUSETTS WELL GUESS WHAT NO ONE IN THE REAL SCENE WANTS ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU ASSHOLES. SO BACK OFF OR THERES PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
[Mar 6,2008 2:01pm - BobNOMAAMRooney nli ""]
Fag
[Mar 6,2008 2:01pm - SkinSandwich ""]
You need to loosen up. Like I said in an earlier thread, I am going on tour in the south sniffing roller coaster seats. You should tag along.
[Mar 6,2008 2:01pm - diarrhea_blumps nli ""]
my balls itch right now
[Mar 6,2008 2:05pm - contagion ""]
i cant tell if this is a joke or not
[Mar 6,2008 2:06pm - RichHorror ""]
LAFF IT UP FUNBOYS
[Mar 6,2008 2:06pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
TYPICAL IGNORANT RESPONSE FROM THE IGNORANT CLOSE MINDED DICKS ON RTTP. GO LOOK AT MORE PICTURES OF SWEATY DUDES AND THEN RESPOND WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING WORTHY TO SAY.
[Mar 6,2008 2:07pm - diarrhea_blumps nli ""]
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said: RESPOND WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING WORTHY TO SAY.
pigs can orgasm for up to 30 minutes....
[Mar 6,2008 2:07pm - pam nli ""]
Awesome.
[Mar 6,2008 2:08pm - RichHorror ""]
diarrhea_blumps%20nli said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said: RESPOND WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING WORTHY TO SAY.
pigs can orgasm for up to 30 minutes....
The diamond is the hardest substance known to man.
[Mar 6,2008 2:08pm - kadooganism ""]
diarrhea_blumps%20nli said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said: RESPOND WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING WORTHY TO SAY.
pigs can orgasm for up to 30 minutes....
No wonder bacon is so delicious.
[Mar 6,2008 2:09pm - diarrhea_blumps nli ""]
girls have penis's and boys have vaginas
[Mar 6,2008 2:09pm - SkinSandwich ""]
Coca-Cola would be green if colouring weren’t added to it.
[Mar 6,2008 2:10pm - contagion ""]
kadooganism said:
diarrhea_blumps%20nli said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said: RESPOND WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING WORTHY TO SAY.
pigs can orgasm for up to 30 minutes....
No wonder bacon is so delicious.win
[Mar 6,2008 2:11pm - SkinSandwich ""]
You can't kill yourself by holding your breath
[Mar 6,2008 2:11pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
NO One on here is man enough to say anything? You all talk shit and then spit bullshit when you get called out on it.
[Mar 6,2008 2:13pm - contagion ""]
..fuck you?
[Mar 6,2008 2:13pm - SkinSandwich ""]
I'm sorry, I did not read your post as it was all in gay caps.
Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian
[Mar 6,2008 2:14pm - the_reverend ""]
TAMPONS DOODOOHEAD DIARRHEA SODAPOP.
[Mar 6,2008 2:15pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
At least Bob Rooney has the balls to use his real name. Too bad none of you are untouchable, none of you. The internet only hides you for so long.
[Mar 6,2008 2:16pm - RichHorror ""]
FLASH
AHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
[Mar 6,2008 2:16pm - the_reverend ""]
I AM SOFA KING RETARDED!
[Mar 6,2008 2:16pm - contagion ""]
i love when people get all uppidy about people posting shit and not being man enough to do shit in real life ON THE INTERNET. the irony is thicker than rosie odonnel's lesbian diarrhea.
shut up fag or YOU do something.
[Mar 6,2008 2:17pm - brian_dc ""]
Creed was a rock band from Tallahassee, Florida that became popular in the late 1990s and early 2000s. The band won a Grammy Award for Best Rock Song for the song "With Arms Wide Open" in 2001. The band broke up in 2004 after three multiplatinum albums.
Creed originally came together in Tallahassee, Florida in 1993 as Naked Toddler when Scott Stapp and guitarists Mark Tremonti and Brian Brasher, college friends, got together and started collaborating and writing songs. They soon added bassist Brian Marshall and drummer Scott Phillips. Brian Marshall came up with the band name "Creed", taken from the name of his former band, Mattox Creed.[citation needed]
Once the band was complete as a 5 piece in late 1993, (Scott Stapp, Mark Tremonti, Brian Brasher, Brian Marshall and Scott Phillips) the band was soon dominating the Tallahassee local music scene and was one of the only local bands playing all original music in a town where club owners wanted local bands to play cover songs and music that people know. The 5 members had already written and collaborated (3) three of the songs that would go on to become chart topping singles on their debut album "My Own Prison". The songs were "One", "Sister" and "What's this Life For".
They then found work at a live music bar, where they impressed promoter Jeff Hanson and Andy Levine enough to let them play at one of their bigger venues known as Floyd's Music Store on the Tennessee Street Strip in Tallahassee. Hanson and Levine liked the band so much that he convinced producer John Kurzweg to record the band.
Their debut album My Own Prison was independently released and only cost them $6,000 to produce, and distributed to Florida radio stations. This drew the attention of several labels that agreed to see the band, only to pass. Rejected, Creed was playing a small gig when Diana Meltzer from Wind-Up Records heard the group. She had heard their independent album, and after hearing them live, signed the band to her label. After a remix to make it more radio friendly, My Own Prison was re-released by Wind-up Records across the country. The album was a surprise success, reaching the Top 40 on the Billboard Top 200, and spinning off several singles ("My Own Prison," "Torn," "What's This Life For," and "One") that topped the rock radio charts. The band's hit song "My Own Prison" was also featured as a live performance on the charity album Live in the X Lounge.
Their second album, Human Clay, was released in 1999 and debuted on the Billboard 200 album chart at number one, based on the strength of its first single, "Higher", which spent several weeks on the top of the rock radio charts. It wasn't until early 2000 that the single crossed over onto pop radio going to the Top Ten on the Billboard Pop Chart, and Creed became a household name. Its follow-up, "With Arms Wide Open," also hit number one that fall.
Meanwhile, Brian Marshall particularly offended many fans when he criticized Pearl Jam on a Seattle radio station (KNDD). He was soon kicked out of the band, and Brett Hestla (Virgos Merlot, Dark New Day) took over on the Human Clay tour, and subsequent tours. Around that time, Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit bad-mouthed Stapp at New York's Krock 92.3 "Dysfunctional Family Picnic Concert" where they were both performing. In response to this, Scott Stapp invited Fred Durst to an open boxing match which Durst declined.[1]
In the fall of 2001, "My Sacrifice", the first single off of Creed's last album Weathered, was used in a series of promotional tribute videos made by World Wrestling Entertainment. They also had "Young Grow Old," a B-side to the 1999 release Human Clay, featured as the official theme song for World Wrestling Entertainment WWE's Backlash pay-per-view event in April 2002. In early 2002, "Bullets" was released as a single, along with a costly, special effects-laden video. The song and video were possibly Creed's least successful since achieving mainstream success. However, Creed rebounded quickly, with one of the summer's biggest hits, "One Last Breath". Camp left the band in 2001, and Stapp replaced him.
Stapp was involved in a car accident in April 2002 and it had seemed that the tour that they had planned was not going to happen. However, Stapp recovered in time to appear in the last few shows. "Don't Stop Dancing" was a minor hit for Creed in late 2002/early 2003.
In June 2004,Creed broke up, and Stapp began recording a solo album, The Great Divide with Roadrunner Records recording artist Goneblind. The other band members (including former bassist Brian Marshall) formed a new band, Alter Bridge, with Myles Kennedy. Touring bassist Brett Hestla has since joined the band Dark New Day. On November 22nd, 2004 they released their Greatest Hits.
Since Creed's disbanding, many fans have been waiting for a reunion. The three members currently involved in Alter Bridge have stated that Creed is solely in their past, and will not reunite any time in the future. Stapp had at times left the door open to reunite with his former band members, yet his recent claims reflect only that Creed is in the past.
Despite the band's continual dismissals of the label, Creed is sometimes labeled Christian rock due to the fact all three albums focus on questions of faith, Christianity, and eternity. The band was never signed to a Contemporary Christian music label, nor did it perform in Christian Music venues or get any widespread regular play on Christian Radio. However, the word creed itself (also the band's namesake), denotes a popularly Christian theological concept, of absolute individual belief, usually monotheistic. Also, themes within their musical titles such as Human Clay, My Sacrifice and Arms Wide Open contain allusion to Christian theology.
Creed was sued in 2003 by four concert goers who claimed Scott Stapp "was so intoxicated and/or medicated that he was unable to sing the lyrics of a single Creed song" at a December 29, 2002 concert in Chicago. The lawsuit was later dismissed and the concert goers who filed the suit were mocked in a Daily Show segment conducted by Rob Corddry.
For many years, Creed collaborated with World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) by allowing many of their songs to be played for promotions (such as a song being the soundtrack for a pay per view). In 2001, when WWE began airing videos highlighting many different wrestlers' careers as well as video highlights of the rigors of the road for wrestlers, a Creed song almost always was the background music; "My Sacrifice" being the most-used song. Even following the breakup of Creed, Scott Stapp and Alter Bridge have both contributed music to WWE.
* Scott Stapp - Vocals
* Brian Brasher - Guitar, backing vocals (departed in 1996)
* Mark Tremonti - Guitar, vocals, bass guitar on Weathered
* Scott Phillips - Drums, percussion, keyboards
* Brian Marshall (departed in 2000) - Bass guitar
[edit] Touring members
* Brett Hestla - Bass guitar (Touring member after the departure of Brian Marshall)
Albums
Album information
My Own Prison
* Released: August 26, 1997
* Label: Wind-Up Records
* Chart Positions:
#22 (Billboard 200)
#1 (Heatseekers)
* RIAA Certification: 6× Platinum
* Singles:
1. "My Own Prison"
2. "One"
3. "Torn"
4. "What's This Life For"
Album information
Human Clay
* Released: September 28, 1999
* Label: Wind-Up Records
* Chart Positions:
#1 (Billboard 200)
#29 (U.K. Albums Chart)
* RIAA Certification: 11× Platinum
* Singles:
1. " Higher"
2. "With Arms Wide Open"
3. "What If"
4. "Are You Ready?"
Album information
Weathered
* Released: November 20, 2001
* Label: Wind-Up Records
* Chart Positions:
#1 (Billboard 200)
#44 (U.K. Albums Chart)
* RIAA Certification: 6× Platinum
* Singles:
1. "My Sacrifice"
2. "Don't Stop Dancing"
3. "Weathered"
4. "Bullets"
5. "One Last Breath"
Album information
Greatest Hits
* Released: November 22, 2004
* Label: Wind-Up Records
* Chart Positions:
#15 (Billboard 200)
* RIAA Certification: Platinum
[edit] Singles
Year Title Chart positions Album
US Hot 100 US Modern Rock US Mainstream Rock UK Singles Chart
1997 "My Own Prison" - #7 #2 - My Own Prison
1997 "What's This Life For" - #10 #1 (6 Weeks) - My Own Prison
1998 "Torn" - - #3 - My Own Prison
1999 "One" #70 #2 #2 - My Own Prison
1999 "Higher" #7 #1 (3 Weeks) #1 (17 Weeks) #47 Human Clay
2000 "With Arms Wide Open" #1 (1 Week) #2 #1 (4 Weeks) #13 Human Clay
2000 "What If" - #15 #3 - Human Clay
2000 "Are You Ready?" - #37 #4 - Human Clay
2001 "Riders On The Storm" - - #28 -
1999 "Higher" (re-issue) - - - #64 Human Clay
2001 "My Sacrifice" #4 #2 #1 (9 Weeks) #18 Weathered
2002 "Bullets" - #27 #11 - Weathered
2002 "Hide" - - - - Weathered
2002 "One Last Breath" #6 #17 #5 - Weathered
2002 "One Last Breath" / "Bullets" - - - #47 Weathered
2002 "Don't Stop Dancing" - - - - Weathered
2002 "Weathered" - #30 #7 - Weathered
Billboard's Artist Chart History[1]
[edit] Milestones
[edit] Album sales
* All three studio albums released went multi-platinum.
* My Own Prison went 6× platinum in the US.
* Human Clay went 11× platinum in the US.
* Weathered went 6× platinum in the US.
* The Greatest Hits went platinum in the US.
* My Own Prison, Human Clay, and Weathered are on the list of the top 100 selling albums of all time in the US. [2]
* Creed has sold 30 million albums in the US, making them one of the top selling artists ever in the US.
[edit] In popular culture
* The song "What If" (Creed song) appeared in the Scream 3 soundtrack
* The song "Higher" was played in the theatrical trailers for Titan A.E., but the song did not appear either in the movie or on the soundtrack
* The song "What's This Life For" was in the Halloween H20: 20 Years Later soundtrack
* The song "Who's Got My Back?" appeared in the video game NHL 2003
* The song "Higher" was in the movie The Skulls
* The song "Bound & Tied" was featured in the Dragon Ball Z Movie Return of Cooler
* Creed and Robby Krieger did a song "Roadhouse Blues" for the Woodstock 1999 (album)
* The song "Wrong Way" was in the End of Days soundtrack
* The song "One Last Breath" appeared in the movie See No Evil
* The song "Pity For A Dime" was in Jailbait!
* The song "Stand Here With Me" featured in the video game Project Gotham Racing 4
* The song "My Own Prision" appeared in the movie A Man Apart
* The song "Bullets" was featured in the video game MechAssault 2: Lone Wolf
[edit] Records and accomplishments
* The song "Higher" topped the Billboard Mainstream Rock charts for 18 weeks, a record.
* Their album Weathered debuted at #1 on the Billboard charts and stayed there for eight weeks, a record which they share with The Beatles.
* The video for "With Arms Wide Open" is declared the 92nd greatest video ever by VH1.
[edit] Awards
* Billboard 'Rock Artist of the Year' (1998)
* Billboard 'Rock Artist of the Year' (1999)
* Billboard 'Rock Artist of the Year' (2000)
* Mawn Bawnd of All Time - Infinity A.D.
* Grammy for Best Rock Song "With Arms Wide Open" (2001)
* Radio Music Award for 'Rock Song of the Year' - "With Arms Wide Open" (2000)
* Radio Music Award for 'Rock Group of the Year' (2000)
* VH1 award – 'Welcome To The Big Time' (Best Newcomer) (2000)
* VH1 award – '2 for 2' (2 hit albums in a row) (2000)
* VH1 award – 'Group of the Year' (2000)
* VH1 award – 'Song of the Year' – "Higher" (2000)
* American Music award – 'Favorite Pop Album' (Human Clay) (2001)
* American Music award – 'Favorite Alternative Artist' (2001)
* American Music award – 'Favorite Alternative Artist' (2003)
* American Music award – 'Favorite Pop/Rock band/Duo/Group' (2003)
* People’s Choice award for 'Favorite Group' (2003)
* Billboard Catalog 'Artist of the Year' (2001)
* Billboard Catalog 'Album of the Year' (2001)
* Billboard 'Rock Track of the Year'- "One" (1999)
* Billboard 'Duo/Group of the Year' (2002)
* Catalog 'Artist of the Year' (2002)
* Catalog 'Album of the Year' (2002)
* VH1 Award – 'Album of the Year' (2002)
* NARM Awards – 'Best Selling Rock Records' – Human Clay album (2001)
* NARM awards – 'Best Selling Chart-making Recordings – Human Clay (2001)
[edit] References
1. ^ Rosen, Craig. "Creed's Stapp To Limp Bizkit's Durst: Get In The Ring", 2000-07-14. Retrieved on 2007-01-10.
[Mar 6,2008 2:18pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
Oh good one Bob No Maam Rooney but either thats a coincedence or you're as big a pussy as the rest of this gay board.
[Mar 6,2008 2:18pm - brian_dc ""]
that's my way of calling this thread gay
fyi
[Mar 6,2008 2:19pm - largefreakatzero ""]
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:At least Bob Rooney has the balls to use his real name. Too bad none of you are untouchable, none of you. The internet only hides you for so long.
Hi, my name is Andy and I play guitar in Life at Zero. Your internet threats were so terrifying that I really had to think twice about posting, but golly, here I am.
[Mar 6,2008 2:20pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
Ae. Creed is the level you assholes could achieve if you spent more time working on songs and playing your instruments. At least Briandc has taste and doesn't talk shit.
[Mar 6,2008 2:21pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
oH WELL FUCK YOU TOO BRINA DC
[Mar 6,2008 2:21pm - brian_dc ""]
LOL
[Mar 6,2008 2:22pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
largefreakatzero said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:At least Bob Rooney has the balls to use his real name. Too bad none of you are untouchable, none of you. The internet only hides you for so long.
Hi, my name is Andy and I play guitar in Life at Zero. Your internet threats were so terrifying that I really had to think twice about posting, but golly, here I am.
I'm not retarded I can hear your sarcasm. Unless youre a fag who uses the word golly, but idk if any of you are THAT gay.
[Mar 6,2008 2:25pm - SkinSandwich ""]
On average, the Pentagon uses 666 rolls of toilet paper in one day
[Mar 6,2008 2:28pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
HAI GUYZ WUTS GOIN ON IN DIS THREAD?!!?@!?
[Mar 6,2008 2:28pm - contagion ""]
SkinSandwich said:On average, the Pentagon uses 666 rolls of toilet paper in one dayhillary clinton uses 616 tampons a month
[Mar 6,2008 2:29pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
I don't understand why you metalfags do it.
Listening to obscure shitty music (or should I say noise) does not make you cool. You aren't impressing anyone. Maybe you just get turned on when you hear twats grumble on the mic to the tune of their bandmates having seizures on guitars and rolling their faces around drumkits. An autistic child could make more intelligible music. At least mainstream music like 50 Cent has a beat so you can dance to it.
tl;dr FUCK METAL
[Mar 6,2008 2:30pm - SkinSandwich ""]
Alcoholic beverages have all 13 minerals necessary for human life
[Mar 6,2008 2:33pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
I thinbk Destroy a lot is kidding but if youre not than youre an asshole too. I like metal but if all it is are you shit talkers then maybe I'll side with you.
[Mar 6,2008 2:35pm - largefreakatzero ""]
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:
largefreakatzero said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:At least Bob Rooney has the balls to use his real name. Too bad none of you are untouchable, none of you. The internet only hides you for so long.
Hi, my name is Andy and I play guitar in Life at Zero. Your internet threats were so terrifying that I really had to think twice about posting, but golly, here I am.
I'm not retarded I can hear your sarcasm. Unless youre a fag who uses the word golly, but idk if any of you are THAT gay.
Fag, huh? You are welcome to come track me down anytime. I'm not that hard to find.
[Mar 6,2008 2:36pm - W3 nli ""]
YOU ARE TRUEBALL LICKERS AND THE ONES WHO WILL SNIFF CROTCHES LIKE DOGS, THE DOGS THAT YOU WILL DIE LIKE.
i love rttp, thank you aaron peepeeless
[Mar 6,2008 2:36pm - markfuckingrichards ""]
Are you really going to let a fucking internet messageboard that prides itself on being as sarcastic as possible bother you that much? No one is going to feel guilty for saying anything on here, no one will have regrets and everyone will laugh because you're actually letting this get to you so much. Way to threaten people on the internet over nothing. Take it with a grain of salt and get the sand out of your tender vagina. Nothing you say will hold any water on this website. You are out of your element. And if you want to be a bitch about it, expect to be made fun of anymore. My name is Mark Richards. I play guitar in Composted and Terminally Your Aborted Ghost. If you'd like to discuss this further over yes and crumpets, come to a show. And keep in mind, I didn't say shut about whatever band is in question here. Just letting you know that you're digging yourself into a very deep hole.
And a worthwhile fact: squirrels live an average of 1 year in the wild, but up to 20 in captivity.
[Mar 6,2008 2:37pm - largefreakatzero ""]
DestroyYouAlot said:I don't understand why you metalfags do it.
Listening to obscure shitty music (or should I say noise) does not make you cool. You aren't impressing anyone. Maybe you just get turned on when you hear twats grumble on the mic to the tune of their bandmates having seizures on guitars and rolling their faces around drumkits. An autistic child could make more intelligible music. At least mainstream music like 50 Cent has a beat so you can dance to it.
tl;dr FUCK METAL
Exactly!
[Mar 6,2008 2:40pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
it doesn't get to me that bad if you guys didn't get so pissy when its you on the receiving end of the trashing.The only hole I'm gonna dig is the grave for you and your faggy bandmates. Go shove dildoes in your ass again fag.
[Mar 6,2008 2:42pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
KoЯn
The Godfathers of Nu-Metal. Inspired by 80's metal. Now copied by a bunch of poser bands. Even Metallica, a METAL band, tried to copy their sound in St. Anger with sucked horribly but Metallica is still the greatest band. Korn is one of the few bands were are not completely controlled by the record producers.
And fuck, what the hell are you guys talking about. Only goths listen to Korn? Seriously. Quote They use "studio magic" to make it sound good at all. Have you been to a live show. The effects and vocals are all done themselves and sound exactly like the CD's
They were the first band to come out with that sound and were copied by crappy bands and put in a bunch of dumb categories and had lots of good songs and albums and are now bashed by a bunch of faggots.
They have lots of respect from bands in the metal scene and you guys should fuck off.
[Mar 6,2008 2:48pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
THAT'S IT I'M DONE FOR NOW BUT DONT TALK TOO MUCH SHIT BEFORE I GET BACK HAHA
[Mar 6,2008 2:49pm - ouchdrummer ""]
you can't be serious. Lighten up. I mean if you seriously think everyone on this board is so stupid why would you post here in the first place? And once you got made fun of, why did you reply with this thread? I mean, like you said "the real scene" wants nothing to do with us, so why do you care what we think.... by the way, my name is Jim Fitzpatrick and i played in the now defunct ouch. You stink like poop.
[Mar 6,2008 2:51pm - ouchdrummer ""]
by the way, you sound like the biggest whinney bitch on the planet right now.
[Mar 6,2008 2:51pm - brian_dc ""]
everyone here is genuinely upset about this. You've made us all feel bad and we're all going to quit now.
[Mar 6,2008 2:52pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
Rule # 551: I NEVER (except once, but even that they managed to leave out the worst bits) hear of any news of any crimes committed by USA by the American news media, unless I research it through google or/and watch the history channel, which even that they imply it but NEVER directly state it, else fear of reprisal from the Pentagon, as happened to CNN, for a decade, after Gulf War I. Most current example would be Iraqis INDIRECTLY telling the USA you can have our oil, but stop bombing us, as well as the internal religious & cultural strife between the 3 different ethnic groups, same as in Yugoslavia, where it was about mineral rights by USA companies rather than about oil, allowing USA to legitimize and legalize through UN the illegal aggression against a NON-threatening nation by USA, which the USA feeds on, the old tactic of divide & conquer they learned from Britain, which divided Iraq & Kuwait, which resulted in the Gulf War I & II, which is manifested in the so-called free elections, which legitimize USA aggression of taking over a sovereign country for its oil, which few seem to notice that the Gulf War I & II was about oil & the Euro, and it NOTHING to do with WMD, since the top Iraqi scientists had IQ of someone with an Associate degree in physics, which is enough to understand the basics, but NOT enough to build all the complex parts, why Iraq needed help from the French. Most commonly used tactic of trolls is to call (a) NON-troll(s) (a) troll(s), sort of like Capitalists were calling Communists evil, when both were same: what was happening was that 2 super trolls fighting each other for supremacy. And, Negative Energy is so powerful that it takes an entire society to stop a troll, sort of like 1 bad fruit can ruin all the good fruits in a basket. And, there seems to be levels of trolls, from the most vicious to the average: society seems to be infected with them, mostly average, which seem to be controlled by the few, who are most evil & vicious. The amount of Negative Energy it takes to control society or/and escape laws of society is proportional to amount of energy needed to bypass laws of physics, in what is commonly understood as the light barrier, escaping it allows FTL, time & dimensional travel, by excessively manipulating Negative Energy, which in the/this 2nd example: I don’t mean psychology, but in manner of accumulating science TL in similar way excess greed would accumulate wealth, power, resources, & fame, which where US(A) Presidents have a nasty habit of having ulterior evil motives for their so-called good deeds, some form of imperialism.
Rule # 550: There are 5 parts to this rule. Based on my Rule # 3 & Rule # 6, this: {(0,0) END} is a human, usually a male human, at least in this rpg HYBRID, since women are too complicated to make in my rpg, since creating women in my rpg requires politically incorrect math, but to return to what I was saying before I digressed, is as follows: although I’m using the {(x,y) END} from Champions/Hero to illustrate a point that being {(0,0) END} ought to be for a human, usually a male human, at least in rpg HYBRID. The variable (y) which in Champions/Hero is/was meant to define LS in terms of “END” @ some fraction that of default LS, which its C# depends on the character, better to use C2, since it will give greater LS or Life Span, but less C2 PL or Power Level, if the original C# had been C1 in terms of C2 before using the ˝ which will then @ C2 increase PL to 98 C2 which is NOT mutant power but what C2 value for IQ, which is NOT what IQ is @ 98, but IQ is 260 @ 98 C2, which is then reduced to get mutant power(s). If the original C# had been C1 rater than C2, #s for both being different of course, then LS @ C1 would be 10 rather than 20, if starting default LS or 0 END had been @ 20 C1, then PL would increase to 20x2 = 40 C1 rather than 49x2 = 98 C2, but LS or Life Span using C1 is ˝ the C2, meaning manipulating points @ C1, gives a 10 C1 LS rather than a 49/2 = 24.5 C2, which is a 15 C1 by X^LOG10(X), where 20 C1 = 49 C2 and 15 C1 = 24 C2, approximately. The ˝ is or was supposed to be ˝ of C2 for LS or Life Span, but somewhere along the line, it seems to have gotten mistranslated into ˝ END, @ -1 limitation for default Life Span, giving a +1 advantage for Power Level for the mutant, which coincidently is similar to the way it works in my rpg HYBRID, where I’d multiply default PL by 2x, reducing LS by 2x, by multiplying LS by ˝, allowing one to multiply PL by 2x, but it is difficult to explain why it’s similar, either coincidence or/and more than a coincidence, but then again, I was thinking about END in 1987, as its important in the scheme of things, that of MU TSR rpg which, later, I made it to be @ C2, for its health stat, which is usually @ C2, a conclusion I came up with in the 1990s, which is different from the Karma stats, which usually are @ C1, although Intuition can be @ C2 if poorly defined or/and if poorly used, but Intuition that of the MU mutant humanoid female character Destiny has her Intuition @ either C2 or C1, NOT sure, since it depends on how you interpret that female character, if she’s scamming you or/and if she’s for real, although even if she’s scamming her victims @ C2, she can be or/and still is very effective, and if her Intuition is @ C1 PL, then you can interpret that character as you like, although if her psychic powers is that of the MU Purple Man, then her Intuition is @ C2, rather than C1 PL, which is more like that of Dr Doom, before I even discovered to come up with a stat called LS or Life Span, which, for this example, is ˝ C2 of original default Life Span, in order to increase PL or Power Level by factor of 2x. The reason it has to be a limitation is for PL or Power Level to have an advantage, the LS or Life Span must take on the -1 limitation, which is ˝ C2 for Life Span, which original was @ 0 END or @ default, whatever value it was @ for that mutant. In Champions/Hero rpg, END (0, ˝) USUALLY APPLIES TO MUTANTS AND means that person starts @ 0, which is NOT a value of 0, but meaning default, THEN if the character is a mutant, but he must be a mutant in order for him to have the or/and be @ ˝, which is what his mutant power level will by @ after his IQ is reduced after his IQ is increased by +1 advantage, meaning his C2 will double or increase by factor of 2x, which is then reduced to ˝ advantage or ˝ limitation from his 2nd 0 END, which is his NEW PL after having his PL increased due to his LS or Life Span decreased, such for a character such as the MU Spiderman, allowing him to increase his PL or Power Level @ C2 by factor of 2x with advantage of +1, which @ C2 for IQ is increased to which must be decreased to have mutant power(s), the more he decreases his IQ, the more power(s) he gets, and NOTE that he already starts with a larger LS or Life Span than an average adult male human, allowing him to decrease his LS to human levels, which in turn will increase his PL, and since his PL is, also, greater than average adult male human, his PL will increase even more, with his LS decreased: this all can be reversed to apply for PL (rather than LS) @ C2 of ˝ its original value @ -1 limitation, which will increase LS by a factor of 2x which is +1 advantage, to increase LS @ C2 by factor of 2 by advantage of +1, which is NOT usually done, since mutants usually crave power(s) rather than longevity or/and longer life span: this is NOT the rule itself, but a little background information on what I’m about to say after my next comment, which will also serve as a little extra background information on what I’ll say later, in a brief moment, after this brief commentary to serve as a little background information on what I’ll say later so that it’s NOT taken out of context. NOTE that default has multiple values, depending on if it’s fixed or NOT, both can take on the concept/term of 0 END, which is term from Hero & its predecessor, Champions rpg: this is a side note & NOT the rule itself: a little background information. The Psyche stat for the MU character Dark Phoenix is within a range of 30 to 40 C1 Default Psyche, with Phoenix being @ 20 to 30 C1 DP, with Jean Grey’s powers @ 20 C1 DP, although she isn’t @ that, since her COM is that of a woman & NOT a guy, but getting back to what I was saying that being Dark Phoenix’s creator, Professor X is @ 49 or 50 C1 Default Psyche. The ’86 MU TSR rpg creates an interesting paradox with the MU character Dark Phoenix which is NOT what this rule is about but serves as background to what I’ll say later. The purpose of why the ’86 MU TSR rpg killed the Dark Phoenix off, temporarily, because she maximized her stats, lowering her Life Span to increase her Power Level, besides Xaiver NO longer wanting her give Jean Grey extra powers, where she was acting as herald for Xavier, similar to way Norinn Radd acted as herald for Galacuts, but getting back to what I was saying about the Dark Phoenix getting killed off temporarily because she maximized her stats, based on combination of 3 (three) things: [{X^LOG10(X) @ C1} for X @ C2], in conjunction with Rule # 3 & Rule # 6}, meaning her unusually high stats can be explained away with the/my original equation X^LOG10(X), using Rule # 3 & Rule # 6: this will serve as background to what I’m about to say. The purpose of my grandiose statement in Part II of this rule is NOT to reveal how pretentious I seem to be, but to reveal how all rpgs can be reduced to 2 recursive equations, like the 2 blades on a helicopter: major equation being X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X for point distribution & the minor equation being X^LN(X) for some of its properties @ C# for X, although you can define the properties, using the original X^LOG10(X), without having to rely on its minor sibling equation X^LN(X), and/but relying too heavily on X^LN(X) is NOT good idea, to rely too heavily on it, that is, since you might end up with similar problem if the equation had been instead X^2, since the X is based on the equation X^LOG10(X), which is the main equation for point distribution @ C#. This equation could just as well be written as X^2, as the recursive equation, instead, for point distribution, but X^2 would NOT give the correct point distribution used by the other rpgs, except @ LOG10(100), FOR EXPONENT, = 2, although it does give some interesting results to ponder, and/but if I were to use X^2, then I’d have to rewrite most of my rules: which I don’t want to, NOR feel like it, and besides it would move me away from my main objective which is to have a 1 page rpg, which can be done with Rule # 3 & Rule # 6, & the 2 simple recursive equations just mentioned above, X^LOG10(X) & X^LN(X) @ C# for X, for point distribution. The odd thing about Part 2 of this rule is that even my favorite colors which changed over time seem to reflect comic books characters, is an example of Maxwell’s equation of time travel. There are 4 parts to this rule. The DC character Spectre is an extreme version of the 2nd part of this rule, that being Maxwell’s equation of time travel, which in terms of MU is Captain Universe, when Spiderman was taken over by Captain Universe when he was taken to the micro-verse [subatomic universe of MU] by the subatomic MU character Fear, which is what’s to come in Part 2, but I didn’t supply an/any example, which is what I just said. For Part 1, then, the first modification to make to the Fibonacci # is TO add LOG10(% of accuracy of TL). But, even before that, one must NOTE THAT THE C# has properties similar to gravity, in that both are recursive, and using the Fibonacci series on C# doesn’t always give you the correct TL # @ that C# when computing TL based on C#, since taking root Y, based on some Fibonacci #, which has to be modified, but when C# is small, that modification isn’t too great NOR too complicated. And, just like laws of physics break down when gravity is too intense inside singularity, but @ same time within some universal set of physics, similarly, if one could figure out the correct modification to the Fibonacci # that one could apply to C# to figure out Y root of C#, he could figure TL, even with a large C#, which will eventually give an even larger C#, when # in C# is very large, but both my lat former & latter comment are different, regarding #, which are of 2 types, being (# C#), which might be said or/and written as (# @ C#), in which there are 2 types of #s. And, a value of 10 C in the ’86 MU TSR rpg is 10 C0, both being @ a unitless unit, where 10 is a neutral value, until, a proper unit is assigned, same with Champions / Hero, which have inconsistent units of magnitudes, similar mistake that the ’86 MU TSR rpg make, perhaps it used Maxwell’s time travel equation to steal my ideas from the future, since it, the ’86 MU TSR rpg lacks the proper unit of magnitude, the only way that can happen is if it’s stolen my ideas, unless it is intentionally keeping out the proper units of magnitude from the public, for some unknown reason, maybe for same Reason that Nostradamas was vague, but @ same time was a fraud when it came to chemistry, but was @ same time genius when it came to predicting future events, unless it was based on some other book, that being the bible code, which IF true is based on Maxwell’s equation of time travel, same way these other rpgs are stealing my ideas before I have chance to invent it & claim it as their own even though it’s probably NOT their own, but probably mine, since fragments of many (close to all) of my ideas which I independently discover without any outside resource shows up in different rpgs, as well as in recent scientific discoveries, predicted 1st by my rpg HYBRID & its equations & algorithms, including the many recent discoveries also predicted by my rpg HYBRID & its equations & algorithms, predictions such as that of there being microscopic black-holes, is based on my recursive equation X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, IF I DO NOT SOUND PRETENTIOUS, then, also, the super computers is, also, based on my recursive equation of X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, as well as teleportation that the pentagon is researching into is based on my recursive equation X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, & creating a viable human from an egg without a sperm, is based on my recursive equation X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, my idea(s), where the sperm(s) has/have a parasitic propert(y/ies), because the male human has LESS points than the human female, is how the 2 genders operate: why, animals within the same specie look alike, and difference in appearance is between differing species is just topology, but similarities between the 2 genders within the same specie look alike for reason that since difference in points for the 2 genders are close to being similar for animals, although ratio is never @ 1:1, else THEN reproduction would be difficult @ 1:1 ratio, but NOT impossible, but possible, depending on, again, my major recursive equation X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, and its minor sibling equation X^LN(X) @ C# for X, but the female will always get more points than the male, UNLESS the male is a mutant, but he must NOT looked deformed, but he looks deformed, he (mutant) to be superior must have hidden points, to be equal to a female; while, we humans are/look different in terms of appearance, since the human female has LOT MORE points than the human male, and being humanoid in shape, also, gives us more points, by simply having that humanoid shape, where the shape or/and topology of having a humanoid shape acts to reinforce the laws of conservation of mass & energy, according to math, since physics is based on math, why math is more gibberish than physics, which according to 1 theory, the universe before it created itself, scanned alternate timelines & picked 1, and created itself, BASED ON my 2 universal recursive equations: X^LOG10(X) & X^LN(X) @ C# for X, which it seems/looks to me that in my opinion the universe, reality, & all its dimensions that we live in & don’t perceive, its rules & laws, including laws of quantum mechanics & relativity that of Einstein, IS BASED ON my 2 universal recursive equations: X^LOG10(X) & X^LN(X) @ C# for X, why all rpgs have point distribution @ C#, based on X^LOG10(X), while 2nd minor equation X^LN(X) is just an extra equation to make sure that the other 1st major equation that of X^LOG10(X) is properly & efficiently used, where even history itself is based on my 2 universal recursive equations: X^LOG10(X) & X^LN(X) @ C# for X. So, in effect reality is based on my ideas or/and my rpg, HYBRID, which is what all rpgs are based on & all science, math & engineering is based on my 2 simple recursive equations: X^LOG10(X) & X^LN(X), including useful to fractals, including physical objects that look like or/and seem to be puzzles such as a Rubik cube or/and its manifestations, and everything else, including genders, including any & all science-fiction is based on these 2 equations of mine, which is what my rpg HYBRID is based. And, perhaps the first rpg that I read, the ’86 MU TSR rpg, was (it seems or perhaps it is: all my evidence points to this) based on my future rpg, HYBRID, that I would try to create in the 1990s, but is still incomplete, but as far as C# goes, it’s % of completion is [(year – 1990)^2] = % of completion for C#, but as far as myself having all the rules for manipulating C# is incomplete, but based on the equation 2 equations, major being @ X^LOG10(X), and its minor sibling being @ X^LN(X), since I’m NOT genius, and it would take a genius to complete all the rules. So, just as gravity can take on different values, so can C#, each being different, in terms of how dense or not it is for its point distribution. I will momentary digress with this brief statement that the unit of magnitude CA in my rpg HYBRID stands for CMagic, and as for the letter “C”, by itself would be written as C0, a neutral unit of magnitude being a unitless unit, meaning undefined as of yet, same as C#, is the quantum state but defined in some specific C# for point distribution, where C1 is less dense than CA, which is usually maximum value for the MU Beyonder. And, since there isn’t any entity or/and force more powerful than the Beyonder in any science-fiction, then the maximum unit of magnitude is CA. Now, to return to the rule itself: the unit of magnitude of C1 & CA which is used in my rpg, HYBRID, is coincidently proportional or/& similar to Mega-scale of Champions/Hero rpg, depending on how you wish to define Mega-scale, which can sometimes be defined as advantage or limitation or modifier or as a # of points, similar to its Real & Active points. And, for a human, C2 or/and C1 might be considered for the same purpose of magnifying results, by simply increasing unity by 1, by “increasing”: I mean decreasing # in C#, causing an increase in C#, by 1 unit of magnitude, which sounds like a paradox, but so is reality, which is a paradox, which is my original mutant equation of transforming an adult male human into a mutant, such as by changing his C2 to C1 as his 0 END, which only the GM can do, unless given the option, if he is already a mutant, such as Dr. Banner/ HULK or Peter Parker in Part II of Spiderman movie, where he lose his powers to increase his IQ, which he then later reduce to get back his powers. NOTE that 0 END is simply default stat(s), which can vary depending on IF it has been altered in some way, based on Rule # 3 & 6, which determine how much his Life Span can be reduced, so as to increase his PL or Power Level, where # END can take on 2 types of values, either what END (in terms of LS) is reduced to or is stated in terms of advantages or/& limitations, but the END when defined/stated as characteristic in Champions/ Hero is @ 0 END, sort of like when LS @ C# is reduced to ˝, same as ˝ END, so it has multiple meanings, although LS in terms of C#, is exponential, in terms of how C# is set up for Life Span & Power Level. And, when LS is redu
post was too long read more at your own risk
[Mar 6,2008 2:54pm - brian_dc ""]
DYA broke the internet...I'm not sure this is going to even work!
[Mar 6,2008 2:55pm - aaron_michael ""]
so, I think the question to be asked now is, what member of what band could possibly be butt hurt enough to post a rant like this?
even if this thread if just for laughs, I always found it astonishing that people in bands think that EVERYONE in the world is going to like them. of course, about eighty percent of those kinds of people aren't in metal bands.
I've run into plenty of people in bands that when they're introduced as "Mike from something-something-something-or-other", when I say things like "nice to meet you *insertsmalltalk* I'm not really into your band, sorry man.", and they look like they're going to go berserk.
Or when I have something critical to say about a song or a riff, it's like their entire world has come apart because one person has been honest in that their "shredding" just isn't my cup of tea.
Anyways, I "lol'd" at work after reading the initial post, and if it's real, then whoever posted it should take a good long look in the mirror, tell himself he's not in Rush, then proceed to blow his stupid brains out for thinking that the vast majority of this message board actually gives a shit if they offended him and his(his idol's, his mother's, or his friend's) band.
there's plenty of bad music in the world, no need to cry.
[Mar 6,2008 2:58pm - SkinSandwich ""]
just before his suicide in April 1945, Adolf Hitler donated two dirty bombs, functional atomic bombs, to Japan. The two bombs were loaded on a German submarine en route to Japan but the submarine (U-234) was intercepted by a US destroyer which found uranium oxide on it A giant Japanese submarine was waiting for the two bombs, one of which was scheduled to be detonated over San Francisco on August 17, 1945, only 11 days after this little boy was dropped over Hiroshima.
[Mar 6,2008 3:06pm - kadooganism ""]
DESTROYYOUALOTSAID I BROKE DA INTERNET
[Mar 6,2008 3:07pm - kadooganism ""]
HAHAHA I TRICKED YOU ALL I AM THE MOST CONVINCING FAKE POSTER EVER AND YOU WILL NEVER KNOW BECAUSE NO ONE CAN READ THIS BAHAHAHAHAHA
But in case it gets fixed, I OWN YOUR SOULS.
[Mar 6,2008 3:26pm - PeteovDom ""]
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:NO One on here is man enough to say anything? You all talk shit and then spit bullshit when you get called out on it.
this is probably KarmaEnema.
[Mar 6,2008 3:30pm - brian_dc ""]
I await the day that I can be seen
[Mar 6,2008 3:32pm - brian_dc ""]
password for the_reverend: filliecheizstakes
[Mar 6,2008 3:32pm - DrewBlood ""]
i love this thread
[Mar 6,2008 3:32pm - brian_dc ""]
:NEWHORNS::middlefinger::shocker::shocked::spineyes::satancross::skull::happymac::bartnormal::duffbeer::gun::bartmoon::radio::yoda::nuke::cd::point::thescream::tightiewhities::tmnt1::tmnt2::tmnt3::tmnt4::swedenflag::moe::wiggam::stupidflanders::ralphie::itchy::sctachy::krusty::doublehorns:8^(>:]
:bow::whipper::pukeface::HUMP::LOL::D[Mar 6,2008 3:33pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
NO U
[Mar 6,2008 3:33pm - largefreakatzero ""]
brian_dc said:everyone here is genuinely upset about this. You've made us all feel bad and we're all going to quit now.
Wanted to see if the quote thing worked.
[Mar 6,2008 3:34pm - Archaeon ""]
RichHorror said:
diarrhea_blumps%20nli said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said: RESPOND WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING WORTHY TO SAY.
pigs can orgasm for up to 30 minutes....
The diamond is the hardest substance known to man.
Wrong. that would be MSD's penis at a playground.
[Mar 6,2008 3:41pm - DrewBlood ""]
[img]
have you seen him?
[Mar 6,2008 3:42pm - brian_dc ""]
I agree with Drew
whatever he said
I agree
[Mar 6,2008 3:43pm - Mucko ""]
Fantastic.
[Mar 6,2008 3:44pm - brian_dc ""]
what phenomenal timing
[Mar 6,2008 3:45pm - brian_dc ""]
uhhh...LOL at the post that crippled the thread
[Mar 6,2008 3:48pm - the_reverend ""]
http://consumerist.com/364563/complaint-re...of-negative-links-including-lolcats
[Mar 6,2008 3:51pm - largefreakatzero ""]
"RULE # 220: Based on the Rasolon episode of Dr Who, it is possible that the TARDIS’s source of energy is anti-matter emanating from either a black hole somewhere in the galaxy or the black hole @ the center of the galaxy."
Haha -- what the fuck is this???
[Mar 6,2008 3:54pm - ouchdrummer ""]
diarrhea_blumps%20nli said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said: RESPOND WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING WORTHY TO SAY.
pigs can orgasm for up to 30 minutes....
I am not sure about the pigs orgasming for 30 minutes, but i am sure that their vaginas are great because they feel most like a humans.... very moist
[Mar 6,2008 3:55pm - deadlikemurf ""]
"THE STACKHOUSE FILIBUSTER"
TELEPLAY BY: AARON SORKIN
STORY BY: PETE MCCABE
DIRECTED BY: BRYAN GORDON
TEASER
FADE IN: EXT. WASHINGTON, D.C. - NIGHT
C.J. [VO]
Dear Dad. First of all, Happy Birthday. Second of all, let me explain why I'm not on my
way there right now. You're not going to believe this, but it's because of a filibuster.
A filibuster that no one ever saw coming. Not the Senate leadership. Not the Party
leadership. And not me.
CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - NIGHT
C.J. is sitting at her computer typing an email to her father. A television is on in the
background.
C.J. [VO]
And if you're angry at me, well, you've got a lot of company. I'm going to explain all
this. Right now, it's Friday night and everyone is trying to get out the door - only I
won't let them.
CUT TO: INT. SAM'S OFFICE - NIGHT
A television is shown to be on C-SPAN2, broadcasting the U.S. Senate Live. A Democratic
Senator from Minnesota, HOWARD STACKHOUSE, has the floor and is reading from a recipe book.
HOWARD STACKHOUSE
...non absorbent paper. Yields approximately four servings.
Sam is watching the television, looking quite dismayed.
SAM
[to himself] This isn't happening.
Sam looks at his watch as STACKHOUSE continues to read.
STACKHOUSE
...sauce, or chili sauce...
Sam spots C.J. in the COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE.
SAM
C.J.!
C.J.
Yeah.
SAM
What the hell is he doing?
Sam and C.J. walk through into the CORRIDOR.
C.J.
It's a recipe for deep fried fantail shrimp.
SAM
Yeah. But, what's he still doing up there?
C.J.
He's got a recipe book.
SAM
How long will it go?
C.J.
I don't know.
SAM
I'm saying how many recipes are there?
C.J.
Altogether?
SAM
Yeah.
C.J.
I can't cook, but I think there are probably like 20 or 30.
SAM
You're screwing around with me.
C.J.
Oh, yeah.
SAM
I'm about to miss the 7:30 shuttle. If I miss the 8:30, I miss the last train to
Sag Harbor.
C.J. is handed a piece of paper by a staffer.
C.J.
You can spend the night in New York.
SAM
I've only got two nights. And you've gotta see this house.
C.J.
It's cool?
SAM
It's a Frank Lloyd Wright.
C.J.
Isn't it cold in Sag Harbor right now?
SAM
We wear sweaters. It's a Tommy Hilfiger ad.
C.J.
It can't last forever.
SAM
He's got 20 to 30 recipes he can still read.
Sam stops walking while C.J. continues through swinging doors into the JOSH'S BULLPEN,
still talking to Sam.
C.J.
Sam, seriously, there are more recipes than that.
SAM
Who cares? He's blowing my weekend in the Hamptons.
C.J.
Maybe he doesn't know about the sweaters.
Sam turns around and walks away.
C.J. [VO]
The reason they needed to stick around was that the moment the filibuster's over, there
will be a vote and once they vote, I need my spin boys.
C.J. is walking through JOSH'S BULLPEN.
JOSH
C.J....
C.J.
I know!
Josh jumps up from his chair and walks with C.J. through the bullpen.
JOSH
Who gave him the recipe book?
C.J.
I really don't think we can blame this on the recipe book. Plus, I now know the secret to
cold asparagus chantilly is a quarter cup whipped cream.
JOSH
I'm going to Port Saint Lucie, which may not mean anything to you, but happens to be the
spring training home of the...
C.J.
New York Jets. Yes, you've told me. Josh, you can watch basketball on T.V.
JOSH
Yes, except the New York Knicks are a basketball team, the New York Jets are a football
team, and Port Saint Lucie is the spring training home of the New York...
C.J.
[exasperated] Mets! Yes. Dammit, I'm inadequate.
Josh stops at the bottom of a small staircase that leads to the Briefing Room, while C.J.
continues. C.J. stops at the top to listen to Josh.
JOSH
A weekend at spring training. Mike Piazza is going to be standing in the batting cage.
[strikes a batting pose] He's going to turn and see me. He's going to say, 'Dude.'
C.J.
Well, I wouldn't want you to miss a legitimate 'dude' sighting.
JOSH
[excited] So I can take off?
C.J.
No.
C.J. walks into the PRESS BRIEFING ROOM full of reporters.
C.J. [VO]
Why do I need the spin? Because it's a bipartisan bill and I'm all for bipartisanship
as long as we get the credit. So, I've taken the press corps hostage.
The moment C.J. enters and heads for the podium, all of the reporters start calling her
name. A television in the room is tuned to Stackhouse on C-SPAN2 as he continues to talk.
C.J.
Guys, I'm sorry, but you know what? Listen, seriously, you're looking at democracy at
work, it's a beautiful thing.
REPORTER 1
And how much more beauty can we be expecting tonight, C.J.
C.J.
Well, I wouldn't think it would be that much longer.
REPORTER 2
He's got a recipe book.
C.J.
Yeah, but how many recipes can there be? 20? 30?
Another reporter, Mark, rushes up to C.J.
MARK
[in a loud whisper] C.J., it's Friday night. I'm supposed to have dinner with my
girlfriend. She's going to kill me.
C.J.
Yeah, but you know what, Mark? This is just the kind of thing that can cleanse the palate
of a relationship that's gone stale. Like a fine sorbet.
MARK
We've been going out three weeks.
C.J.
And she's already bitching about dinner?
MARK
C.J....
C.J.
Lose her.
Mark goes back to his seat as C.J. walks behind the podium. The reporters start to call
her name again.
C.J.
Listen up! Everybody, this was unforeseen. Obviously, he's got to finish sometime. When
he does, there will be a vote immediately. When it's done, the President will make his
calls, White House staff will be available for comment, and most important you will all
write about it. In the mean time, I say, pizza for everybody! Who's with me?
The room is silent.
C.J.
Excellent!
C.J. gathers her papers and leaves. Carol meets her outside the door and follows
C.J. through the HALLWAYS.
C.J.
We're going to need like a massive truckload of pizza. And, I don't know, maybe some
Cuervo 1800 if we've got it lying around.
CAROL
How much?
C.J.
Just enough for me.
Toby approaches.
TOBY
C.J., just so you know, I need to be at Telluride first thing in the morning.
C.J.
That's a rough assignment you pulled there.
TOBY
No, I'm saying, I already missed the 6:50 to Denver, but I can catch an 8:40 from
National if I change planes in Chicago.
C.J. and Toby enter C.J.'S OFFICE. Toby is bouncing his pink rubber ball.
C.J.
And as you're travel agent, it's important that you update me on that information.
TOBY
C.J....
C.J.
I'm supposed to be on my way to Napa right now for my Dad's 70th birthday. You hear me
complaining?
TOBY
You just did.
C.J.
Get out.
C.J. sits behind her desk with her computer.
TOBY
It's your dad's 70th birthday?
C.J.
Yeah.
TOBY
You doing anything?
C.J.
Yeah, we're all getting together in Napa.
TOBY
[quietly] I meant right now.
C.J.
No. I'm sitting and waiting. I'm ordering pizza. I'm catching up on e-mails.
TOBY
All right. I got a a basketball game on in my office if you want to come by?
C.J.
Is it the Jets and the Mets?
TOBY
It's the Nets and the Hawks. [with disdain] The Jets and the Mets?
C.J.
I know the teams. I'm joking when I do this. I'm joking when I do this.
TOBY
Okay.
Toby turns to leave, then turns back around.
TOBY
You know there's a 9:00 to SFO. You could drive to Napa.
C.J.
Yeah.
TOBY
All right. I'm in my office.
C.J. turns to look at the television, where Stackhouse is still speaking.
C.J.
It'll end.
TOBY
Do you have any idea how many recipes there are?
C.J.
I really don't.
Toby leaves.
STACKHOUSE [on T.V.]
...teaspoon of dry mustard...
C.J. begins to type.
C.J. [VO]
So, the press is in the briefing room. The staff is in the West Wing. And I'm right here.
I'm betting when you read this, you're going to be glad I stayed. I'm betting you're
going to end up rooting for a Minnesota Senator named Howard Stackhouse. 'Cause I gotta
tell ya, this doesn't seem like any old filibuster.
SMASH CUT TO: MAIN TITLES.
END TEASER
* * *
ACT ONE
FADE IN: EXT. WASHINGTON, D.C. - NIGHT
C.J. [VO]
It's our first filibuster, and I'm not a rules expert, but the rules of a filibuster are
simple enough.
FADE TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - NIGHT
C.J. continues typing her e-mail.
C.J.
You keep the floor as long as you hold the floor. What does that mean? It means you can't
stop talking, ever. You can't eat, and you can't drink, which is fine, because you can't
leave the chamber to use the bathroom, either. But all that's nothing compared to this:
you're not allowed to sit down. You're not allowed to lean on anything or, for that matter,
anyone. It started with the bill you'll read about tomorrow morning called the Family
Wellness Act. Josh had been leading staffers from the Legislative Liaison Office in
negotiations with the conference chairman for weeks and this last Monday morning he
walked into the Roosevelt Room and said...
CUT TO: INT. THE ROOSEVELT ROOM - DAY
Josh enters and seats himself at the table.
JOSH
We got the Family Wellness Act.
LEO
It's done?
JOSH
Yes, sir.
LEO
What'd we get, what'd we lose?
JOSH
We got most of what we wanted in Title VII.
C.J.
That's infant hearing loss?
JOSH
Yeah, we got a hearing test for every child born in the U.S.
SAM
What about...?
JOSH
We did not get mandatory tests for children not born in hospitals.
SAM
We can live with that.
LEO
The Special Needs Adoption Awareness program?
JOSH
Right, this is a national campaign to provide information to the public regarding the
adoption of special needs children.
LEO
How'd we get it?
JOSH
By agreeing to a provision that would require health care staff to give pregnant women
information about adoption on an equal basis with all other courses of action.
C.J.
National Organization for Women's gonna hate that.
JOSH
I know.
C.J.
Women seeking abortions should not be required by law to be lectured at.
JOSH
Yeah, but you're gonna help me out there, right?
C.J.
Yes, I will. I will once again and betray the sisterhood.
Josh and the other men look down with small smiles.
C.J.
[pointing to each] Okay, I saw you, you, you, and you roll your eyes.
LARRY
You weren't even looking at me.
C.J.
I felt you.
LEO
[standing with others and clapping] We're done! Josh Lyman, everybody.
They all exit. Sam leaves with Josh.
SAM
Nice job.
JOSH
I know, I'm thinking seriously about turning pro.
SAM
Yeah?
JOSH
Yeah, I got agents talking to me, telling me I could go high in the second round, maybe
low in the first if I have a good postseason.
SAM
You don't want to stay in school, get your education?
JOSH
Nah, I'm white, nobody's gonna mind.
They walk into LEO'S OFFICE.
LEO
Josh, this looks good. I mean, he stuck sunsets on a bunch of small-ticket items, but...
JOSH
That's the way it's gonna happen.
LEO
You just spent six billion dollars on health care. How do you feel?
JOSH
I'd feel better if it meant just once I could go to a doctor without filling out
something on a clipboard.
LEO
All right, what else?
TOBY
Philip Sluman, who's the chairman of the Petroleum Producers of America, testified
yesterday to the FTC that "the Bartlet administration's" - blah, blah - "relentless
pursuit of emissions standards in the form of additives like MTBE is a big reason
we've seen price hikes in some parts of the country."
LEO
The Energy Secretary's got to respond.
TOBY
The Energy Secretary's gonna respond and I'd like to mention that to the Vice President.
LEO
You want me to do it?
TOBY
I got it.
LEO
He's gonna be pretty unhappy.
TOBY
Yep.
LEO
Anything else?
TOBY
No...
C.J.
Nope.
JOSH
No sir, thank you.
They all exit.
CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - PRESENT
C.J. continues typing.
C.J. [VO]
So there it was, the Family Wellness Act, an omnibus health bill aimed at diseases that
disproportionately affect children. This was a good day, 'cause something got done. The
problem is, we only thought it was done. Dad, this would be a good time to mention that
it's possible that an Egyptian cat goddess named Bast has put an ancient curse on me.
CUT TO: INT. HALLWAY - DAY
C.J. walks through a hallway. Charlie catches up with her.
CHARLIE
C.J.!
C.J.
Charlie.
CHARLIE
Listen...
C.J.
May I call you Chip?
CHARLIE
No...
C.J.
Chipper?
CHARLIE
No...
C.J.
Gilligan?
CHARLIE
Listen...
C.J.
Yes?
CHARLIE
Hassan Ali's coming here at the end of the week.
C.J.
He's got 38 wives.
CHARLIE
Yeah.
C.J.
Imagine being the girl he dated who he didn't marry.
CHARLIE
C.J.?
C.J.
Hassan Ali is coming?
They reach C.J.'S OFFICE.
CHARLIE
Yeah, and on the President's trip to Cairo, Ali gave him a gift, a ceramic statue.
C.J.
Okay.
CHARLIE
The State Department told the Office of Protocol it is important that the gift be
displayed when Ali visits.
C.J.
Display it.
CHARLIE
Well, the Office of Protocol wasn't able to find it.
C.J.
They should talk to the gift officer.
CHARLIE
They did.
C.J.
And?
CHARLIE
They say you have it.
C.J.
I'm sorry?
CHARLIE
Sherry Halpurn, the gift officer on the trip, says she handed it to you in Cairo.
C.J.
Did you say a small, ceramic statue?
CHARLIE
Yeah, of a cat.
C.J.
Okay... [sighs] okay... okay.
CHARLIE
C.J.?
C.J.
Yes?
CHARLIE
You know anything about it?
C.J.
Well, I have to think about it, Charlie. It was a year ago, and it's not like I have
instant recall of every ceramic cat statue I've ever been handed in Cairo.
CHARLIE
Yeah, should I tell Protocol that...?
C.J.
Tell Protocol I'm searching my recollection.
CHARLIE
Protocol's recollection seemed pretty good.
C.J.
Leave me now.
CHARLIE
Sure.
C.J. spots Toby in the hallway.
C.J.
Toby.
TOBY
I'm going to see Hoynes, talk to me later.
C.J.
Okay, Carol?
CAROL
What do you need?
C.J.
Some information, possibly a disguise, and a fast getaway car. Come inside.
CUT TO: INT. THE MURAL ROOM - DAY
Hoynes is with several senior citizens standing with quilts. They are posing for pictures.
HOYNES
Tell me something, how did they not anticipate the flooding?
REPORTER
There was an unexpectedly high snowmelt.
HOYNES
The snow fell three months ago. Did they not think it was going to melt this year?
CANDY
Thank you, everybody.
Hoynes thanks the guests for coming as they exit.
HOYNES
Thank you so much. It was a pleasure. Thank you. Beautiful quilts.
WOMAN
Thank you very much, sir.
CANDY
The temperatures were unseasonably warm last month.
MAN 1
We don't know why.
HOYNES
Well, it could have been something due to the sun, though, right?
MAN 2
Sir?
HOYNES
We're done. [to man] Yeah?
MAN 2
Can you see Toby Ziegler?
HOYNES
Yeah. 25 million acre-feet of water, Candy, that's eight trillion gallons.
CANDY
Yes, sir. [exits with the other staffers]
HOYNES
[as Toby enters] Hey, Toby.
TOBY
Good morning, Mr. Vice President.
HOYNES
The California Aqueduct is twice the length of Pennsylvania. Did you know that?
TOBY
I knew it was pretty big.
HOYNES
What do you need?
TOBY
[as both sit] Philip Sluman, testifying yesterday in front of the FTC, charged that it
was the White House's pursuit of tighter emissions standards that's caused the rise
in prices...
HOYNES
Phil Sluman had a good point.
TOBY
Mr. Vice President, I don't want to go round and round with you on Sluman.
HOYNES
Okay.
TOBY
He had no point.
HOYNES
Policy forces them to use expensive additives whose benefits are questionable.
TOBY
It's price gouging...
Hoynes shrugs his shoulders.
TOBY
It costs marginally more to refine the fuel with the additives and the cost is being
passed on to the consumer at an outrageous markup.
HOYNES
Toby, if a refinery shuts down, if there's a fire, which isn't, like, out of the question
when you're dealing with petroleum, production comes to a halt, gas becomes scarce, the
prices go up, then they come back down.
TOBY
Well, it's good to know the companies can make it through the lean times.
HOYNES
Yeah.
TOBY
Anyway, sir, tomorrow night, Bill Trotter's gonna be delivering a speech to the Detroit
Economic Counsel on Energy Efficiency in the 21st century, and we're gonna rewrite the
draft to include a fairly strong rebuttal to Phillip Sluman's remarks.
HOYNES
[clears throat] You shouldn't have Bill Trotter do it.
TOBY
Why?
HOYNES
'Cause his rants against the oil companies have become familiar and the press has stopped
writing about them.
TOBY
Still...
HOYNES
It's also pretty dicey political terrain for the Energy Secretary.
TOBY
Who would you send?
HOYNES
To punch back? Me. [stands]
TOBY
Really?
HOYNES
I'm having a press conference tomorrow afternoon to announce an advisory group for the
antitrust policy. I'll take questions at the end, I'll open it up for anything, and they
will ask me about Sluman and oil.
TOBY
Mr. Vice President...
HOYNES
Toby, if you think I'll be too soft on him, stand in the back of the room... if you don't
like what I say, call Bill Trotter and say, "You're on for tomorrow night."
TOBY
[standing] Would you mind if I prepared some notes for you?
HOYNES
[chuckling lightly] Oh, not at all... Would you mind if I shoved them up your ass?
TOBY
[laughing] No, sir... well, thank you, sir, we appreciate it.
HOYNES
I heard you got the Family Wellness Act.
TOBY
We scheduled the vote for Friday at noon.
HOYNES
You'll have the bill by 12:05.
The filibuster continues in the background.
STACKHOUSE [VO]
...six egg yolks, three cups of heavy cream, six tablespoons of sugar, two tablespoons...
TOBY
Thank you, Mr. Vice President. [exits]
CUT TO: INT. C.J.'S OFFICE - PRESENT
C.J. [VO]
I'll get back to the cat story in a second, 'cause I have to interrupt to say this: if
you ever have a free two hours and are so inclined, try standing up without leaning on
anything and talking the whole time. You won't make it. I wouldn't make it. Stackhouse
wasn't supposed to last 15 minutes. He's 78 years old. He has a head cold. This bill is
going to pass. He has no hope, to say nothing of I can't imagine what the hell it is
he's fighting for. Stackhouse wasn't supposed to last 15 minutes.
STACKHOUSE [on T.V.]
That is how you prepare Virginia Green apple pie. Let's turn now to David Copperfield...
C.J.
[still typing] Well, somebody forgot to tell Stackhouse, Dad, cause he just went into
hour number eight.
STACKHOUSE [on T.V.]
...1870, began this great work...
FADE OUT.
END ACT ONE
* * *
ACT TWO
FADE IN: EXT. THE WHITE HOUSE - NIGHT
STACKHOUSE [VO]
...whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show...
CUT TO: INT. THE WHITE HOUSE MESS - CONTINUOUS
Sam is sitting by the T.V. in front of his laptop computer. Stackhouse is still on
T.V. reading "David Copperfield."
STACKHOUSE [on T.V.]
...To begin my life with the beginning of my life, I record I was born, as I have
been informed and believe on a Friday at 12:00 at night. It was remarked that the
clock began to strike...
C.J. walks in to grab some coffee.
STACKHOUSE [on T.V.]
...and I began to cry simultaneously...
C.J.
Hey.
SAM
Hey.
C.J.
What are you doing?
SAM
Well, it's a little complicated and indeed difficult to explain in layman's terms.
Sam is playing solitaire on the computer.
C.J.
You can put the black seven on the red eight.
Sam realizes that C.J. can se
post was too long read more at your own risk
[Mar 6,2008 4:11pm - thegreatspaldino ""]
the only way i can do sit ups is if some sweaty guy bends over in front of me
[Mar 6,2008 4:12pm - the_reverend ""]
RULE # 34: For the Soul Equation, which works similar to relativity or/and pressure or/and resistance to pressure, in computing STR of NEW (compressed) soul in terms of # of souls; but, first, note that Palestinians, who would get C3, which is a unit that is 1 less than that of the Israelis, who would get C2. So, if an average Israeli would get a 10 to 20 C2, {C3 for the aged}, then an average Palestinian would get a 5 to 20 {C3 to C4}, C3 for the elite such as elite soldiers & scientists & engineers, and C4 for non-elite (lower class: C4 to C5 for the aged). Note that C3 = C2^LOG10(C2) = C3. So, then, the for # of workers needed to make a nuclear bomb: (Human) soul vs. (another human) soul: Z^[-X + (((C2, larger value) - (C2, smaller value))^(1/{D=2}))] @ DP, where D = dimension, such as D = 2 for parts of surface area of a planet, which the above equation would have effect on, which changes to D = 3 for parts of entire planet on a 3 dimensional scale for a planet rather than its surface area, where D = 2, and where base = Z = # of stats = 10 represents Binary Logic of TL, while base = 2.72 represents Fuzzy Logic of mutant power(s), in computing STR of NEW (compressed) soul in terms of # of souls, and where X = 1 = LOG10(Y), where Y = 10% uncertainty. This equation should only be used @ C2 DP; if it’s used @ C1 DP, this equation changes to cloning equation; and, if it’s used @ C3 DP, it becomes a death-reincarnation equation. This equation is meant be used only @ C2 DP to measure # of lesser souls occupying a greater soul, manifesting as a body, sort of like in the movie series, “Nightmare on Elm Street”. A male Israeli @ 20.5878 C2 = 14 C1 DP & a Palestinian @ 14.6094 C2 = 12 C1 DP, the male Israeli’s soul would be @ 10^[-1 + 2.445] =10^1.445 = 27.8x that of his foe’s soul, sort of like [similar to relativity, such where gravity being +/-[5^2]x more for every 5 C1 increment or/and decrement WHEN C1 = OR GREATER THAN 60, while +/-[5]x for every 5 C1 increment or/and decrement WHEN C1 LESS THAN 60], using binary logic. On C1 scale, it’s 10^[-1 + (((C1, larger value) - (C1, smaller value))^(1/2))] @ DP = 10^[-1 + 1.414] = 2.6x that of his foe’s soul for the average male Israeli. You can use this equation to figure out # of men or persons needed to construct an A-bomb, assuming they are @ uniform skill(s). You can, also, use it for the fictional character GLOVE in the ‘80s cartoon series “Bionic Six”, where you’d put GLOVE @ 16 to 25 C1 DP, while, Glove’s boss & leader, Scarab is @ 25 to 36 C1 DP, where Scarab would be @ 18 CA DP = 37.65 C1 DP = 304 C2 DP; each member of the Bionic Six would be @ between 36 C2 DP < 6 AMBS > & 49 C2 DP < 7 AMBS >; while, the Professor would be @ = 25 C1 DP = 90 C2 DP = 6,592 C3 DP. But, there seems to be some discrepancies by or according to RULE # 28. Look @ RULE # 69, # 97, # 174, # 203, & # 350.
[Mar 6,2008 4:21pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
Clearly this is vital to understanding the rest of it.
[Mar 6,2008 4:27pm - diarrhea_blumpkin ""]
my vagina smells like a penis
[Mar 6,2008 4:50pm - the_reverend ""]
rule #34 was different last time I looked at it.
[Mar 6,2008 5:15pm - DomesticTerror ""]
who's in guitar world, and where's the thread that cheesed junior off?
[Mar 6,2008 5:18pm - SkinSandwich ""]
In 1938, Hitler was chosen as Time Magazines "Man of the year"
[Mar 6,2008 5:20pm - brian_dc ""]
who cares...it's a fucking huge c+p party in here!
[Mar 6,2008 5:39pm - MarkFuckingRichards ""]
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:it doesn't get to me that bad if you guys didn't get so pissy when its you on the receiving end of the trashing.The only hole I'm gonna dig is the grave for you and your faggy bandmates. Go shove dildoes in your ass again fag.
That was Rich Horror's ass, not mine. But if you don't put dildos in your ass you're a faggot, faggot. I hope you're digging my grave free of charge, because I don't believe in paying for funerals.
[Mar 6,2008 6:18pm - diarrhea_blumpkin ""]
if i shove a tampon in my ass and then go swimming it feels like my uncle
[Mar 6,2008 7:14pm - kadooganism ""]
hahaha yes no one pays attention
[Mar 6,2008 7:15pm - diarrhea_blumpkin ""]
im in photoshop class,,,,
my bung needs tonguing
[Mar 6,2008 7:38pm - kadooganism ""]
I'm just gonna let this keep going 'til someone notices...
[Mar 6,2008 7:45pm - diarrhea_blumpkin ""]
i did...
[Mar 6,2008 7:47pm - kadooganism ""]
if an average black man is @ 30 C3 DP = 16.42 C2 DP, then the Confederate States be @ 900 C3 DP
[Mar 7,2008 4:21am - DaveFromTheGrave ""]
[QUOTE="DestroyYouAlot:730920"]Rule # 551: I NEVER (except once, but even that they managed to leave out the worst bits) hear of any news of any crimes committed by USA by the American news media, unless I research it through google or/and watch the history channel, which even that they imply it but NEVER directly state it, else fear of reprisal from the Pentagon, as happened to CNN, for a decade, after Gulf War I. Most current example would be Iraqis INDIRECTLY telling the USA you can have our oil, but stop bombing us, as well as the internal religious & cultural strife between the 3 different ethnic groups, same as in Yugoslavia, where it was about mineral rights by USA companies rather than about oil, allowing USA to legitimize and legalize through UN the illegal aggression against a NON-threatening nation by USA, which the USA feeds on, the old tactic of divide & conquer they learned from Britain, which divided Iraq & Kuwait, which resulted in the Gulf War I & II, which is manifested in the so-called free elections, which legitimize USA aggression of taking over a sovereign country for its oil, which few seem to notice that the Gulf War I & II was about oil & the Euro, and it NOTHING to do with WMD, since the top Iraqi scientists had IQ of someone with an Associate degree in physics, which is enough to understand the basics, but NOT enough to build all the complex parts, why Iraq needed help from the French. Most commonly used tactic of trolls is to call (a) NON-troll(s) (a) troll(s), sort of like Capitalists were calling Communists evil, when both were same: what was happening was that 2 super trolls fighting each other for supremacy. And, Negative Energy is so powerful that it takes an entire society to stop a troll, sort of like 1 bad fruit can ruin all the good fruits in a basket. And, there seems to be levels of trolls, from the most vicious to the average: society seems to be infected with them, mostly average, which seem to be controlled by the few, who are most evil & vicious. The amount of Negative Energy it takes to control society or/and escape laws of society is proportional to amount of energy needed to bypass laws of physics, in what is commonly understood as the light barrier, escaping it allows FTL, time & dimensional travel, by excessively manipulating Negative Energy, which in the/this 2nd example: I don’t mean psychology, but in manner of accumulating science TL in similar way excess greed would accumulate wealth, power, resources, & fame, which where US(A) Presidents have a nasty habit of having ulterior evil motives for their so-called good deeds, some form of imperialism.
Rule # 550: There are 5 parts to this rule. Based on my Rule # 3 & Rule # 6, this: {(0,0) END} is a human, usually a male human, at least in this rpg HYBRID, since women are too complicated to make in my rpg, since creating women in my rpg requires politically incorrect math, but to return to what I was saying before I digressed, is as follows: although I’m using the {(x,y) END} from Champions/Hero to illustrate a point that being {(0,0) END} ought to be for a human, usually a male human, at least in rpg HYBRID. The variable (y) which in Champions/Hero is/was meant to define LS in terms of “END” @ some fraction that of default LS, which its C# depends on the character, better to use C2, since it will give greater LS or Life Span, but less C2 PL or Power Level, if the original C# had been C1 in terms of C2 before using the ˝ which will then @ C2 increase PL to 98 C2 which is NOT mutant power but what C2 value for IQ, which is NOT what IQ is @ 98, but IQ is 260 @ 98 C2, which is then reduced to get mutant power(s). If the original C# had been C1 rater than C2, #s for both being different of course, then LS @ C1 would be 10 rather than 20, if starting default LS or 0 END had been @ 20 C1, then PL would increase to 20x2 = 40 C1 rather than 49x2 = 98 C2, but LS or Life Span using C1 is ˝ the C2, meaning manipulating points @ C1, gives a 10 C1 LS rather than a 49/2 = 24.5 C2, which is a 15 C1 by X^LOG10(X), where 20 C1 = 49 C2 and 15 C1 = 24 C2, approximately. The ˝ is or was supposed to be ˝ of C2 for LS or Life Span, but somewhere along the line, it seems to have gotten mistranslated into ˝ END, @ -1 limitation for default Life Span, giving a +1 advantage for Power Level for the mutant, which coincidently is similar to the way it works in my rpg HYBRID, where I’d multiply default PL by 2x, reducing LS by 2x, by multiplying LS by ˝, allowing one to multiply PL by 2x, but it is difficult to explain why it’s similar, either coincidence or/and more than a coincidence, but then again, I was thinking about END in 1987, as its important in the scheme of things, that of MU TSR rpg which, later, I made it to be @ C2, for its health stat, which is usually @ C2, a conclusion I came up with in the 1990s, which is different from the Karma stats, which usually are @ C1, although Intuition can be @ C2 if poorly defined or/and if poorly used, but Intuition that of the MU mutant humanoid female character Destiny has her Intuition @ either C2 or C1, NOT sure, since it depends on how you interpret that female character, if she’s scamming you or/and if she’s for real, although even if she’s scamming her victims @ C2, she can be or/and still is very effective, and if her Intuition is @ C1 PL, then you can interpret that character as you like, although if her psychic powers is that of the MU Purple Man, then her Intuition is @ C2, rather than C1 PL, which is more like that of Dr Doom, before I even discovered to come up with a stat called LS or Life Span, which, for this example, is ˝ C2 of original default Life Span, in order to increase PL or Power Level by factor of 2x. The reason it has to be a limitation is for PL or Power Level to have an advantage, the LS or Life Span must take on the -1 limitation, which is ˝ C2 for Life Span, which original was @ 0 END or @ default, whatever value it was @ for that mutant. In Champions/Hero rpg, END (0, ˝) USUALLY APPLIES TO MUTANTS AND means that person starts @ 0, which is NOT a value of 0, but meaning default, THEN if the character is a mutant, but he must be a mutant in order for him to have the or/and be @ ˝, which is what his mutant power level will by @ after his IQ is reduced after his IQ is increased by +1 advantage, meaning his C2 will double or increase by factor of 2x, which is then reduced to ˝ advantage or ˝ limitation from his 2nd 0 END, which is his NEW PL after having his PL increased due to his LS or Life Span decreased, such for a character such as the MU Spiderman, allowing him to increase his PL or Power Level @ C2 by factor of 2x with advantage of +1, which @ C2 for IQ is increased to which must be decreased to have mutant power(s), the more he decreases his IQ, the more power(s) he gets, and NOTE that he already starts with a larger LS or Life Span than an average adult male human, allowing him to decrease his LS to human levels, which in turn will increase his PL, and since his PL is, also, greater than average adult male human, his PL will increase even more, with his LS decreased: this all can be reversed to apply for PL (rather than LS) @ C2 of ˝ its original value @ -1 limitation, which will increase LS by a factor of 2x which is +1 advantage, to increase LS @ C2 by factor of 2 by advantage of +1, which is NOT usually done, since mutants usually crave power(s) rather than longevity or/and longer life span: this is NOT the rule itself, but a little background information on what I’m about to say after my next comment, which will also serve as a little extra background information on what I’ll say later, in a brief moment, after this brief commentary to serve as a little background information on what I’ll say later so that it’s NOT taken out of context. NOTE that default has multiple values, depending on if it’s fixed or NOT, both can take on the concept/term of 0 END, which is term from Hero & its predecessor, Champions rpg: this is a side note & NOT the rule itself: a little background information. The Psyche stat for the MU character Dark Phoenix is within a range of 30 to 40 C1 Default Psyche, with Phoenix being @ 20 to 30 C1 DP, with Jean Grey’s powers @ 20 C1 DP, although she isn’t @ that, since her COM is that of a woman & NOT a guy, but getting back to what I was saying that being Dark Phoenix’s creator, Professor X is @ 49 or 50 C1 Default Psyche. The ’86 MU TSR rpg creates an interesting paradox with the MU character Dark Phoenix which is NOT what this rule is about but serves as background to what I’ll say later. The purpose of why the ’86 MU TSR rpg killed the Dark Phoenix off, temporarily, because she maximized her stats, lowering her Life Span to increase her Power Level, besides Xaiver NO longer wanting her give Jean Grey extra powers, where she was acting as herald for Xavier, similar to way Norinn Radd acted as herald for Galacuts, but getting back to what I was saying about the Dark Phoenix getting killed off temporarily because she maximized her stats, based on combination of 3 (three) things: [{X^LOG10(X) @ C1} for X @ C2], in conjunction with Rule # 3 & Rule # 6}, meaning her unusually high stats can be explained away with the/my original equation X^LOG10(X), using Rule # 3 & Rule # 6: this will serve as background to what I’m about to say. The purpose of my grandiose statement in Part II of this rule is NOT to reveal how pretentious I seem to be, but to reveal how all rpgs can be reduced to 2 recursive equations, like the 2 blades on a helicopter: major equation being X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X for point distribution & the minor equation being X^LN(X) for some of its properties @ C# for X, although you can define the properties, using the original X^LOG10(X), without having to rely on its minor sibling equation X^LN(X), and/but relying too heavily on X^LN(X) is NOT good idea, to rely too heavily on it, that is, since you might end up with similar problem if the equation had been instead X^2, since the X is based on the equation X^LOG10(X), which is the main equation for point distribution @ C#. This equation could just as well be written as X^2, as the recursive equation, instead, for point distribution, but X^2 would NOT give the correct point distribution used by the other rpgs, except @ LOG10(100), FOR EXPONENT, = 2, although it does give some interesting results to ponder, and/but if I were to use X^2, then I’d have to rewrite most of my rules: which I don’t want to, NOR feel like it, and besides it would move me away from my main objective which is to have a 1 page rpg, which can be done with Rule # 3 & Rule # 6, & the 2 simple recursive equations just mentioned above, X^LOG10(X) & X^LN(X) @ C# for X, for point distribution. The odd thing about Part 2 of this rule is that even my favorite colors which changed over time seem to reflect comic books characters, is an example of Maxwell’s equation of time travel. There are 4 parts to this rule. The DC character Spectre is an extreme version of the 2nd part of this rule, that being Maxwell’s equation of time travel, which in terms of MU is Captain Universe, when Spiderman was taken over by Captain Universe when he was taken to the micro-verse [subatomic universe of MU] by the subatomic MU character Fear, which is what’s to come in Part 2, but I didn’t supply an/any example, which is what I just said. For Part 1, then, the first modification to make to the Fibonacci # is TO add LOG10(% of accuracy of TL). But, even before that, one must NOTE THAT THE C# has properties similar to gravity, in that both are recursive, and using the Fibonacci series on C# doesn’t always give you the correct TL # @ that C# when computing TL based on C#, since taking root Y, based on some Fibonacci #, which has to be modified, but when C# is small, that modification isn’t too great NOR too complicated. And, just like laws of physics break down when gravity is too intense inside singularity, but @ same time within some universal set of physics, similarly, if one could figure out the correct modification to the Fibonacci # that one could apply to C# to figure out Y root of C#, he could figure TL, even with a large C#, which will eventually give an even larger C#, when # in C# is very large, but both my lat former & latter comment are different, regarding #, which are of 2 types, being (# C#), which might be said or/and written as (# @ C#), in which there are 2 types of #s. And, a value of 10 C in the ’86 MU TSR rpg is 10 C0, both being @ a unitless unit, where 10 is a neutral value, until, a proper unit is assigned, same with Champions / Hero, which have inconsistent units of magnitudes, similar mistake that the ’86 MU TSR rpg make, perhaps it used Maxwell’s time travel equation to steal my ideas from the future, since it, the ’86 MU TSR rpg lacks the proper unit of magnitude, the only way that can happen is if it’s stolen my ideas, unless it is intentionally keeping out the proper units of magnitude from the public, for some unknown reason, maybe for same Reason that Nostradamas was vague, but @ same time was a fraud when it came to chemistry, but was @ same time genius when it came to predicting future events, unless it was based on some other book, that being the bible code, which IF true is based on Maxwell’s equation of time travel, same way these other rpgs are stealing my ideas before I have chance to invent it & claim it as their own even though it’s probably NOT their own, but probably mine, since fragments of many (close to all) of my ideas which I independently discover without any outside resource shows up in different rpgs, as well as in recent scientific discoveries, predicted 1st by my rpg HYBRID & its equations & algorithms, including the many recent discoveries also predicted by my rpg HYBRID & its equations & algorithms, predictions such as that of there being microscopic black-holes, is based on my recursive equation X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, IF I DO NOT SOUND PRETENTIOUS, then, also, the super computers is, also, based on my recursive equation of X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, as well as teleportation that the pentagon is researching into is based on my recursive equation X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, & creating a viable human from an egg without a sperm, is based on my recursive equation X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, my idea(s), where the sperm(s) has/have a parasitic propert(y/ies), because the male human has LESS points than the human female, is how the 2 genders operate: why, animals within the same specie look alike, and difference in appearance is between differing species is just topology, but similarities between the 2 genders within the same specie look alike for reason that since difference in points for the 2 genders are close to being similar for animals, although ratio is never @ 1:1, else THEN reproduction would be difficult @ 1:1 ratio, but NOT impossible, but possible, depending on, again, my major recursive equation X^LOG10(X) @ C# for X, and its minor sibling equation X^LN(X) @ C# for X, but the female will always get more points than the male, UNLESS the male is a mutant, but he must NOT looked deformed, but he looks deformed, he (mutant) to be superior must have hidden points, to be equal to a female; while, we humans are/look different in terms of appearance, since the human female has LOT MORE points than the human male, and being humanoid in shape, also, gives us more points, by simply having that humanoid shape, where the shape or/and topology of having a humanoid shape acts to reinforce the laws of conservation of mass & energy, according to math, since physics is based on math, why math is more gibberish than physics, which according to 1 theory, the universe before it created itself, scanned alternate timelines & picked 1, and created itself, BASED ON my 2 universal recursive equations: X^LOG10(X) & X^LN(X) @ C# for X, which it seems/looks to me that in my opinion the universe, reality, & all its dimensions that we live in & don’t perceive, its rules & laws, including laws of quantum mechanics & relativity that of Einstein, IS BASED ON my 2 universal recursive equations: X^LOG10(X) & X^LN(X) @ C# for X, why all rpgs have point distribution @ C#, based on X^LOG10(X), while 2nd minor equation X^LN(X) is just an extra equation to make sure that the other 1st major equation that of X^LOG10(X) is properly & efficiently used, where even history itself is based on my 2 universal recursive equations: X^LOG10(X) & X^LN(X) @ C# for X. So, in effect reality is based on my ideas or/and my rpg, HYBRID, which is what all rpgs are based on & all science, math & engineering is based on my 2 simple recursive equations: X^LOG10(X) & X^LN(X), including useful to fractals, including physical objects that look like or/and seem to be puzzles such as a Rubik cube or/and its manifestations, and everything else, including genders, including any & all science-fiction is based on these 2 equations of mine, which is what my rpg HYBRID is based. And, perhaps the first rpg that I read, the ’86 MU TSR rpg, was (it seems or perhaps it is: all my evidence points to this) based on my future rpg, HYBRID, that I would try to create in the 1990s, but is still incomplete, but as far as C# goes, it’s % of completion is [(year – 1990)^2] = % of completion for C#, but as far as myself having all the rules for manipulating C# is incomplete, but based on the equation 2 equations, major being @ X^LOG10(X), and its minor sibling being @ X^LN(X), since I’m NOT genius, and it would take a genius to complete all the rules. So, just as gravity can take on different values, so can C#, each being different, in terms of how dense or not it is for its point distribution. I will momentary digress with this brief statement that the unit of magnitude CA in my rpg HYBRID stands for CMagic, and as for the letter “C”, by itself would be written as C0, a neutral unit of magnitude being a unitless unit, meaning undefined as of yet, same as C#, is the quantum state but defined in some specific C# for point distribution, where C1 is less dense than CA, which is usually maximum value for the MU Beyonder. And, since there isn’t any entity or/and force more powerful than the Beyonder in any science-fiction, then the maximum unit of magnitude is CA. Now, to return to the rule itself: the unit of magnitude of C1 & CA which is used in my rpg, HYBRID, is coincidently proportional or/& similar to Mega-scale of Champions/Hero rpg, depending on how you wish to define Mega-scale, which can sometimes be defined as advantage or limitation or modifier or as a # of points, similar to its Real & Active points. And, for a human, C2 or/and C1 might be considered for the same purpose of magnifying results, by simply increasing unity by 1, by “increasing”: I mean decreasing # in C#, causing an increase in C#, by 1 unit of magnitude, which sounds like a paradox, but so is reality, which is a paradox, which is my original mutant equation of transforming an adult male human into a mutant, such as by changing his C2 to C1 as his 0 END, which only the GM can do, unless given the option, if he is already a mutant, such as Dr. Banner/ HULK or Peter Parker in Part II of Spiderman movie, where he lose his powers to increase his IQ, which he then later reduce to get back his powers. NOTE that 0 END is simply default stat(s), which can vary depending on IF it has been altered in some way, based on Rule # 3 & 6, which determine how much his Life Span can be reduced, so as to increase his PL or Power Level, where # END can take on 2 types of values, either what END (in terms of LS) is reduced to or is stated in terms of advantages or/& limitations, but the END when defined/stated as characteristic in Champions/ Hero is @ 0 END, sort of like when LS @ C# is reduced to ˝, same as ˝ END, so it has multiple meanings, although LS in terms of C#, is exponential, in terms of how C# is set up for Life Span & Po
post was too long read more at your own risk
[Mar 7,2008 6:33am - Troll ""]
CAPS LOCK
[Mar 7,2008 7:13am - fleshfries ""]
I felt I should post in this thread....ok all set.
[Mar 7,2008 9:47am - Karma-Enema ""]
PeteovDom said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:NO One on here is man enough to say anything? You all talk shit and then spit bullshit when you get called out on it.
this is probably KarmaEnema.
i dont fuckin think so....i will use my name if its me
i feel i've lost intelligence after reading some of this
[Mar 7,2008 10:15am - This_Is_Heresy ""]
Karma-Enema said:
PeteovDom said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:NO One on here is man enough to say anything? You all talk shit and then spit bullshit when you get called out on it.
this is probably KarmaEnema.
i dont fuckin think so....i will use my name if its me
i feel i've lost intelligence after reading some of this
Must be in the red now...
[Mar 7,2008 11:06am - DestroyYouAlot ""]
His Charisma isn't looking so hot, either.
DUMP STATS, LOL
[Mar 7,2008 11:49am - This_Is_Heresy ""]
Bet thats the last time he rolls a troll!
ZING!
[Mar 7,2008 12:18pm - infect sli sli sli ""]
none of my bands will ever be in guitar world *sigh*
[Mar 7,2008 5:04pm - yummy ""]
kadoogan, this would have been better if you kept it going longer just so everyone could cry.
[Mar 7,2008 6:27pm - make love to me ""]
HOBBY ROCKERS!!
[Mar 7,2008 9:29pm - NIGGER ""]
JEWS RUN AMERICA
RON PAUL QUIT
WHITEY'S DEAD
BLACK POWER!
[Mar 8,2008 10:48am - kadooganism ""]
yummy said:kadoogan, this would have been better if you kept it going longer just so everyone could cry.
I kinda wish I did. Oh well. Just be on yer toes, people...
[Mar 8,2008 12:41pm - immortal13 ""]
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:At least Bob Rooney has the balls to use his real name. Too bad none of you are untouchable, none of you. The internet only hides you for so long.
To do the same thing as dude from LAZ:
Hey I'm Greg. I play bass for The Summoned and I live in Merrimack, NH. I'd put my street address up but then the Reverend might come try to molest me or something. If you feel you have to let us know the internet can only hide me for so long and feel like making threats, send me a PM and I'll give you my address, and I'll just sit there waiting.
Or you can just stop being a pussy and take your lectures elsewhere to a convention of people that like lectures.
[Mar 8,2008 2:03pm - NIGGER ""]
YOU ARE ALL VERY WHITE
I MEAN WEAK
WHATEVER
BLACK POWER!
[Mar 8,2008 9:40pm - diarrhea_Blumpkin nli ""]
immortal13 said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:At least Bob Rooney has the balls to use his real name. Too bad none of you are untouchable, none of you. The internet only hides you for so long.
To do the same thing as dude from LAZ:
Hey I'm Greg. I play bass for The Summoned and I live in Merrimack, NH. I'd put my street address up but then the Reverend might come try to molest me or something. If you feel you have to let us know the internet can only hide me for so long and feel like making threats, send me a PM and I'll give you my address, and I'll just sit there waiting.
Or you can just stop being a pussy and take your lectures elsewhere to a convention of people that like lectures.
lulz...read kadoogans posts from this thread
[Mar 9,2008 11:54am - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
immortal13 said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:At least Bob Rooney has the balls to use his real name. Too bad none of you are untouchable, none of you. The internet only hides you for so long.
To do the same thing as dude from LAZ:
Hey I'm Greg. I play bass for The Summoned and I live in Merrimack, NH. I'd put my street address up but then the Reverend might come try to molest me or something. If you feel you have to let us know the internet can only hide me for so long and feel like making threats, send me a PM and I'll give you my address, and I'll just sit there waiting.
Or you can just stop being a pussy and take your lectures elsewhere to a convention of people that like lectures.
I WILL FUCK YOU UP WITH AN 8 BALL IN A SOCK 4 RLZ
[Mar 9,2008 11:59am - thuringwethil ""]
bennyhillifier
[Mar 9,2008 12:05pm - deadlikemurf ""]
rick roll'd
[Mar 9,2008 1:26pm - Karma-Enema ""]
This_Is_Heresy said:
Karma-Enema said:
PeteovDom said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:NO One on here is man enough to say anything? You all talk shit and then spit bullshit when you get called out on it.
this is probably KarmaEnema.
i dont fuckin think so....i will use my name if its me
i feel i've lost intelligence after reading some of this
Must be in the red now...
hmmmm???
in the red? maybe a little annoyed that someone so obtuse could be confused with me . but then again i have a history of saying "4 RLZ" and making internet threats .
[Mar 9,2008 2:13pm - brian_dc ""]
This was all real and not a joke
Continue fucking yourselves with sticks and crying
[Mar 9,2008 4:40pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
REAL AS I WANNA BE
[img]
[Mar 9,2008 6:19pm - deadlikemurf ""]
The first inhabitants of the Czech lands were prehistoric fish. That's because the country, at the time, was covered by a prehistoric ocean - thanks to which it is possible to find some very nice fossils of trilobytes in the Czech Republic today.
Today's Czech Republic was later populated by dinosaurs of all sorts, and later by neanderthals and even by mammoths. The prehistoric settlement of the present-day Czech Republic by people culminated in the fourth century B.C. with the arrival of the Celts, the first modern human inhabitants of this territory that we know of. In fact, the Latin name for the Czech lands, "Boiohaemum" (Bohemia), is derived from the name of the Boii Celtic tribe; and the Czech name for the Moldau River (which flows through the capital city of Prague) is Vltava - which is said to come from the Celtic "Vlt" meaning wild, and "Va" meaning water.
The Czech Celts were in part chased out of the region and in part assimilated by the next peoples to inhabit the area: the Germanic Marcomanni and Quadi tribes from the west and the Romans from the south. (The Romans didn't actually occupy Czech territory - they only got as far north as the Danube River, which flows from Germany - through Austria along its border with Slovakia - and then over to Hungary before continuing on to Yugoslavia, and so just misses the Czech lands.) During the Migration of Peoples - roughly from the 3d to the 7th centuries AD - Slav colonization spread westward from the Steppes of the East (probably from Panonia) all the way to the territory of the present-day Czech Republic and up to Poland and down again to Yugoslavia. From probably the sixth century AD on, the Slavic peoples settled, in several waves of migration, into the regions which had been conveniently abandoned by the Germanic tribes.
This is the way that it all came to be - according to popular Czech legend: Once upon a time there were three brothers: Czech, Lech and Rus. One day, they decided to find a new place to live, and so they and their tribes set out on a journey. They got as far as the Dnieper River when Rus said, "This is the place for me and my tribe!" and there the Russians stayed. Czech (who is known as "Praotec Cech," or Ancestor Czech in these parts) and Lech continued. Soon, they came upon a rich land overflowing with milk and honey and Czech climbed to the top of Rip hill in Bohemia and decided that this was the place for him and for his tribe. Lech and his people continued their journey and settled in present-day Poland. Other versions of the legend have 7 brothers in all, with the addition of other Slav nations like the Croats (who have a similar legend about 7 wandering brothers) and some others whose names are not remembered anymore. One modern interpretation of the story has the Czechs spending some time in Greece before finally heading north and settling, and this would actually conveniently explain the similarities between certain Czech legends (like that of Bruncvik's odyssey or of Sarka and her band of women warriors) with Greek ones.
Czech legend goes on to say that Cech's people were happy in the Czech lands, and after a few generations and some time had passed, the Slavs of Bohemia had a new leader - a guy by the name of Krok, who lived at Vysehrad (which means "high castle" and is today the site of the Czech National Cemetery). Probably the most important thing about Krok were his three very beautiful daughters, who were named Kazi, Teta and Libuse. The last of these, Libuse, had special powers which allowed her to see the future (Kazi, the oldest, was a healer who knew the secrets of the plants and herbs, while Teta was high priestess).
Libuse's talent came in particularly handy when it came time for her to marry. According to legend, she inherited rule over the Czech tribes from her father, Krok. As ruler of the lands, she was also the highest 'court of appeal' for disputes among the people. It is said that a guy who did not like one of her decisions as judge started a stink about the fact that the Czechs were ruled by a woman. And so Libuse had a vision - and sent her white horse, accompanied by a group of her subjects - to go out and find a guy ploughing in his field. After a journey of some days, the horse and the humans did indeed come upon just such a man (and nobody seemed surprised at all at this - neither the humans nor the horse nor even the man himself) and Przemysl Ploughman (Premysl Orac in Czech) came to Vysehrad and married Libuse and took over the job of ruling the unruly Czechs and he and Libuse together started the Przemyslid Dynasty, which ruled over the Czech lands till the 14th century.
One day, not long after the wedding, Libuse had a vision in which she foretold of the glory of the Czech capital. Standing atop Vysehrad hill, she went into a trance and told her vision to the people even as the gods sent it to her. She said that on the seven hills of Prague a fair city would grow, the fame of which would rise to the very stars. And all that she saw and all of which she foretold really came true. Of course!
Now, while Cech and Libuse are the stuff of imaginative Czech legend, it is believed that Samo - who may or may not have ruled this part of the world in the first half of the seventh century AD - was probably a real person. It's hard to tell, though, since nobody is sure of minor details like where Samo was from, where Samo lived, or where Samo ruled - if, that is, he existed at all. If he did, he is thought to have been a Frankish merchant who placed himself on the side of the Slavs against the wicked Avar tribes of Hungary. He is mentioned in early chronicles, where his address is given as Wogastisburg Fortress. Nobody today knows where this Wogastisburg Fortress was - but it's believed by Czechs to have stood on Rubin hill in Bohemia.
Wherever Samo's home base really was, his rule seems to represent the first successful attempt at uniting the Slavic tribes - and since the Slavs are not exactly known for their brotherly love for one another (then again, who in Europe is?), this was quite a feat. The reason for this unification under Samo was, predictably, quite pragmatic. The Slavic tribes cooperated in order to withstand attacks by the Avars, a powerful Asian tribe whose home was on the plains of Hungary.
At some point, Charlemagne joined in the battle against the Avars in this part of the world, cooperating either with Samo or with the state structure that came after him - the Great Moravian Empire.
Again, reports on the Great Moravian Empire are fuzzy. According to period chronicles, the people living along the Morava River at the time were already known as "Moravians," and their short-lived empire existed "somewhere" between today's Slovakia and Germany, and Poland and Austria (that is, somewhere in today's Czech Republic) in the 8th and/or 9th century. Just like Wogastisburg Fortress, it's claimed to have stood in different places by all the people who live in those different places.
At some time during the ninth century, Greater Moravia was ruled by the Moravian prince Svatopluk and had grown to include today's South Moravia, the southernmost bits of present-day Poland and Silesia, the western part of Hungary and, for a short time, the whole of Bohemia. Perhaps the most important thing about the Great Moravians is that theirs was the first legal sort of state structure in the area to accept Christianity, and the cultural development of the Greater Moravian Empire is inseparably linked to the spread of the eastern Byzantine liturgy of Sts Cyril and Methodius, who came to these parts in 863. They were invited by the Moravians - who were interested in Christianity but couldn't understand the language in which it was preached at the time. Cyril and Methodius were chosen for the mission because they understood and were able to speak in the Slavic tongue (again lending weight to the theory that the Slavs of these parts had not long before been spending some time in Greece).
Some buildings from around about this time still stand - mostly Romanesque basilicas like the one on Rip Hill (the very hill that Great-Granddad Czech liked so much!), at Vysehrad, in Prague's Old Town, and at other places. It was Cyril and Methodius, too, who brought the written word to the region (the Cyrillic alphabet is named for Cyril even though his real name was not Cyril but Constantine). The beginning of a written Slavic language was to be of enormous importance to Slavic nations in the Middle Ages. On the downside, the introduction of Christianity to this territory was so overwhelmingly successful that we know very little today about the pre-Christian religion of the pagan Slavs.
The Greater Moravian Empire disintegrated thanks to the Hungarian invasion of 903 or 904 and political intrigue in the early days of the Holy Roman Empire. After that, the Slavic mission in Moravia - which had been established by the missionaries Cyril and Methodius - collapsed, and the population reverted to tribal conditions. The Christian heritage of the Greater Moravian Empire, however, was to be preserved with the ascent of the Przemyslid dynasty to the throne of Bohemia.
The rise and fall of the Przemyslid Dynasty
With the Great Moravian Empire out of the way, the Przemyslid family succeeded in laying the foundations of a Czech state somewhere around the the end of the ninth century. They did this mostly by ridding themselves of all of the things that were standing in their way, like the Vrsovic and Slavnik clans - which the Przemyslids murdered in a particularly bloody manner. The only Vrsovec to escape the massacre of his family was Adalbert, but it didn't do him much good. Adalbert was so thankful for his salvation that he became a Christian missionary and headed northwest (to the area of today's northeast Germany) to spread the Word. No sooner did he arrive at his destination than he was brutally roasted and eaten by the inhabitants. Adalbert (or Vojtech, as he is known in Czech) is another of the Czech nation's patron saints today.
But Vojtech was not the only early Czech guy to be made a saint thanks to the Przemyslid's bloodthirstiness. On the contrary - the Przemyslid rulers were rather a mixed bag, and when they ran out of rival clans to murder, they started murdering each other - resulting in some more early saints for the Czechs.
Wenceslas I, the fourth Przemyslid Czech ruler, was made a saint soon after his murder in 929 or 935. This Wenceslas (in Czech, Vaclav) is the Good King Wenceslas of the Christmas carol, and it was during his reign that the Czech lands entered into an alliance with Saxony, thereby laying the foundations for closer relations with the restored Roman Empire.
This mischievous affability on Wenceslas' part towards the Czechs' western neighbors is a main reason that he was killed by his brother, who wasn't very good (in fact he is known as "Boleslav the Cruel.") Another reason might be that Boleslav was a pagan, and he felt that Wenceslas was frittering away too much time with this new Christian fashion he'd picked up -- though lust for power probably also played a role in Boleslav's motive for the murder, which took place at the very door of the church in Stara Boleslav, where Wenceslas was trying to seek refuge.
Incidentally, Boleslav and Wenceslas' Grandmother (on their father's side) was also murdered, and also made a saint. It is said that she was either smothered to death with a pillow or choked to death - this time, the killer was her daughter-in-law (Boleslav and Wenceslas' mother), and the motive was, again, power (Drahomira wanted to place Wenceslas on the throne.)
Things didn't get much better within the Przemyslid family, it is suspected that . Interestingly enough, the Przemyslids are remembered rather fondly in the Czech Republic today, as it seems that most people are blissfully unaware of the family's murderous streak.
Maybe that is because the Przemyslids occasionally took time off from their favorite sport to increase Bohemia's power and prestige. In typical early feudal fashion, this meant that they went out killing people in other countries instead, expanding their empire to Moravia and Silesia, as well as the upper reaches of the river Vistula and parts of western Slovakia. In Moravia, they set up a system of dukedoms, with the office of "Margrave" (ruler of Moravia) sometimes being held by the Bohemian Dauphin, sometimes by a rival for the Bohemian throne. In this way the Przemyslide dynastic killings were stayed, and both Bohemia and Moravia came to be regarded as hereditary lands of the Przemyslid dynasty. All the while, the expansion of the Przemyslid Dynasty's power went hand in hand with the spread of Christianity in the region.
This growing Przemyslide state maintained its sovereignty, though it formally recognized the feudal supremacy of the Roman-German Empire. The Czech lands ranked among the most advanced of the European feudal states, being at the forefront of economic power and cultural achievement at the time. In keeping with this growing importance, the territory was officially recognized through the granting of a royal crown to the Przemyslid Dynasty in the eleventh century (it was made hereditary in 1212 by the Golden Sicilian Bull) and the granting of the title of 'emperor' for Czech rulers.
The 1100s and 1200s were a very busy time in this part of Europe, and colonization, trade and cultural activity were steadily on the increase. Prague, which lay smack dab in the middle of several continental trade routes, flourished. Prague's Old Town was founded in 1234 as the first of Prague's five towns, and the Lesser Quarter was founded in 1257. Border forests were settled and towns and fortresses were founded and fortified. These sweeping changes literally transformed the country, and in keeping with these physical changes, the social structure of the territory also evolved. From about this time, aristocrats, burghers, and serfs were to be spotted in the Czech lands - as were German settlers, who were invited to colonize previously uninhabited (mostly border) regions of Bohemia and Moravia. The German settlers, whether burghers or peasants, did not form a homogeneous or politically separate group, and they soon became part of the local community, identifying with Czech statehood and sharing in the development of the Czech and Moravian lands as fully enfranchised members of the population, but mostly but keeping their native language (in addition to learning Czech.) Many, many, many, many centuries later, the places that they settled would come to be known as the "Sudetenland."
From the thirteenth century, the Czech kingdom was one of the most robust states in all of Europe, with a growing population and a vigorous economy. This, in turn, made the Czech nobility and rulers all the more rich and powerful, and enabled king Przemysl Otakar II to expand his territory rather extensively (if briefly). Otakar II was quite well-known in his time, and he even makes an appearance in Dante's Divine Comedy. Otokar II, also known as the "King of Gold and Iron" (because of his considerable wealth and his considerable military might) defeated the armies of the Hungarian king in 1256 and again in 1260. This military victory allowed him to annex the Alpine countries (today's Austria and beyond) - extending his territories all the way to the Adriatic Sea. Some people claim that this brief period - in which Bohemia controlled territory bordering on the sea - is the basis for Shakespeare's infamous 'Bohemian seacoast' from his play, "The Tempest."
Well, while the Czech lands were gaining power, prestige, oceanfront property and other things, a powerful rival appeared in Germany in the person of the newly-elected ruler of the Holy Roman Empire, Rudolf Habsburg - a member of a previously unimportant family from the Rhineland. This Rudolf formed an alliance of German princes and - after the Czech King Przemysl Otakar II was killed in battle in Moravia against the combined Roman and Hungarian forces on August 26, 1278 - Rudolf took possession of the abovementioned Alpine lands, which later became the basis of the Habsburgs' power - ie Austria.
The late Czech King Przemysl Otakar II was succeeded by his son, Wenceslas II (1278-1305). Under his reign, the mining of Czech silver at Kutna Hora and the minting of the Czech silver groschen - one of the hardest European currencies of the time - flourished. Wenceslas II also created a confederation between Bohemia and Poland. For a short time, Hungary - under the rule of Matthias Czak Trenciansky, who held absolute rule over most of Slovakia as well - also joined this confederation.
The Polish-Czech union was strengthened under the brief rule of Wenceslas III. Had it survived, it might have contributed to the creation of a more advanced region in Europe as the earlier Czech- Austrian union had. However, this was precluded by the death of young Wenceslas III (in 1306, when he was just 17 years old). Wenceslas III was the last male member of the Przemyslids line, and after his death the Czech-Polish union fell apart.
The Luxembourg Dynasty and
King Charles IV
With the demise of Wenceslas III, the last of the Przemyslid rulers of the Czech lands, the difficult question of who should rule next had to be answered. And answered it was - by 14-year-old John of Luxembourg, the first of the Luxembourgs to occupy the Czech throne (1310-1437). John of Luxembourg gained this position with the support of the Czech nobility by marrying 18-year-old Eliska Przemyslova, the sister of the late Wenceslas III.
Under John of Luxembourg's rule, more territories - including the regions of Cheb, Lusatia and Silesia - were joined to Bohemia. All of these regions together, under the rule of John of Luxembourg, came to be known as the "Lands of the Czech Crown." So you see, there never was an easy "one-word" way (like 'Czechia') to describe this part of the world, not even in way back in the 14th century.
John of Luxembourg was a good king, but he had a fatal weakness for chivalry, knighthood, honour - and especially, for battles. He loved to fight. When there weren't any battles in his immediate neighborhood, he went abroad to help his friends fight their battles. And so it happened that he fell at the battle of Crecy in 1346, fighting on the side of his French friend and distant relative Charles, against the Black Prince. And so he was succeeded by his young son, Charles IV.
Charles IV was just as noble - but much more practical than his caravanting father had been, and he took a keen interest in all aspects of rule over the Czech lands. Charles IV was not really named Charles. He was named Wenceslas IV - but he had been reared at the French court, and everyone there called him Charles, and so the name stuck. (His son, who succeeded him on the Czech throne, was also named Wenceslas IV, and this sometimes leads to some confusion.) When Charles IV came to power, he was still very young. Since he'd been raised in France, he didn't speak Czech. Wicked advisors surrounded the young king, and attempted to usurp the real rule of Bohemia while leaving young Charles IV in place as a figurehead.
Charles IV may have been young, but he was no dummy. He spoke 5 languages fluently (at a time when many crowned heads could not even read and write), and he was a masterful diplomat. He also had friends in high places - Pope Klement, who was elected during Charles IV's reign, had been the Czech sovereign's tutor at the court in Paris.
Young Charles IV saw through the transparent plans of the wicked advisors who surrounded him. He quickly learned Czech, and took over rule of his own land himself.
Charles IV was very clever, very devout, and very savvy. He was also a lover
post was too long read more at your own risk
[Mar 9,2008 8:26pm - Hoser ""]
Anus
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
This article needs additional citations for verification.
Please help improve this article by adding reliable references. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. (December 2007)
This article is about the bodily orifice. For other uses, see Anus (disambiguation).
Male Human Anatomy
Female Human AnatomyIn anatomy, the anus (from Latin ānus "ring (circle)[1][2], anus") is the external opening of the rectum. Closure is controlled by sphincter muscles. Feces are expelled from the body through the anus during the act of defecation, which is the primary function of the anus. Most animals — from simple worms to elephants and humans — have a tubular gut, with a mouth at one end and an anus at the other.
The anus plays a role in sexuality, though attitudes towards anal sex vary and it is even illegal in some countries. The anus is also the site of potential infections and other conditions including cancer. The subject is often considered a taboo part of the body, and is known by a large number of usually vulgar slang terms. The traditional polite synonym for anus was fundament, though this euphemism is rarely heard now that medical terms are widely acceptable.
Contents [hide]
1 Role in defecation
2 Role in sexuality
3 Puberty
4 Health
5 Cosmetics
6 Pathology
7 Additional images
8 See also
9 References
[edit] Role in defecation
Main article: Defecation
Intra-rectal pressure builds as the rectum fills with feces, pushing the feces against the walls of the anal canal. Contractions of abdominal and pelvic floor muscles can create intra-abdominal pressure which further increases intra-rectal pressure. The internal anal sphincter (an involuntary muscle) responds to the pressure by relaxing, thus allowing the feces to enter the canal. The rectum shortens as feces are pushed into the anal canal and peristaltic waves push the feces out of the rectum. Relaxation of the internal and external anal sphincters allows the feces to exit from the anus, finally, as the levator ani muscles pull the anus up over the exiting feces.
To prevent diseases of the anus[citation needed] and to promote general hygiene, humans often clean the exterior of the anus after emptying the bowels. A rinse with water from a bidet or a wipe with toilet paper are often used for this purpose.
[edit] Role in sexuality
Main article: Anal sex
The anus has a relatively high concentration of nerve endings and is an erogenous zone. Sigmund Freud's theory of psychosexual development, for example, described an anal stage, hypothesizing that toddlers derive pleasure from retaining and expelling feces. This is the source of the term "anal" and the derived, derogatory vulgarism "anal-retentive."
Anal intercourse can be pleasurable for both the insertive partner and the receptive partner. For the receptive partner, pleasure from anal intercourse is also thought to be related to the shared wall between the rectum and the vagina (for females) as well as the G-spot or prostate (for males). For the insertive partner, the tightness of the anus is often said to be a source of pleasure in penetrative anal sex. Anal intercourse, sometimes referred to as sodomy or buggery, is a human sexual activity, but is considered taboo in a number of moral systems, and it has been, and in some jurisdictions continues to be, a crime carrying severe punishment.
Anal sexual activity need not include penetration. The anus also plays an important role in facesitting, coprophilia and anilingus.
Anal stretching can stimulate the nerves around the anus and can be considered pleasurable. Care must be taken to maintain elasticity.
Lubricant is widely regarded as a necessity while performing anal sex.
[edit] Puberty
During puberty, as testosterone triggers androgenic hair growth on the body, pubic hair begins to appear around the anus. Although initially sparse, it fills out by the end of puberty, if not earlier.
[edit] Health
Human male anus.
Human female anus without pubic hair.Hygiene is important for good anal health and anal sex. Washing with a mild soap and water will keep the anus clean. Harsh soaps or wiping vigorously with toilet paper can irritate the skin around the anus, making it itchy or sore. Pinworms are sometimes the source of anal itching.
Care should be taken not to strip the anus of natural oils that keep the skin around the opening supple and elastic.
Penetration with a penis or sex toy can irritate or tear the inside of the anus. Lubrication is often recommended to ease penetration. The risk of injury to the anal sphincter should be a concern. Similarly if the anus is torn, this can occasionally cause a fistula formation which can not only cause fecal leaking, but also can be very difficult to treat.
Kegel exercises can improve the tone of the outer sphincter muscle.
[edit] Cosmetics
Shaving, trimming, depilatory (hair removal), or Brazilian waxing can clear the perineum of hair.
Anal bleaching is a process where the perineum, which darkens over the years, is lightened for a more youthful appearance. This practice has been linked to anal incontinence, and other health problems.
Anal piercing is among the more extreme piercings and usually interferes with the function of the anus.
[edit] Pathology
Diseases of the anus include anal cancer, abscess, warts, fistula, anal fissure, itching and hemorrhoid. The anus is also a frequent site of sexually transmitted infections. These benefit from medical intervention.
Birth defects of the anus include stenosis and imperforation. These benefit from surgical intervention.
Damaged anal sphincter (patulous anus in more severe cases) — caused by careless or sometimes necessarily sacrificial surgery in the perineal region or by rough/abrupt penetration in anal sex — can lead to flatus and/or fecal incontinence, chronic constipation and, ultimately, megacolon.
In psychology the Freudian term anal fixation is used.
[edit] Additional images
Muscles of male perineum.
Muscles of the female perineum.
The posterior aspect of the rectum and anus exposed by removing the lower part of the sacrum and the coccyx.
[edit] See also
Look up anus in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.Wikimedia Commons has media related to:
AnusAnal stage (Freudian psychosexual stage)
Arse
Cloaca
Digestive system
Flatulence
Hemorrhoid
Anococcygeal nerve
Coccyx
Coccydynia (coccyx pain, tailbone pain)
[Mar 9,2008 9:14pm - deadlikemurf ""]
Hoser said:
Anus
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to: navigation, search
This article needs additional citations for verification.
Please help improve this article by adding reliable references. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. (December 2007)
This article is about the bodily orifice. For other uses, see Anus (disambiguation).
Male Human Anatomy
Female Human AnatomyIn anatomy, the anus (from Latin ānus "ring (circle)[1][2], anus") is the external opening of the rectum. Closure is controlled by sphincter muscles. Feces are expelled from the body through the anus during the act of defecation, which is the primary function of the anus. Most animals — from simple worms to elephants and humans — have a tubular gut, with a mouth at one end and an anus at the other.
The anus plays a role in sexuality, though attitudes towards anal sex vary and it is even illegal in some countries. The anus is also the site of potential infections and other conditions including cancer. The subject is often considered a taboo part of the body, and is known by a large number of usually vulgar slang terms. The traditional polite synonym for anus was fundament, though this euphemism is rarely heard now that medical terms are widely acceptable.
Contents [hide]
1 Role in defecation
2 Role in sexuality
3 Puberty
4 Health
5 Cosmetics
6 Pathology
7 Additional images
8 See also
9 References
[edit] Role in defecation
Main article: Defecation
Intra-rectal pressure builds as the rectum fills with feces, pushing the feces against the walls of the anal canal. Contractions of abdominal and pelvic floor muscles can create intra-abdominal pressure which further increases intra-rectal pressure. The internal anal sphincter (an involuntary muscle) responds to the pressure by relaxing, thus allowing the feces to enter the canal. The rectum shortens as feces are pushed into the anal canal and peristaltic waves push the feces out of the rectum. Relaxation of the internal and external anal sphincters allows the feces to exit from the anus, finally, as the levator ani muscles pull the anus up over the exiting feces.
To prevent diseases of the anus[citation needed] and to promote general hygiene, humans often clean the exterior of the anus after emptying the bowels. A rinse with water from a bidet or a wipe with toilet paper are often used for this purpose.
[edit] Role in sexuality
Main article: Anal sex
The anus has a relatively high concentration of nerve endings and is an erogenous zone. Sigmund Freud's theory of psychosexual development, for example, described an anal stage, hypothesizing that toddlers derive pleasure from retaining and expelling feces. This is the source of the term "anal" and the derived, derogatory vulgarism "anal-retentive."
Anal intercourse can be pleasurable for both the insertive partner and the receptive partner. For the receptive partner, pleasure from anal intercourse is also thought to be related to the shared wall between the rectum and the vagina (for females) as well as the G-spot or prostate (for males). For the insertive partner, the tightness of the anus is often said to be a source of pleasure in penetrative anal sex. Anal intercourse, sometimes referred to as sodomy or buggery, is a human sexual activity, but is considered taboo in a number of moral systems, and it has been, and in some jurisdictions continues to be, a crime carrying severe punishment.
Anal sexual activity need not include penetration. The anus also plays an important role in facesitting, coprophilia and anilingus.
Anal stretching can stimulate the nerves around the anus and can be considered pleasurable. Care must be taken to maintain elasticity.
Lubricant is widely regarded as a necessity while performing anal sex.
[edit] Puberty
During puberty, as testosterone triggers androgenic hair growth on the body, pubic hair begins to appear around the anus. Although initially sparse, it fills out by the end of puberty, if not earlier.
[edit] Health
Human male anus.
Human female anus without pubic hair.Hygiene is important for good anal health and anal sex. Washing with a mild soap and water will keep the anus clean. Harsh soaps or wiping vigorously with toilet paper can irritate the skin around the anus, making it itchy or sore. Pinworms are sometimes the source of anal itching.
Care should be taken not to strip the anus of natural oils that keep the skin around the opening supple and elastic.
Penetration with a penis or sex toy can irritate or tear the inside of the anus. Lubrication is often recommended to ease penetration. The risk of injury to the anal sphincter should be a concern. Similarly if the anus is torn, this can occasionally cause a fistula formation which can not only cause fecal leaking, but also can be very difficult to treat.
Kegel exercises can improve the tone of the outer sphincter muscle.
[edit] Cosmetics
Shaving, trimming, depilatory (hair removal), or Brazilian waxing can clear the perineum of hair.
Anal bleaching is a process where the perineum, which darkens over the years, is lightened for a more youthful appearance. This practice has been linked to anal incontinence, and other health problems.
Anal piercing is among the more extreme piercings and usually interferes with the function of the anus.
[edit] Pathology
Diseases of the anus include anal cancer, abscess, warts, fistula, anal fissure, itching and hemorrhoid. The anus is also a frequent site of sexually transmitted infections. These benefit from medical intervention.
Birth defects of the anus include stenosis and imperforation. These benefit from surgical intervention.
Damaged anal sphincter (patulous anus in more severe cases) — caused by careless or sometimes necessarily sacrificial surgery in the perineal region or by rough/abrupt penetration in anal sex — can lead to flatus and/or fecal incontinence, chronic constipation and, ultimately, megacolon.
In psychology the Freudian term anal fixation is used.
[edit] Additional images
Muscles of male perineum.
Muscles of the female perineum.
The posterior aspect of the rectum and anus exposed by removing the lower part of the sacrum and the coccyx.
[edit] See also
Look up anus in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.Wikimedia Commons has media related to:
AnusAnal stage (Freudian psychosexual stage)
Arse
Cloaca
Digestive system
Flatulence
Hemorrhoid
Anococcygeal nerve
Coccyx
Coccydynia (coccyx pain, tailbone pain)
[Mar 10,2008 5:59am - douchebag_patrol ""]
Karma-Enema said:
This_Is_Heresy said:
Karma-Enema said:
PeteovDom said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:NO One on here is man enough to say anything? You all talk shit and then spit bullshit when you get called out on it.
this is probably KarmaEnema.
i dont fuckin think so....i will use my name if its me
i feel i've lost intelligence after reading some of this
Must be in the red now...
hmmmm???
in the red? maybe a little annoyed that someone so obtuse could be confused with me . but then again i have a history of saying "4 RLZ" and making internet threats .
You're a big fat guy with no job who sits around whacking off to porn and playing world of warcraft and getting fatter on a steady diet of Chinese food while mommy and daddy pay the bills.
[Mar 10,2008 9:31am - DestroyYouAlot ""]
Don't forget the fursuit.
[Mar 10,2008 10:44am - immortal13 ""]
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:
immortal13 said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:At least Bob Rooney has the balls to use his real name. Too bad none of you are untouchable, none of you. The internet only hides you for so long.
To do the same thing as dude from LAZ:
Hey I'm Greg. I play bass for The Summoned and I live in Merrimack, NH. I'd put my street address up but then the Reverend might come try to molest me or something. If you feel you have to let us know the internet can only hide me for so long and feel like making threats, send me a PM and I'll give you my address, and I'll just sit there waiting.
Or you can just stop being a pussy and take your lectures elsewhere to a convention of people that like lectures.
I WILL FUCK YOU UP WITH AN 8 BALL IN A SOCK 4 RLZ
You mean serious business typing in all caps. Funniest part is I still have yet to be beaten by an 8 ball in a sock, 4 rlz. Ware u at? I's wateing yo.
[Mar 10,2008 10:46am - brian_dc ""]
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
nobody reeeeeeeads
[Mar 10,2008 11:14am - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
IT'S LOST AMIDST THE FAGGOTS WHO LOVE DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS AND WIZARD AND X-MEN
I'LL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
[Mar 10,2008 11:24am - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
RAVIOLIS IS FAGGITS
THAT WORK HARD AND PUT EFFORT INTO WHAT THEY DO
[Mar 10,2008 11:33am - poopface ""]
eata mya ballza
[Mar 10,2008 11:41am - Karma-Enema ""]
douchebag_patrol said:
Karma-Enema said:
This_Is_Heresy said:
Karma-Enema said:
PeteovDom said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:NO One on here is man enough to say anything? You all talk shit and then spit bullshit when you get called out on it.
this is probably KarmaEnema.
i dont fuckin think so....i will use my name if its me
i feel i've lost intelligence after reading some of this
Must be in the red now...
hmmmm???
in the red? maybe a little annoyed that someone so obtuse could be confused with me . but then again i have a history of saying "4 RLZ" and making internet threats .
You're a big fat guy with no job who sits around whacking off to porn and playing world of warcraft and getting fatter on a steady diet of Chinese food while mommy and daddy pay the bills.
[Mar 10,2008 11:45am - sxealex ""]
[img]
[Mar 10,2008 11:48am - brian_dc ""]
he's got a pretty nice view for a basement
[Mar 10,2008 12:31pm - KarmaEnema ""]
yaaaayyyy i LOVE blind potshots attacking my character.
it dont surprise me that ya'll cant tell the difference between me and this guy . some intelligence required .
well allow me to humor you.
i weigh 170 and am 5'9"
left the nest about 14 years ago
i support MY family , my family doesnt support me
that said "whacking off" is extracurricular at this point
other than that episode of south park i've never laid eyes on world of warcraft
and crab rangoon is the only thing i like for chinese......
douchebag you suck at this....hope you dont read palms
[Mar 10,2008 12:37pm - sxealex ""]
brian_dc said:he's got a pretty nice view for a basement
we'll say thats a poster....
[Mar 10,2008 12:48pm - KarmaEnema ""]
sxealex said:
brian_dc said:he's got a pretty nice view for a basement
we'll say thats a poster....
that came with a shade
[Mar 10,2008 2:04pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
I AM A GENIUS WHETHER YOU REALIZE OR NOT KARMAENEMA. WHATS YOUR IQ? MINE'S 187 AND THAT AIN'T NO COINCIDENCE MOTHERFUCKER. I THINK YOU JUST MADE IT TO THE TOP OF THE LIST.
[Mar 10,2008 2:08pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
AND TO EVERYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO STILL TALK SHIT I SAY BRING THE MOTHERFUCKIN RUCKUS!
BRING THE MOTHERFUCKER RUCKUS!
GHOSTFACE
CATCH THE BLAST OF A HYPE VERSE
MY GLOCK BURST
LEAVIN THE HEARSE I DID WORSE
I COME ROUGH
TOUGH LIKE AN ELEPHANT TUSK
[Mar 10,2008 2:10pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
AWWWWWWWWWWW SHIT
WU-TANG CLAN SPARK THE WICKS AND?
HOWEVER
I MASTERED THE TRICK JUST LIKE NIXON
CAUSIN TERROR
DAMAGE YA WHOLE ERA
[Mar 10,2008 2:16pm - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
Shame on a nigga who try to run game on a nigga
Wu buck wild with the trigger!
Shame on a nigga who try to run game on a nigga
Wu buck- I FUCK yo' ass up! What?
(HUT ONE, HUT TWO, HUT THREE, HUT!)
Ol' Dirty Bastard, live and uncut!
Styles unbreakable, shatterproof
To the young youth, ya wanna get gun? Shoot!
BLAOW! How you like me now? Don't fuck the style
Ruthless wild!
Do ya wanna getcha teeth knocked the FUCK out?
Wanna get on it like that, well then shout!
Yo RZA, yo razor!
Hit me with the major
The damage, my Clan understand it be flavor
Gunnin, hummin comin atcha
First I'm gonna getcha, once I gotcha, I gat-cha
You could never capture the Method Man's stature
For rhyme and for rapture, got niggaz resigning, now master
my style? Never! I put the fucking buck in the wild kid, I'm terror
Razor sharp, I sever
the head from the shoulders, I'm better
than my compeda, you mean competitor, whadeva!
Let's get together
(Shame on a nigga who try to run game on a nigga
Wu buckwild with the tri-BLAOW!)
I react so thick, I'm phat, and YO!
Rae came blowing and blew off ya headphones black
Rap from yo Cali to Texas
Smoother than a Lexus, now's my turn to WRECK this
Brothers approach and half step, but ain't heard
HALF of it yet, and I bet you're not a fuckin vet
So, when you see me on the real, formin like Voltron
Remember I got deep like a Navy Seal!
(Shame on a nigga who try to run game on a nigga
Wu buck wild with the trigger!
Shame on a nigga who try to run game on a nigga
I'll FUCK YOUR ASS UP!)
Yo...!
I come with that ol' loco
Style from my vocal
Couldn't peep it with a pair of bi-focals
I'm no joker! Play me as a joker
Be on you like a house on fire! Smoke ya!
Crews be actin like they gangs, anyway
Be like, "Warriors! Come out and playiyay!"
Burn me, I get into shit, I let it out like diarrhea
Got burnt once, but that was only gonorrhea
Dirty, I keep shit stinks in my drawers
So I can get fzza-funky for yah
Murder, taste the flame of the Wu-Tang RAHH!
Here comes the Tiger verse Crane!
Ow, be like wild with my style
Punk! You playing me, chump, you get DUMPED
WU! Is comin THROUGH! At a theatre near YOU!
And get funk like a SHOE!
What?!
[Mar 10,2008 2:19pm - KarmaEnema ""]
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said:I AM A GENIUS WHETHER YOU REALIZE OR NOT KARMAENEMA. WHATS YOUR IQ? MINE'S 187 AND THAT AIN'T NO COINCIDENCE MOTHERFUCKER. I THINK YOU JUST MADE IT TO THE TOP OF THE LIST.
yeah your smart , kicking those memorized lyrics and thinking i was even talkin to you......
187 ? you sure its that high ?
[Mar 10,2008 2:21pm - brian_dc ""]
Karma Enema spaketh:
"
and brian ..........everyone already knows your merit so never mind"
Question mark
[Mar 11,2008 3:08am - douchebag_patrol ""]
KarmaEnema said:yaaaayyyy i LOVE blind potshots attacking my character.
it dont surprise me that ya'll cant tell the difference between me and this guy . some intelligence required .
well allow me to humor you.
i weigh 170 and am 5'9"
left the nest about 14 years ago
i support MY family , my family doesnt support me
that said "whacking off" is extracurricular at this point
other than that episode of south park i've never laid eyes on world of warcraft
and crab rangoon is the only thing i like for chinese......
douchebag you suck at this....hope you dont read palms
[img]
You support your family? OMG! You're a basement dweller and you support them? They must be mole people.
[Mar 11,2008 9:05am - DestroyYouAlot ""]
[img]
[Mar 11,2008 9:06am - DestroyYouAlot ""]
Could you get me Ben Grimm's autograph?
[Mar 11,2008 10:40am - diarrhea_blumpkin ""]
RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES came to my house the other day cause he somehow got my address and started throwing feces at my mailbox... he ran once the police came
in summation: THIS GUY IS REAL!!!!
[Mar 11,2008 11:10am - RTTP YOU ARE ALL ASSHOLES ""]
THAT'S RIGHT I'M REAL AND YA'LL DON'T EVEN KNOW THE KINDA FECES I THROW
COMIN FROM THE TOP AND THE BOTTOM WITH MY FLOW
BITCHES AIN'T SHIT TIL THEY EAT MY DICK
AND DIARRHEA BLUMPKIN JUST TOPPED THE LIST
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
YALL JUST GOT SERVED
[Mar 11,2008 11:15am - DestroyYouAlot ""]
OH NO YOU DI'INT!
[Feb 12,2009 7:19pm - diarrhea_blumpkin ""]
lulz
[Feb 12,2009 7:32pm - reimroc ""]
This guy strikes me as a douchebag.
[Feb 12,2009 8:47pm - the_reverend ""]
RichHorror said:
diarrhea_blumps%20nli said:
RTTP%20YOU%20ARE%20ALL%20ASSHOLES said: RESPOND WHEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING WORTHY TO SAY.
pigs can orgasm for up to 30 minutes....
The diamond is the hardest substance known to man.
and here I thought the rock was the hardest substance known to man. my bad.
[Feb 12,2009 10:07pm - douchebag_patrol ""]
reimroc said:This guy strikes me as a douchebag.
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[Feb 13,2009 8:54am - Kadooganapalm ""]
good times
[Feb 13,2009 12:05pm - brodown ""]
I saw this and just had to hit the "quote" button.
[QUOTE="deadlikemurf:732147"]The first inhabitants of the Czech lands were prehistoric fish. That's because the country, at the time, was covered by a prehistoric ocean - thanks to which it is possible to find some very nice fossils of trilobytes in the Czech Republic today.
Today's Czech Republic was later populated by dinosaurs of all sorts, and later by neanderthals and even by mammoths. The prehistoric settlement of the present-day Czech Republic by people culminated in the fourth century B.C. with the arrival of the Celts, the first modern human inhabitants of this territory that we know of. In fact, the Latin name for the Czech lands, "Boiohaemum" (Bohemia), is derived from the name of the Boii Celtic tribe; and the Czech name for the Moldau River (which flows through the capital city of Prague) is Vltava - which is said to come from the Celtic "Vlt" meaning wild, and "Va" meaning water.
The Czech Celts were in part chased out of the region and in part assimilated by the next peoples to inhabit the area: the Germanic Marcomanni and Quadi tribes from the west and the Romans from the south. (The Romans didn't actually occupy Czech territory - they only got as far north as the Danube River, which flows from Germany - through Austria along its border with Slovakia - and then over to Hungary before continuing on to Yugoslavia, and so just misses the Czech lands.) During the Migration of Peoples - roughly from the 3d to the 7th centuries AD - Slav colonization spread westward from the Steppes of the East (probably from Panonia) all the way to the territory of the present-day Czech Republic and up to Poland and down again to Yugoslavia. From probably the sixth century AD on, the Slavic peoples settled, in several waves of migration, into the regions which had been conveniently abandoned by the Germanic tribes.
This is the way that it all came to be - according to popular Czech legend: Once upon a time there were three brothers: Czech, Lech and Rus. One day, they decided to find a new place to live, and so they and their tribes set out on a journey. They got as far as the Dnieper River when Rus said, "This is the place for me and my tribe!" and there the Russians stayed. Czech (who is known as "Praotec Cech," or Ancestor Czech in these parts) and Lech continued. Soon, they came upon a rich land overflowing with milk and honey and Czech climbed to the top of Rip hill in Bohemia and decided that this was the place for him and for his tribe. Lech and his people continued their journey and settled in present-day Poland. Other versions of the legend have 7 brothers in all, with the addition of other Slav nations like the Croats (who have a similar legend about 7 wandering brothers) and some others whose names are not remembered anymore. One modern interpretation of the story has the Czechs spending some time in Greece before finally heading north and settling, and this would actually conveniently explain the similarities between certain Czech legends (like that of Bruncvik's odyssey or of Sarka and her band of women warriors) with Greek ones.
Czech legend goes on to say that Cech's people were happy in the Czech lands, and after a few generations and some time had passed, the Slavs of Bohemia had a new leader - a guy by the name of Krok, who lived at Vysehrad (which means "high castle" and is today the site of the Czech National Cemetery). Probably the most important thing about Krok were his three very beautiful daughters, who were named Kazi, Teta and Libuse. The last of these, Libuse, had special powers which allowed her to see the future (Kazi, the oldest, was a healer who knew the secrets of the plants and herbs, while Teta was high priestess).
Libuse's talent came in particularly handy when it came time for her to marry. According to legend, she inherited rule over the Czech tribes from her father, Krok. As ruler of the lands, she was also the highest 'court of appeal' for disputes among the people. It is said that a guy who did not like one of her decisions as judge started a stink about the fact that the Czechs were ruled by a woman. And so Libuse had a vision - and sent her white horse, accompanied by a group of her subjects - to go out and find a guy ploughing in his field. After a journey of some days, the horse and the humans did indeed come upon just such a man (and nobody seemed surprised at all at this - neither the humans nor the horse nor even the man himself) and Przemysl Ploughman (Premysl Orac in Czech) came to Vysehrad and married Libuse and took over the job of ruling the unruly Czechs and he and Libuse together started the Przemyslid Dynasty, which ruled over the Czech lands till the 14th century.
One day, not long after the wedding, Libuse had a vision in which she foretold of the glory of the Czech capital. Standing atop Vysehrad hill, she went into a trance and told her vision to the people even as the gods sent it to her. She said that on the seven hills of Prague a fair city would grow, the fame of which would rise to the very stars. And all that she saw and all of which she foretold really came true. Of course!
Now, while Cech and Libuse are the stuff of imaginative Czech legend, it is believed that Samo - who may or may not have ruled this part of the world in the first half of the seventh century AD - was probably a real person. It's hard to tell, though, since nobody is sure of minor details like where Samo was from, where Samo lived, or where Samo ruled - if, that is, he existed at all. If he did, he is thought to have been a Frankish merchant who placed himself on the side of the Slavs against the wicked Avar tribes of Hungary. He is mentioned in early chronicles, where his address is given as Wogastisburg Fortress. Nobody today knows where this Wogastisburg Fortress was - but it's believed by Czechs to have stood on Rubin hill in Bohemia.
Wherever Samo's home base really was, his rule seems to represent the first successful attempt at uniting the Slavic tribes - and since the Slavs are not exactly known for their brotherly love for one another (then again, who in Europe is?), this was quite a feat. The reason for this unification under Samo was, predictably, quite pragmatic. The Slavic tribes cooperated in order to withstand attacks by the Avars, a powerful Asian tribe whose home was on the plains of Hungary.
At some point, Charlemagne joined in the battle against the Avars in this part of the world, cooperating either with Samo or with the state structure that came after him - the Great Moravian Empire.
Again, reports on the Great Moravian Empire are fuzzy. According to period chronicles, the people living along the Morava River at the time were already known as "Moravians," and their short-lived empire existed "somewhere" between today's Slovakia and Germany, and Poland and Austria (that is, somewhere in today's Czech Republic) in the 8th and/or 9th century. Just like Wogastisburg Fortress, it's claimed to have stood in different places by all the people who live in those different places.
At some time during the ninth century, Greater Moravia was ruled by the Moravian prince Svatopluk and had grown to include today's South Moravia, the southernmost bits of present-day Poland and Silesia, the western part of Hungary and, for a short time, the whole of Bohemia. Perhaps the most important thing about the Great Moravians is that theirs was the first legal sort of state structure in the area to accept Christianity, and the cultural development of the Greater Moravian Empire is inseparably linked to the spread of the eastern Byzantine liturgy of Sts Cyril and Methodius, who came to these parts in 863. They were invited by the Moravians - who were interested in Christianity but couldn't understand the language in which it was preached at the time. Cyril and Methodius were chosen for the mission because they understood and were able to speak in the Slavic tongue (again lending weight to the theory that the Slavs of these parts had not long before been spending some time in Greece).
Some buildings from around about this time still stand - mostly Romanesque basilicas like the one on Rip Hill (the very hill that Great-Granddad Czech liked so much!), at Vysehrad, in Prague's Old Town, and at other places. It was Cyril and Methodius, too, who brought the written word to the region (the Cyrillic alphabet is named for Cyril even though his real name was not Cyril but Constantine). The beginning of a written Slavic language was to be of enormous importance to Slavic nations in the Middle Ages. On the downside, the introduction of Christianity to this territory was so overwhelmingly successful that we know very little today about the pre-Christian religion of the pagan Slavs.
The Greater Moravian Empire disintegrated thanks to the Hungarian invasion of 903 or 904 and political intrigue in the early days of the Holy Roman Empire. After that, the Slavic mission in Moravia - which had been established by the missionaries Cyril and Methodius - collapsed, and the population reverted to tribal conditions. The Christian heritage of the Greater Moravian Empire, however, was to be preserved with the ascent of the Przemyslid dynasty to the throne of Bohemia.
The rise and fall of the Przemyslid Dynasty
With the Great Moravian Empire out of the way, the Przemyslid family succeeded in laying the foundations of a Czech state somewhere around the the end of the ninth century. They did this mostly by ridding themselves of all of the things that were standing in their way, like the Vrsovic and Slavnik clans - which the Przemyslids murdered in a particularly bloody manner. The only Vrsovec to escape the massacre of his family was Adalbert, but it didn't do him much good. Adalbert was so thankful for his salvation that he became a Christian missionary and headed northwest (to the area of today's northeast Germany) to spread the Word. No sooner did he arrive at his destination than he was brutally roasted and eaten by the inhabitants. Adalbert (or Vojtech, as he is known in Czech) is another of the Czech nation's patron saints today.
But Vojtech was not the only early Czech guy to be made a saint thanks to the Przemyslid's bloodthirstiness. On the contrary - the Przemyslid rulers were rather a mixed bag, and when they ran out of rival clans to murder, they started murdering each other - resulting in some more early saints for the Czechs.
Wenceslas I, the fourth Przemyslid Czech ruler, was made a saint soon after his murder in 929 or 935. This Wenceslas (in Czech, Vaclav) is the Good King Wenceslas of the Christmas carol, and it was during his reign that the Czech lands entered into an alliance with Saxony, thereby laying the foundations for closer relations with the restored Roman Empire.
This mischievous affability on Wenceslas' part towards the Czechs' western neighbors is a main reason that he was killed by his brother, who wasn't very good (in fact he is known as "Boleslav the Cruel.") Another reason might be that Boleslav was a pagan, and he felt that Wenceslas was frittering away too much time with this new Christian fashion he'd picked up -- though lust for power probably also played a role in Boleslav's motive for the murder, which took place at the very door of the church in Stara Boleslav, where Wenceslas was trying to seek refuge.
Incidentally, Boleslav and Wenceslas' Grandmother (on their father's side) was also murdered, and also made a saint. It is said that she was either smothered to death with a pillow or choked to death - this time, the killer was her daughter-in-law (Boleslav and Wenceslas' mother), and the motive was, again, power (Drahomira wanted to place Wenceslas on the throne.)
Things didn't get much better within the Przemyslid family, it is suspected that . Interestingly enough, the Przemyslids are remembered rather fondly in the Czech Republic today, as it seems that most people are blissfully unaware of the family's murderous streak.
Maybe that is because the Przemyslids occasionally took time off from their favorite sport to increase Bohemia's power and prestige. In typical early feudal fashion, this meant that they went out killing people in other countries instead, expanding their empire to Moravia and Silesia, as well as the upper reaches of the river Vistula and parts of western Slovakia. In Moravia, they set up a system of dukedoms, with the office of "Margrave" (ruler of Moravia) sometimes being held by the Bohemian Dauphin, sometimes by a rival for the Bohemian throne. In this way the Przemyslide dynastic killings were stayed, and both Bohemia and Moravia came to be regarded as hereditary lands of the Przemyslid dynasty. All the while, the expansion of the Przemyslid Dynasty's power went hand in hand with the spread of Christianity in the region.
This growing Przemyslide state maintained its sovereignty, though it formally recognized the feudal supremacy of the Roman-German Empire. The Czech lands ranked among the most advanced of the European feudal states, being at the forefront of economic power and cultural achievement at the time. In keeping with this growing importance, the territory was officially recognized through the granting of a royal crown to the Przemyslid Dynasty in the eleventh century (it was made hereditary in 1212 by the Golden Sicilian Bull) and the granting of the title of 'emperor' for Czech rulers.
The 1100s and 1200s were a very busy time in this part of Europe, and colonization, trade and cultural activity were steadily on the increase. Prague, which lay smack dab in the middle of several continental trade routes, flourished. Prague's Old Town was founded in 1234 as the first of Prague's five towns, and the Lesser Quarter was founded in 1257. Border forests were settled and towns and fortresses were founded and fortified. These sweeping changes literally transformed the country, and in keeping with these physical changes, the social structure of the territory also evolved. From about this time, aristocrats, burghers, and serfs were to be spotted in the Czech lands - as were German settlers, who were invited to colonize previously uninhabited (mostly border) regions of Bohemia and Moravia. The German settlers, whether burghers or peasants, did not form a homogeneous or politically separate group, and they soon became part of the local community, identifying with Czech statehood and sharing in the development of the Czech and Moravian lands as fully enfranchised members of the population, but mostly but keeping their native language (in addition to learning Czech.) Many, many, many, many centuries later, the places that they settled would come to be known as the "Sudetenland."
From the thirteenth century, the Czech kingdom was one of the most robust states in all of Europe, with a growing population and a vigorous economy. This, in turn, made the Czech nobility and rulers all the more rich and powerful, and enabled king Przemysl Otakar II to expand his territory rather extensively (if briefly). Otakar II was quite well-known in his time, and he even makes an appearance in Dante's Divine Comedy. Otokar II, also known as the "King of Gold and Iron" (because of his considerable wealth and his considerable military might) defeated the armies of the Hungarian king in 1256 and again in 1260. This military victory allowed him to annex the Alpine countries (today's Austria and beyond) - extending his territories all the way to the Adriatic Sea. Some people claim that this brief period - in which Bohemia controlled territory bordering on the sea - is the basis for Shakespeare's infamous 'Bohemian seacoast' from his play, "The Tempest."
Well, while the Czech lands were gaining power, prestige, oceanfront property and other things, a powerful rival appeared in Germany in the person of the newly-elected ruler of the Holy Roman Empire, Rudolf Habsburg - a member of a previously unimportant family from the Rhineland. This Rudolf formed an alliance of German princes and - after the Czech King Przemysl Otakar II was killed in battle in Moravia against the combined Roman and Hungarian forces on August 26, 1278 - Rudolf took possession of the abovementioned Alpine lands, which later became the basis of the Habsburgs' power - ie Austria.
The late Czech King Przemysl Otakar II was succeeded by his son, Wenceslas II (1278-1305). Under his reign, the mining of Czech silver at Kutna Hora and the minting of the Czech silver groschen - one of the hardest European currencies of the time - flourished. Wenceslas II also created a confederation between Bohemia and Poland. For a short time, Hungary - under the rule of Matthias Czak Trenciansky, who held absolute rule over most of Slovakia as well - also joined this confederation.
The Polish-Czech union was strengthened under the brief rule of Wenceslas III. Had it survived, it might have contributed to the creation of a more advanced region in Europe as the earlier Czech- Austrian union had. However, this was precluded by the death of young Wenceslas III (in 1306, when he was just 17 years old). Wenceslas III was the last male member of the Przemyslids line, and after his death the Czech-Polish union fell apart.
The Luxembourg Dynasty and
King Charles IV
With the demise of Wenceslas III, the last of the Przemyslid rulers of the Czech lands, the difficult question of who should rule next had to be answered. And answered it was - by 14-year-old John of Luxembourg, the first of the Luxembourgs to occupy the Czech throne (1310-1437). John of Luxembourg gained this position with the support of the Czech nobility by marrying 18-year-old Eliska Przemyslova, the sister of the late Wenceslas III.
Under John of Luxembourg's rule, more territories - including the regions of Cheb, Lusatia and Silesia - were joined to Bohemia. All of these regions together, under the rule of John of Luxembourg, came to be known as the "Lands of the Czech Crown." So you see, there never was an easy "one-word" way (like 'Czechia') to describe this part of the world, not even in way back in the 14th century.
John of Luxembourg was a good king, but he had a fatal weakness for chivalry, knighthood, honour - and especially, for battles. He loved to fight. When there weren't any battles in his immediate neighborhood, he went abroad to help his friends fight their battles. And so it happened that he fell at the battle of Crecy in 1346, fighting on the side of his French friend and distant relative Charles, against the Black Prince. And so he was succeeded by his young son, Charles IV.
Charles IV was just as noble - but much more practical than his caravanting father had been, and he took a keen interest in all aspects of rule over the Czech lands. Charles IV was not really named Charles. He was named Wenceslas IV - but he had been reared at the French court, and everyone there called him Charles, and so the name stuck. (His son, who succeeded him on the Czech throne, was also named Wenceslas IV, and this sometimes leads to some confusion.) When Charles IV came to power, he was still very young. Since he'd been raised in France, he didn't speak Czech. Wicked advisors surrounded the young king, and attempted to usurp the real rule of Bohemia while leaving young Charles IV in place as a figurehead.
Charles IV may have been young, but he was no dummy. He spoke 5 languages fluently (at a time when many crowned heads could not even read and write), and he was a masterful diplomat. He also had friends in high places - Pope Klement, who was elected during Charles IV's reign, had been the Czech sovereign's tutor at the court in Paris.
Young Charles IV saw through the transparent plans of the wicked advisors who surrounded him. He quickly learned Czech, and took over rule of his own land himself.
Charles IV was very clever, very devout, and very savvy. He was also a lover of art and a collector of holy relics (which he kept under lock and key all year long except for Easter, when he paraded them through the country like a travelling circus).
The medieval Czech state reached the zenith of its power and importance Charles IV. He was the King of Bohemia, later also Holy Roman Emperor, and today he is known as the Father of the Czech Nation.
Charles was a very good king, and he paid attention to detail. It was he who made sure that the status of the "Lands of the Czech Crown" - the territories his father had gathered together under his rule - was legally fixed (this task was made all the easier since he was Holy Roman Emperor). He initiated a number of building projects in his reign, especially in Prague. It was at his behest that Charles Bridge and St. Vitus' Cathedral were built, and the "Hunger Wall" that he commissioned (remnants of which still stand today on Petrin Hill in Prague) is thought to be the first works-project in the world, as he had it built to create employment for the poor and hungry masses (hence the name). Charles IV personally planned Prague's "New Town" district, where Charles Square - which is also named for him - lies. Karlstejn Castle and Karlovy Vary (Carlsbad) are also named for Charles IV.
Many of the building projects initiated by Charles IV still stand, and most are perfect examples of the Gothic style of architecture, which is characterized by clean simple lines and solid structure - like the Charles Bridge and its towers, the Carolinum, or the Old-New Synagogue.
Charles IV also founded Charles University, the first center of higher education in all of Central Europe. During his reign, Prague was the capital of the Holy Roman Empire (a gilded sign on the Old Town Hall still proclaims "Praga Caput Regni" today), and he successfully lobbied to have the Prague bishopric made an archbishopric (this task was actually quite easy, as the privelege was granted him by his former tutor, now the Pope.)
It was Charles IV, too, who brought the cultivation of the grape and the wine industry to the beer-drinking Czech lands. That isn't to say that he neglected the beer industry - under his reign, stiff prison sentences were meted out to those caught exporting cuttings of prize Czech hops - essential to the brewing of great Czech beer - abroad.
Charles IV had no fewer than four wives, and any number of progeny, both legitimate and il. Of these, his oldest legitimate son, Vaclav IV, was naturally chosen as his successor.
The Hussite Era
Wenceslas IV (1378-1419), son of Charles IV and heir to the Czech and Roman crowns, was a weak and ineffective ruler. He was also mean, a drunk, and wildly unpopular. He was imprisoned twice during his reign. Had times been different, this may not have mattered much. As luck would have it, however, he became king during a particularly turbulent time in Czech history.
Unfortunately, Wenceslas IV was much more interested in drinking than in ruling. He was terribly spoiled, and even as an adult he would throw fits when people didn't do exactly as he wished them to. He is remembered by history today in two ways: sometimes as a wishy- washy, good-for-nothing drunkard, and sometimes as a benefactor of the common man. The way in which this latter reputation was earned is usually explained in this way: Wenceslas IV used to go around Prague dressed as a commoner. He would go to pubs and shops this way, and whenever he found a merchant giving the public short measures, he would punish them by having them thrown off Charles Bridge into the river to drown. If this legend is based on fact, then it is probably likely that Wenceslas IV pursued this hobby not so much to help the common man, but rather from the pleasure he derived from having people thrown into the river.
Probably the most famous person Wenceslas IV had thrown into the river was an insignificant court clerk by name of John of Pomuk. During the Counter-Reformation, the Catholic Church recovered the story of John of Pomuk's death and entirely overhauled it - making John's name John of Nepomuk, making his job the confessor to the Queen (instead of an office clerk), and making the reason for his execution the "fact" that John refused to divulge the Queen's secrets - told in Confession - to the king. John of Nepumuk was eventually made a saint on the basis of this story, but the Vatican rescinded the decision in 1961, explaining that testimony of his miracles and other evidence of his deeds was "fishy."
It's hard to say what the common people of the time really thought of Wenceslas IV, as common people don't usually have much of a say in the writing of history. It is known that he was wildly unpopular with the nobility, who had him imprisoned not once but several times during his reign.
He wasn't exactly revered by his brother, Sigismund, either. Even as the careless blood of his grandfather, John of Luxembourg, coursed through Vaclav IV's veins - so did the power-hungry blood of the early Przemyslide rulers flow freely through the arteries of Sigismund. In short, he wanted to be king, and it was he who was behind at least one of the conspiracies to imprison King Vaclav IV.
While this court intrigue was going on, things couldn't really have been all that good for the common man, else he'd not have been spending much of his leisure time listening to the rabble-rousing preachers who started travelling around the country at this time, full of criticism for the excesses of the Catholic Church.
One such religious reformer was to play a pivotal (though posthumous) role in deciding the country's fate for the next several hundred years.
Jan Hus had been greatly influenced by the writings of John Wycliffe, and he began conducting his sermons at Bethlehem Chapel in Prague in Czech rather than in Latin, so that the common man could understand them. He also advocated the giving of communion in both species, and was critical of the church for its excessive policies - of amassing wealth, selling indulgences, and allowing the rich to tithe their way out of even mortal sins.
Even as these ideas were gaining popularity in the Czech lands, they were becoming most wildly unpopular in other areas of the Holy Roman Empire (especially the Vatican.) This led to the burning of Master Jan Hus at the stake at the Council at Constance on July 6, 1415 when he refused to recant his words and despite that he had letter of safe conduct from Wenceslas IV's brother, Sigismund).
The brutal killing of Jan Hus only served to incense and unite his followers, who came to be known as the Hussites.
The Hussites were highly critical of the abuses of the Roman Catholic Church, and, in the Four Articles of Prague, they demanded that 1) all believers be permitted to receive Communion in both species; 2) all mortal and public sins be punished equally, regardless of the sinner's status 3) the Word of God be freely preached; and 4) the clergy give up their worldly wealth.
This situation culminated in 1419 with the First Defenestration of Prague, in which Hussites threw 7 members of the Czech Town Council out of Prague's New Town Hall window -- and to their deaths on the points of Hussite-weilded pikes below. To make the situation more interesting, King Wenceslas IV had an apopleptic fit and died of a heart attack upon learning of the defenestration.
But even after the death of his brother, Wenceslas IV, King Sigismund of Luxembourg, who also inherited the title of Holy Roman Emperor never really got to be king of Bohemia. The situation with the Hussites had gone too far, and he spent the rest of his life fighting them in the hopes of taking control of the throne he'd inherited from his brother. When his initial attempts to do this met with failure, he beseeched the Pope to send help.
The mighty Hussites, led by the one-eyed military genius, Jan Zizka, defeated five waves of crusaders in a row: in 1420, 1421, 1422, 1427, and in 1437.
Actually, the fifth army of crusaders sent to battle the Hussites turned tail and fled before even catching sight of the famed warriors - because they were so terrified at hearing the refrain of the terrible Hussite battle song, "Ye Warriors of God." It was either that, or maybe just that the warriors didn't sing very well.
Well, in addition to fear-inspiring songs and the other tricks the Hussites had up their sleeves, they also had the thing that matters most - conviction that their cause was the Just one. Their symbol was the chalice and their motto, "Truth Prevails." (this motto was later used by the first President of Czechoslovakia, Tomas Garrigue Masaryk, as well as by a later President of Czechoslovakia, Vaclav Havel - during the Velvet Revolution).
Well, despite this and despite their brilliant military successes, all was not well within the Hussite movement itself. From the very start, the Hussite movement had been divided into factions - the most prominent division was along economic lines.
A number of peasant Hussites were nothing more than hooligans at best - terrorists at worst - who joined the cause only so that they could have a good excuse to go around robbing churches and setting them aflame with Catholics inside. These practices were considered to be rather in poor taste by the aristocratic Hussites. Over time, the movement splintered even more - even spawning an early nudist sect, the Adamites. The history books usually divide the Hussites into radical "Taborites" - named for the town of Tabor, a city the Hussites founded for the occasion of the Second Coming, which many considered imminent - and the moderate "Utraquists" - derived from the Latin "sub utraque specie" for their belief that communion should be given "in both kinds" - made up mostly of the nobility. In reality, though, the situation on the ground just was not that simple.
This infighting came to a head at the Battle of Lipany on May 30, 1434, at which the Czech Hussite factions fought among themselves. This battle is considered by some to be the single most tragic event in all of Czech history.
Well, the victory at the Battle of Lipany went to the moderates, and this paved the way for an agreement to be reached between the "Utraquist Hussites" of Bohemia and the Roman Catholic Church.
The Basel Compact, ceremoniously announced in 1436, permitted the "Utraquist Hussites" to take Communion in both kinds, to have their church services conducted in the Czech language, and absolved them of having to pay dues to Rome. The Pope later refused to recognize the agreement, but not before it had served to bring an end to the costly Hussite wars.
The extremist "Taborite Hussites" were not a party to this agreement, and refused to accept it. While the moderates stayed in the Catholic Church, the extremists went underground, forming their own church, ordaining their own bishops, pioneering public education, sending out missionaries (even to the 13 original American colonies) and secretly printing Czech-language copies of the "Kralice Bible" - named for the town of Kralice in which it was printed. This translation is still in use in the Czech lands today, despite that it is often hard for modern speakers of the language to understand.
George of Podebrady
Slovakia all this while was known simply as "Upper Hungary." Though the Czechs and the Slovaks had been next-door neighbors since the time that Ancestor Cech and his brothers had come to the area, they have historically had very little in common (until 1918). Similarly, neither country has historically ever had much to do with Poland, which borders both to the north. It is at this point in history - beginning in the 14th century, however, closer cultural contacts between Slovakia and Bohemia were formed. Especially during the turbulent Hussite period of the 15th century, many Hussite followers found refuge and support in the Slovak lands, and some of the Slovak nobility fought on the side of the Hussites.
After the Compact of Basel forced King Sigismund of Luxembourg to concede to the Hussites' demands, the position of the regional nobility and of the towns (a grouping known as the "Estates") was strengthened, to the detriment of the centralized royal authority. For some time after Sigismund's death in 1437, anarchy reigned in Bohemia.
Then, after the very brief rule of Ladislav the Posthumous (1453-7) - so named because he was born after his father had died - the Bohemian throne was occupied by the "heretic" King George of Podebrady (1458-71). George, also known as the "Hussite" King, was the first freely-elected Czech ruler. He was chosen as Czech King from among the country's nobility without regard to any previous agreements, hereditary claim to the throne, family connections or dynastic origin. George of Podebrady won recognition throughout the Lands of the Czech Crown through his skillful diplomacy, and gained the respect of all of Central Europe. He also, in the 15th century, authored an ambitious "Peace Plan" for all of Europe, sort of a medeival equivalent to a NATO-like organization.
But few people then, as now, were interested in peace, and nobody subscribed to his plan. On the contrary - the Hungarian monarch at this time, Matthias Corvinus - with the support of the disgruntled Czech Catholic opposition, who didn't like the idea of a Protestant on the throne - declared war against George of Podebrady, who happened to be Matthias' father-in-law. The Hungarian campaigns against Bohemia ceased only after the death of the beloved Hussite King, George of Podebrady, and the ascent of Vladislav Jagellon to the throne.
Czech-Slovak relations were strengthened at this time with the forming of the Czech-Hungarian union under the Jagellons after the death of Matthias Corvinus in 1490; and after the Kralice Bible began to be used by the Slovak Evangelical Church.
In spite of conflicts both foreign and domestic, and even under the rule of the Jagellon dynasty's two Catholic kings, Vladislav and Ludwig, religious pluralism and freedom of religion were maintained in the Czech lands, with Protestants and Catholics living together in harmony. All during this time of weak royal leadership, the power of the nobility and towns (the Estates) continued to increase - even as central authority diminished.
The Habsburgs and Rudolf II
With the death of Ludwig Jagellon (he drowned in a swamp running away from the Turks at the Battle of Mohacs in 1526), the short-lived Czech-Hungarian Union fell to pieces, leaving both the Bohemian and the Hungarian thrones unoccupied.
What a window of opportunity for the Austrian Habsburgs! That Ferdinand I of Habsburg, also happened to be the late Ludwig Jagellon's brother-in-law helped his claim to the Bohemain and Hungarian thrones. In Bohemia, the weakened central authority did, too. At first, Ferdinand made concessions to the ever-powerful Estates. Soon, however, he began systematically to weaken the authority of the regional nobility and towns. His attempts to increase the central power of the Crown naturally met with the opposition of the Estates, and the whole situation culminated in an unsuccesful rebellion of the Estates in 1547.
The Estates' failure was Ferdinand's gain. He used this victory to increase royal authority and to weaken the position of the Estates and the towns even more. He also invited the Jesuits to come to the Czech lands, though they never held any inquisitions here and generally did not meddle in public affairs. Ostensibly fighting to maintain freedom of religion in the Czech lands against the resolutely Catholic policies of Ferdinand, the Estates struggled to regain their former power and influence.
These conflicts simmered under the surface of things as the Renaissance swept through the Czech lands.
Ferdinand was succeeded by Maxmilian II, who was succeeded by Rudolf II. After assuming the Austrian throne, the Habsburg ruler and patron of the arts and sciences, Rudolf II (1576-1611) moved his court from Vienna to Prague - making him the last crowned King of Bohemia to live at Prague Castle. Rudolf II was a real character. He had a pet lion, he collected great art - including works by Da Vinci, Michaelangelo, and Rafael - he supported scientists such as Tycho de Brahe, Johannes Kepler as well as artists like Spranger and Von Aachen, and he was a personal friend of the legendary Prague Jewish leader, Rabbi Loew. It is said that he also financed the work of any number of quack alchemists (on his invitation John Dee and Edward Kelley spent time in Prague), and that he was a little soft in the head. It's possible that the Legend of Faust (who lived in Prague) originated at this time of scientific exploration.
The architectural style of the time was Baroque, which - like Rudolf II himself - was round and robust, flamboyant and a little gaudy. Baroque buildings like the Loreto and St Nicholas Church in Lesser Town Square are massive and grand. The statues that top them appear so heavy that they seem likely to fall and crush innocent passers-by.
Rudolf II, who suffered periods of dementia because of his acute case of syphilis, was forced by his family to resign in 1611. He had been forced during his reign to concede religious freedom to the Czech Protestants, and when his brother and successor, Matthias, tried to rescind them, mounting political tensions led the Czech Estates to rebel against the Habsburgs once again.
They began their rebellion in grand Czech style, with the Second Defenestration of Prague in 1618. In this second defenestration, two vice- regents of the Austrian monarch and some governors of the Czech lands were thrown out of a tower window at Prague Castle. They were not killed, however, as they fell onto a pile of garbage (mostly straw) which had accumulated in the castle moat. So it can be said that they (at least the non-Austrian of the throwees) were the world's first bouncing Czechs. To add insult to injury (or perhaps insult to insult?) the Bohemian diet of the Estates then elected Frederick V of the Palatinate (also known as Frederick Faltz or as "the Winter King") as their ruler, thinking that his father-in-law - the English King James I - would come to their aid. They could not have been more wrong.
This rebellion of the Czech Estates was particularly unsuccessful. It culminated in the Battle of the White Mountain in 1620, in which the Estates were incontrovertibly defeated by the Habsburgs. They had been successful only in sparking the Thirty Years' War, which was to devastate much of Europe. Incidentally, the then-mercenary, later-philosopher Rene Descartes fought at the Battle of the White Mountain on the side of the Habsburgs.
Well, the Habsburgs, quite understandably, did not appreciate these disturbances which were emanating from the northern reaches of their empire. But the methods that they used to subdue the protestant Estates after the Battle of the White Mountain were extraordinarily harsh.
First, they executed 27 nobles - leaders of the Estates who had fought on the losing side against the Habsburgs at the Battle of the White Mountain - in Prague's Old Town Square in May 1621. Some of the heads of the decapitated leaders of the rebellion were then hung strategically around Prague - for instance, on the Old Town bridge tower of the Charles Bridge - to serve as an ominous reminder to the people of Who was Boss. (It is said that every year, at the exact hour and on the exact day that they were killed, the ghosts of the 27 wrongly-executed nobles can be seen haunting the spot where they lost their heads. The place today is marked by 27 crosses in the cobblestones of Old Town Square, next to the Astronomical Clock.) The heads hung there for 11 long and lonely years, before finally being taken down and given a proper burial by the Saxons, who occupied Prague in 1632 in the course of the Thirty Years' War.
The Thirty Years' War, which had begun in Prague, ended there, too. In 1648, the Swedes had succeeded in capturing the Lesser Quarter and plundering it and Prague Castle (carrying off many valuable artworks which decorate Swedish castles and palaces to this day). They were defeated by a ragtag force of Czech university students and residents of Prague's Jewish town on the Charles Bridge in the last battle of the Thirty Years' War. It is said that the Swedes were beseeched to come by the exiled Protestant leader, Comenius (Jan Amos Komensky) - he had wanted them to come to the aid of the by-now utterly defeated Protestant forces, but by the end of the war it was already too late.
As a result of all this tumult, the Czech lands lost the power to elect their own rulers, and the Czech crown was made hereditary for Habsburg rulers. The Habsburgs banned all religions other than Catholicism. The property of Protestant members of the nobility was confiscated and handed out to loyal Catholics.
Those Czech Protestants who weren't already in exile were forced to convert to Catholocism. Only a very few had the courage to continue to practice their religion in secret.
The population of the country had been halved by the sundry aftermath of the Battle of the White Mountain, and as fewer people also means fewer people paying tax, taxes were raised.
Things were pretty bad all around. The rich got richer, the poor got poorer, and the economy went into a deep recession. Luckily, it was high time for the Enlightenment to make an entrance. The administrative reforms of Maria Theresa and her son, Joseph II, did much to alleviate the situation.
These two rulers reduced the privileges of the now all-Catholic nobility (who are also - perhaps to confuse us all - known as the Estates, as the formerly Protestant nobility had also been called). They expelled the Jesuits in 1773, and they attempted to end social oppression by abolishing serfdom in 1781. In the same year, they issued the Edict of Tolerance, which permitted the free exercise of religion and the secularization of education, science and art. Prague's Jewish town is called "Josefov" to this day in honor of Josef II.
Of the Industrial and Other Revolutions
The Industrial Revolution, as most revolutions do, started off small at the end of the 18th century, and then really picked up steam - so to speak - in the 19th century. It was to have a monumental impact on the Czech lands.
The first factories in the Austrian Empire were built in the mountainous border regions of the Czech lands, where there was no shortage of water power from rushing streams and rivers to run them. While it did not take long for steam power to be harnessed, the industrial boundaries had been drawn, and these regions remain predominantly industrial to this day.
Railway lines were laid (in the Czech lands, by Jan Perner - who met his death when he hit his head against a pole while leaning out of the window of a moving train - an activity which has been forbidden in this country since the Czech railway pioneer's tragic accident.) Trams (mostly constructed by the "Czech Thomas Edison," Frantisek Krizik) began to carry people around on their errands in and between major towns (in those days, tram lines connected the cities of Bratislava, Budapest and Vienna to each other - about a one-hour ride). It was at this time, too, that Gregor Mendel was conducting his famous experiments on hereditary with peas in a monastery in Moravia, and that Jan Evangelista Purkyne peered into his microscope one day to discover a cell looking back at him (he was the first person to recognize it as such).
The major architectural styles of the time were Classicist and Empire, both of which used classical Greek and Roman motifs in a balanced and simple design. Two buildings which are closely associated with Mozart's stay in Prague in the late 18th century are excellent examples of these styles: the Estates Theatre, in which Mozart conducted the premier of Don Giovanni, is Classicist and the Bertramka villa, where he stayed with the Dusek family, is one of the purest examples of Empire that exists in the Czech Republic. But we digress.
Industrialization was not the only big change taking place in the Austrian Empire at this time. The Czech nation, like most of the others under Austrian rule, was also going through political and cultural changes, leading to demands for greater autonomy and self- determination for the different nations under Austrian rule.
In this country, the push for autonomy was known as the Czech National Revival movement (Narodni obrozeni). The dominant political leaders of the movement - Frantisek Palacky, Frantisek Ladislav Rieger and Karel Havlicek Borovsky - were "liberals." This meant that they wanted reforms within the Austrian monarchy, but did not want independence for the Czech lands. This brought them into conflict with the "democrats," who were republican and fiercely anti-Monarchy.
But the Czech National Revival movement almost had more to do with culture than with politics. Frantisek Palacky and Karel Havlicek Borovsky, who are mentioned above for their political efforts, were both writers. Czech Literature enjoyed a Golden Age during the Czech National Revival, as the Czech language - which had all but died out under Habsburg rule - was rediscovered. Other notable writers of the time include Bozena Nemcova, Karel Hynek Macha (who published the epic lyrical poem "Maj," then died of pneumonia he caught while fighting a fire one month before he was to be married), and Josef Jungmann - who put together the first modern Czech dictionary.
Many popular books retelling the old Czech legends of Libuse and Sarka and Bivoj and Bruncvik were published at this time, and some of the leaders of the Czech National Revival even falsified "ancient 13th century texts" of these legends, which they claimed to have found in a cave somewhere. Perhaps the only authority in the movement who publicly denied the authenticity of the texts was a young university professor by name of Tomas Garrigue Masaryk, and he was passionately detested by the other leaders for doing so.
But we digress yet again. France had its infamous revolution in 1848. In the same year in the Czech lands, the feudal system was abolished, leading to waves of emigration, much of it to the New World - particularly to the United States. In June 1848, a Pan-Slavic Congress convened in Prague to consider possible ways of convincing the Habsburgs to transform their empire into a federative state of equal nations (something like a 'United States of Austria'). Suddenly, the discussions were interrupted by an aimless rebellion inspired by the French Revolution and including dramatic baracades in the streets, which was led by bored students and the most radical of the radical democrats.
The rebellion was effortlessly put down by the local Austrian leader, Prince Windischgratz - who declared martial law and, on June 16, 1848 even bombarded Prague from Petrin Hill. In this way both the revolt and the Pan-Slavic congress both came to a premature end, leaving the question of the future shape of the Austrian Empire utterly unresolved. In a strange aside to this episode, Prince Windischgratz's wife lost her life in all this commotion - shot through a window while she was in her apartment. To this day, nobody knows who did the shooting or why.
Scared by both the French Revolution and the summer rebellion in Prague, Austria introduced something akin to martial law in the whole of the Empire to discourage republican efforts at independence. Autonomy movements throughout the Austrian Empire were suppressed. But as revolutionary movements have a tendency of doing, this one did not die down; it just sat around simmering below the ostensibly calm surface of things. Tensions did not decrease. On the contrary.
The Austrian Empire of the time was massive, and contained the territories of many modern-day countries. Most of these nationalities were clamoring for autonomy.
In the 1860s, this pressure led the Habsburgs to transform the Austrian Empire into the dualist Austro-Hungarian constitutional monarchy. This was just hunkey-dorey by the Hungarians, but was not exactly appreciated by most of the other ethnic nations within what was now the Austro-Hungarian Empire.
The Czechs were united in their opposition to the new dual system, but they were divided among themselves as to what they wanted to do about it. These divisions grew deeper as the 19th century progressed.
There were a number of rival political factions: the Czech National Party (split into two camps: the conservative Old Czechs and the liberal Young Czechs); the Czech Social Democratic Party (founded in 1878); the progressives (who favored the policies of Tomas Masaryk); the Agrarian party; the Christian Socialists; the National Socialists; and the Radical Progressives.
The majority of the Czech political parties supported a program calling for the restoration of the Czech state in its historical borders - but within the framework of the Austrian Empire. Again, each party had a different idea of exactly how this goal should be accomplished.
The turn of the 19th and 20th centuries was characterized by growing economic and political freedom for the Czechs and by outstanding acheivements on the part of Czechs in culture, medicine, and science. Architectural trends at the end of the century were romantic copies of past styles, like Neo-Gothic. These romantic enthusiasts sometimes did more harm than good, as in the case of the reconstruction of Karlstejn Castle (It is because of this ill-fated reconstruction that Karlstejn does not qualify for the UNESCO World Heritage list today.) In other cases, they just did silly things like build fake "ancient" ruins in Prague parks (perhaps to go along with their "ancient" legend texts). The Czech writers and artists Jan Neruda, Alois Jirasek, Mikulas Ales, Bedrich Smetana, Antonin Dvorak Alfons Mucha and Frantisek Bilek all lived and worked at this time. The National Theater, National Museum and Rudolfinum were built at the turn of the century, and the first films in the Czech Republic were made in 1898.
The battle for "universal" suffrage within the Austro-Hungarian state was won in 1907. (All men in the Czech lands, regardless of economic status, could vote -- women in the Czech lands did not get the vote until 1919). But most of the rest of the political advances made by the Czechs came into being in a sort of fuzzy grey area. The constitutional status of the Czech lands within the framework of the Monarchy remained an open and - in Prague, at least - a much-debated question.
Well, while Czech nationalists were busy sitting in pubs drinking beer and debating how best to effect the changes they wanted to see implemented in the Austro-Hungarian government, members of other nations within the Empire were also pressing for reforms and for independence. It was these pressures that led Serbian nationalist Gavrillo Princip to assassinate the Archduke Francis Ferdinand (the heir to the Austrian throne) on June 28, 1914, precipitating World War I. Princip was locked up for this deed, and spent the rest of his days at the prison in Terezin Fortress in the Czech lands.
World War I and Czechoslovak Independence
During the course of World War I, the Czechs became unified in their opposition to Austrian rule.
Most especially, Austria-Hungary's alignment with Germany and the restriction of democratic rights in the Czech lands led to growing opposition to the monarchy here. An organized resistance began to develop, both at home and abroad.
The Czech university professor, philosopher and politician, Tomas Garrigue Masaryk (the same one who doubted the authenticity of the faked manuscripts and the one who was later to become Czechoslovakia's first president) had been an advocate of more independence for the Czech lands long before the war had even started. In December of 1914, he went abroad, where he continued to fight for Czechoslovak independence throughout the war. He worked closely with Czech lawyer Edvard Benes and Slovak astronomer Milan Rastislav Stefanik, who were also in exile in the United States throughout the conflict. It was in the United States at this time that Masaryk met his wife, American Charlotte Garrigue.
It was there, too, that Masaryk, Benes, and Stefanik founded the Czech National Council in 1916. Over time, this organization was renamed the Czechoslovak National Council and was recognized as the valid voice of Czechoslovakia by Allied leaders. Their position as the leaders of "free Czechoslovakia" was further strengthened with the formation of Czechoslovak military units known as the Czechoslovak Legions, which fought alongside the Allies. The Czechoslovak Legions earned particular distinction on the Italian, French, and Russian fronts - and on the last of these, they actually became involved in the Russian Revolution, fighting against the Bolsheviks and, for a time during that revolution, controlled about half of the territory of Czarist Russia.
Resistance at home grew only gradually. At first, it was limited to small spy groups who had contact with Masaryk (who was considered an enemy of Austria on account of his subversive activities). Active resistance to the monarchy was severely punished, and as a result many prominent Czech cultural and political personalities spent most of the war behind bars, convicted of treason. While the sentence for treason at that time was actually death, the Austrians were too busy to carry out the sentences. Thus, the executions were never carried out, and these Czech leaders simply languished in jail for the duration.
By 1917, when things were quite apparantly not in Austria-Hungary's favor, Czech opposition to the war became much more active. People began organizing strikes, demonstrations, and even violent protests - which had to be put down by the army. Anybody who is particularly interested in this period of Czech history should definitely read "The Good Soldier Schwiek" by Jaroslav Hasek. It not only offers a great deal of insight into the kind of passive resistance the Czechs favor, but also offers many more insights into the Czech psyche.
In May 1918, the representatives of the resistance movement abroad had signed the Pittsburgh Convention, which approved the formation of a joint state composed of Slovakia and the Czech lands. Later - much later (very recently in fact) - Slovak politicians seeking autonomy for Slovakia would refer to a provision in this agreement mentioning Slovakia's own "administration, parliament and courts of law."
While the resistance leaders abroad were planning a new state, the various and sundry political forces in the Czech lands still could not agree on whether they wanted to radically reconstruct or completely abolish the political structure of Austria-Hungary. In July 1918, the Czech National Committee, a grouping of the leaders of the chief political parties (which wasn't much cooperating with Masaryk's efforts in exile), was reorganized and began preparing to assume power once the Central Powers were defeated.
In October 1918, Masaryk, Benes and Stefanik obtained recognition of the Czechoslovak National Council as the interim government of the Czechoslovak Republic from the Allied Powers. But while they were in Switzerland with delegates from the Prague National Committee discussing details of setting up this new state, a hastily-organized third grouping, the National Committee (headed by Antonin Svehla, Alois Rasin, Jiri Stribrny, Frantisek Soukup and Vavro Srobar) proclaimed Czechoslovakia an independent Republic on October 28, 1918 and began to assume the transfer of power from Austrian officials.
Adding to this disparity and completely independent of events in Prague, Slovak political representatives issued the Martin Declaration in favor of a joint Czechoslovak state on October 30, 1918.
The First Republic
On November 14, 1918, the interim Parliament declared that the new Czechoslovak state would be a republic, and named Tomas Garrigue Masaryk as the first President.
The Czechoslovak Republic (CSR) was composed of the historical Czech lands of Bohemia, Moravia and Silesia as well as Slovakia and Ruthenia (Sub-Carpathian Russia).
Czechoslovakia's relations with its neighboring states - Germany, Hungary, and Poland - were complicated from the very start.
In security matters, Czechoslovakia alligned itself with France and her partners in the Little Entente. As Germany grew more threatening in the course of the 1930's, Czechoslovakia also signed a pact with the Soviet Union, which promised to help Czechoslovakia in the case of need - but provided that France fulfilled her obligations to help the nation first.
The Czechs and the Slovaks - who had used nationalistic arguments to justify their drive for independence from Austria-Hungary - now found themselves at the other end of the bargaining table. While these two nations were officially considered the two partners in the Czechoslovak union, together they comprised less than 65 percent of the total population. More than 3 million Germans - some 23 percent of the population - lived mostly in the Czech border regions (the territories which were to become known as the "Sudetenland") Meanwhile, the Tesin region in the north was inhabited by a Polish minority of 75,000; South Slovakia and Ruthenia had a large Hungarian minority of about 745,000; and most of the population of Ruthenia (something less than half a million people) were, quite naturally, Ruthenians.
After World War I, ethnic Germans in the border regions made a half-hearted attempt to secede from Czechoslovakia, which was put down by the Czechoslovak army in 1918. Over the course of the next 20 years, the two largest German political parties - the Agrarians and the Christian Socialists - were won over by the Czechoslovak government and agreed to cooperate with the Czechoslovak state.
Czechoslovakia was one of the few states in Europe between the two World Wars with a genuine parliamentary democracy (guaranteed by the Constitution of February 1920). Even the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia (which had been established in 1921) was allowed to legally exist - which was very unusual for the time. The Communists even had a few members in parliament - and they were allowed to remain there even when they started to openly denounce democracy as such - and especially the democratic system in Czechoslovakia.
After dealing with post-war chaos, and putting down a few radical Bolshevist uprisings, the domestic political and economic situation in Czechoslovakia was basically stabilized by the beginning of the 1920s.
In the 20 years between the two World Wars, Czechoslovakia was one of the world's most advanced industrial-agrarian countries. In fact, it was among the 10 richest nations in the world at that time, as it had inherited virtually all of Austria's industrial base. This early stability paved the way for a flowering of Czech literature and culture. Proud of their new independence, Czechoslovaks were anxious to put their new country on the map - sometimes in the craziest ways. This led Czech Radio, for instance, to start broadcasting in 1923 - despite that they didn't have a transmitter or even a microphone. They simply borrowed the former (as well as a tent to protect them from the elements) from the Czechoslovak Boy Scouts, and manufactured the latter from a telephone receiver. Why the rush? They were anxious to be the first country in Central Europe to begin regular radio broadcaste. Of course, a Czech - by name of Frantisek Behounek - took part in the 1928 multinational attempt to reach the North Pole in a zeppelin - and was one of the survivors to be rescued after the good airship "Italia" crashed discouragingly far from its destination.
Experiments with architecture in interwar Czechoslovakia resulted in Prague today having the only Cubist buildings in the world, like The House at the Black Madonna (which houses a museum of Czech cubist art today) and a number of houses along the embankment under Vysehrad on Rasinovo nabrezi and on Neklanova Street. Franz Kafka, Josef Capek and his brother Karel (the two coined the word "robot" together), Jaroslav Hasek, Emil Filla, Max Svabinsky, Otto Gutfreund, Vaclav Spala all lived and worked at this time.
At the end of the twenties and the beginning of the thirties, the Czechoslovak economy was hit hard by the world economic crisis with disastrous social and political consequences: 1.3 million people were unemployed. Hardest hit were the soon-to-be-known-as-Sudeten border regions, where German inhabitants predominated.
The economic crisis and the growing influence of the Nazi movement in Germany served to politicize the ethnic Germans in Czechoslovakia. On Hitler's orders, they called first for autonomy, then for secession from the Czechoslovak state. In the 1935 elections, both of the traditional German parties (the Agrarians and the Christian Socialists) experienced a monumental decline in voter support in favor of the Sudeten German Party. The Sudeten German Party, with 15.2 percent of the vote, became the largest German-interest political party in the Republic.
Tomas Garrigue Masaryk resigned from office in 1935 due to illness, and was succeeded by Edvard Benes. Benes, a National Socialist, had the misfortune to be a weak and ineffectual ruler during a particular turbulent time in the nation's history - much as the king Wenceslas IV had been in the Hussite period centuries before.
A P.E. teacher named Konrad Henlein was the leader of the Sudeten German Party, and he gradually became the mouthpiece of Nazi Germany in Czechoslovakia. His was a separatist platform aimed at joining the Czech border lands to Germany.
Nothing less than Czechoslovakia's sovereignty was at stake. But this did not interest many people outside of the small Czechoslovak state.
France and Britain favored a policy of appeasement in response to Hitler's aggressive policy towards Czechoslovakia, and so Konrad Heinlein's wish came true in September, 1938 - when the four great powers of the time (Germany, Great Britain, France and Italy) decided, at a meeting in Munich, that extensive areas of the Czech border regions were to be ceded to Germany.
Shortly after the Munich Pact was signed, the Czech border regions were indeed joined with Germany. Seizing this window of opportunity, Poland snapped up the Tesin region in the north, and Hungary annexed the southern part of Slovakia while Hungary captured Ruthenia. Overnight, Czechoslovakia lost about a third of its territory.
World War II
After six months of the "Second Republic" - as the old Czechoslovakia, minus its border regions, was known - Bohemia and Moravia were occupied by the Nazis. Slovakia had ceded from Czechoslovakia the day before - on March 14, 1939 - to form an "independent" Nazi state, and thus very short work indeed was made of the former Czechoslovakia.
Overnight, everyone had to start driving on the right side of the road (they had previously driven on the left, as the British still do).
The Czechoslovak President, Edvard Benes, and other government politicians had already fled abroad - mostly to France and to Britain. (Those that were in France went to Britain when France was occupied). These leaders' political campaign to represent Czechoslovakia's interests was an uphill battle at first, as western European powers still favored the policy of appeasement at that time.
By July 1940, however, Britain recognized President Benes as the leader of the provisional "free Czechoslovak government in exile." In addition to the London center of the provisional government, the Moscow Communist center - where politicians who favored the Soviet political system had fled - also played an important role in the Czechoslovak resistance movement during the war. Unfortunately, many of the Czechs and Slovaks who had chosen to go to Moscow spent at least part of the war years in Russian Gulags as suspected spies. Czechoslovak pilots in England's RAF were particularly distinguished fighters (even if they were initially segregated from regular troops for the same reason) and they would play a fundamental role in the Battle of Britain - but we are getting ahead of ourselves yet again. Czechoslovak army units were also formed in France and in North Africa.
On October 28, 1939 - which would have been the 21st anniversary of the Czechoslovak Declaration of Independence had Czechoslovakia not ceased to exist - popular celebrations turned into massive demonstrations of protest against the German occupation. A young medical student, Jan Opletal, was fatally wounded in the incident. His funeral, on November 17, 1939 turned into yet another spontaneous demonstration. (Fifty years later, on November 17, 1989, a march by students to commemorate this event helped bring about the fall of Communism). In 1939, the Nazis reacted to the student demonstration by sentencing nine student leaders to death, by closing the Czech universities, and by sending some 1,200 university students to concentration and labor camps.
The Nazi regime was very cruel and strict, and active resistance was harshly punished. Not surprisingly, then, the Czech and Slovak resistance movements were small. Yet they were very dedicated, very determined, and often surprisingly successful, especially in the field of sabotage.
During the war, Czechoslovak army units fighting abroad often parachuted foreign-trained Czech and Slovak soldiers into occupied Czech territory to perform special assignments. The most significant of these special assignments was the assassination, in 1942, of Reinhard Heidrich - the German Reichsprotektor of Bohemia and Moravia and one of the architects of the "Final Solution."
His assassination by two Czechoslovak parachutists on May 27, 1942 set off a reign of terror throughout the Czech lands. Martial law was declared and the Nazis conducted house-to-house searches looking for the parachutists and the members of the Czech resistance movement who had helped them. More than 1,600 people were executed and more were sent to concentration camps in the period immediately following the assassination. The terror reached its height with the annihilation of the village of Lidice, where 339 men were executed and the women and children of the village were sent to concentration camps. A few weeks later, the village of Lezaky, where the Nazis killed 54 men, women and children, was also razed to the ground. By the time this terror - known as the "Heydrichiada" - was over, the Nazis had damaged the resistance movement so much that it was only able to resume its activities at the very end of the war.
The resistance movements in Czechoslovakia culminated in the Slovak National Uprising of 1944 - which was brutally put down - and in the Prague Uprising in the Czech lands in May of 1945 - which started just a few days before foreign armies arrived to officially liberate the city.
The Iron Curtain Falls
Prague and most of the rest of Czechoslovakia were liberated by the Soviet Red Army in May, 1945. That this would happen had been decided by Roosevelt, Stalin and Churchill at the Yalta Conference. It was at this same conference that it was decided that Czechoslovakia would come under the Soviet "sphere of influence" after World War II.
But the westernmost part of the country - from the beer-brewing town of Pilsen to the spa town of Carlsbad (Karlovy Vary) were liberated by the Americans, led by General Patton.
It was in 1945, too, that the USSR officially annexed Ruthenia.
On May 7, 1945, Germany unconditionally surrendered to the Allied Forces, but the last shots on Czech territory were fired on May 11.
During the war, most of the members of the domestic resistance movement had gradually become ever more leftist in their ideology, since they were so vehemently opposed to the extreme right ideals that were ruling it at the time. Czechoslovakia's first post-war government was constructed exclusively from the political parties of the leftist "National Front." These included the Communist Party, the Social Democratic Party, the National Democratic Party, the People's Party and the Slovak Democratic Party. Pre-war right-wing parties were not allowed to renew their activities, because of their real and/or alleged collaboration with the Nazis.
Left-wing Social Democrat, Zdenek Fierlinger, well-known for his affiliation with the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia (KSC), was appointed Prime Minister. The remaining six government posts were filled with Czech and Slovak Communists - Klement Gottwald, Viliam Siroky, Vaclav Kopecky, Julius Duris and Jozef Soltesz. In addition, the Communists were able to place their loyal supporter, Ludvik Svoboda (later Czechoslovak President), in the key post of defense minister. Thus, the extreme left gained a strong political position in the newly-liberated country as early as 1945.
Democratic life in Czechoslovakia never fully recovered. The most apparent demonstration of this were the 1945 Presidential Decrees (today called the "Benes Decrees"), especially those of October 24, 1945 on the nationalization of coal mines, heavy industry, food production, banks and private insurance companies. More than 3,000 companies - representing about two-thirds of the overall industrial capacity of the country at that time - were nationalized.
Other presidential decrees were issued "on the punishment of Nazi criminals, traitors and their supporters, and on extraordinary people's courts" (the Large Retribution Decree of June 19, 1945); and "on the punishment of some offenses against the national pride" (the Small Retribution Decree of October 10, 1945). On the basis of these decrees, not only the real collaborators - but also those who were only accused of collaboration - were punished harshly and without regular trials.
Before World War II, some 30 percent of the population in the Czech lands had been Germans; in Slovakia, 17 percent had been Hungarians.
In 1945, 700,000 Germans were expelled from Czechoslovakia under an agreement which was sanctioned by the Allies and had been reached at the Potsdam Conference. This expulsion was, in some cases, accompanied by brutality against the Germans, which brought about protests by the Allied Powers. In the second and more organized wave of deportation in 1946, 1.3 million Germans were deported to the American zone (in what would become West Germany) and 800,000 to the Soviet zone (in what would become East Germany). Another 200,000 Germans had fled voluntarily before the end of the war to the American zone, and around 200,000 escaped to Austria.
According to the Presidential Decrees, property which had belonged to many of these people was confiscated and put under "national supervision," and the people themselves were deprived of their Czechoslovak citizenship.
Only about half a million Germans remained on the territory of Czechoslovakia after the deportations, and just 165,000 of these claimed German nationality in the first post-war census. In 1950, according to the official statistics, Germans accounted for just 1.8 percent of the population in the Czech lands, compared with a pre- war count of 23 percent.
The Potsdam Conference, which had approved the expulsion of Germans from the Czech lands, had vetoed the deportation of the Hungarian minority from Slovakia, after the Allies saw what had happened in the first deportations. Nonetheless, anti- Hungarian sentiment was so strong that a significant number of Hungarians did not claim Hungarian nationality in the 1950 census. Official statistics from that census show a significant drop in the number of people claiming Hungarian nationality in Slovakia, from around 17 percent before the war to only about 10 percent after the war.
Czechoslovakia's first post-war Parliament, the provisional National Assembly, began its activities on October 28, 1945. Its composition had been determined by an agreement among the political parties and social organizations within the "National Front."
The first test of the new political environment came with the Parliamentary elections of May 1946. The results corresponded to the expectations of the Communists, who won 40.17 percent of the vote, making them the most powerful party in Parliament by quite a large margin. The next strongest parties were the National Socialists with 23.66 percent, the People's Party with 20.24 percent and the Social Democrats with 15.28 percent. In Slovakia, the Communists obtained only 30.37 percent of the vote, while the Democratic Party took 62 percent. Two newly-registered Slovak parties, the Freedom Party and the Labor Party, together received just 3.73 percent of the vote.
In terms of the country as a whole, it was a landslide election victory for the Communists. In the new Parliament, the Constituent National Assembly, they won 114 seats, while the National Socialists held 55, the People's Party 46, the Democrats 43, the Social Democrats united with the Slovak Labor Party 39, and the Freedom Party had just three seats.
Based on the results of the May elections, a new government headed by the Communist leader Klement Gottwald was appointed on July 6, 1946. Gottwald formed a cabinet consisting of seven Czech Communists; two Slovak Communists; four Ministers from the National Socialists, the Democrats, and representatives of the People's Party; and three Social Democrats. Thus, the communists had a strong grip on power well in advance of the "coup" which would take place nearly two years later. Only two government ministers were not then members of any political party. (They were Foreign Minister Jan Masaryk (the son of Czechoslovakia's first president, Tomas Garrigue Masaryk) would soon meet his death under mysterious circumstances - and War Hero Ludvik Svoboda, who would later join the Communist Party and later still would become Czechoslovak President in 1968.)
On June 5, 1947, U.S. Secretary of State George C. Marshall delivered a speech in which he offered assistance (which came to be known as the Marshall Plan) from the United States to all the countries of Europe for the reconstruction of their economies damaged during the war.
The Soviet Union had already refused to participate in the plan as early as June 1946. And in fact, of the future Soviet bloc countries, only Czechoslovakia considered taking part in the Marshall Plan. After consultations with Stalin, however, Czechoslovakia, too, refused the aid. For the next four decades, Czechoslovakia would continue to follow Soviet orders.
The "Socialization" of Czechoslovakia
At the start of 1948, the Communist Minister of the Interior sacked eight non-Communist police officers. This move was protested by the democratic ministers in the government, but to no avail. As a stronger protest, they tendered their resignations - expecting that this would lead to the resignation and subsequent reorganization of the entire government. However, and much to their chagrin, this was not to be.
Instead, President Edvard Benes accepted their resignations, and their positions were filled by Communist Party members or sympathizers. Thus, from February 1948, all political power in the country was in the hands of the Communist leaders. In Communist propaganda, these events came to be known as "Victorious February" (Vitezny unor) today they are referred to as the "Communist Coup."
Almost immediately - with the parliamentary elections of May 1948 - the Communists became more openly hostile to normal democratic mechanisms. Non-Communists who attempted to campaign in the elections were persecuted by the police, and voters were only offered a list of candidates from the National Front - no opposition politicians were on the voting list. Yet even using these extreme measures, the Communists did not feel secure that their election victory was guaranteed. So, to make absolutely sure that things went as they wanted them to go, the Communists also falsified the election results. Thus the parties of the National Front were credited with winning an amazing 89.2 percent of the vote -- which is still rather a modest majority when compared with later Communist election "victories," which would see the National Front win 99.9 percent of the "vote."
On May 9, 1948, parliament had passed a new constitution guaranteeing a "leading role" for the Communist Party in political life. President Edvard Benes refused to sign the new legislation, and so he was forced to resign on June 7, 1948. On June 14, the National Assembly elected Klement Gottwald Czechoslovakia's new (and first 'working-class') president; and on June 15, Czechoslovakia's fifth post-war government was appointed with Antonin Zapotocky at its head.
In April 1948, the Czechoslovak Parliament had passed legislation nationalizing most companies that had more than 50 employees. In actuality, though, even much smaller companies were nationalized as a result of these laws. By the end of 1948, some 95 percent of the industrial workforce in Czechoslovakia were employees of the state. The next private sector to be eliminated were small tradesmen and shopkeepers.
In 1949, the law on Standard Farming Cooperatives was approved, launching the forced collectivization of agriculture. Industry was reorganized to favor heavy machinery and military production, and foreign trade was shifted away from western markets in favor of the Soviet Union and its satellites.
To better coordinate the individual economies within the Soviet bloc, the Council for Mutual Economic Assistance (Comecon) was established in 1949, with Czechoslovakia as one of its founding members.
The first Soviet "advisors" arrived in Czechoslovakia in September 1949, to show the locals how best to search for class enemies. Not surprisingly, their first victims were Communists - and powerful ones. The high point of the Communist Party's purges at this time was the "trial" against the Secretary General of the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia, Rudolf Slansky - allegedly the ringleader of a group of treasonous, counter-revolutionary conspirators. Many historians today say that this purge was just so much thinly-veiled, Soviet-style anti-semitism - as Slansky and most of the other accused were Jewish.
The repression and show trials of 1948-53 did much to populate the forced labor camps - the most notorious of which was at the Jachymov uranium mines - and to decimate the anti-Communist opposition. Subsequent acts of resistance to the regime remained isolated and unorganized.
It was during this dark and oppressive time that the writers and artists Jaroslav Seifert, Vitezslav Nezval, Josef Sudek, Leos Janacek, Bohuslav Martinu and Jan Zrzavy lived and worked. People caught listening to rock and roll and other foreign music or listening to foreign radio stations like Radio Netherlands were considered subversives and thrown in jail.
It was at this time, too, that the authorities - for reasons which remain unexplained to this day - started to claim that the Americans did not liberate the westernmost part of Czechoslovakia after World War II. To those people who insisted they had seen them with their own eyes, the authorities explained that those people they had seen were really Russian soldiers dressed up in American uniforms.
Czechoslovakia's first "worker president," Klement Gottwald, died in 1953, just 10 days after attending Stalin's funeral. Some say he died of a broken heart; others claim he was the victim of a virus that he caught while visiting Moscow, still others are of the opinion that he drank himself to death.
In a little-known chapter in Czech history, 1953 also saw active protests against the Communist regime, especially in Plzen and Ostrava, because of worsening economic conditions. These rebellions had to be put down by force, and the fact that they had taken place at all was supressed by the Communist regime. The ringleaders were sent to hard labor camps like the one at Jachymov.
In addition to Comecon, the Soviet Union and its satellites were united by the military Warsaw Pact, which was founded on May 14, 1955. This "Treaty on Friendship, Cooperation and Mutual Assistance" was signed by the Soviet Union, Czechoslovakia, Bulgaria, Hungary, Poland, Romania and Albania. The Pact was concluded for 20 years and then prolonged every 10 years after that; in 1985, just a handful of years before it was to become defunct, it was renewed for 30 years. It was formally dissolved by a protocol which was signed in 1991.
After the death of President Antonin Zapotocky, Antonin Novotny - the First Secretary of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia - was elected President. For the first time, the top posts of both the state and the Party were in the hands of just one man. Later, it was learned that Novotny had been a spy for the Gestapo during the war. During his presidency, Novotny had a fish pond stocked with carp installed in the very formal Royal Gardens of Prague Castle so that he wouldn't have far to go when he felt like going fishing.
Well, time passed and in 1960, the Communists adopted a new constitution which officially changed the name of the country to "The Czechoslovak Socialist Republic (CSSR)" because, as they said, a socialist society - the first step on the road to true communism - had already been achieved in the country.
But even this spiffy new name did not help to slow the country's rapid and alarming economic decline.
The Prague Spring
Fear diminished and political and artistic freedoms increased in Czechoslovakia in the 1960's. Changes took place in the Central Committee of the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia as well.
The post of First Secretary of the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia was taken away from Antonin Novotny and given to Alexander Dubcek, a Slovak Communist who was not very well known at that time (much like Mikhail Gorbacev, who was also relatively unknown when named to the top Soviet post decades later).
Key officials connected with the Novotny government were gradually replaced and Novotny himself resigned on March 28, 1968. Ludvik Svoboda (the post-war Defense Minister) became the Czechoslovak president, and on April 8 a new government, headed by Oldrich Cernik, was appointed.
A bit like Gorbacev would do decades later in the Soviet Union, Dubcek set out to reform all aspects of life in the country. In effect, he was doing little more than giving a legal stamp of approval to the grassroots changes that were already taking place. The government platform, approved by the Communist Party Central Committee in April, criticized the policies of the past - especially those that had done such damage to the economy. For the first time since 1948, the government proclaimed the legitimacy of basic human rights and liberties in Czechoslovakia, and objected to the persecution of people for their political convictions.
Around this time, the public was greatly influenced by a text called "2,000 Words," which was written by Ludvik Vaculik and published in the literary weekly Literarni noviny, and in the dailies Prace and Zemedelske noviny. The piece called on the people to struggle against everything they considered to be bad, and appealed to them to take control of their own lives.
The people listened, and it wasn't long before jazz music, rock clubs, pop culture, miniskirts and other symbols of Western imperialism were to be spotted all over the place, but most especially in Prague. Bohumil Hrabal, Josef Koudelka, Ivan Klima, Josef Skoverecky, Milan Kundera, Arnost Lustig, Milos Forman, Jiri Menzl and many other writers and artists were all living and working at this time. Culture thrived, and the Czechs are especially well known for the films they produced at this time. They also invented a percursor to the modern-day music video, which they called "television songs," and experimented with multimedia, and Laterna Magika and other forms of Black Light Theater date from this time.
The reforms that enabled this growing freedom were - in the words of Alexandr Dubcek - an attempt to create "Socialism with a human face," and came to be known as the "Prague Spring." They were also considered to be terribly threatening by those in power in the Soviet Union, as they compromised the uniformity of the Soviet bloc.
The Soviet Union and its satellites began to more vocally criticize the renegade Czechoslovak Republic. This political pressure from around the bloc peaked in the summer of 1968. The Czechoslovaks didn't listen.
Over the night of August 20-21 1968, Warsaw Pact forces (with the exception of Romania, which refused to participate) invaded Czechoslovakia, beginning a 20-year period of occupation and "normalization." The Soviets insisted they had been invited to invade the country, as loyal Czechoslovak Communists had told them that they urgently required "fraternal assistance against the counter-revolution." (After the Velvet Revolution of 1989, a letter of invitation was, indeed, discovered to exist). Alexandr Dubcek and the other Prague Spring leaders were whisked off to Moscow.
Ludvik Svoboda, the President of the Republic, left for Moscow on August 23. The results of his talks there, which were not concluded until August 28, were summed up in a defeatist Moscow memorandum in which Czech and Slovak signatories agreed with the temporary presence of Soviet troops on the territory of the CSSR. Only one member of the delegation, Frantisek Kriegel, refused to sign the memorandum.
After the failure of the Prague Spring, Czechoslovak reformists tried to preserve at least some of the achievements of their reform efforts. One of these was the constitutional issue, which gave more autonomy to Slovakia. On October 28, 1968, the Czechoslovak National Assembly approved a new constitutional law on the creation of a Czechoslovak Federation. It was signed into law by President Svoboda at Bratislava Castle on October 30, and it decreed that Czechoslovakia be divided internally into two separate Czech and Slovak Republics. The federal setup took effect on January 1, 1969.
But just two months later, the Federal Assembly adopted three more new constitutional laws curtailing and in fact undermining the previous amendment, meaning that the new federation existed in name only. State administration was again strictly centralized.
About 150,000 Czechs and Slovaks fled to the west as a result of all this hubbub. Many of those who stayed continued to protest the invasion. In the most famous of the individual acts of protest, a young philosophy student, Jan Palach, self-immolated himself on Wenceslas Square in January, 1969. In the political purges of late 1969 and early 1970, thousands of people were removed from their jobs (and, since it was illegal to be unemployed, most of the country's intellectual elite spent the next 20 years washing windows or floors, stoking coal furnaces or selling vegetables or newspapers) and half a million people were expelled from the Communist Party.
The easygoing leaders of the 1960's were banned (Dubcek spent the next 20 years in the Slovak forestry service), and replaced by hardnosed hardliners. The new communist government was one of the most repressive in all of the East Bloc - surpassed only by East Germany and Albania. The ensuing period of "normalization" during the 1970's and about half of the 1980's - like the Counter-Reformation - was a bleak and unhappy time for the nation. The architecture of the time reflects this: most of the construction during this period was focused on building largescale "pre-fabricated housing" districts on the outskirts of cities. These neighborhoods today are still grey and depressing, with block after block of identical cement housing (the Czechs call them "rabbit hutches") and little or no greenery.
Ludvik Svoboda was still the President of Czechoslovakia, but by this time he was already rather old and becoming forgetful. He used to walk around Prague Castle asking where Dubcek was. This grew to be rather embarrasing, and Svoboda was forced to resign due to "illness." Gustav Husak, the General Secretary of the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia, was elected as President in his place - thus holding down both top functions in the country. (The last change in Party power before the fall of Communism took place with the 1987 election of Milos Jakes as Secretary General of the Communist Party of Czechoslovakia.)
Active opposition to the policies of normalization had begun to form during the initial Warsaw Pact occupation of August, 1968. They grew into underground movements during the bleak 1970's.
In 1976, the members of the underground rock band called "The Plastic People of the Universe" were arrested and charged with crimes against the state for holding a rock concert. This was one of the catalysts for the creation of the well-known "Charter 77" movement, which was formed to monitor and to internationally report human rights abuses within the country. Its first spokesmen were Vaclav Havel, Jan Patocka and Jiri Hajek. They and many other groups actively resisted the Communist regime, and many of them endured long jail terms for their efforts.
The "Velvet Revolution"
During the second half of the 1980s, the general situation in Czechoslovakia became more easygoing, especially after the introduction of Perestroika reforms in the then-Soviet Union. But the Czechoslovak leadership - still headed by Gustav Husak, who had assumed power after the Soviet Invasion of 1968 - was leery of movements intended to "reform communism from within" and continued to toe a hard line in Czechoslovakia, much to the chagrin of Mikhail Gorbacev. But by 1988 there were organized demonstrations demanding change - and just about one month after the fall of the Berlin Wall, communism in Czechoslovakia became a casualty as well.
The six-week period between November 17 and December 29, 1989, also known as the "Velvet Revolution" brought about the bloodless overthrow of the Czechoslovak communist regime. Almost immediately, rumors (which have never been proved) began to circulate that the impetus for the Velvet Revolution had come from a KGB provocateur sent by Gorbacev, who wanted reform rather than hardline communists in power. The theory goes that the popular demonstrations went farther than Gorbacev and the KGB had intended. In part because of this, the Czechs do not like the term "Velvet Revolution," preferring to call what happened "the November Events" (Listopadove udalosti) or - sometimes - just "November" (Listopad). But we digress.
It all started on November 17, 1989 - fifty years to the day that Czech students had held a demonstration to protest the Nazi occupation of Czechoslovakia. On this anniversary, students in the capital city of Prague were again protesting an oppressive regime.
The protest began as a legal rally to commemorate the death of Jan Opletal, but turned instead into a demonstration demanding democratic reforms. Riot police stopped the students (who were making their way from the Czech National Cemetery at Vysehrad to Wenceslas Square) halfway in their march, in Narodni trida. After a stand-off in which the students offered flowers to the riot police and showed no resistance, the police bagan beating the young demonstrators with night sticks. In all, at least 167 people were injured. One student was reportedly beaten to death, and - although this was later proved false - this rumor served to crystallize support for the students and their demands among the general public. In a severe blow to the communists' morale, a number of workers' unions immediately joined the students' cause.
From Saturday, November 18, until the general strike of November 27, mass demonstrations took place in Prague, Bratislava, and elsewhere - and public discussions instead of performances were held in Czechoslovakia' theaters. During one of these discussions, at the Cinoherni Klub theater on Sunday, November 19, the Civic Forum (OF) was established as the official "spokesgroup" for "the segment of the Czechoslovak public which is ever more critical of the policy of the present Czechoslovak leadership."
The Civic Forum, led by the then-dissident Vaclav Havel, demanded the resignation of the Communist government, the release of prisoners of conscience, and investigations into the November 17 police action. A similar initiative - the Public Against Violence (VPN) - was born in Slovakia on November 20, 1989. Both of them were joined en masse by Czechoslovak citizens - from university students and staff to workers in factories and employees of other institutions. It took about 2 weeks for the nation's media to begin broadcasting reports of what was really going on in Prague, and in the interim students travelled to cities and villages in the countryside to rally support outside the capital.
The leaders of the Communist regime were totally unprepared to deal with the popular unrest, even though communist regimes throughout the region had been wobbling and toppling around them for some time.
As the mass demonstrations continued - and more and more Czechoslovaks supported the general strikes that were called - an extraordinary session of the Czechoslovak Communist Party Central Committee was called. The Presidium of the Communist Party resigned, and a relatively unknown Party member, Karel Urbanek, was elected as the new Communist Party leader. The public rejected these cosmetic changes, which were intended to give the impression that the Communist Party was being reformed from within as it had been in 1968. The people's dissatisfaction increased.
Massive demonstrations of almost 750,000 people at Letna Park in Prague on November 25 and 26, and the general strike on the 27th were devastating for the communist regime. Prime Minister Ladislav Adamec was forced to hold talks with the Civic Forum, which was led by still- dissident (soon to be President) Vaclav Havel. The Civic Forum presented a list of political demands at their second meeting with Adamec, who agreed to form a new coalition government, and to delete three articles - guaranteeing a leading role in political life for the Czechoslovak Communist Party and for the National Front, and mandating Marxist-Leninist education - from the Constitution. These amendments were unanimously approved by the communist parliament the next day, on November 29, 1989.
Well, the old saying that 'if you give them an inch, they'll take a mile' held true, and the communist capitulation led to increased demands on the part of the demonstrators. A new government was formed by Marian Calfa; it included just nine members of the Czechoslovak Communist Party (several of whom actively cooperated with the Civic Forum); two members of the Czechoslovak Socialist Party; two members of the Czechoslovak People's Party; and seven ministers with no party affiliation - all of latter were Civic Forum or Public Against Violence activists.
This new government was named by Czechoslovak President Gustav Husak on December 10. The same evening, he went on television to announce his resignation, and the Civic Forum cancelled a general strike which had been scheduled for the next day.
At the 19th joint session of the two houses of the Federal Assembly, Alexandr Dubcek - who had led the ill-fated Prague Spring movement in the 1960's - was elected Speaker of the Federal Assembly. One day later, the parliament elected the Civic Forum's leader, Vaclav Havel, President of Czechoslovakia.
Despite their many shortcomings - not the least of which were political inexperience and serious time pressures - the new government and parliament were able to fill in many of the most gaping gaps in the Czechoslovak legal framework - concentrating in particular on the areas of human rights and freedoms, private ownership, and business law. They were also able to lay the framework for the first free elections to be held in Czechoslovakia in more than 40 years.
The results of the 1990 local and parliamentary elections in Czechoslovakia, which were likened at the time to a referendum which posed the question "Communism, yes or no?" showed a sweeping victory for the soon to be extinct Civic Forum (OF) in the Czech Republic, and for the Public Against Violence (VPN) in Slovakia. In other words, "Communism, no thanks."
The turnout for the local elections was more than 73 percent, and for Parliamentary elections more than 96 percent of the population went to the polls!
Czech Petr Pithart of the Civic Forum was elected as Czech Premier, Slovaks Vladimir Meciar and Marian Calfa, both of the Public Against Violence (VPN), were elected Slovak and Federal Premier, respectively. Vaclav Havel was re-elected as the Czechoslovak President on July 5, 1990.
The Czech Republic Today
The Czechoslovak government, after recovering its breath after the heady days and months which followed the Velvet Revolution (or "November"), set about dismantling old frameworks. The totally new situation after the fall of Communism led to an almost immediate about-face in international relations for Czechoslovakia. The Warsaw Pact and Comecon were out, and NATO and the European Union are currently in - the Czech Republic is set to join both, and already participates in NATO's "Partnership for Peace" program and is associate member of the European Union and a member of the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD).
As early as 1990, the country military cooperated closely with the US military while participating in the UN-sanctioned Gulf War. Since then, the country's army has played a continuous role in UN peace- keeping missions in the former Yugoslavia.
In the early 1990's many countries in the Central and Eastern European region fell apart: Yugoslavia, the Soviet Union, and Czechoslovakia have all ceased to exist. For Czechoslovakia, the transition to separate Czech and Slovak Republics was entirely peaceful.
That Czechoslovakia would become defunct was basically decided at the polls with the nationwide general elections of 1992, when the Czechs voted overwhelmingly for the Civic Democratic Party (ODS) led by then-Federal Finance Minister, Vaclav Klaus - a strict Monetarist of the Milton Friedman school, a fan of Margaret Thatcher, and one of the fathers (along with Tomas Jezek and Dusan Triska) of the Czech economic reform and privitization processes. Meanwhile, the Slovaks voted in the Movement for a Democratic Slovakia (HZDS) led by the staunch nationalist Vladimir Meciar, whose platform basically consisted of two planks: more autonomy for the eastern half of the former Czechoslovakia and the slowing down of the privitization process and economic reforms.
Voter preference in the two halves of Czechoslovakia reflected such divergent public opinion on how the future of the country should progress - with the Czechs choosing fast-paced reforms and the Slovaks choosing a time-out in the reform process - that the election winners in the two halves of Czechoslovakia soon decided that a shared future for the two nations was essentially impossible.
The next six months were spent dividing the common property that the two partners in the Czechoslovak Federation shared. Like all "divorces," the breakup of Czechoslovakia was painful and a little bit messy. But it was as amicable as it could be under the circumstances. Czechoslovakia peacefully ceased to exist on December 31, 1992.
In the Czech Republic, coupon privitization, restitution, and the selling off of formerly state-owned companies (in two stages - known as the "Small Privitization" and the "Large Privitization") continued apace. Huge state monopolies like those in the Telecommunications and Tobacco industries were privatized - but banks were not. A complex debt structure that the largest formerly state companies retained from communist times (when it was impossible for a factory to stop manufacturing goods for ie a "business partner" in the Soviet Union even if he did not pay) led to an even more complex system of mutual insolvency (in which company A owed money to company B which owed money to company C which owed money to company X which owed money to our original company A). This situation was, unfortunately, never resolved. The state-run banks were unwilling to foreclose on companies A-C and X, fearing a rise in unemployment. Banks tended to loan very little money at very high interest rates, and when mismanagement and embezzlement caused a number of Czech banks to fold in the first half of the 1990s, the government bailed them out instead of allowing them to fail - essentially making the same mistake the banks had done in not letting any large enterprises fail on account of their unmanageable debts.
Medium and small businesses did not receive government support - nor did Czech-made goods - even though the private sector desperately needed a shot in the arm after 40 years of communism. Taxes for both individuals and business were - as is usual in Europe - rather high. In 1996, restrictions on trading of the Czech crown were lifted, making it the first convertible currency in the former Soviet Bloc.
In mid 1997, foreign market speculation with the newly convertible Czech currency caused a monetary crisis which brought all the deficiencies in the Czech privitazation process and economic transformation glaringly into the forefront of political life in this country. As this text was being prepared for Radio Prague's "History Online" exhibit, it seemed possible (even likely) that the government would soon face a no-confidence vote in the parliament, and President Vaclav Havel (who remarried in early 1997) may well call early elections in the not-too-distant future. (If he does not, the next regular elections are scheduled to take place in 2000.)
This is not as bad as it sounds, as early elections have been expected ever since the parliamentary elections of mid-1996 (the first for the independent Czech Republic) returned an unclear mandate to the government. On the one hand, voters returned the same parties which have ruled in coalition since the 1996 elections to power - confirming their agreement with economic reforms and the post-Velvet Revolution leadership (rather than returning to socialist or reform- communist parties, as voters have done in Poland, Hungary, and other post communist countries). But they returned them with much lower overall voter support - so that they initially had a minority in the Parliament (99 seats out of a total of 200).
While all of the nation's problems have not been solved in the eight years since the communists were swept from power, much has been done. In the fall of 1996, the Czech Republic's first Senate as upper house of parliament was elected; while in the spring of that year - in their last session before the 1996 elections, the Czech parliament passed a law enabling the public to access their old Communist Secret Police files (at least those portions of them that don't compromise national security).
The fall of the Iron Curtained re-opened formerly closed borders, and the Czech Republic has become one of the premier tourist destinations in all the world. Unspoilt medieval city centres in Prague, Telc, Cesky Krumlov and Kutna Hora are on the UNESCO World Heritage list, as is the Pilgrimage Church of St John of Nepomuk in Zdar nad Sazavou.
Many foreigners have also moved to the Czech Republic, especially to Prague. This has returned the kind of lively, cosmopolitan feel the capital city has traditionally enjoyed through the ages, situated as it always has been on the "crossroads of Europe."
Accomplishments like the Oscar for Best Foreign Film of 1996 going to the Czech film, Kolya and the Czech victory at the 1996 World Hockey championships in Vienna (and their second-place win in the European Cup soccer finals the same year) as well as the 9 medals they brought back from the 1996 Olympics have done a lot to help to build up Czech national pride, which was rather at an ebb after 40 years of communist rule made most Czechs feel disconcerted, and as if they were "second-class Euro citizens."
After the fall of communism, people in the arts had feared that the loss of state subsidies would lead to a sharp decline in the standard of Czech culture. This has not, apparently, been the case - and Czech film, theater and music have flourished in the absence of censorship and other state interference.
Architectural activity has mostly focused on the reconstruction of important buildings that suffered from 40 years of criminal neglect under the communists. As for new buildings, the "Dancing House," (also nicknamed "Fred and Ginger") on Rasinovo nabrezi (next to President Havel's former flat) has - like the Cubist, Rondo, and other new architectural styles which came before it - caused many disputes and much controversy. But new building activity is low, and the housing crisis which has plagued this country since at least the 1920s is as bad as ever it was. The lifting of rent controls on July 1, 1997 should help to remedy the situation at least a little. As with the current economic and political crises, we will have to wait and see. [/QUOTE]
[Feb 13,2009 12:39pm - brian_dc ""]
brian_dc said:everyone here is genuinely upset about this. You've made us all feel bad and we're all going to quit now.
I'm posting in this thread
[Oct 26,2009 11:20am - DestroyYouAlot ""]
Bump for crashing your browser.
[Oct 26,2009 11:24am - brian_dc ""]
mammaries
[Oct 26,2009 11:27am - brian_dc ""]
brian_dc said:password for the_reverend: filliecheizstakes
[Oct 26,2009 11:36am - boblovesmusic ""]
that was an entertaining thread skim
[Oct 26,2009 12:50pm - the_reverend ""]
I need to fix a bug obviously.
[Oct 26,2009 1:15pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
FEATURE =/= BUG
[Feb 8,2011 1:37pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
NEVAR 4GET
[Feb 20,2012 12:28pm - kadoogler ""]
I DID IT FIRST, FUCK THAT NEW TROLL THREAD. BACK IN MY DAY, ONE THREAD COULD BREAK ALL OF RETURN TO THE PIT!
[Feb 20,2012 12:35pm - DestroyYouAlot ""]
If you didn't read that ENTIRE POST, I don't really think you're qualified to argue ITT. :D